"Wait - wait, Kyuhyun," said Donghae.

Donghae and I were just outside the door to our dorm, but Donghae didn't seem too keen want to walk in. Shivering still in the cold, I turned my head to look at him. "Yeah," I said.

"Can - can we come up with something to say to the hyungs?" asked Donghae quietly.

I smiled and put my hand on his back. "It's okay. They won't be mad," I said, but Donghae didn't seem as convinced. I sighed. "What do you want to say?"

"I just - don't want to get in more trouble," said Donghae quietly. I sighed and smoothed the top of his wet hair.

"It's okay. Just go in the shower as soon as we get in, okay?" I said, then I opened the door and led him in.

The warmth was instant and melting. I finally took my jacket off, which had been so wet that it was barely even keeping me warm. The living room was about half-occupied; a lot of the members were still in the living room, and I saw Donghae hesitate behind me.

"Hyung," I said quietly, then taking Donghae by his arm, pushed him into the bathroom. I was about to close the door to the bathroom when Donghae stopped me.

"Kyuhyun - " he said, his eyes pleading. I shook my head.

"I'll put your dry clothes by the door," I said, and then I forced the door closed. I stayed outside the bathroom until I heard the shower turn on, and I finally ran my hand through my hair and shook it, trying to dry it as much as possible.

I looked like a drowned rat, I was sure, but I didn't even care as I walked out into the living room again. Leeteuk was still there, and I looked at him.

"Um - hyung, he's really sorry, so - I know it's not my place, but - "

Leeteuk nodded. "I know. I'm done scolding him. The fans are already giving him a hard time."

I nodded uncertainly and walked into the kitchen to make some hot tea when Eunhyuk appeared from behind me, dragging a towel along with him on the floor.

"Kyuhyun, you're trekking water with you everywhere. Stay put, or I'm going to have to clean miles of your water trails!" said Eunhyuk, annoyed.

I laughed. "I'll do it later, don't worry about it!" I said, bending down to take the towel from under his foot and putting it over my hair to dry it, much to Eunhyuk's revolt.

"That's just disgusting. That towel was on the floor," said Eunhyuk, looking appalled.

"I'm going to go in the shower in a few minutes anyway!" I retorted.

Eunhyuk squinted at me, then he poked my chest with his finger.

"Just stay put," he said, then he snatched the towel out of my hands.

I laughed again and nodded, but I walked into my old room to get dry clothes for Donghae with an annoyed Eunhyuk on my tail before taking a seat in the hallway by the bathroom.

When I finally got out of the shower, I found the entire team except Donghae sitting around a single laptop, huddled together and reading. They were going through fan sites, and looking at the response. The response was more or less what I'd expected; everyone was disappointed in Donghae, and thought that he owed everyone an official apology. Some of them had declared that they were out of the fandom while still others demanded that Donghae leave the team. We read with hardened faces, but suddenly after one point, the posts started changing in nature.

I'm ashamed of being Korean right now. Donghae is doing a disservice to this country by being Korean.

As a citizen of Korea, I'd like to apologize to the Chinese fans. I assure you that we don't approve of his actions.

"What the hell?" said Leeteuk with a frown. "Why is this suddenly a national crisis?"

"Something else must have happened," said Yesung, shaking his head. "Look again on some newspaper websites or something."

I watched as Leeteuk navigated through the search site, when we finally realized what everyone was talking about.

Super Junior's Donghae shames the country

My eyes widened.

I understand we disappointed our fans, but - the country?

"That is just nasty," said Siwon with a frown. "Who wrote this article?"

I almost knew the answer before they had scrolled down to the bottom of the article without even reading.

I hoped that it wasn't, but what I saw was what I'd feared.

"It's that reporter that I pissed off at the K.R.Y. press conference," I said quietly. "I'm really sorry."

There was a long silence.

"Well, it's too late now," said Leeteuk, shaking his head. As I just sat on the floor with my head bent in apology, Leeteuk put his hand on my shoulder. "Just get in bed. We don't want you getting sick."

