There was a long silence.

It was only after this silence took place that I realized that Leeteuk was lying on his bed with rough pieces of paper and a pen in his hand; he was clearly preparing a script of some kind, presumably a variety show.

I stood frozen at the doorway, just staring at Leeteuk, then I started backing away.

"I - I'm so sorry," I stuttered, wiping away the tears welled up in my eyes. "I was just - just having a - a really hard time, and I didn't even - "

I looked at my feet, hating myself for my mistake, when Leeteuk shook his head. "It's okay," he mildly.

I looked up at him in disbelief. It - it is?

"I'm working right now, but I'll be done in - " he started, then he stopped. There was another brief silence, then he dropped the pen on the bed. "Yeah, we can talk," he said, then he got to his feet. Flustered, I started shaking my head vigorously.

"Sunbaenim, I - I don't mind waiting," I said hurriedly, then to my surprise, he smiled a little.

"It's okay. Let's go," he said, then he walked towards the door after picking up his phone from the bedside table.

I thought we would just go to the living room, maybe the kitchen table to talk, but Leeteuk went straight to the front door and grabbed his jacket. I hesitated a bit, wondering whether it was okay; after all, the manager hyung was here, and he would probably hear the front door open. If he knew that we were leaving the dorm without permission, he would without doubt punish all of us again.

Leeteuk saw me pause at the doorway, then he reached over to the coat rack and handed me my jacket.

"It'll be fine. We won't go far," he said.

I nodded uncertainly, but took my jacket from Leeteuk and put it on.

I guess the manager hyung didn't hear us leave. Or if he had heard us leave, he didn't try to stop us, or he didn't make downstairs on time to stop us. In any case, Leeteuk and I got downstairs without interruptions.

I thought we might be going to the river again, but we weren't; Leeteuk had taken a different turn on the streets and was heading out in the streets. I had my phone clutched tightly in my hand, just in case I would need to use it to call the manager hyung, but I sincerely hoped that I wouldn't have to. The amount of trouble we would be in was almost incomprehensible.

On the other hand, Leeteuk seemed a lot more assured and confident than I was; he'd apparently done this before, and probably a lot of times. I followed him in silence through the darkened streets until we reached a small eatery, the only place on the entire row of stores that was open.

Leeteuk pushed open the door as I followed stiffly. Leeteuk smiled his characteristic wide smile and greeted the old man at the counter with a bright, "Hello, sir!" and a bow. Flustered, I bowed as well, but I was too shy to be as bright as Leeteuk, so I stayed silent.

"Oh, hi, Jungsu, you're here again," said the old man with a smile. I looked around the dimly-lit diner. It was late, and the store was empty except a few older businessmen who were drinking. He looked at me and squinted a little. "You've brought someone new this time," he said. "I'm losing track, there are too many of you."

"I know, I have twelve dongsaengs I have to take care of." Leeteuk laughed and nodded. He then glanced at me and back at him. "This is the maknae, Kyuhyun."

"Hi," I said bashfully.

"Ah, I see," he said with a smile. "Nice to meet you."

When I responded with a barely-audible, "You, too," and a shy smile, he looked at Leeteuk.

"The same?"

"The same. Thank you," confirmed Leeteuk, then after thanking him once more, Leeteuk made his way into the eatery. He seemed to know where he was going; he opened the curtains to one of the closed booths and sat down. Soon, the old man was back with our food, and we thanked him.

It was a plate of spicy rice cakes, fried vegetables and a few fried dumplings between the two of us. It was a small plate, one serving at best, but I hesitated. We weren't allowed to eat anything past 8pm, and I'd followed that rule so religiously until now. But seeing the food in front of me, smelling it... was making my mouth water -

I picked up a dumpling with the chopsticks and bit down into it, savoring it. I closed my eyes to enjoy it to the fullest that I could; I hadn't had anything fried in so long. I swallowed, then opened my eyes to see a tender smile from Leeteuk. He was just watching me eat.

God, if the manager hyung saw what we were eating, he would probably have a heart attack and our hips would probably be bruised for the next century.

When I expressed this to Leeteuk, he laughed.

"We do have to treat ourselves sometimes. And I think both of us have worked hard enough in the last few weeks to deserve at least this."

I nodded in agreement and picked up a piece of fried vegetable, then I realized that I hadn't waited for Leeteuk to take the first bite. I froze abruptly and dropped the food back down on the plate.

"What's wrong?"

I flushed and looked down into my lap. "I'm so sorry, I just forgot - the formalities - "

God, why was I such a disaster today?

Leeteuk nodded. It probably had been bothering him, but he smiled the tiniest smile. "It's okay. Have more."

