Chp 51

Kyuhyun... It's been hard on you.

I had countless second thoughts about whether it was really myself at fault and whether I should really be the one to be cleaning the living room; it was probably these thoughts that slowed me down so much. I repeatedly picked up a few items off the ground, then placed them back on the floor, convinced that it wasn't my mess to clean, only to pick them back up. It took me an hour and a half for me to finish cleaning, and when I finally dragged my tired and sore body into my room, I was so tired that I was asleep even before I even realized that was I lying on the floor.

 

 

Just two hours later, Ryeowook was shaking me awake. I tried to get myself up, but I was so tired that I couldn't open my eyes.

"Ryeowook, can you wake me up after breakfast?" I asked, my hand over my eyes.

"No, you have to eat. You'd only be sleeping an extra half an hour anyway," said Ryeowook.

"I really need the extra half hour of sleep," I said, turning my back on Ryeowook.

"Okay, fine," said Ryeowook, patting my back. "I'll be back in half an hour."

A few minutes later though, I was almost asleep again when I heard someone yell from the living room.

"Cho Kyuhyun, come out here!"

What, I'm not allowed to skip breakfast? I ignored it and closed my eyes again.

"Cho Kyuhyun!"

Annoyance preceded everything else, but then another thought entered my mind. Was I in trouble? I groaned and sat up on my knees, and stayed in that position with my face buried in my hands for a few seconds.

"Cho Kyuhyun, right now!"

"Okay, okay," I muttered under my breath. I exhaled, got to my feet and walked out into the living room.

The other members were all sitting on the floor or the couch, waiting for me to come out of my room. I rubbed to my eyes to wake myself up before bowing. I was unsure whether I was supposed to sit down or not, and so hesitated when Heechul said, "Just stand there."

Apparently I was in trouble after all.

I stood facing them with my hands together and head down. What the hell did I do?

"Do you understand what you did wrong that day now?" asked Leeteuk coldly.

I looked up, extremely confused for a second, and then I realized that Leeteuk was talking about the fact that I had cleaned the living room overnight. No, damn it. I didn't do anything wrong.

I almost said it out loud, but then thought back to my conversation with Donghae on the train. Leeteuk just thought I was spoiled and rude. Whatever you do, don't talk back.

"Yes," I said curtly.

Leeteuk looked displeased for a second at my short response, then spoke. "Then shouldn't you be apologizing to Kangin?"

I stiffened. I hadn't even accepted Kangin's apology for that night, and I had to be the one to apologize to him now? I didn't say anything for a few seconds. I remembered what I had thought to convince myself to clean the living room last night, then after a bit, looked up and looked straight at Kangin.

"Sorry," I said, swallowing all of the pride I ever had. Kangin looked at me as my face flushed.

"For what?" asked Kangin.

I opened my mouth to speak, but then I realized that I wasn't sure. Why was I sorry?

"Um..." I said, looking at my feet. Was it because I didn't accept his apology the other night? But then Leeteuk wouldn't know about that. For talking back? But then I wouldn't be apologizing to just Kangin. For not cleaning sooner? For refusing to clean in the first place? For crying that night and ruining their party?

"F... for - for everything," I said, my head down. I was afraid that he would make me specify, but fortunately, he was pleased enough. He nodded and everyone looked away from me. Taking this as dismissal, I bowed again and turned around to go back to my room.

 

 

I didn't understand at the time that they didn't want me to apologize because they thought I was in the wrong. It was Donghae who told me later that day that it was their way of asking me whether I had forgiven them. Apparently, by apologizing, I had.

"Why didn't they just make an apology and wait for me to accept it?" I asked bitterly.

"Apologizing to a junior is just not what you do. I thought you'd know the industry well enough by now," said Donghae.

"I've done it several times," I said, thinking of Jonghyun and the junior that I had scolded the other day.

"Well, you clearly still don't know the industry," said Donghae, and the conversation had ended there.

 

 

From that time on, everything went back to normal. The members stopped avoiding me and started to treat me like they used to again. Leeteuk was cold as always, and Kangin ordered me around freely again. The only thing that changed was that I did absolutely everything they asked without questioning it. However, I found everything to be a lot easier than before. I felt much less resentment towards the members, remembering that they had gone through at least as much as I had. At that point, I was almost sure that I was going to remain on the team.

I kept out of trouble until after the music performances on the Sunday. After an extremely long day, half of us returned to the dorm while the other half went to appear on a radio show as guests. We were sprawled out in the living room, watching a movie, when Leeteuk announced, "I'm hungry."

"Maknae, make some ramen," ordered Kangin, his eyes fixed on the TV.

It was the first time that I hesitated at a command since the day that I got back from Mokpo. Not only did I hate leaving in the middle of movies, but I also hadn't been in the kitchen to cook since the disasterous breakfast attempt a month ago, and I didn't trust myself to cook good ramen.

"Um, do you think you can wait until Ryeowook gets back from his radio appearance?" I asked cautiously.

"Are you talking back again?" asked Leeteuk, frowning.