I hesitated, but with more murmurs of encouragement from the other hyungs, I got up reluctantly and got into my bed, feeling so, so guilty that I'd made things worse for both Donghae and the team.

However, it didn't matter whether I went to bed early that night; both Donghae and I got sick anyway. Donghae's sniffles only lasted a day or two, but my fever, sore throat and coughs continued on day after day, and a week later, I was still barely able to get out of bed to do my chores. Ryeowook helped me out a bit when I was going through the worst of it, helping me with the dishes so that I wouldn't have to stay on my feet for too long. I'd been given a surgical mask to keep on at all times, so that I didn't give the cold to the other members, and I was wearing it all the time when I was at the dorm. I ate every meal alone, quarantined in the managers' rooms without even a table to eat on, with much teasing from everyone else.

All of our schedules were cut off, and none of us had any work. Performances were cancelled, promotions were halted. It might just have been the ideal time for me though; I could stay in bed all day, and I didn't have to sing through my sore throat and stuffy nose. A few days later, the new manager gathered us together in the living room.

"The backlash to this was way too big," said the manager. "We've been taken off air on every music program."

My heart sank to the pit of my stomach.

"But what about SM Town promotions? We only promoted Tic! Toc! for - " started Leeteuk, but the manager shook his head.

"Forget SM Town. It's done," he said. I felt myself pale. We had worked so hard to perfect that song, and it's already done?

And now what?

Nothing?

Just sitting around the dorm, waiting for - for what? For the second album?

"But we think now might be the time to promote another sub-group. The public doesn't want Super Junior with Donghae in it right now," said the new manager. I looked up at Donghae, who had hung his head so low that I couldn't even see his face past his hair.

"So they're thinking about promoting a new sub group called Super Junior T," said the new manager. I looked up, interested. "So a few members to sing songs of the trot genre."

My mouth dropped open. They thought this was a good idea? None of our fans listened to trot anymore, it was a dying genre, outdated decades ago. No one who listened to trot listened to us.

And fully knowing that I was the youngest, newest, and definitely not in the position to be in, I spoke quietly.

"Um - are you sure - " I began, but I was cut off with a shake of the new manager's head.

"Don't worry. We're going to do our best to make it work," he said, and he began to name off the members of the new sub-group without addressing my concerns any further.

The drought of activities continued. At the end of the week, though, the new manager finally handed me a schedule while Ryeowook and I still in bed in the morning.

13. Cho Kyuhyun
Friday February 2nd, 2007

11:30am-1:30pm  Kiss the Radio Pre-recording (LT, EH, YS, RW, KH): KBS Radio Studio 1

I sighed a little, although it was muffled by my mask. Ryeowook glanced at me.

"What's wrong, Kyuhyun?" asked Ryeowook.

"It's weird to see such a short schedule, isn't it?" I said, fiddling with it in my hand. "It's almost a waste of paper."

Ryeowook smiled. "But our days end so much earlier. It's so much more relaxing."

"But it's also not as much money," I said with a small smile that was hidden behind my mask.

Ryeowook laughed and smacked my back, which initiated a few painful coughs. After I had wiped the tears from the eyes and looked up at Ryeowook again, he smirked. "Says the guy who can barely even talk because of how sick he is. You're lucky you have no singing performances."

I chuckled and got out of bed, making sure that my mask was secured to my ears.

"CHO KYUHYUN!"

I was in bed, sleeping like a log after what felt like a long day at the radio studio. Although I'd wished for a longer work day, it was only after the recording was done that I'd appreciated how lucky I was that I was sick during the week that I'd been free from performances and broadcasts.

I kept my stinging eyes closed for a second, then rubbed them. It was still pitch-black, and I frowned in annoyance.

I looked at the clock.

11:45pm. Almost midnight.

My schedules were done, we didn't have practice.

Why did they want me now?

I sighed and sat up from the bed and realized that I'd taken my mask off while I was sleeping. A few coughs overcame me, and I struggled to breathe through my stuffy nose for a second when my name was called again.