I sighed with relief that Leeteuk was ready to forgive me, but I didn't eat the next bite until Leeteuk had.

There was a small silence while we ate silently, then Leeteuk looked at me.

"So what did I do wrong this time?"

I was in the middle of swallowing and I almost choked, being so surprised. After coughing painfully a few times and a long drink of water, I looked at Leeteuk again. I'd given him the wrong idea.

"Nothing, sunbaenim, I just needed - to talk to someone - "

Leeteuk frowned. "You never just talk to me. Who do you usually talk to?"

I paused a bit. I didn't think anyone knew how much I relied on the manager hyung for emotional support, or the type of conversations that took place between us. "Seunghwan hyung," I murmured.

Leeteuk looked at me with a tiny frown, then nodded. "He's not speaking to you, either, is he?"

I shook my head. "It just - " I bit my lips to keep myself from crying, but it didn't work. Tears were rolling down my cheeks already. "It just reminds me of my dad, and when he stopped speaking to me. I - I really didn't want to experience that again." I sighed. "I can't believe it happened twice."

Leeteuk didn't say anything. He just looked at me, waiting for me to go on, and I did.

"My parents really didn't know how serious I was about this. They thought I entered that competition as a joke," I said with a forced smile, playing with the food on the plate. "I know you think I had it easy as a trainee, right? I know. Cho Kyuhyun, the spoiled brat. He lived with his parents, and they probably waited on him hand and foot," I bit my lip and closed my eyes. "It didn't really happen like that."

Leeteuk didn't urge me. He just waited.

I sighed, thinking back to those painful times. "Just before I started training at SM, I had screaming fights with my parents so that they'd let me train. Then when they let me, it was only when I promised that I'd study as hard as I could. Then when I really started training, we didn't speak to each other for the three months." I sighed, then continued. "I got out of the house before my parents were awake every single morning after I started training here, and I got back home after they were in bed, sunbaenim. Every single day for the three months that I trained here."

"Why didn't you just move out? You were offered a place in the dorms, weren't you?" asked Leeteuk.

I smiled a little. "I thought I might never see them again if I moved out while I was still on bad terms with my parents." I looked at my hands in my lap. "It happened anyway."

I felt a lump come up to my throat, and I swallowed. "The last time I spoke to them was to ask them to sign papers that would transfer guardianship to the manager hyung," I whispered. "And we didn't say anything - anything else to each other."

"I'm so sorry," whispered Leeteuk. I shook my head. Leeteuk had nothing to be sorry about.

"They never knew I'd disappoint them like this. A singer in a family of educators. Unacceptable, you know?" I sighed.

I wiped my eyes with the napkin on the table and sighed, but then soon smiled. "You know, the manager hyung means so much to me because - because there was a time when no one wanted me to do this. Literally everyone I knew wanted me to stop. My parents, everyone on the team, the fans... even myself. The manager hyung was the one - the one person that kept me going." I gave a small laugh to keep myself from feeling so miserable. "It was only because of him that I stayed. And then he - he listened, he understood, he advised, he scolded... just like my dad used to before he found out. And now - " I took a deep breath, then the tears fell. I stopped speaking just to wipe the tears, then Leeteuk spoke.

"Seunghwan hyung's doing this because he wants us to be a team," he said quietly. "I've known him since I was put in that project group that got scrapped. He really just wants us to be our best."

I nodded. I wasn't sure what not speaking to me was supposed to achieve except make me even more miserable than I already was, but Leeteuk was probably right. The manager hyung probably had a plan. He always had a plan.

I sighed, then I picked up the crinkled envelope that I had set down on the table after clutching it in my hand since the manager hyung had ordered me to go to bed until we got here. The note that I'd been writing for them was still there. I thought I might be able to say something different, but it was just the same. Just that I was sorry that it wasn't much, and that I'd come home when I was proud of myself.

"I think I tried making peace with my parents too late," I said quietly. "I only started doing this last month, when things finally lightened up for me."

"What, giving them money?"

I nodded, then sighed. "I'm not even giving them my whole pay, just half."

Leeteuk looked at me and smiled a little. "Kyuhyun, it's not money your parents want."

I looked at him. "I know, but what - what else do I have to give them?"

"You didn't give them the U album, did you?"

I stared at him for a second, then looked back down at the food. "I - I don't think they'd be too happy if I reminded them what I've done," I whispered.

There was a silence, then Leeteuk reached across the table and put his hand on mine.

"I think they forgave you and started supporting you when they let you start training, and maybe even more so when they gave guardianship over to the manager hyung," said Leeteuk, looking into my eyes. "It can't be easy, signing over your son to be taken care of by someone else."

I sighed. "I think they had given up on me at that point."

