I finally dragged myself into my room after two more hours of studying, but everyone else was already waking up, excited for the trip. When I walked into my room, Donghae was already up and getting dressed.

"Kyuhyun, you look terrible," he said, glancing at me.

"I'm okay," I said, but I barely even made it to the corner of the room that I slept in before I fell asleep.

Sungmin awoke me in an hour, but I couldn't open my eyes. My entire body was sore and aching without even moving from so much dancing, and as much as I tried to go on minimal sleep, waking up had never been so hard.

"Aren't you even excited? We're going to Malaysia," said Sungmin with a wide smile.

"We're not going on vacation, it's work," I said, turning over to turn my back on him.

"You've never been on these trips, I guess. But they're really fun," Sungmin said. He shook me awake. "It's basically like a vacation."

"When do we leave?" I asked. I rubbed my eyes.

"In an hour," he said. "Get ready."

I yawned and finally sat up. "Ugh, my back," I groaned, rubbing my sore back.

"Do you need a massage? I learned to do it properly at a sports medicine clinic one time when I was learning martial arts," asked Sungmin. I squinted at him.

"No. If one of the older hyungs catches me getting a massage from you, I won't survive," I said, then I continued rubbing my own back before I finally got to my feet. "Thanks anyway."

I got dressed and stumbled into the living room, expecting a quiet breakfast like every other day, but it was already chaotic with the managers carrying luggage downstairs to load and members shouting for things that they couldn't find. I collected the books that I had left on the kitchen table overnight and somehow got all of my textbook and notebooks I needed for all of my exams in my backpack, and slung it over my shoulders.

I pulled my suitcase to the front door as the manager hyung was stepping inside. "Oh, Kyuhyun, you're up. Give me your suitcase, I'm loading everything on the bus," he said.

"I can carry it downstairs, hyung. It's heavy," I said. Then I realized that what I said didn't make any sense, then I shook my head with my eyes squeezed closed. "I mean, it's not heavy."

"Just give it to me," he said. He took the suitcase from my hand, then he looked at me up and down. "Are you wearing what the coordinators set out for you?"

"Huh?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. "No, I just got dressed out of my closet," I said. The manager hyung laughed.

"They brought airport clothes over, since you guys are going to get photographed. Your clothes should be in the living room," he said.

"Oh, okay," I said, then I turned around to go into the living room to change.

"Don't forget your travel papers," called the manager hyung.

"Okay," I mumbled, then I got re-dressed in the clothes that I was supposed to.

We traveled about an hour by bus to Incheon International Airport, and I studied the entire way there, which finally woke me up. When we arrived at the airport, the manager hyung looked at me. "Just pick a hyung on the team and follow him around," he said. I nodded and smiled.

"I think I can do that," I said. He nodded and led us inside the airport.

There were some cell phone cameras around, but not much else; there was no crowd or anything even close. I followed the manager hyung to the check-in counter, then he turned around and looked at me.

"Kyuhyun, I said, pick a hyung. I didn't mean me," he said. Flustered, I turned around to see that the rest of the team had been whisked away by security guards.

"Oh," I said, embarrassed and flushing. "Um, I'm so sorry," I said. "Do I go and - rejoin them - or - "

The manager hyung took me by my shoulder and walked me to the rest of the team. "You don't have to do the check-in here. They give you a private room to do that," he explained.

"Oh, okay," I said, feeling sillier and sillier by the minute. Once we had caught up to the team, the manager hyung squeezed my shoulder.

"Follow a hyung around," he said again. I just nodded and keeping my eyes on the team this time, let the manager hyung leave.

We were taken to a closed room with couches in it to wait in. Ryeowook and I sat next to each other on a couch; I took my textbook out of my bag and started reading it again while Ryeowook started talking to no one about how excited he was to go on the trip. Soon, the managers came into the room with the tickets. We all looked at them while they got our attention by waving. The manager hyung waited until we were silent, then he spoke.

"Guys, I'm really sorry, but there were only 12 business class seats," said the manager hyung. There was silence, then the manager hyung clarified. "There are 13 of you," he added unnecessarily.

There was another silence while everyone just looked at each other; I saw a few meaningful looks directed at me, then I spoke. "I'll fly economy," I said.

"Yeah, the maknae - " said several people around the room.

I sighed and nodded. It didn't even seem unfair anymore.

"Okay, then Kyuhyun - " said the manager hyung, then he handed me a ticket. I took it and without looking at it, slipped it between the pages of my passport.

I was separated with the rest of the team as we boarded the plane. "Bye," I said weakly to Ryeowook. I got a glimpse of the sleeper seats of the business class cabins as I was led into the economy cabin with the narrow seats with the plastic drop-down trays. The manager hyung sat next to me, and I stowed my bag in the luggage compartment overhead after taking out the textbook that I was planning on reading for the flight.

"How long is the flight again?" I asked the manager hyung.

"Six and a half," he said. I suppressed a sigh and nodded. I tried to remind myself that the manager hyung and the staff were flying economy as well; it wasn't like I was any more special than they were.

I opened up my book again when the manager hyung tapped my arm. "Kyuhyun, can you please sleep? I'm worried about you."

"I'll be fine," I said, then turned my attention to the textbook again.

"Kyuhyun, if you happen to - collapse - or something on the trip - "

"I won't, hyung. I'm fine," I said.

"But going the entire week on ten hours of sleep is a bit worrying."

"Hyung, you're starting to make me really wish I was in the business cabin, away from you," I said through gritted teeth. The manager hyung finally stopped talking and let me alone to study.