I sighed again and d for the mask on the bed. I struggled to tuck the straps behind my ears, but then there was another loud yell of, "CHO KYUHYUN! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Frustrated, I tore off the mask and threw it back down on my bed and marched out of the room, ready to scream at whoever was calling me for being so impatient.

I opened the door to the room and walked out into the living room, but once I saw it full with all of the members looking unhappy and Leeteuk and Kangin in the middle of the room with their arms crossed, my will to scream at them disappeared.

I just simply walked closer, and I bowed. I looked around the room and spotted Ryeowook standing close to where Leeteuk and Kangin were, and I stood so that I was close to him; he'll at least be moral support with his presence for me if I needed it.

"Hi, sorry. I'm here," I said.

Kangin turned away from me, clearly in displeasure, which made me fluster; I just watched as he took a seat on the couch and turned the TV on with a frown, then turned my attention back to Leeteuk.

Leeteuk was still staring at me though.

"Have you not seen the huge pile of dishes in the sink?" he asked. "Why aren't you doing your chores on time?"

I frowned. "I did them just before I went to bed," I said.

"That was almost three hours ago. There's obviously a bigger pile of dishes now, after everyone's had dinner," said Leeteuk.

I stared at him. So I was supposed to wake up every few hours just to finish my chores? And Leeteuk woke me up just to make me do the dishes, knowing that I'm sick?

"I'm just really sick, hyung," I said, my voice sounding nasal through my stuffy nose. I was annoyed that he got me out of bed just to do the dishes.

"What are you saying?" asked Leeteuk.

I hesitated, taken aback at the amount of hostility in his voice.

"I mean - may I do it tomorrow morning?"

There was a silence that I didn't expect while Leeteuk frowned at me.

"Cho Kyuhyun, you've forgotten your place," said Leeteuk, clearly displeased. "You're still the maknae of the team, and you owe us respect."

I could feel a harsh chill in his voice, and I was so taken aback that all I did was stare at him. He hadn't used such a tone of voice to scold me for such a long time, and I felt myself closing in: my shoulders slouching forward, my chin being pulled down, my hands being brought together in front of me to be wringed together...

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

Leeteuk frowned, clearly annoyed, and took a seat on the couch next to Kangin. Kangin took a small glance at Leeteuk, then looked at Ryeowook. "By the way, Ryeowook," said Kangin, then both Ryeowook and I looked up at Kangin. However, Kangin just turned his attention to the TV again. "Ryeowook, if you're next to him while he's being like that, shouldn't you be telling him why it's not acceptable?"

I looked at my feet, then I looked at Ryeowook. He looked so angry, and I didn't know what to do except brace myself for his words. "It's not like he'd listen to me anyway, why don't you scold him then? You're the hyung," he said with contempt.

I stared at Ryeowook. I didn't think I'd ever seen him talking back to a hyung before, and I was shocked. "Ryeo - Ryeowook - " I stuttered.

"Are you talking back?" shouted Kangin, looking bothered. I saw Ryeowook open his mouth furiously, and I put my hand on Ryeowook's shoulder to stop him.

"No - no, hyung, he's not, I'm really sorry, it's my fault," I said, flustered. I gripped Ryeowook's arm firmly, but Ryeowook just shook me off.

"Why am I responsible for him? It's not fair. He makes his own decisions and mistakes, they have nothing to do with me," he said hotly.

"Okay, Ryeowook. I'm sorry. I'll do better. Please," I said, pulling his shoulders back.

"Kim Ryeowook," said Kangin with a genuinely annoyed frown, getting to his feet and walking closer to Ryeowook.

"Wait, hyung, I'm sorry," I said, getting between the two and looking up at Kangin with pleading eyes.

"Get out of the way," said Kangin quietly, glaring at me.

"No - no, hyung, he's totally right, I'm responsible for my own mistakes," I said. "I'll do the dishes right now. Please."

"See, even Cho Kyuhyun says I'm right," said Ryeowook, glaring at me and Kangin in turn. I turned my head to look at Ryeowook, and I pinched his arm.

"I'm sorry," I repeated to Kangin, then I turned to Ryeowook. "I'm sorry. I'm really - really sorry. This - this won't happen again."

