Little did we know on that day, we ended up scrapping the entire first day's hard work in favour of a different location in the city, much to everyone's frustration. The physically straining dance shoot was repeated for another day, after which we were so exhausted that we could barely stand. On the contrary, the photoshoots were different. They were definitely less physically demanding, on the other hand, I felt it emotionally draining. We were asked to freely interact with each other for the photoshoots to portray a relaxed atmoshere, but once the members started socializing, I couldn't help but feel like an outsider again. Although I felt reasonably close to the younger hyungs, once they started interacting with each other and playing jokes on each other, there was no doubt that I was still on the outside, looking in. There was really no way that their accepting me for one or two months was going to be able to penetrate through to their years and years of friendship; as a result, for the entire three days' worth of photoshoots, I was brought back to being that scared, timid trainee who ate breakfast standing alone in the kitchen while his sunbaes sat in a circle in the living room, laughing and talking. Although I smiled like a fool for the photos, I was holding back tears with the realization that I still in isolation at the end of each shoot.

The next nights with Heechul went almost identically as the night before; I went down to the bar for wine every night after work instead of going to my room, and once curfew passed, I went into the bathroom to study. I always crawled out of it, exhausted, at around 3am, and I didn't have the misfortune of waking Heechul up accidentally yet.

At the same time, the two of us never exchanged a word to each other in our room, except for one night when he scolded me for leaving my dirty clothes out on my bed after work and heading to the bathroom to study without cleaning it up. He lectured and threatened me for a few minutes while I stood in front of him with my head down and apologized incessantly, but he didn't get angry enough to beat me, much to my relief.

On the last day in Malaysia, we were given the day off to explore and sightsee as we pleased. However, I was painfully aware that my exams were to begin the day we after we returned to Korea, and I was more anxious about them than ever before; I just stayed in my hotel room to study, forgoing the sightseeing. When I expressed my wishes to remain in the hotel to the manager hyung, he hesitated.

"Kyuhyun, it's not every day that you get this opportunity. I can't tell you when the next day off for you might be," he said.

"I really wish I could go out, too, but I really can't," I said with a sigh.

"You might regret it," said the manager hyung.

"I probably will - but I definitely will regret not studying," I said, and the manager hyung reluctantly let me stay in the hotel to study while the rest of them spent the day sightseeing.

That night, I finally felt reasonably ready for the tests, but compared to how much I had prepared for my exams before, I wasn't confident at all. I went to bed at 4am on the last night in Malaysia, and being more tired than ever, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Soon, though, I was startled awake by a loud yell and a pillow being thrown at me.

"What - " I mumbled, not fully awake yet. A second pillow flew and hit my face. "What the hell!" I yelled.

"DID YOU JUST SPEAK INFORMALLY?"

"Wait, what - " I pushed the pillows that had been thrown at me away from myself, but before I could do so, Heechul had taken me by the front of my shirt and had forced me up in my bed.

"What did I say to you about ignoring what I said?" yelled Heechul.

Still not fully awake, I had no idea what was happening. "What's going on?" I said. I sat up and looked around, dazed.

"WHY AREN'T YOU USING HONORIFICS? ARE YOU OLDER THAN ME?" screamed Heechul with a violent shake of my shirt.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Please calm down," I said in honorifics, then I took Heechul by his wrists and pulled his hands off my shirt, still trying to understand what was going on.

Heechul just looked at me in disbelief. "Are you fighting back?" he asked.

I looked at him blankly for a few seconds, and finally understood what was going on. I quickly let go of his wrists. "No, sunbaenim, I'm so sorry."

"What did I saw about sleeping habits?" repeated Heechul angrily, then he hit the side of my head so hard that I saw stars.

"Wait, sunbaenim, I said I was sorry!" I said, finally frightened, covering my head with my arms.

"You woke me up with your snoring!" shouted Heechul angrily.

"Okay, I didn't know I snored. I'm really sorry," I said, feeling slightly bewildered with the fact that the reason why Heechul was because I snored.

"Get up and on that wall," said Heechul with the most intimidating scowl. I got to my feet automatically and started walking towards the wall, but then another thought crossed my mind.

There was always a thought ingrained in my head that if a sunbae wanted to beat you, you have to take it without disputing it. I had stuck by this doctrine my entire stay with the team, but this time... I wasn't exactly going to fight back, but I couldn't let the hot-tempered Heechul hit me here. Not now. Not when there was no one around to stop him if he went too far, which was likely to happen.

"Sunbaenim, I'm really sorry. I really didn't mean to wake you up," I said calmly. I turned around and walked away from the wall towards my bed again.

"You're standing up to me," he declared. He got up from my bed as well, and raised his hand to hit me again. Flustered, I grabbed his wrist to keep him from hitting me.

"Hyung, no, I'm not," I said, although I knew that I was standing up to him like I had never done to anyone before. "I just - just - please stop hitting me. It really - it really hurts," I said, my hand still on his wrist. To this point, I had never admitted to anyone on the team how much pain I was in after a beating and I would rather have remained as such. However, I didn't know how else to convice Heechul not to hit me.

"You think I'd be doing this if it didn't?" seethed Heechul. I glanced at the clock. 6:05am. If I were somehow able to delay Heechul from hitting me for a bit until the manager hyung would come to check up on us at 6:30am, I might be able to get out of this without being beaten too harshly - at the same time, there was no way I could hold Heechul back for another 25 minutes.

"Hyung, you have to know how much it hurts, especially after what happened just before you moved out of the dorm." The words came out of my mouth before I had completely thought through what I was going to say, and they shocked even me; did I just say that? Did I really think that reminding him of what happened was going to help my situation?

Heechul stared at me. I had clearly touched a nerve, but to my genuine surprise, he didn't express it with anger. Instead, his hands lost strength, and I took this moment to let go of Heechul's wrist and lowered my hands.

"You think I won't do it just because you mentioned that incident?" asked Heechul quietly. I paused. He obviously would, and I knew he would. But if I were to convince him to stop hitting me -

"I - I think you won't," I said, racking up all of the courage I'd ever had.

"You obviously don't know me," said Heechul, but his hands stayed down.

"Hyung, I'm really, genuinely sorry about waking you up. But you know as much as anyone that it's not because I wanted to. I so didn't want to disturb your sleep that I studied for my exams in the bathroom for the entire week, hyung. Please give me at least a little credit."

I stole a glance at Heechul, who remained expressionless. Heechul stared at me for a while, then he slowly got up from my bed. I moved backwards in fear by about an inch, but Heechul, without saying anything, turned around and walked into the bathroom. I wondered  if he was looking for something to hit me with, but soon, I heard the shower turn on. I felt an immense relief flood over me, and I felt all of the tension leave my body. My shoulders slouched, a huge sigh escaped me, and I collapsed on the bed.

*Author's note: Ugh, that was my push-through-the-block chapter, so I hope you are a bit more forgiving than you usually would be... :(

Also - HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEENIM!!! <3