I sat down on the floor in my room after I got the news, and I thought about what I was going to say to my parents once I called them. I even practiced how I was going to say to them that my career was starting to pick up speed. After practicing under my breath over and over, I finally opened up my phone and dialed.

I was so ready, but as soon as I heard my mom's tired "Hello?" and drew in a breath to speak, I felt my eyes well up and my nose sting. To my horror, I was starting to cry again, just from hearing my mom's voice. I really didn't want to cry to my parents - I wanted them to think that I was doing well, regardless of whether or not they were mad at me. I took another breath to stop myself from crying as a tear rolled down my cheek, but the breath was irregular, and it triggered a few more tears. As my mom said another "Hello?", I gave up and hung up, not to call them again for the rest of the night.

I got my full bi-weekly paycheck back for the first time since that U mistake the next day, and the manager hyung drove me to the bank so that I could deposit it before going back to the dorm. At the bank, though, I hesitated in front of the teller as she asked, "All of it to your savings account?"

After deciding, I shook my head. "Could I get half of it in cash?"

She raised her eyebrows, as if to say, "What are you going to do with that much cash?" but she eventually nodded and got the money ready for me. I picked up an envelope from the counter again and placed the money in it before thanking her and leaving the counter.

I made my way back to the van and the manager hyung started the van, but before he started driving, I tapped him on the arm.

"Hyung," I said. The manager hyung looked at me again. "Can you drive me home on the way to the dorm?" I asked quietly.

He looked at me and put on an apologetic face. "Kyuhyun, you have to sleep at the dorm tonight."

I shook my head. "I don't want to sleep at home. It'll really just take three minutes. I just want to drop something off."

The manager hyung hesitated, then sighed. "Okay. Just a few minutes."

"Thanks," I said, then I extracted a pencil from my bag and started writing on the envelope again as he started driving.

Today was my pay day! I know this means nothing to you, and if there was something that meant more to you that I could do, I would have done that instead. I'm so sorry, and I miss you.

- Kyuhyun

The manager hyung glanced at me writing on the envelope, then he frowned a little. "What is that?"

I shook my head. "Nothing much."

"You're giving your parents money?"

I shot him an annoyed glance, but then sighed. "I have nothing else to give them, hyung."

"But - " started the manager hyung, and I felt a pang of frustration. I knew giving money would mean nothing, and the last thing I needed to hear right now was criticism from the manager hyung on how to deal with my family.

"Hyung, I'll share anything with you regarding the team and work. But let me deal with family on my own," I said, then he closed his mouth and didn't say anything for the rest of the ride home.

When we reached the apartment building where my parents were, I opened the door and looked at the manager hyung. "Thank you so, so much."

"Sure," he said, then I opened the door and walked upstairs.

It was just as hard walking away from home without seeing my parents for the second time as doing it for the first time. I took several deep breaths, then lined up the envelope carefully in front of the door. Then after ringing the doorbell, I made my way downstairs again, holding back tears.

I got into the van, and the manager hyung looked surprised.

"You're back already!"

"I said three minutes," I murmured.

"I didn't think you meant it," said the manager hyung, starting the van. I smiled ruefully.

"I meant it," I said, then I closed my eyes and tried to push the thoughts away as much as I could for the rest of the ride to the dorm.

That night, I was on the kitchen table, studying again, then at exactly 2am, the manager hyung came out into the kitchen.

"Kyuhyun, time for bed," he said. I nodded - I promised him that I would take care of myself after all. I put my books away in my bag again, then grabbed my phone from the table and sighed. I had been hoping for a call from my parents again, but it hadn't come. I really would have picked up the phone this time, just to hear their voice. Now that I heard their voices for the first time in months, I missed them more than ever before and I wanted to hear their voices again, and again, and again...

I looked at the manager hyung, who was waiting at the entrance for me to go to bed. "Hyung, I'll go in a minute."

The manager hyung raised his eyebrows and shook his head no. "Now."

"It really will be a minute, hyung. Really," I pleaded, then the manager hyung sighed.

"One minute," he said, then he turned around and left me alone in the kitchen.