"You're always ordering us around, and I'm tired of it," said Ryeowook, crossing his arms. "Why can't you do some chores for once? We're not your housemaids."

My mouth dropped open.

Were my ears hearing right? Did Ryeowook just tell the older hyungs to do chores around the dorm?

I just stood there, frozen in place, while Kangin started walking towards Ryeowook and raised his hand to hit him. Ryeowook flinched and drew back, and before I could even think, I grabbed Ryeowook by the arm and pulled him away, out of Kangin's reach. Kangin, whose hand had been about to come down on Ryeowook, stopped and stared at Ryeowook and me both.

A silence flowed for a while, then I saw Leeteuk also getting up from the couch.

"You really want to get beaten, don't you, Kim Ryeowook?" asked Leeteuk, so quietly that I could barely hear.

Ryeowook scoffed. "Oh, sure, hyung. Beat me. Because it's all my fault. Whatever Kyuhyun does wrong is my fault too," said Ryeowook, crossing his arms.

"ENOUGH! KIM RYEOWOOK! GET YOUR DAMN HANDS ON THE WALL!" shouted Kangin. "WHO TAUGHT YOU TO BE SO DISRESPECTFUL?"

And at this, Ryeowook finally closed his mouth and looked at his feet. I opened my mouth to calm Kangin down when he spoke again. "Kim Ryeowook, if you're not deaf, get against the wall," said Kangin.

Ryeowook glared at Kangin for a second, then faced the wall and put his hands against it, almost defiantly while I watched, amazed. When had Ryeowook been this strong for a beating?

As I stood there, dumbfounded, Kangin looked at me.

"Kyuhyun, you get on the wall, too," said Kangin. "I'm so tired of you maknaes. Just because the fans keep on saying 'Maknae on Top', you think it applies here at the dorm. I'm tired of it. Cho Kyuhyun, get against the wall."

I looked up into his eyes in disbelief.

He wants to beat me now?

What had I done?

Ryeowook had been rude and was talking back - but what had I done?

I bit my lip and stood there, shaking, hoping that another hyung might stop it, but no one said anything. After a few minutes, I gave up and reluctantly leaned against the wall, squeezing my eyes shut, suppressing my urge to argue.

I can't talk back now.

I heard the closet door open and I looked behind me to see Kangin taking the broom out of the closet. I faced front as he walked towards Ryeowook and me with it, and I heard him tap the broom against Ryeowook's hips lightly a few times. I turned my head a bit to look at Ryeowook, who was looking flustered, then Kangin stopped.

"Actually, let's start with you, Cho Kyuhyun. You started this mess."

I heard Ryeowook breathe a sigh of relief and saw a tiny smile on him, at which I felt a small surge of anger; I was being beaten all because of him, and he was going to let me be beaten first?

I felt the broom being lined up, and I shuddered and inched away, at which Kangin was clearly displeased.

"Kyuhyun!" shouted Kangin.

I didn't say anything and forced myself to stand still this time, but Leeteuk started yelling, too.

"Kyuhyun!"

"Yes, hyung," I said, barely audibly.

I was holding back tears of fear and hatred.

I don't deserve this.

"Kyuhyun!" shouted Ryeowook.

"Yes, hyu - " I started in honorifics, and then I frowned in confusion.

Wait a second, he's being punished with me, why is he saying my name like -

I finally looked up and into Ryeowook's face, who had stepped away from the wall. "What - what are you - " I said, flustered, and to much shock, I saw him with a giant smile on his face.

"It's exactly midnight," said Ryeowook. "Thanks for being so gullible."

I stared at him. "What are you talking - "

And then suddenly, someone grabbed me from behind and pulled me away from the wall and embraced me in his arms while I curled my arms into my chest in shock.

"Happy birthday, Kyuhyun!"

My mouth dropped open, then everyone mobbed me with laughs as I lost strength. "You're saying all - all this is - "

I only realized a few seconds later that the only reason I was able to keep on my feet because of everyone pushing so close to me, and then I began sobbing tears of relief.