Chp 64
Kyuhyun... It's been hard on you.I put my hand on the back door of the manager hyung's van to open it, but then changed my mind and got in the passenger seat instead.
"I'm sorry to bother you so much, sir," I said, not meeting his eyes.
"It's no bother," said the manager hyung, then he stepped on the gas and started driving.
We maintained an awkward silence for half the trip to school, then he finally spoke.
"Are you ready for Malaysia?" he asked with a small smile. I frowned a little.
"Malaysia?" I asked, in complete and utter confusion.
"Yeah, for the music video and photoshoot," he said, his smile still on his face.
"Music video and pho... For - for what?" I asked, still unsure.
"For the new SM Town album, Kyuhyun," he said, taking his eyes off the road momentarily to look at me. His smile faltered.
"SM Town album?" I said, feeling sillier and sillier by the minute.
"Didn't Youngjun hyung tell you?" asked the manager hyung.
"Uh - about what?" I asked, perplexed.
"That you guys are going to Malaysia in two weeks," said the manager hyung, looking uncomfortable. My eyes widened.
"I haven't heard that," I said, flustered. The manager hyung frowned.
"But you guys are recording next week. You got the song guide, right?"
"Uh - wait, sorry. What - what is it called?" I asked uncertainly.
"Um, it's called Dancing Out."
Something clicked in my head.
"Oh, so that's what Ryeowook was listening to last night at the dorm when I went to his room to - " I stopped myself, remembering who I was talking to. I then squinted out the windshield. "I'm very sorry, sir. I haven't started practicing. I'll get on it."
There was another silence as we pulled up into the school entrance. I reached for my bag in the back seat while the manager hyung turned his head to look at me.
"How are you doing, really, with Youngjun? It doesn't seem like he's - "
He touched a nerve with this question - was he asking the question because he didn't already know the answer? "I'm fine," I said, looking away from him.
"If he's... If he's not right for you, I can always take you back," he said quietly.
"No. He's a good manager," I snapped, my chest tight. Why did he even have the right to ask this question? He was the one that gave me away to another manager.
"Kyuhyun, stop acting like a child," he said in exasperation. I rounded on him.
"And you don't think I'm justified?" I shouted on the top of my lungs. "You really thought I would answer a question that I didn't want to answer just because you beat me?" I glared at him. "I'm old enough to stand by what I believe. You might be able to beat a child into doing what you want, but I'm not a child anymore. But as long as you treat me like a child, why shouldn't I be acting like one?"
The manager hyung didn't say anything, and I took this time to vent at him more.
"It's not fair that I have bruises that are going to last for weeks from that night, because, sir, I didn't even do anything wrong. Then you had the nerve to ask whether I was okay the next morning - did you really want an honest answer? I'm sure you didn't. You just wanted me to tell you that I was okay so that you would feel better. But the truth is, no, I wasn't. I'm still not. I'm obviously not. I can't believe you did it. I thought we had a - I thought - I thought you understood - "
I couldn't continue due to my irregular breathing. The manager hyung opened his mouth to say something, but I opened the car door before he could get anything out.
"I'm going to be late for class," I said through clenched teeth. "And sir, if you'll allow me to now, I'd really like to go just one day without being scolded by anyone. Can I do that?"
The manager hyung looked at me seriously for a few seconds. "No," he concluded quietly.
I stared at him in disbelief for a second, then I scoffed. "Fine, then I'll just sit here until you think I'll be late enough to be scolded. Or maybe you'd like to wait longer than that. I'm sure you would enjoy it more if I were beaten at school, too, right?" I slammed the door closed, and flung my bag into the back seat again. I was so angry that I knew that I was probably crimson already, and I could feel the blood vessels pulsating in my head. I had to keep taking deep breaths to keep the feeling as if my chest were going to explode at bay.
We sat there in silence for a while, but my anger still hadn't cooled. Neither of us said anything for probably another minute. At the end of the minute, I lost my patience.
"This is ridiculous," I muttered, the anger in me surging again. I reached for my bag again, but the manager hyung looked at me.
"I said, no," he said quietly. I stared into his eyes for a few seconds angrily with my fists clenched, and faced front again.
"Yes, sir," I said sarcastically. "Forget my final exams in a few weeks. Oh, also forget that my college entrance exams are in a few months. I don't mind missing class time that I only get five hours a week of anyway."
The manager hyung didn't say anything again, and I sighed in frustration at his lack of response. I crossed my arms and just stared out of the windshield.
We must have sat there in silence for about twenty minutes. During that time, the anger at the manager hyung soon turned into worry that I was missing class, then it slowly turned into horror as I finally realized what I had just said to the manager hyung.
"Oh god. What did I just - " I whispered with my eyes closed as I slowly uncrossed my arms and hung my head.
"If you have anything more you want to say to me, say it now," said the manager hyung calmly. I shook my head with it still lowered in shame.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered, and I put my face in my hands. "I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so - "
"Kyuhyun," said the manager hyung without expression, cutting me off.
"Yes, sir," I answered, my voice barely audible.
"All I'm asking is for you not to keep your emotions bottled up like that," said the manager hyung.
"Yes, sir," I whispered again, still unable to meet his eyes. "I'm so sorry."
"You don't have to tell me everything," he said mildly. "Just answer the questions I ask honestly until you feel comfortable." I nodded. The manager hyung paused for a second, then spoke again. "And if I could turn back time, I wouldn't have done what I did. I really am sorry about what happened."
I stayed silent for a second, then looked up and met his eyes with difficulty.
"Hyung," I said, tears filling my eyes. "It was really hard without you the past few days." I bit my lip to keep myself from crying. "Hyung, will you please take care of me again? Please. I'm so sorry for being so rude just now."
The manager hyung smiled slightly. "Come here," he said. Then he gave me the biggest, warmest hug that anyone had given me since I had been on the team, and in relief and gratitude, I started sobbing into his shoulder.
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