I paused again. "No. Sorry. I'll do it," I said, getting to my feet and reluctantly taking my eyes off the movie.

I made my way into the kitchen and I had started boiling the water when I heard Kangin yell from the living room, "Kyuhyun, use onions."

"Okay," I replied, and retrieved a few onions from the fridge.

I had next to no experience with a kitchen knife, so I was concentrating on slicing the onions when Kangin yelled "Kyuhyun!" from the living room, taking me by surprise. My fingers slipped, and I felt a sharp pain on my index finger as the knife glided over it. I drew in a small breath in surprise, then looked at my finger. Blood was starting to pool around the edges of the cut. As I stared at it, unsure of what to do, I heard Kangin again.

"Cho Kyuhyun!"

"Yeah," I called back, turning on the tap to run water over my finger.

"Don't forget the eggs," said Kangin. I sighed and continued with the onions.

I had never cooked ramen for so many people before, but I guessed that I just needed to add that much more water than I used for one packet of instant ramen.

After half an hour of much contemplation and frustration in the kitchen, Kangin yelled from the living room again. "Kyuhyun, is it almost done?"

"A few more minutes, sunbaenim," I said, cracking the eggs into the pot.

After ten minutes more of wrestling with the ramen, I was extremely relieved to finally be finished cooking as I set the pot down on the table. I looked at the TV to see the ending credits of the movie, and I sighed with regret. I made a second trip to the kitchen for bowls, and I set bowls down on the table and the ladle down in the pot. Soon, the members crowded around the table to eat.

I filled my bowl last, and Leeteuk had started eating from his own already. I was only paying attention to filling my bowl when I heard a loud crash. I turned my head in surprise to the source of the noise; Leeteuk had thrown his chopsticks down on the table.

I was frozen in place, not knowing what had happened, when Leeteuk finally spoke.

"Who cooked this crap?" said Leeteuk with a scowl.

My jaw dropped open; I didn't know how to respond.

"What's wrong?" I asked, the ladle still in my hand.

"Never cook ramen again," said Leeteuk, turning his head away from me.

His comment took me by surprise; he threw his chopsticks across the table because he didn't like the ramen? I was so shocked at how strongly he reacted that I didn't even move. Around the table, I saw the members taste the ramen and frown slightly.

"It's really bland," admitted Sungmin. "Too much water."

"How can you even think about giving this type of thing for your sunbaes to eat?" said Leeteuk, his head still turned away from me.

It was like a huge flame of rage started in my chest. I had just spent such a long time cooking for him - was it really too much for him to at least pretend to eat it?

"Fine," I declared, then I took Leeteuk's bowl from the table indignantly to empty its contents back into the pot. After doing the same with every other member's bowl, I got up from the table with the pot in my hands amidst the stares of the other members and walked to the kitchen. I poured all of the ramen that I had just spent so long cooking down the drain, and after dropping the pot into the sink with a loud clang, I stormed into my room, seething with anger.

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Comments

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secretanimelover #1
I might actually cry. This fic has always been so special to me and I used to come back and read my fave chapters regularly. I am so grateful that you are letting us all have access to it again. Thank you so much!
ferris_wheel
#2
Chapter 151: Thank you, i always go back to this whenever i need something to read. So thank you
mykyunie #3
Chapter 150: Love it very much
kyunniebiased4life
#4
I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE THIS UP AGAIN! I had to get a web archive from this to be able to read it. Thank you so much for allowing us to revisit this amazing story of our beloved maknae. Its a little bittersweet reading about Jonghyun, but I still love this so much.
bananajun
#5
hey, thank you so much for bringing this back.
mikaella_suju #6
Wahh I didn't know you republished this again. I literally searched the whole web just so I can re read
this again. I remembered messaging someone on Twitter asking for the link for this on wayback machine (webarchive.org). I really love this, its been years since I've read this but I still remember how good this was. Thank you for writing such an amazing fic!❤
Maymayz #7
Chapter 150: Oh my god you opened it again!!!!! I'm tearing up😭😭😭
Thank you so much for your hard work💙💙
mykyunie #8
Chapter 151: I do not understand why you are not satisfied with this job. I am not a writer, I only dedicate myself to reading the works of others, and believe me I have read many, many fics. and I must tell you that this fic is wonderful.
You cannot imagine how infinitely grateful I am that you allowed us to read it again since you stated that you did not intend to republish it.
This was the first fic I had the opportunity to read here at AFF and although I have read it many times each time I have done it, I end up in a sea of ​​tears because of the emotional roller coaster that Kyu had to go through to win the love of his hyungs and also about living the accident and recovering to achieve success.
thank you very much.
Henry9599 #9
Chapter 151: hello, i was wondering if there was sequel for "kyuhyun its been hard on you" ? I really really love that story. I really hope you can consider about sequel or one shot about suju if you are avialable. Really thank you for your amazing and lovely stories
Fridel2
#10
Chapter 151: I remember being blown away by the concept and the talent you showed. I'll keep an eye out for your AO3 ~