Chp 30

Kyuhyun... It's been hard on you.

*Author's note: REALLY minor language this chapter. I doubt you'd even notice.

 

"Hey - hey," I heard. "I can't believe you actually went back to sleep."

I opened my eyes. Ryeowook was standing by the bedside. Thankfully, most of the headache was gone.

"What time is it?" I said, wincing.

"It's 10:30am," he said. I squeezed my eyes shut. "The manager hyung's going to be here in half an hour. If you don't want to get in more trouble than you're already in, you should get up and be dressed."

"Okay," I said. "Can you get me my suitcase from the closet in the living room?" I asked.

"Wow, look at you, ordering me around already," said Ryeowook.

"Fine," I said, making a move to get up from the bed right away. "I'll get it myself."

"Okay, okay," said Ryeowook, putting his hand on my chest. "Fine, I'll do it."

I smirked, proud of myself for successfully tricking Ryeowook. Seeing my smile, Ryeowook shook his head. "Aren't you scared?"

"Of what?" I said.

"Of the deep you're sitting in, Kyuhyun," said Ryeowook.

"No," I said. I looked up. Ryeowook stared at me with raised eyebrows. I sighed. "Yes. Obviously. I don't know how the manager hyung's going to react. I don't know if LSM knows and if I'll be kicked off the team. I haven't spoken to anyone on the team since last night and I'm afraid that they hate me more than they already do for getting them into trouble. I don't know if my cut's going to heal in time for me to show my face on stage on Saturday."

"So tell me that," said Ryeowook.

"Okay," I said. "I'm scared. Are you happy now?"

"Well, no," said Ryeowook. "I'm not happy that you're scared. But I'm glad you told me how you really feel."

"You're really annoying," I said. "Go get my suitcase."

"And you're really caustic," complained Ryeowook. "And really cold," he added as he kicked open the door and went into the hallway.

"And you're being really immature!" I called out as he was leaving the room.

When Ryeowook returned with my suitcase, I thanked him.

"Do you have a story?" asked Ryeowook. I sighed.

"Nope," I said. "I'll go with the flow on this one." Ryeowook shook his head in disbelief.

"Look, you can't just - "

"Did you sleep on the floor last night?" I asked, changing the subject. Ryeowook nodded.

"How does it feel?" I asked. "I do that every day."

"I know. That probably ," said Ryeowook. "My hip and my shoulder hurt... and that's with just one night."

"You have to sleep on your back, not your side," I said. "I figured that out on the first day."

"Good for you," said Ryeowook. "But unlike you, I won't have to implement that strategy any time in the near future." He glanced at the clock. "Get dressed. In your uniform."

"I'm not going today, I told you," I said. "Get off my back already."

"I don't think that would be the wise thing to do, seeing as Manager hyung is probably extremely pissed off as he is. Go to school. No one probably even cares that you're on the team," said Ryeowook.

"Ugh," I said. "Fine. Just... get out."

Ryeowook was halfway out the door when I heard him whisper to himself, "why do I keep taking orders from him?"

I laughed and opened my suitcase. I hesitated before putting on my school uniform, but I did it anyway.

I opened the door to Ryeowook's room, and Ryeowook, who was waiting just outside, came back inside and looked at me in my non-flattering school uniform.

"Handsome," he said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked.

"Most of them are filming that Full House thing again. The others are in the living room," said Ryeowook.

"Should I... go and apologize to everyone?" I asked, uncertain.

"You do what you want," said Ryeowook. He looked at the clock. "You've got 10 minutes."

I sighed. "Well, saying 'sorry' seems to be what I'm best at nowadays, so let me at it," I said, and walking past Ryeowook, I opened the door.

Ryeowook patted my back. "They're actually really nice guys once you get to know them," he said.

"I'm sure," I muttered, and I made my way to the living room. I took a deep breath before turning the corner into the living room. Once I did turn it, I did a very quick overview of who was there. The four of them - Leeteuk, Yesung, Sungmin and Eunhyuk were squeezed onto the couch with a laptop on Sungmin's lap.

"Hi," I said with a deep bow. "Um..." Everyone looked at me, and I got to my knees. "I just want to apologize for last night. It was totally irresponsible and unacceptable... and I can't apologize enough. I'm really so sorry."

I was met with silence.

"It was absolutely inexcusable. I don't expect that you'll be able to forgive me right now, but I hope that you'll be able to find it in you to forgive me in the future," I said. "And I'm so sorry for letting you down."

Then, Leeteuk got up. I looked at him momentarily, then lowered my gaze again. He didn't say anything; he just walked away into his room, and slammed the door. I looked down again. Then Yesung spoke.

"I don't regret what I did yesterday," he said, looking at my bandaged eyebrow. "If you don't start showing more respect for your seniors, I'm not going to try to control myself."

I just bowed my head. Although I didn't retort, I couldn't believe Yesung still didn't think that what he did was wrong, and I couldn't believe that I was the one to apologize to him. I knew what I did last night was wrong, but Yesung was ultimately the one to start it. There was silence for a few more seconds, and then Sungmin got up.

