The dance practice was scheduled to run for 5 hours, until 9pm. The instructors left at the time, assured that each of us knew all of the choreography. Without fail, I was the last one to learn it - it had taken me the full 5 hours to learn the basic choreography and formation. However, none of the guys made any move to leave after the 5 hours, so I stayed put as well. I was still in my school uniform, and I had sweated through both my undershirt and the shirt that I was wearing. I had brought a few changes of t-shirts, but I was acting carefully around the other members, and didn't feel comfortable changing while we were working with the instructors. This feeling was heightened by the fact that I had been late to practice, and that I struggled with the choreography.

When the dance instructors left, everyone sat down on the floor to take a short break, and I was finally able to change into my spare shirt, and breathed a sigh of relief.

I sat down on the floor but as soon as I did so, I heard someone say, "hey, maknae, get us some drinks." I turned around and looked, but I wasn't sure who spoke. I guess it didn't matter.

"Just water?" I asked. A thought to protest didn't even cross my mind.

"You should know that we shouldn't be drinking anything else," said Heechul. I guessed he was the one to order the drinks.

"All right," I said, in honorifics, and got up with a rather loud involuntary grunt, then I regretted that I didn't consciously stop myself from making a sound.

"Hey. Are you unhappy?" asked Leeteuk quietly with a frown. I froze. What was I supposed to say? I was obviously unhappy that I wasn't resting and doing errands instead.

"No," I lied quietly, my expression still frozen with unhappiness and the fear that I was doing something wrong again.

"Then do it without ruining the atmosphere," said Leeteuk. I stayed silent and looked at the floor, but I was thinking in my head that Leeteuk was the one to ruin the atmosphere - anyone else would have ignored the grunt.

I stayed frozen with my hands on my hips, my eyes on the floor.

"Go get them," said Heechul with a glare. I bowed a little from my neck and turned around to leave the room. I was afraid of what they might say once I left the room, but I opened the door and walked out into the hallway.

I went to the water cooler and picked up a few water bottles. I contemplated a bit about how I was supposed to carry 12 water bottles, and then decided to just scoop them up in my arms. I was successful in carrying them down the hallway to the room, but then realized that I couldn't open the door. I was hoping someone would help me in by opening the door if I made enough noise at the door and so started banging the door with my back, but no one let me in. I sighed and with difficulty, pushed the handle down with my elbow and pushed. As I did so and got my body halfway in the room, a few water bottles toppled out of my arms. I reacted by bending over to somehow pick them up, and a few more fell to the ground. Realizing that what I wanted wasn't going to happen, I crouched down and gently put down the water bottles that still remained in my arms on the ground next to the door, which I was keeping open with my foot. I then picked up the water bottles that had fallen to the ground.

I stole a glance at Leeteuk, and he looked away, clearly displeased.

"Sorry," I said. It seemed that everything I ever said to Super Junior was 'sorry'. I picked up the water bottles and started distributing them to everyone. No one thanked me. Of course, I hadn't brought one for myself to minimize the load, so I just sat back down on the floor with my head down. I was obviously just as thirsty, but I didn't think the members would approve of me going back outside for a drink for myself. A few seconds later, I heard a "Kyuhyun". I looked up, and Ryeowook re-capped his half-empty water bottle, his mouth still full with water, and threw it to me. I caught it, but I wasn't sure what to do with it.

"You can have it," he said after swallowing, seeing my confused expression. I hid a gratified smile.

"Thanks," I said. I uncapped it and finished it. Everyone else had finished their water and most of them had laid down on the floor before the practice started up again. No one even had energy to talk, so we all just sat there in silence. In 5 short minutes, Leeteuk got up.

"Let's get cleaned up and started again," he said. A few of us groaned, but then everyone got to their feet. No one made a move to pick up the empty water bottles strewned everywhere across the floor - a few of them gave me meaningful glances, and I took that as an order to clean. I dragged my tired body around, collecting the empty water bottles from the floor and threw them into the trash can, which quickly filled.

The dance practice was uneventful for about two more hours, then Leeteuk yelled at me for not putting in maximal effort, threatening me with punishment. I had felt hurt; I was dancing for seven straight hours without any sleep the night before or dinner today - all after a full day of school. However, there was not much point in arguing. I had apologized with a "Sorry, I'll do better" and the incident had folded without becoming a big deal.

The member that I was most disappointed with was Leeteuk. I had expected a certain amount of hostility from the members and I did expect a certain amount of bullying, me being the newcomer and the youngest. However, I had thought Leeteuk, being the most mature and the leader, to help the others welcome me into the family. In reality, Leeteuk seemed to be the one to spearhead the bullying. He gave off an air of genuine hatred around me, and seemed to seek ways to make my life as miserable as possible. Three more hours after the small incident, at 2am, the dance practice ended with Leeteuk finally nodding with approval.

"We'll polish up everything over the next few days until the music video. We get Mr. Lee Sooman's approval in two days. We need to get this perfect," he said after lining us up. We agreed, tired, and Leeteuk seemed pleased enough. After speaking to the managers to come pick us up, he hung up the phone.

"They said half an hour," said Leeteuk. "Let's go to the lounge and get some rest - Kyuhyun, you clean the practice room in the meanwhile." He gave me half a glance as he said this.

I couldn't believe my ears. How, in what world, was this fair? What was it that I had done wrong?

I literally had to bite my tongue to keep myself from expressing this sentiment. Before I could even respond, everyone else had left the practice room, leaving me alone in it.