I just left Seunghwan hyung sprawled out on the couch and made my way back to our room with my arm around Ryeowook's shoulder and closed the door. I made sure that Ryeowook and I didn't step on Leeteuk as he still slept on the floor, oblivious to everything from Seunghwan hyung yelling at us to Henry and Ryeowook still sniffling.

I finally got under my covers and Ryeowook got into his own. Ryeowook quieted down soon, but Henry still hadn't quieted down after a few moments. I turned towards him in my bed and inched closer to him.

"Are you okay?" I asked Henry worriedly. He was the only dongsaeng I had on the team, and I wanted to make sure he was being taken care of.

He said something in English, which I didn't understand, but I sighed and patted the seat of his pants as comfortingly as I could. But as soon as I did, he lifted his head from the bed and threw my hand off of him. Startled, I stared at him, hurt. I'd just done so much to get him out of trouble, but he couldn't wait to get rid of me.

"Okay, fine, I won't try to help you anymore. Calm down," I snapped, then I got under my covers. "I'll just let you get beaten from now on."

I rolled over and turned to face Ryeowook sleeping on the other side of me instead, and didn't look at Henry again until I fell asleep.

The next morning was somewhat awkward. When Ryeowook woke us up, Henry and I both sat up in our beds, rubbing our tired eyes. We caught each other's glances, but he looked away so quickly. I was confused for a moment as to why he was acting so when I remembered what had happened last night. I glared at him then, but when I looked at him more closely, I saw that his eyes were still pink and puffy. I sighed, then got out of the bed. It was so frustrating. If we could communicate, I would just ask him what his problem with me was, and I'd be able to assess whether I could fix this relationship or not. But since we couldn't, we had to maintain this awkward middle ground of not exactly hating each other, but not exactly being fond of each other, either.

I'd grown to hate this middle ground. I never knew when my last interaction with someone was going to be. So at every moment, I wanted to make sure that there were no regrets. I sighed and unflattened my hair by shaking my hand through it. Right now, both Seunghwan hyung and Henry were at those middle grounds, and I needed to take care of those as soon as I possibly could.

Solving this problem with Seunghwan hyung was relatively easy. We could talk, have a conversation. Or we didn't even have to talk about it. As long as we both made clear to each other that we still loved each other, we didn't even have to talk about the incident. But with Henry - with Henry, what was I supposed to do?

I turned to face Henry and to try to talk to him right then, but he had turned his back on me now, and he wasn't about to look at me anytime soon.

As I was about to slide off of my bed with a sigh, I saw Leeteuk stirring at the foot of the bed; I'd forgotten that he was sleeping there.

I let myself down carefully and looked at Leeteuk, who was struggling to sit up. He let out a groan and clutched at his back as my feet touched the floor. Worried, crouched down to get closer to him and patted him on the small of his back, at which he let out another groan. "Hyung, are you okay?"

"Y - yeah, just - " he winced in pain as he tried to get himself up, and startled, I supported him by his elbows.

"Hyung, come up here and lie down on the bed," I said, quickly guiding him up.

"I'm okay, I - I should be getting up," he said, but he still had the frown on his face.

"No, just for a moment. Stretch out your back a little bit," I said, then I straightened the covers on my bed. Leeteuk also finally stopped resisting and plopped himself down on the bed, face down. "See, I told you to sleep on the bed," I rebuked.

"I - I'm  okay," said Leeteuk through clenched teeth, but his hand was still massaging his own back painstakingly. I grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away and put my own hand to his back instead to give him the massage. He flinched away as soon as I put my hand on his back, though, and I patted his arm gently.

"Stay still for a moment," I said.

"N - no, Kyuhyun, you're sick too," said Leeteuk.

"Not that sick," I insisted, but Leeteuk was also stubborn.

"No, go away," he said after just a few seconds, but I stayed persistent and continued to massage his back gingerly. I knew I wasn't good at this, but I just wanted Leeteuk to feel better again.

At that moment, Ryeowook appeared at the doorway.