Sighing with relief, I quickly picked up my phone and called my parents with no other goal than just to hear their voice. I heard the familiar "Hello?" from my mom, and like before, I didn't say anything as my eyes welled up again. I held the phone held tightly against my ear, hoping she would say another "Hello" or just anything else so that I would hear her voice again, but there a long, long silence.

Then -

"Kyuhyun," she said softly.

Shocked, I quickly drew my phone away from my ear and hung up. My mind went blank for at least a minute, then when I came to again, I was more angry at myself than ever before.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did I do that?

They would obviously know it was me that called. I had just gone to their house and dropped off half of my bi-weekly pay.

I was so angry at myself for being so rash and that I let out a frustrated shout and threw my phone against the wall as hard as I could. It fell to the ground, broken into pieces with a loud crash. I hated myself for being so impatient - this meant that I couldn't even call them anymore. They knew who I was.
And the ultimate reason for doing this - calling them without saying anything, afraid that I might start crying - had probably gone to waste. As much as they were probably still angry with me for pursuing a music career, I knew my parents would be worried about me to know that I had been having a hard enough time to call them just to hear them say "Hello" three nights in a row.

My heart was still pounding in my ears in anger when the manager hyung rushed into the kitchen, clearly having heard the crash.

"Kyuhyun, what - "

Then seeing my phone in pieces on the floor and my face in my hands, he sighed and walked towards me. I felt his hand on my back as he tried comforting me as I started crying into my arms. He stayed by my side until I stopped crying, then he said, "Go to bed. I'll pick you up a new phone tomorrow while you're at practice," he said, then he got me up from the chair and let me into my room.

I didn't call my parents again after I got the new phone. For the days following, I was dying to hear their voices again, but I didn't call them again. I convinced myself that I had to go back to the times when I was so busy that I rarely thought about them, but now that I started thinking about them so much, it seemed that I wasn't able to keep myself out of those thoughts. But to forget as much as possible, I put my all into preparing for the press conference, determined not to make any mistakes. It wasn't broadcast except for the few news cameras that would be there, so we just had to make sure to speak slowly if we needed to, and to speak extremely formally at all times. We learned cues on who will answer the questions, which words to avoid, which words to use. We were given instruction on how to take pictures before and after the conference, and how to introduce ourselves. Then, like all other things, it was practice, practice, practice; anticipating the questions that we were going to be asked, and preparing and repeating the answers until we memorized them. The challenge, they said, was going to be explaining the concept of a sub-unit; it was a totally novel concept, and to explain it in words that were going to be appropriate for the media was going to be difficult. As such, the three of us spent hours upon hours formulating the appropriate opening statements that would explain the concept simply and concisely.

Perhaps because of so much preparation, on the day of the press conference, I was feeling completely confident with myself; I knew I could do this, and do it well. As I was putting on my suit jacket over my clip-on microphone in the waiting room, the manager hyung came in and gathered the three of us.

"Are you ready?"

We nodded, and he smiled. "Good. Even if things don't go the way you planned, be professional."

"Okay," we muttered, then with pounding hearts, we finally made our way into the hall.

The medium-sized hall was filled with news reporters and cameras everywhere, and as soon as we walked out onto the stage, the cameras began flashing. It took a while for my eyes to get used to it all, but soon, we found ourselves introducing ourselves and posing for the pictures before sitting down behind the table that was prepared for us.

We said our prepared statements, updated everyone on Heechul's condition and why the second album would be delayed, then explained what Super Junior K.R.Y. would be about. After the statements, we opened up the floor to questions from the reporters. To our dismay, we found that they didn't understand the concept as much as we had hoped.

"So does mean the three of you are no longer going to be active with the 13-membered Super Junior?"

"No, we're still very much a part of Super Junior," clarified Yesung. "We're just promoting this month as a sub-unit."

"Does that mean you're going to break away from Super Junior in the future?"

"No, no, that's not it at all," I said with a small smile. "Please think of us as a group within a group. When we promote as a 13-person team again, we will definitely all participate."

"Why doesn't the entire team participate in this sub-unit?"

