It took me twenty minutes to return to the dorm without Leeteuk's help. As soon as I stepped inside the dorm, I could feel the food that I had just eaten coming up; my stomach was rejecting it after all. I rushed to the bathroom to bend my head over the toilet bowl. I threw up all I had just eaten, and with a shaking hand, flushed the toilet. I felt exhausted after throwing up, and the pain in my stomach had returned.

I slowly started rinsing out my mouth. But I had to eat. I had a full day of work in front of me, and I was too weak to perform. After I had cleaned myself off sufficiently, I made my way to the darkened kitchen and pulled open the fridge. I saw orange juice in the door, and pulled it out of the fridge. I guessed I would start with this. I just drank out of the carton without bothering with a glass out of desperation. However, within a few minutes, I felt that coming up too, and I rushed to the bathroom to throw it up.

I almost thought about continuing to starve myself; I felt that vomiting took more energy than not eating at all. I took a deep breath after I cleaned myself up again. I took a few steps toward my room, but then I shook my head and moved into the kitchen again. I had to find a way to keep the food down.

I opened the rice cooker to see the cold rice still sitting there from dinner, and I scooped some of it up in a bowl. Without bothering with the side dishes, I started eating. I was halfway through the bowl when I felt my stomach heave. I rushed to the bathroom for the third time, where I knelt in front of the toilet bowl again. My stomach was being especially adamant this time; it took me especially long to stop retching.

"Damn it," I muttered, and I brought my fist down on the toilet seat in frustration and exasperation. I wiped off the corners of my mouth with the toilet paper, and I stood on my weak legs to clean myself off when I saw that Leeteuk, finally back from the river, was standing at the doorway. I was embarrassed to have had such an outburst for a second, but then I bowed.

"Sorry," I said, avoiding his eyes and covering my mouth with the back of my hand. "I couldn't keep all of it down."

Leeteuk looked troubled. "Come into the kitchen when you're ready," he said.

"Y - yes, sunbaenim," I stammered, then I turned my back on him to face the bathroom sink as he left the bathroom.

After several minutes, I went into the kitchen as told by Leeteuk, who was standing by the stove. It was the first time I'd seen him near the stove.

"I'm calling manager hyung and taking you to the hospital if this doesn't work," said Leeteuk, not turning around. I was unsure of what he was doing, so I dragged myself towards the stove as well. To my surprise, he was cooking for the first time I had seen him. He had started making what looked like porridge.

"Sunbaenim, I'll do it," I said, taking the wooden spoon his hand. Leeteuk let me take it, and sat down at the kitchen table. I stirred for a few seconds, then reached for a glass of water. Not only was I feeling thirsty after vomiting so much, but water also seemed to be the only thing that my stomach was taking, so maybe it would be possible to prime my stomach for food with water. As I was drinking, Leeteuk got up and took the glass away from me.

"Don't drink too much water. You're washing the stomach acid down," said Leeteuk, emptying the water from the glass into the sink. I hadn't thought that far.

"Yes, sunbaenim," I answered, then I took the empty glass from Leeteuk's hand to rinse it.

"Have you tried the orange juce in the fridge?" he asked. I nodded.

"It didn't work," I said, looking at my feet.

"Try it again. Slowly," said Leeteuk, and he opened the fridge to hand me the carton again. "I want you to take the carton away from your mouth with every sip."

I did as I was told, and surprisingly, it worked; after about 20 sips, my stomach still wasn't rejecting it. "I think it's taking it," I said with a small smile.

"Good," said Leeteuk, looking relieved. He sat back down at the kitchen table and I continued drinking when I smelled something burning. I turned my head to look at the stove, then finally remembered Leeteuk's porridge.

"Oh, no," I said, looking at the pot. I set the carton down on the counter and quickly took the pot off the fire, but the bottom third of the porridge was already burned and stuck to the bottom of the pot. I couldn't believe that I'd had yet another cooking disaster, especially since I didn't even do any of the cooking this time. As I tried scraping off the porridge from the bottom of the pot, I felt a hand take the wooden spoon from my hands.

"Go sit down," said Leeteuk with a small frown. "I can't trust you with anything."

I put my hand on my aching forehead. "Sorry," I murmured. "I didn't mean - "

"Sit down," he ordered, and I reluctantly took the seat.

At that moment, the front door opened, and Heechul walked into the dorm. I got my exhausted body up from the table with difficulty and bowed. He glanced at Leeteuk cooking, then frowned as I sat back down with my aching head in my hands.

"Hey, Heechul," said Leeteuk with a smile. "How was the drama shoot?"

Heechul ignored his question, and turned to me instead. "Hey, maknae, isn't this too much? The leader hyung is cooking and you're just sitting there watching?" said Heechul, looking extremely displeased. I was taken aback for a second, then I got up.

"You're right, sunbaenim. I'm so sorry," I murmured, then I made my way to Leeteuk's side and took the spoon from him again when Heechul spoke again in clear anger.

