I wasn't able to sleep a wink that night, although I pretended I had been sleeping when Ryeowook came to our room to wake us up. The pressure had definitely gotten to me and I had become multiple times more irritable and sensitive beyond belief; I felt like I could explode with the smallest touch. Donghae was the first to leave for the bathroom, and I sighed as I got up as well. I got up and moved towards the door to see whether Ryeowook had made breakfast already. I had opened the door about an inch when a hand forced it closed again. Confused, I looked at the perpetrator; it was obviously Sungmin.

"What's going on?" I asked, as Sungmin stood between me and the door.

"It's a good thing Leeteuk hyung stopped Heechul hyung from hitting you last night, right?" said Sungmin. When I just stared at him, he spoke again. "But Jungsu hyung has this thing about hitting while the person with the upper hand's still angry. He'll never let it happen. Something about both sides needing time to reflect before punishment. When he's angry at you, his words hurt more than his fist. Because, obviously, he wouldn't use his fist when he's angry."

I frowned. "Why are you talking about - "

"I mean, you already needed an ice pack to sleep two nights ago."

I goggled at him. So that was what this was about? "Hyung, it's my debut stage today, and I don't think I can talk about this right now. Can't it wait?"

"No," said Sungmin. "I meant to ask you last night, but I didn't realize Donghae would be awake as well."

I sighed.

"Hyung, I really don't want to say what happened," I said seriously.

Sungmin looked at me. To my surprise, he smiled.

"That's okay. I knew you'd say that," he said.

"Thanks for underst -"

"I know what happened already."

I was silent for a long time, and then I finally opened my mouth. "How?" I asked quietly.

"You clearly weren't going to tell me, so I did my own investigating yesterday," said Sungmin with a mischievous grin. "It was obviously over dinner that it happened. Ryeowook said you had dinner with that special junior of yours, so I asked him after practice yesterday."

"And he told you?" I asked incredulously.

"He didn't at first, but then I told him I'd beat you if he didn't say," said Sungmin. My jaw dropped.

"Hyung, don't do that to him," I said in horror. "He's really sensitive about that stuff."

"As long as it got the job done," said Sungmin unfeelingly.

I could feel a headache coming. "So wait. Did you tell him that I slept with the ice pack?" I asked, putting my hand on my forehead.

"It came up briefly," said Sungmin, with a slight smile.

"Hyung, do you know how hurt he probably was, knowing that I was in enough pain to do that?" I said. I shook my head in disbelief. "There's a reason why I wanted to keep quiet about this."

"Kyuhyun, what you did is nothing to be ashamed about," said Sungmin, clearly taken aback at my hostile response. I ignored him.

"Hyung, from now on, I'd love it if you could stay out of my personal life, especially when it concerns Jonghyun," I said, my hands shaking with anger. "Let me deal with my own problems."

Sungmin looked into my eyes and touched my arm. "But Kyuhyun, it's not like we just work together."

I glared at him. "We do just work together," I said. I put my hand on the doorknob again.

"Stop trying fool yourself," said Sungmin, gripping my wrist and taking my hand off the doorknob. "We don't just work together. We eat together, we sleep together, we breathe together. We live together. So whether you like it or not, we can't separate personal life from work. And do you know what? If you'd just accept it, the rest of us could help you deal with - "

"Really? I didn't see you rushing to help me last night when I was in trouble," I said. I paused a bit to regain a more regular breath. "And helping me with my personal problems? Maybe you should try to make it less obvious that being a freaking punching bag and a housemaid is my position on this team before trying to get involved with my personal life."

"Kyuhyun -"

"I don't know what you're trying to do, and I don't really care," I said, so furious that my voice was unsteady, "but you had no right whatsoever to do what you did. And I don't know about you, but today is the most important day of my life so far. So if you'd like to be a bit less selfish and let me get ready for my debut stage, I'd appreciate it."

"Cho Kyuhyun, you're going too far," said Sungmin in a warning tone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sunbaenim. Maybe if you had let me get away from you earlier, I wouldn't have gone too far," I said derisively, then fuming, I opened the door and left the room.

I didn't regret my outburst at Sungmin until we were in the hair shop. I hadn't realized at the time that I was being infinitely rude, and also hadn't realized that even throughout all this, Sungmin was being as calm and understanding as one could possibly hope for. Now that I was thinking back, how Sungmin hadn't lost it with me seemed like the mystery of the century.

Now on top of having anxiety and nervousness bearing down on me, I had also added guilt; I didn't know how I was going to contain all the emotion. Just a few more hours, and everything will work itself out, I thought to myself. I was still using everything I had to deal with all of my emotions during the hectic costume change that when the coordinators were threading the microphone and the in-ear monitor through my clothes, I barely even remembered to thank them. After they were finally finished, I sat down in our waiting room with my head in my hands; how was I supposed to deal with all this?

"Calling Super Junior, dry run in 15 minutes!"

I looked up to just in time see the assistant producer of the show pull his head back out of the waiting room. I stood up, but my legs were feeling so weak that I wasn't sure how I was expected to dance. I saw Sungmin fiddling with his in-ear monitors nervously across the room, and then I knew that I had to confront him now; otherwise, my head was going to burst.

I made my way over to his side of the room, and bravely tapped him on the shoulder and Sungmin turned around to face me. I opened my mouth to apologize, but Sungmin spoke first. "It's okay," he said. "You needed to vent. I was just there. There are no hard feelings."

I gawked at him. "Hyung, I was so rude to you," I said. "You're okay with that?"

"Like I said, you needed to vent. And really, I did initiate it, so I can't blame you," he said. "But I do hope that you think about what you said and whether you actually meant everything some other time."

"I will," I said. "Hyung, you're... you're incredible. I don't know how you did that."

"No worries. Focus on the stage now. You're ready for this, and I'm supporting you," he said.

As soon as he said this, I felt my eyes water. Seeing this, Sungmin grasped my shoulders. "Don't," he said. "You're going to smudge your makeup."

I nodded and smiled. My chest felt hundreds of pounds lighter. "Thanks, hyung."

"Okay," he said, and he adjusted my microphone a tiny bit. "You don't have to be perfect right now, it's just the dry run. So focus on getting a feel for the stage and how the formation changes slightly on the stage."

I nodded, and he looked at me in a way that reminded me of how a mother might look at a son when sending him off to school for the first time.

"Good luck," said Sungmin, patting my arm.

"You too, hyung," I said, and we left the waiting room to join the rest of the team offstage.