"Then they wouldn't have insisted that you study so hard when you started training."

I stared at him. "So - "

"It's you that hasn't made the step forward, Kyuhyun, not your parents."

I looked at him, processing his words.

"But I told them I'd come home when I was proud of myself. I - I'm not yet," I said. "I haven't done anything."

At this, Leeteuk frowned. "I know you've accomplished a lot, in terms of the team. And I saw the practice test you did last night this morning. You left it on the kitchen table. I know it's enough to get you to a really good school." He paused a little. "So tell me if you're proud of yourself."

Had I really accomplished so much? Sure, I'd debuted. But so had hundreds of other people before me.

Then a voice of reason rang through my head. But I debuted after only three months of training. It happened because I was good enough. Wasn't that something to be proud of?

I shook my head without even knowing it. No, that was nothing, I had to work so much harder to catch up.

As I closed my eyes, the voice spoke again in my head. I might not be the best dancer, but I'm one of the three best singers. And, I got the first solo song of the team. And yeah, I made a mistake. But I was still proud of the product.

I let out a small chuckle that must have seemed strange to Leeteuk.

And look at who's sitting across from me, offering me advice. The leader himself, who used to hate me so much. But look at us now.

I did enough to have them accept me.

I tried hard enough.

I was good enough.

I'd endured enough.

God, I was so, so proud of myself.

For going through everything they put me through. For getting acceptance back from the same guys that started out hating me.

I looked at him with tears brimmed around my eyes, then gave him a tiny nod. "I'm proud of myself," I whispered.

Leeteuk smiled.

"Then you should go home."

I bit my lip. I'd missed my chance. I'd used that day off for just going around the city with Jonghyun.

I sighed. "I don't know when the next time I have a day off might be. It might not be until the new year."

"We only have practice tomorrow. You have time."

"Tomorrow? I mean - later today?"

Leeteuk nodded.

"There's no way the manager hyung would let me," I said with an incredulous laugh.

"Donghae's done this before, you remember."

I stared at him. "Yes, but the manager hyung wasn't being as harsh back then as he is now. Plus, he wasn't inconveniencing the whole team, just - "

"So you could ask the team if it's okay," he said.

I hesitated. I wasn't sure if I could let them be beaten, probably very harshly, because of me being selfish. However, before I could say anything, Leeteuk got up from the table. "I have a few extra U albums, and you have the new K.R.Y. album already, right?"

"I do, but - " I stopped.

God, I cared about the team so much, but I so wanted to see my parents.

 "Okay," I said finally. "I'll go, but only if every single person agrees."

Leeteuk nodded and walked out of the booth without saying anything else. I followed him out, and he stood at the counter to pay for the food. I saw him reach into his pockets for his wallet, and I tapped him on the shoulder.

"Wait, I'll pay for it," I said, pulling open the envelope that I had in my hand.

"No, I'm the hyung," said Leeteuk, looking into my eyes. Then he pulled out his wallet from his pocket and paid for the half-uneaten food before leaving the diner with a bright smile and a bow again.

We walked back in silence for about half the way, then I looked at Leeteuk. "Thank you so much for everything tonight," I said softly. I hoped he understood.

Understood how much help it was.

"It's okay," said Leeteuk.

I looked at my feet again as we walked, then Leeteuk glanced at me.

"Kyuhyun," he said.

I looked at him, but he didn't say anything. There was a small silence, then Leeteuk called my name again. "Kyuhyun."

"Yeah," I said.

There was another pause, then Leeteuk repeated, "Kyuhyun."

"Yes, sunbaenim," I said, perplexed.

Leeteuk looked at me, and to my confusion, I saw what almost looked like disappointment in his eyes.

"Nothing," he said, then he put his hands in his pocket again and walked the rest of the way without looking at me.

When we got back to the dorm, it was quiet as a tomb; everyone else was sleeping already. I was about to go into Sungmin and Donghae's room to pack up my bag to go home, but Leeteuk stopped me.

"Hey, come here," he said, and he went into his room. I followed him inside, where Ryeowook was asleep. Leeteuk then dug through a pile of objects between the beds and pulled out a brand new U album. He held it out for me to take, but then stopped himself. I was in the middle of trying to take it from him, but stopped awkwardly as he pulled it away again.

He then ripped open the plastic wrapping and grabbed the pen that he was writing his script with before I interrupted him, and found his own picture within the pages and started writing.

After a short paragraph or so, I saw him sign the page, then he handed it to me with the pen.

"Have everyone write a short something," he said. I took both from him, and I felt my eyes well up again.

"Thank you so much," I whispered. Leeteuk nodded, then he started gently tapping Ryeowook awake so that he could write and sign the album.