"Are you guys - " said Ryeowook, evidently having decided that we hadn't come out of the room because we hadn't waken up, saw me massaging Leeteuk and suddenly looking concerned, rushed towards us. "Are you okay?" he yelled to Leeteuk, finding another spot on his back to massage.

"I'm fine," repeated Leeteuk, but definitely not sounding the part. "The both of you, get off. Don't tire yourselves out. Especially you, Kyuhyun."

I sighed and finally took my hands off of Leeteuk's back. "Okay. I'll be right back with Sungmin hyung," I said. I shuffled to the foot of the bed again, leaving Ryeowook alone to massage Leeteuk, when I noticed a gaze following me. I hadn't noticed when I was still tending to Leeteuk, but Henry was still sitting up on his bed, watching with curiosity with those still-swollen eyes. I gave him a timid smile, and I thought he returned it uncertainly before looking away again. When I finally climbed off the bed, Henry did as well and followed me out of the bedroom, but both of us very aware of each other's presence and movements. I turned the corner to go into the living room to get Sungmin, but Henry had been turned the opposite way to go into the kitchen for his breakfast. However, as soon as he saw me going into the living room, he stopped dead in his tracks. I turned to look at him, wondering why he did.

He looked so flustered and confused, like he didn't know whether to go into the kitchen or not, and his eyes were fixed on me, looking at me for guidance. And then I realized that as much as he didn't like me for whatever reason, he must still not have felt comfortable enough with the rest of the team to be able to wander into the kitchen to pick up his breakfast, then eat it with the team in the living room. Remembering the same situation in my own debut, I laughed a little. Henry looked confused, though, so I just turned to him and smiled.

"It's okay," I said, then I picked up a bowl from the table and held it out for him to take. He took it shyly in his hands, and I picked up another bowl for myself. I then guided him out of the kitchen and into the living room again. No matter what happened, I didn't want this kid eating breakfast alone in the kitchen like I once had.

I stayed near Henry until he was properly seated in the living room, and I sat down next to him. I finally told Sungmin about Leeteuk, after which he left to tend to him. As I was halfway through my bowl, Ryeowook came out of our bedroom and into the kitchen, leaving Sungmin and Leeteuk in it. He soon came into the living room with his bowl, then he looked at me.

"Kyuhyun, do you have the right bowl?" asked Ryeowook as I put my spoon into the bowl. I frowned in confusion.

"What?"

"Yours was set aside on the counter," said Ryeowook, then he got up from the floor and went into the kitchen again. I looked down at my bowl of food to see whether there was anything wrong with it, but it was standard Ryeowook-style breakfast: stir-fried vegetables over some rice and some egg whites with chili paste on top. I looked into Henry's bowl quizzically to see if it was any different, but it wasn't.

"What are you talking about?" I asked when Ryeowook returned from the kitchen, but Ryeowook took my half-eaten bowl of food away from my hand and put a new one in it. I took one look at it before my eyes bugged.

It was a bowl that was twice as big as anyone else's, and it was filled with white rice, a fried egg with the yolk still intact, the stir-fried vegetables, but all of it covered with beef. I didn't even know our dorm carried so many slices of beef, and I'd never seen it being cooked here.

"It's for me?" I asked, taking in the smell of the meat and looking up at Ryeowook, my eyes round.

"Yeah," he said, then he looked up at everyone else in the living room. "It's just for Kyuhyun. Not anyone else. Because he's sick," he declared before anyone else even had a chance to grumble their jealousy.

I looked up and eyed the manager hyung to make sure it was okay to eat, but he wasn't even looking up at me. I sighed, thinking that I had to resolve this sometime before we left the dorm and got into the vans to get to work. But for the moment - I just looked up, thanked Ryeowook who responded with a pat on the top of my head and a worried smile, and enjoyed the breakfast.

A few minutes later, everyone was finishing up their breakfast and the living room emptied one by one. Although I'd finished, though, I didn't get up and waited for Seunghwan hyung to be done with his own food. And I finally stood up when he did. He ignored me, but I followed him into the kitchen to drop off our empty bowls in the sink, and I followed him out of it as he passed the living room to go to his own room.

When we were alone in the hallway, I finally made my move.

