The manager hyung came to the suite at 8:30am to give us each our individual schedules.

13. Cho Kyuhyun
Monday May 15th, 2006

9:30am - 10:00am  Meeting to discuss recording (KH only): Rm. 502
10:00am - 11:00am Vocal warmup and practice (KH only): Rm. 301
11:20am - 12:45pm Recording (KH only): Recording studio, 3rd floor
12:45pm - 1:30pm  School (KH only): N/A
1:30pm - 2:30pm   Choreography brush-up (All SJ + choreographers): Rm. 416
2:30pm - 4:00pm   Choreography check (All SJ + LSM + choreographers): Rm. 416
4:15pm - 6:00pm   Vocal coaching (KH only): Rm. 301
6:10pm - 11:00pm  Free practice (All SJ - KB & HC): Rm. 416

When I got to SM at 9:20am, I found Jonghyun waiting for me by the entrance. He bowed and smiled.

"Hi hyung, I got these last night," he said, handing me a small plastic bag surreptitiously, and I took it in my hands. Through the plastic, they felt much like insoles in a shoe. I understood them to be the padding that he talked about the night before.

"They feel rather... thin," I said, worried.

"Well, there are thicker options, but in my experience, these do the job. Any thicker and they become noticeable. They're not perfect, but there will definitely be no marks if you use these. I'm sure once you see them, you'll be able to figure out how they work, but can I give you some words of caution?"

I nodded.

"Make sure you give appropriate reactions, hyung. And I'm not talking about making sounds. I'm talking about releasing your breath at the right time, shifting around, pretending to have trouble sitting afterwards, that type of thing. Oh, and careful they don't fall out when you go to the washroom."

"Jesus, you're a freaking expert at this."

"I've had a rebellious phase in middle school," he said, smiling.

"So... do you... you know... keep them in all the time, or just, you know," I said.

"It depends, right? If they're scheduled, then you can slip them in just before, but if they're more spontaneous, I'd say it's worth keeping them in all the time," he said. "They don't cost all that much, so you can keep replacing them if you don't feel clean doing it. You can wash and reuse, too. It's just awkward if someone walks in on you while you're washing them."

"Believe me, sanitation's not what's on my mind right now," I said, cocking my head. Jonghyun laughed.

"By the way, why aren't you at school?" I asked. Jonghyun looked at his watch.

"I told them I'd miss first period. I should run, actually," he said.

"I need to run too," I said. I held out my hand for him to shake, and touched his arm with my other hand. "Thank you. I really appreciate this."

"It's no problem," he said. "Have a good day, hyung."

"Thanks, study hard at school," I said, and Jonghyun smirked before bowing slightly and walking out of the building.

The meeting regarding the vocal recording was not really a meeting so much as an instruction session of what they were expecting and what I should be expecting. The track had already been recorded, so they would delete one of Sungmin's parts and I would record over the accompaniment.

"You only have 4 seconds," said the director. "Show them everything you have in those 4 seconds. Otherwise, we'll try giving you full liberty to sing that part the way you want it. We'll give more guidance if you seem to be having trouble."

I had nodded to agree, but I wasn't sure how I was supposed to do it.

"You can fool around with how you want to sing the part in the practice room," said the director.

After an hour of warming up and trying to sing the part multiple times, we finally moved to the recording studio. I was surrounded by multiple people, all of whom were wearing headphones. As soon as we exchanged greetings, I was sent into the tiny recording room. It was totally soundproof, which made me nervous when the door closed on me. When I stood around, lost, the director motioned me to put my headphones on through the glass that surrounded the room. When I did so, I saw him switch on a button from the control room.

"Can you hear us?" I heard out of the headphones. I nodded and looked at him. He rolled his eyes.

"Say something," he ordered.

Oh, right.

"Hi," I said into the microphone. "I can hear you."

"Good, we're picking up the sound here as well," he said. "We'll just play through what we have on the track as of right now so you get into it."

"Okay," I said. And I heard the track play out of the headphones. There was a blank spot where I was supposed to sing, but otherwise, the entire track was complete.

"Once more?" he asked once the entire track had played through. I shook my head.

"I think I'm all right," I said confidently.

"Try singing just the basic notes in your part now," said the director. He then put on the track two measures before my part, and I sang it.