"You shouldn't be starting the morning on your knees," he said. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up to my feet. At the same time that I was extremely grateful for this gesture, I couldn't meet his gaze. I put my hands together and lowered my head.

"I'm so sorry," I said again.

"Go and get ready to start the day," said Sungmin, urging me into the hallway.

I bowed deeply again, and didn't come back up for a few seconds. "Sorry," I said again as I finally straightened, and Sungmin grabbed my shoulders and walked me to the hallway. When we were there, Sungmin looked at me.

"Hyung, I was really rude to you yesterday," I said. "I'm really sorry. I know you just opened up to me, and I..."

Sungmin pretended he didn't hear me and cut me off. "You know the U soundtrack and music video were released at midnight, right?"

I looked at him, and then I remembered. "Sure," I said uneasily. I couldn't believe I forgot.

"Things are looking incredible," he said. "The four of us were monitoring just now. We've already got five hundred thousand downloads on our website. And a lot of the comments say that you don't look too bad. That's not to say that you should go and start reading them, but you know how all of the comments were negative yesterday? I'd say you've converted about a quarter of them already. They really want to judge you on the live stage."

My jaw dropped. Five hundred thousand? And then I brought myself back down to Earth. "We should all be celebrating right now, and we're not because of me. I just... don't know what to say," I said.

"Forget it," said Sungmin. "I don't blame you... I probably would have reacted the same way. Trust the makeup artists. And take care of yourself. Your voice doesn't sound too great at the moment."

"Sorry," I said again.

"The other guys will come around," he said. "Give it time."

I nodded. Sungmin patted me on the back, and I took this as dismissal, and returned to Ryeowook's room.

"How was it?" asked Ryeowook, who was sitting on his bed.

"It's insane. Go out there and talk to Sungmin hyung," I said. I found my phone the pocket of my jeans from yesterday, and switched it back on.

"What?" asked Ryeowook, confused. "What do you mean?"

"He just told me U has five hundred thousand downloads already," I said. When my phone finally powered back on, I was surprised to see hundreds of missed texts and calls. Most of them were from my friends from school, asking me why I hadn't told them I was going to debut. The rest were them texting again, asking whether I wasn't replying back because fame has gotten to me already. And there were several texts from Jonghyun, first congratulating me, another one asking where I was, another few telling me to text back right away because he was worried. I smiled in gratitude that Jonghyun cared so much about me. I put both my hands on the phone to text Jonghyun.

"What? Are you serious?" asked Ryeowook. I looked up to find his mouth open.

"Yeah. I'm telling you, talk to Sungmin hyung," I said.

Ryeowook stood there for a second, then he turned around and walked out of the room, shouting "really? Is it true?"

I finished texting Jonghyun, and I sat back down on the bed. The strange combination of exhilaration from the news and the worry of what was going to happen soon was suffocating.

At that moment, I heard a key turn in the front door. The manager hyung was finally here.

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Comments

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secretanimelover #1
I might actually cry. This fic has always been so special to me and I used to come back and read my fave chapters regularly. I am so grateful that you are letting us all have access to it again. Thank you so much!
ferris_wheel
#2
Chapter 151: Thank you, i always go back to this whenever i need something to read. So thank you
mykyunie #3
Chapter 150: Love it very much
kyunniebiased4life
#4
I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE THIS UP AGAIN! I had to get a web archive from this to be able to read it. Thank you so much for allowing us to revisit this amazing story of our beloved maknae. Its a little bittersweet reading about Jonghyun, but I still love this so much.
bananajun
#5
hey, thank you so much for bringing this back.
mikaella_suju #6
Wahh I didn't know you republished this again. I literally searched the whole web just so I can re read
this again. I remembered messaging someone on Twitter asking for the link for this on wayback machine (webarchive.org). I really love this, its been years since I've read this but I still remember how good this was. Thank you for writing such an amazing fic!❤
Maymayz #7
Chapter 150: Oh my god you opened it again!!!!! I'm tearing up😭😭😭
Thank you so much for your hard work💙💙
mykyunie #8
Chapter 151: I do not understand why you are not satisfied with this job. I am not a writer, I only dedicate myself to reading the works of others, and believe me I have read many, many fics. and I must tell you that this fic is wonderful.
You cannot imagine how infinitely grateful I am that you allowed us to read it again since you stated that you did not intend to republish it.
This was the first fic I had the opportunity to read here at AFF and although I have read it many times each time I have done it, I end up in a sea of ​​tears because of the emotional roller coaster that Kyu had to go through to win the love of his hyungs and also about living the accident and recovering to achieve success.
thank you very much.
Henry9599 #9
Chapter 151: hello, i was wondering if there was sequel for "kyuhyun its been hard on you" ? I really really love that story. I really hope you can consider about sequel or one shot about suju if you are avialable. Really thank you for your amazing and lovely stories
Fridel2
#10
Chapter 151: I remember being blown away by the concept and the talent you showed. I'll keep an eye out for your AO3 ~