"Hyu - ung," I said, hugging him from behind and burying my face into his back affectionately.

"What?" he said with an air of harsh, but I knew he was trying hard not to smile.

"Hyung, I think you're the best manager in the world," I said, my speech muffled as I spoke into his back.

"You want something," declared the manager hyung, tapping on my arms impatiently to signal me to let go, but I didn't.

"No, I don't," I whined, then I squeezed his body tighter to mine. "You're actually just the best manager in the world."

He finally laughed and turned himself around in my arms so that he was facing me. He hugged back and smoothed the top of my head.

"You have a meeting with some representatives first thing in the morning today, so don't be late and get ready, Kyuhyun," he said. I laughed too, and I finally let go as Seunghwan hyung patted my bottom lightly.

"Okay," I said, then I turned around to walk back into my room when I realized that someone had been watching me and Seunghwan hyung's interaction the entire time. It was Henry looking on with his head cocked to the side in confusion.

When I got out of my bedroom, I finally got the piece of paper from Seunghwan hyung that I hadn't held in my hand for so long. And when I did, I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. It used to be such a regular, everyday thing - but when I remembered that only a month ago, I didn't know if this moment would ever come, I was just so happy, and so thankful.

13. Cho Kyuhyun

Sunday, August 5th, 2007

7:00am-8:30am   Meeting with company (KH only)

"My day's so short," I mused to Seunghwan hyung, who was still near me as he handed the schedules out to everyone else. "And the team's not training today?"

"Um - well, they are, but..." he trailed off.

I frowned. "So why didn't you put me in - "

I turned to my side and saw that Eunhyuk, who was closest to me, was reading his own schedule with an exhausted look on his face. I glanced over at his schedule. And as soon as I saw its length, my eyes widened.

8. Lee Hyukjae

Sunday, August 5th, 2007

7:00am-9:00am   Group practice (All SJ - KH)

9:00am-11:00am  Vocal practice (EH only)

11:00am-11:10am Transportation

11:15am-3:30pm  MNet Variety Show recording (All SJ - KH)

3:30pm-5:30pm   Dance training with instructor (EH only)

5:30pm-9:30pm   Group practice (All SJ - KH)

9:30pm-9:45pm   Transportation

10:00pm-12:00am Super Junior's Kiss the Radio live recording (LT & EH)

12:00am-3:00am  Group practice (All SJ - KH)

"Why is - why is your day so - " I grabbed his schedule out of his hand and read it over more thoroughly. The variety show recording and the radio, I understood, but the group practices - the team was supposed to have three practice sessions today, and I had been left out in every single one - it was so strange to see the notation that said that everyone except I was going to be there. "Um, okay," I said like nothing bothered me, and handed the schedule back to Eunhyuk. I tried to convince myself that I really was. I had that meeting with the representative today, and they will tell me what was going to happen.

And I'll do anything to convince them that I was ready to work harder than my body would let me, and to let me come back with everyone else.

I was biting at my lower lip and fiddling with my fingers.

I had been seated at the foot a conference table, next to Seunghwan hyung, in one of the meeting rooms in the that I had never been inside of before. When I'd gone into the room at five minutes to 7, the room had been completely empty, but exactly one minute before 7 o'clock, so many of those representatives in crisply ironed white shirts, completely lint-free black jackets and choking ties entered the room. I'd been so preoccupied trying to control my nerves and making sure that I was greeting each of them the right way that I hadn't noticed myself digging my fingernails into my cuticles. Seunghwan hyung noticed what I was doing before I did, and when he did, he grabbed my wrist tightly.

"Stop," whispered Seunghwan hyung discretely, pulling my hands apart.

"Hangnail," I whispered back.

"I don't care. Stop it. You're bleeding," he said, pointing at my left thumb. Indeed, small droplets of blood had pooled on the bottom of my nails. I wiped them off on my pants and focused on taking deep breaths instead.

The chairperson of the meeting, whoever he was - I'd never seen him before, at any rate - walked into the room exactly at 7 o'clock, and I rose once again to greet him, as did everyone else around the table, before finally beginning the meeting.