I was speechless. None of these people understood? I could feel myself starting to get frustrated.

"We think we have different talents to show. Much like some members are better at dancing, hosting or variety shows than others, we have vocal talents that stand out from the rest of the team," said Ryeowook. He was clearly still a lot more patient than I was.

However, that didn't seem to clarify anything. "So are you saying that essentially, Super Junior is made up of these sub-units that only come together to promote once in a while?"

"No," I said, really getting frustrated now. "This is just an opportunity for the three of us to show our vocal talents between the promotional periods for the 13-membered team. It's difficult to show each of our talents in a group of 13 members," I said. "This way, we're given more chances to show more aspects of our vocal talents than in the larger group."

"Does that mean you're not satisfied as your role in the larger group?"

I opened my mouth angrily, but Yesung spoke instead. "No, but this sub-unit - "

But then a reporter, a balding man who was arrogantly chewing on the end of his pen, cut him off with a sneering smile, which made me more angry than ever. They were here to listen to us, and we were answering their questions for them. I was so angry that I was red in the face, and as the reporter just began his question with, "But it seems to me that Super Junior - ", I cut him off.

"Sir, please allow us finish our sentences," I said with a small frown, barely able to keep a straight expression, then I turned to Yesung again to let him finish.
Just as Yesung was continuing with his sentence, I saw the manager hyung come up to the stage using the side stairs. I kept my eyes on the reporters, but he came to me and I felt his hands on my shoulders as he bent over to whisper in my ear.

"Careful," he warned. "Deep breaths. Don't say anything if you think you're going to lose your cool. 15 more minutes."

I gave him a curt nod without looking at him as he left the stage again. As I put my focus on the press conference again, Yesung was just finishing his statement.

"...I think it will be more clear how this will work once we start promotions."

I didn't say anything for the next few questions, then the reporter who had cut Yesung off earlier looked at me directly. "Kyuhyun, you've only been a part of Super Junior for half a year or so. If this so-called unit were to break off - "

"It's not going to break off," I said through clenched teeth. Why didn't he understand?

"Let us finish the questions as well," said the reporter, looking like I'd done him the biggest disservice in the world, but I wasn't troubled.

"Sir, you're talking about a hypothetical that won't happen, so the question is, quite honestly, a waste of time," I said. There was instantly a silence in the hall, and sensing this, I took a small glance at the manager hyung, who was shaking his head with his face in his hand. I realized that I'd messed up, but what was I supposed to do? The reporter was being ridiculous. But I stole another glance at the manager hyung, then suppressed a sigh. "But I'm very sorry for cutting you off. Please continue."

However, the reporter didn't continue his sentence. Maybe I'd embarrassed him, but I wasn't too sympathetic. I gave him a few more seconds, for which he remained silent. I glanced at the clock. Five more minutes. I looked around the hall again. "Just being conscious of time, we'll take just three more questions," I said, then I took a deep breath and nodded to another reporter to allow her to ask her question.

We stepped into the waiting room again, tired and frustrated. I had taken off my jacket and was in the middle of taking my microphone off when the manager hyung rushed into the waiting room, clearly angry.

"Do you realize what you did?" he asked, shaking me by my shoulders.

I sighed. "I'm sorry. I just - "

"That reporter you pissed off? He's one of the biggest bigshots in the industry, Kyuhyun."

I felt myself pale, but I shook my head. "Well, what can he do that - "

"Kyuhyun, the media is everything to our success. You learned this last week when we were preparing for this conference!"

I sighed and put my face in my hands.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"Stop messing up then apologizing," said the manager hyung through gritted teeth. "I've said this to you many, many times. It doesn't fix anything. You have to do things right the first time."

I looked at my feet. "Yes, sir," I muttered.

"I'm so tired of you being such an amateur," said the manager hyung angrily. "You're lucky we're not at the dorm right now," he said, then he walked away from me. I sighed, then I continued taking the microphone off.

*Author's note: Wow, I can't believe we're at Chp 100 already...! Thank you so much for all of you who've been with me all this time...! :')
THANK YOU!!!