"You impertinent little thing. You've forgotten all respect whatsoever, haven't you? You really deserve to be beaten, that seems to be the only way you come to your senses."

I turned around to face Heechul in fear, then I bowed. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"If you're going to be so tired that you can't fulfill your responsibilities as maknae, then those stunts you've been pulling - "

"Hey, you should go to bed. We have to get up in three hours. Plus, we have practice for the weekend performances until late into the night," said Leeteuk, looking at Heechul.

"I can't make it," said Heechul, still glaring at me as I bowed again and hung my head. "I'm having dinner with the sitcom crew."

Leeteuk's expression hardened as he faced Heechul. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" he demanded quietly.

"It's not like it makes a difference whether I tell you or not," said Heechul, finally taking his eyes off me to look at Leeteuk.

"We've had this discussion, Heechul. You should only be missing practice if you're filming or script reading. Dinner? That's pushing it too far."

"Park Jungsu, I have obligations as an actor too. And I don't know what's gotten into you, letting the kid be so disrespectful," said Heechul with a mocking disbelief on his face.

"Heechul, come on. It's not right skipping practices for dinner, and you know it," said Leeteuk sternly. Heechul merely rolled his eyes and gave his most unconcerned, cocky smile.

"Whatever. I've known the choreography inside out for a month. I don't know why you even bother practicing anymore."

Leeteuk just stared at him. "You know we have to perform the abridged version starting this week, right? Do you even know which parts were cut?" Heechul's smile finally slid off his face, only to be replaced by genuine annoyance.

"I know what I'm doing. You're freaking unbelievable," said Heechul, shaking his head.

"Look, I wasn't going to bring this up, but you made a major mistake on one of the performances earlier today. Don't think I didn't see."

Leeteuk seemed to have touched a nerve; Heechul just looked at Leeteuk in the eyes for several seconds before finally speaking.

"Damn it, Park Jungsu. That was a fluke."

"No one else had fluky mistakes, Heechul! You've been missing rehearsal for weeks and weeks, and it's all coming back to you! Now think about the team!" said Leeteuk hotly.

"It's not worth even talking to you," muttered Heechul, and he looked away from Leeteuk, then his eyes lingered on me. "Get ready to take the punishment tomorrow," said Heechul. And with this, I felt my stomach tighten with nervousness, and to my horror, I felt the orange juice that I had just managed to get down come back up. Without even apologizing or bowing, I put my hand over my mouth and ran past Heechul into the bathroom, who grabbed my shoulder and turned me around as I rushed past him.

"Where do you think you're going?" demanded Heechul. I didn't answer; I just shrugged his hand off my shoulder and rushed to the bathroom to throw up the orange juice into the toilet bowl. I felt my knees giving way, and I sat down in front of the toilet and groaned with my eyes closed. How was I supposed to be strong enough to perform tomorrow?

"DAMN IT, KIM HEECHUL! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET THAT TO GO DOWN?" screamed Leeteuk from the living room; he apparently heard me retch. "WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO THREATEN A KID WHO'S SO SICK THAT HE'S ABOUT TO COLLAPSE?"

"I don't care. He deserves what he deserves. I don't care if he collapses tomorrow. He still deserves to get it, and he's going to," said Heechul. Hearing this, my stomach heaved again and I retched for the second time. Nothing came up, but I was even more drained than before.

There was a silence in the living room, then Leeteuk spoke in a chilling tone that I'd ever only heard him use with me.

"Hey, you apparently had a bad day. You're always taking out your anger on other people. If this is between Kyuhyun and me, you don't need to be involved."

"Are you trying to prove a point? You're so pissed off that I'm missing rehearsal that you'd rather be on the kid's side?" shouted Heechul.

At this, Leeteuk also lost his cool. I heard him hit the wall with his hand, then he spoke with a raised voice. "No, damn it! He's puking up every damn thing he's eating because of me. I have the responsibility to fix this."

Heechul snarled. "Fine. You're the one the kid is walking all over, not me. I'm going to bed."

"Kim Heechul."

Heechul ignored  Leeteuk, stomped into his room and slammed the door. I came out of the bathroom with the wall as support, slightly bent over to make my stomach a bit more comfortable, in time to see Leeteuk sigh and turn his attention to the porridge again. I moved closer towards him and tried to take the wooden spoon from Leeteuk. However, he drew it away from my reach.

"Go sit down," he said again.

"Sunbaenim - he's right. This really is my responsibility," I said, reaching for it again. Leeteuk shook his head.

"No, I'm not bothering with the porridge. You can't have thrown up this many times and expect anything to go down anymore. I'm calling manager hyung to take you to the hospital."

*Author's note: Ugh, it's so hard to write a scene like this after I've sensored all the words... *sigh* There's such a narrow choice of words to use... Feel free to replace the repetitive non-cursing with your favourite swear words for full effect :)