I couldn't believe all of this was happening because of me, and unlike what I'd imagined in my head, for the better part of the hour, I was frozen in place and unable to speak as they discussed my future. I just sat there, wondering why the manager hyung didn't dress me in something more formal than my t-shirt and jeans - like I always did when I met the representatives, until they finally called my name. My head snapped up and I looked at the representative who'd just spoken.

"Have you begun singing?" he asked.

My wet my lips. Of course, the truthful answer was 'no'.

"Um - I - um - no, not - but - " I stuttered, flustered at the sudden address, so Seunghwan hyung came to my rescue.

"His first vocal training session since the accident is tomorrow afternoon," he said. I nodded fervently to confirm the claim.

"But if he hasn't begun singing and if the recording begins later this week, I don't see how it will be possible for Kyuhyun," said the representative.

"But I know I can get it back really soon," I said quickly. "I mean - even if I don't - I'm pretty sure I can still sing better than..." I trailed off.

"Yeah?" asked a representative, sounding interested.

"Hyukjae hyung," I said timidly. And to my surprise, the entire conference room roared with laughter. I smiled too, relaxing a little, and thought, sorry, Hyukjae hyung, but it's true. When it finally died down, another representative spoke.

"And how about dance? Exercise? Have you been cleared by the doctors to dance?"

"Yes," I responded, but I heard Seunghwan hyung say beside me, "No."

I looked at him in shock that he'd do anything to keep me out of the album. "Hyung - hyung, I was," I said.

"No, you weren't," he said sternly.

"Hyung, you're supposed to be on my side," I whispered, pained. "I can do it. You know I can."

Seunghwan hyung shook his head.

"This has less to do with our distrust in your abilities than with us being very, very worried about your health."

"Let me decide when it's too much for me," I pleaded. "Let me at least try. Please."

"Kyuhyun, I know where your body's at right now and I know you won't be able to get through even one regular training session."

"But I need to try! How would you know that if you don't let me try?"

Seunghwan hyung sighed as I looked down into my lap angrily. I couldn't believe Seunghwan hyung was being like this. He was supposed to be on my side, helping to achieve my goals. He was my manager and -

"Kyuhyun," he said, then he put his hand on my cheek and turned my head towards him until I was looking into his eyes.

"Hyung, let me do it. Please let me do it. Hyung."

"No, Kyuhyun - "

"I'll do anything. Just let me try - "

"Enough," said a representative, holding up his hands and cutting me off. "Kyuhyun, our recommendation - and I guess also your manager's - is that you don't participate in this album," he said.

"But - "

"But if you really, really want to participate, the uncontested best solution wil be to give your own part in the title song, but for you not to participate in the rest of the dance. You'll just sing your own part and leave the stage as soon as it's convenient."

I shook my head. "But I know the team's been practicing the choreography with my spot empty in every formation," I said, and the representatives laughed again.

"Believe us when we say, that's not what we recommended for them to do," one of them said.

"But let me just try," I said. "Let me just - try. I promise, I promise I'll let you know if I can't. I'll stop if I can't."

The representatives discussed with each other a bit further, at which I started nervously wringing my hands again, and Seunghwan hyung pulled my hands away from each other again.

"Okay," said one of them finally. "We'll let you try at it. But only after you get permission from your doctors."

I nodded enthusiastically. That made sense.

"And as for the other songs in the album - "

"I can record," I said quickly, drawing smiles from more of them.

"Let's leave that up to your vocal teachers," he said.

I nodded slowly. Fair enough. I just had to prove it to my vocal teachers, and I knew they'd be fair to me. I was okay with this. I'll record as soon as I prove myself to the instructors, and I had just been given the go-ahead to participate in all of the dance in the title song.

I hid a smile.

This meeting couldn't have gone better.

"They were so nice to me for some reason. They've never treated me like that before," I said to Seunghwan hyung as we sat in the cafeteria after the meeting over cups of iced coffee.

He smiled. "No one ever got to see how passionate you were for this," he said. "I think it was touching."