"Sounds good, but try to take the breath a bit earlier so we don't get such a huge gasp for breath at the beginning of your part," he said. "Can you start putting in ad-libs?"

"But I've noticed that no one else does it in the recording."

"Just try it," he said, and again, I sang it with the ad-lib that I had planned in the practice room.

I didn't hear any comments through my headphones since he hadn't pushed the button to talk into it. However, I saw the director exchange glances with the sound coordinator and mouth "wow". I hoped this was a good "wow".

"Okay, Kyuhyun. Do what you just did again. We'll try having you sing that part five more times." I guessed that indicated a good "wow". I felt pride soaring through my chest.

"Sure," I said. After five more takes, the director seemed happy already.

"That's unbelievable," he said into the button. "We should be able to keep those."

"Thank you," I said, slightly embarrassed.

"Let us just hear what each of them sound like in context," he said. Within a few minutes, out of the headphones, I heard the entire track play again, this time, with my part roughly inserted. He did the same for each of the takes, and when we got to the fourth take, he was extremely pleased.

"I think we are finished with you, you can come out now," he said, then he bent over the controls to get a better look at the computer screen. Already? I looked at the clock. It was only 11:55am; this session was scheduled until 12:45pm.

As I stepped out of the recording room after carefully removing my headsets, I bowed. "Thanks for your hard work!" I said.

The director and sound coordinators looked up and smiled. I bowed again and left the room.

Feeling proud of myself after such a successful recording session, I wandered aimlessly in the hallway for a while. I looked at my schedule. Within about a half hour, I would have to leave for school, where I had to deal with the vice principal. This reminder prompted me to put my hands in my pocket to feel the small plastic bag sitting there. After comtemplating where the best place to take a closer look at it was, I walked into the bathroom.

Ensuring that the bathroom was completely deserted, I walked into one of the stalls, locked it, and took out the plastic bag that Jonghyun had given to me earlier that day from my pocket. I opened it for the first time, and I reached for the two round, black spongy pads sitting there. They were strategically curved, and were thinner around the edges.

"What were these even supposed to be in the first place?" I muttered in amusement as I took them out of the bag. I took a deep breath as I looked at them, then slipped them in between myself and my underwear so that they were on the seat of my pants. Then realizing how pathetic what I had just done was, I laughed out loud at myself.

"This is ridiculous," I said out loud with my face in my hand as I laughed.

"What is?"

I froze.

"Kyuhyun, I know it's you," I heard from outside the stall.

I stayed in the stall for another few seconds, wondering whether I should deny that I was myself. But then I realized that I would have to get out of the bathroom eventually, and so opened the stall. It was Ryeowook. What was he doing here?

I bowed awkwardly. "Hi, sunbaenim."

"Hi," he said. "What's going on?"

I covered my eyes with my hand. So much for pretending not to be rattled by anything. I couldn't tell him the truth without admitting that times were hard for me.

"Truthfully..." I started.

"By the way, you didn't flush," said Ryeowook.

"I didn't... go," I said. Ryeowook looked at me, then shook his head.

"So what's so ridiculous?" asked Ryeowook. I hesitated.

"Please keep it a secret, sunbaenim," I said. I wasn't too scared of Ryeowook, but I was concerned that if I were found out by anyone else, I would be in bigger trouble than ever. Ryeowook looked at me when I said this with a frown for a second, then made a face like he had an epiphany.

"You weren't... shooting up?" he said with wide eyes.

"What? No!" I shouted. Ryeowook waited. "I... I'm supposed to be getting a punishment at school today and I was... padding."

I expected Ryeowook to laugh at me, but his face became much more serious, and to my surprise, a frown formed on his face. With this atmosphere, I wasn't sure whether he thought it was a serious enough issue that he would tell the other members. I looked at him nervously.

"How long have you been doing this?" asked Ryeowook.

"I just got them this morning," I said, looking down.

Ryeowook looked at the ground also. There was a long silence.

"Honestly, I can't take it anymore," I said, looking straight at him and as soon as I said this, I felt anger surging inside my chest. "Since a I got on this damn team, it's basically been every day that I get hit. And I can't do it anymore."

There was another pause as I regretted my outburst.

"I have to go," said Ryeowook finally. He turned around.

"Wait," I said, touching his arm. "Sunbaenim... Please. Please keep it a secret."

Ryeowook looked at me for a while. "Okay," he said, and he left the washroom without another word.