Halfway through the trip, Ryeowook found us in our economy seats.

"Hyung, Kyuhyun - " he said, then he held out two glasses of wine with a shy smile.

"Aw, thanks," said the manager hyung, taking a glass with a laugh, but I frowned in genuine annoyance. What was he playing at? Was he showing off what the rest of the team has that I don't?

"Ryeowook, are you trying to make fun of me or something?" I asked, staring into Ryeowook's eyes coldly and not even glancing at the glass that Ryeowook was holding out in front of me.

"What?" asked Ryeowook, flustered.

"Are you trying to rub it in?" I whispered angrily.

"No, Kyuhyun, why are you - " started Ryeowook.

"Go away, and take your damn wine with you," I said, then after a glare, I looked at my textbook again as Ryeowook just stood there for a few seconds, then retreated back into the business cabin with the glass that he had planned to give to me. I ignored him and continued reading my textbook, but the manager hyung took the book from my hand as soon as Ryeowook was out of sight, and slapped it closed. I glared at him.

"What?" I snapped.

"Kyuhyun, he was just thinking of you," said the manager hyung mildly, still holding my book. I clenched my teeth and snatched it back out of his hand.

"Leave me alone. Please. What's between me and Ryeowook is between me and him," I said, then I tried to find my page again.

"Kyuhyun, the lack of sleep is making you irritable. It's not fair that you're doing this at the expense of everyone else," he said.

"Then maybe you could have given me the choreography a bit earlier so I wouldn't have to cram for either the choreography or the exams," I said, trying not to raise my voice. The manager hyung finally looked angry.

"Jinsoo was right last night. Maybe I shouldn't be so lenient with you," said the manager hyung with a sigh. "Kyuhyun, you're not yourself right now. There are three hours left in the flight. Can you just try to sleep in those three hours for me?"

I sighed, and letting the manager hyung take my book, I put my head back on the headrest. I closed my eyes and as soon as the anger subsided, I was asleep.

The manager hyung woke me up during the last ten minutes of the flight, and I opened my eyes groggily.

"How're you feeling?" he asked. I just looked at him, trying to wake up.

"My neck hurts," I said, still staring into his eyes. The manager hyung looked at me and chuckled.

"Come round, please. You're going to have cameras shoved in your face in a few minutes," he said. I nodded and rubbed my eyes. I looked in the general direction of the manager hyung, and saw the still-full wine glass on the manager hyung's drop-down tray. I looked at the manager hyung.

"Can I have your wine?" I asked. I reached for the glass, but the manager hyung whisked it away before I could reach it.

"You should have let Ryeowook give you yours," he said, then without looking at me, he downed the entire glass in one go.

"Fine," I said, then I turned my head away, regretting my outburst at Ryeowook.

"Ryeowook was just trying to be nice, right?" he asked. I sighed.

"I guess," I said.

"Then apologize to him before we leave the gates," asked the manager hyung. I hesitated, but what Ryeowook did was the most anyone should be expecting in this situation.

"Yes, sir," I murmured, then I looked out the window as the plane landed.

We were finally reunited with the team at the luggage pick-up, where we piled our luggage onto a large cart that would be pushed by one of the managers. As we finished, I tapped Ryeowook on the arm, who turned around and looked at me coldly.

"Look, I'm really sorry about earlier. I know you were just trying to make things better for me. I just haven't slept in a while and I was - "

Ryeowook glared at me. "Don't try to blame it on sleep."

I looked at him with sad eyes. I guess I really couldn't expect him to forgive me; I really was horrible to him. "I'm so sorry," I whispered with my head down. "Please forgive me, Ryeowook."

Ryeowook sighed, but soon nodded. "It's okay," he said, then he squeezed my shoulders as we reached the gates. "Don't be too scared."

"Of what?" I asked, but then the gates opened, revealing a massive crowd with a narrow path that we were supposed to walk through.

I was not afraid of the crowd, but I felt more uncomfortable than anything. It was still true that these fans would prefer that I wasn't on the team, and even after weeks of performing confidently on stage, I couldn't meet any of their eyes. I didn't feel anything to these fans except sorry that I was on the team against their wishes.

We started walking through the path, escorted by security guards. I saw the hyungs start to confidently smile and wave to the crowd and starting to enjoy themselves, but for me, but the short walk to the bus that would take us to the hotel seemed to be miles long; it never seemed to end. I probably would have given anything to get out of there. The only thing I could do was latch onto Ryeowook's shoulders with my head down as if I had done something wrong. Ryeowook was waving to the crowd with occasional bows, but when he felt my hands on him, he gave me a tiny glance.

"At least smile," he said, trying to shrug my hands off his shoulders.

"It's not me they've come here to see," I muttered into his ear, my hands still tightly holding on his shoulders and my gaze on the ground.

"That girl has," said Ryeowook, pointing surreptitiously. I finally looked up and at where he was pointing; there was a girl holding a placard with my name on it.

"How did you find the one placard with my name on it in this entire crowd?"

Ryeowook ignored me. "Smile and wave to her at least," he said.

Wondering whether I would come across as rude, I finally looked up and into her eyes. I smiled unconfidently and took one hand off of Ryeowook's shoulder to give a tiny wave, and she squealed and turned to her friend next to her.

"See? You've made her day," said Ryeowook, continuing to wave at his fans as we finally reached the end of the path. I didn't answer and sighing a deep breath of relief, I finally got on the bus to head to the hotel.