I frowned. "But I've talked to them before about - "

"No, the way you were cutting them off and bantering," he said. "They rarely see that from trainees or artists. They're used to being treated with respect."

"I was disrespectful?" I asked worriedly.

The manager hyung drained the last of his coffee and smiled. "Yeah. But in a good way."

I smiled and took a sip from my own cup through the straw before looking at him. "So what do I do for the rest of the day?"

"Before the group practice session?" He shrugged. "I'm sure you can find something to do at the office."

I nodded uncertainly when I jumped from my chair in surprise. Someone had just stumbled into it, exhausted and panting.

"I'm so tired," sighed Eunhyuk.

"Hey, hyung," I said. "What are you up to?"

But Eunhyuk put his head down on the table without answering the question, and Seunghwan hyung spoke instead. "He has vocal practice by himself for two hours now."

A smile spread across my face.

Perfect.

"No," I said, not even trying to hide my frustration. "Pay attention."

I saw Eunhyuk clenching his teeth, but soon cleared his throat again as I counted him in with my fingers snapping impatiently. "Again. One - two - three - four - "

Eunhyuk sang the part again - although I wasn't sure if I could even call it singing - but he was still doing it wrong, after over an hour of me coaching him.

"How do you not get this?" I yelled, exasperated. Eunhyuk hung his head, but I didn't even feel any sympathy for him. "I said you had to support from here, not from your neck," I said, angrily tapping - or maybe slapping - at Eunhyuk's diaphragm. "How do you find that so hard?"

"I'm trying, Kyuhyun," he said with a sad sigh.

"If you were trying, you wouldn't be so bad at this," I snapped.

Eunhyuk seemed to reel in his own frustration, and I was about to tell him to behave himself since he was the one that was doing badly, when he muttered something unhappily under his breath. I caught the words "you" and "worse", so I raised my eyebrows.

"Excuse me?" I challenged.

He looked up at me, then he spoke. "I said, you're worse than the vocal teacher."

I shrugged. "I wouldn't be if you weren't so bad at singing."

Eunhyuk scoffed with a laugh of disbelief, then he patted me on the arm. "Cho Kyuhyun."

I crossed my arms. "What?"

"I'm not this strict with you when I'm teaching you to dance, and arguably, you're worse at dancing than I am at singing."

I opened my mouth to tell him off, then I realized that he was probably telling the truth. I contemplated for a moment, then I nodded. "Fair enough," I admitted, then I took a deep breath to calm myself down, hoping that he wasn't too harsh on me from now on when he was coaching my dance.

After the practice, Eunhyuk rushed off for a quick lunch before heading off to the variety show recording, practically sprinting to the cafeteria, and I just took my time and walked at a slow pace. I was in no rush. When I reached it, Eunhyuk was hurriedly eating a bowl of noodles at a dizzying speed.

"Hey, hyung, can I have some?" I said with a smile that showed him that what happened at the practice room stayed in the practice room, and we were back to being the hyung and the dongsaeng.

Eunhyuk looked up at me with a frown, saying neither yes or no, but I picked up some chopsticks from the container on the table. And after having picked up some noodles, I put the bit of food in my mouth and chewed.

I saw Eunhyuk's face harden as soon as I did, though, and I flustered a little and put the chopsticks back down on Eunhyuk's tray. I straightened up again, but Eunhyuk also put his own chopsticks down.

"You eat it," he said, pushing the bowl towards me.

"No, I didn't want the whole thing," I said. I pushed the bowl closer to him again, but he shook his head.

"I'm going to get my own," he said, still no trace of a smile on his face and seriousness exuding him.

My mouth dropped open. "You're being like this because I ate a bit of your food? Hyung, come on."

Eunhyuk didn't say anything and got up from his chair and started walking towards the counter of the cafeteria. And being so angry at Eunhyuk, I let out a laugh of disbelief.

"Wow, Lee Hyukjae, you are so immature," I said. Then I sat down at the table. "Fine. I'll just eat it."

"Hyung! I'm Hyukjae hyung!" yelled Eunhyuk, but I glared at him.

"So act like one," I said, then I pulled the entire tray towards me and started eating his noodles.