"What - what do you mean?" I stuttered.

The manager hyung looked at me. "I mean we have to be very, very careful about everything we do, from the stage to talk shows to our personal life. And not just you," he clarified. "Everyone. Including the team and the managers."

I bit my lip. "Why wouldn't he have just written a bad article for this and moved on?" I asked.

The manager hyung hesitated. "I obviously don't know for sure, but I'm guessing..." he trailed off. "I'm guessing it's because if he'd done that, he'd only be targeting you, as an individual." He paused again. "It seems to me that he's trying to wait it out until he can target the whole team. But of course, I'm not him, so I'm not sure."

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "I'm so, so sorry," I whispered.

"Again, Kyuhyun - "

"I know, apologizing doesn't help," I said quietly. "I know."

He nodded. "So please, for the sake of the team, start being the professional that you're supposed to be. I'm going to warn the rest of the team as well." He sighed. "I don't know how much that's going to help, because we're bound to make mistakes sooner or later, but..."

"We can hold it off for as long as we can," I finished. The manager hyung nodded.

"Hopefully by which, the reporter has come up with a new target," sighed the manager hyung. "And hopefully, the mistakes we do make are small ones that we can easily take care of."

I nodded, then lowered my head again.

"So let's focus on every detail," said the manager hyung, and I nodded to show him my understanding. I returned to my room just as Ryeowook was making his way into the kitchen to make breakfast.

A few moments later, everyone was up and sitting around the living room for breakfast. I had my breakfast in my hands, but I wasn't eating it; I was given cold looks by every single hyung, and the atmosphere was unusually solemn as the manager hyung told the rest of the team what he had told me earlier.

"The bottom line is, perfection is what we're aiming for," finished the manager hyung, then he got up, rubbing his eyes.

"Okay, we managers have things to sort out at the office, so we'll be back in an hour to pick you guys up," he said, then he and the other managers left the dorm tiredly.

I'd been dreading this morning since the night before. How was I supposed to face the rest of the hyungs? Even Sungmin and Donghae, the two closest hyungs that I had, had expressed their disdain over my mistake last night when they thought I was sleeping. How angry were the other hyungs going to be?

As soon as the door clicked closed behind the managers, Leeteuk put his breakfast bowl down with a clang, and I hung my head. Here it comes.

"Cho Kyuhyun," said Leeteuk. I looked up for a split second, only to find Leeteuk's angry eyes boring into mine. I looked down again quickly. "I really want to know, what were you thinking? Are you trying to bring down the team on purpose?"

I stared into my lap and didn't say anything.

"Do you understand what your actions mean? What it means for the team?"

I bit my lip. "I'm really sorry for being so rash," I whispered, my gaze still not meeting his.

"Do you admit that what you did was wrong, then?"

I nodded silently.

"So now, the whole team has to pay for your mistake," said Leeteuk sternly. "So, Kyuhyun, do you or don't you think you deserve a punishment today?"

I hesitated. "Yes, I - I do, but - I'm not saying this because I'm trying to get out of it, but - " I stopped. I wasn't sure how well talking back was going to work out for me, but at the same time, the manager hyung had said that I had to take care of myself, my voice. Although I didn't say it out loud, Leeteuk seemed to have understood.

"So don't cry, and definitely, keep quiet," said Leeteuk coldly. "Get on the wall."

I squeezed my eyes closed for a few seconds, but I really didn't know what else to do. I got up, walked over to the wall and put my hands against it reluctantly, all the time caught between taking care of myself and listening to Leeteuk. As Leeteuk lined up the broom on my hips, Ryeowook spoke uncertainly.

"But hyung, Seunghwan hyung told us not to hit him."

There was a short silence, and I felt the broom being taken away from my hips as Leeteuk paused. I turned my head to look at him just in time to catch him nodding.

"Okay," said Leeteuk, then he went into the kitchen. A flicker of hope filled my chest, but when he came back out, he had a glass of water in his hand. "He said it was because he didn't want Kyuhyun risking his voice," said Leeteuk. "So as long as we make sure we don't damage his voice, we're fine."

He put the glass of water down beside where I was standing. He picked up the broom, lined it up again, and swung.

I clenched my teeth, determined not to cry, and determined not to let out a single sound. Despite my will though, after I lost count of how many times I'd been hit, tears of pain slid down my face.

Just as a whimper escaped me through my clenched teeth, Leeteuk stopped and I let out a breath.

"Cho Kyuhyun, get up," he said. I wiped my tears away and stepped away from the wall hastily. "Turn around." When I did, Leeteuk had picked up the glass of water from the floor.

"Drink it," said Leeteuk, shoving the glass of water in my hands.

I took the glass, then after controlling my breaths, I took a small sip from the glass through my tears and drew it away from my mouth, but Leeteuk shook his head.

"No, the whole thing. Drink the whole thing," he ordered.

I closed my tear-strung eyes, took a deep breath, then forced myself to drink the whole glass of water. When I finished with much difficulty, Leeteuk took the glass from my hand again, then said, "Get back on the wall."

Then he turned to Kangin. "Get me another glass of water," he said, then he handed Kangin the empty glass.

I ended up having to drink three more glasses of water throughout the beating, then at the very end, Leeteuk made me drink another glass of water. After I choked it down, Leeteuk took the empty glass from my hands again and looked at the rest of the team.

"Does anyone think he deserves more?" he asked. No one said anything. Leeteuk waited for a few more moments before clarifying. "Do any of you have problems trying your best to be perfect because you're too angry at him?"

No one said anything again, and Leeteuk finally dropped the broom.

"Okay," he said. "Then that means we're all going to try to be as perfect as we can, and help each other do that. And that includes Kyuhyun." He paused again. "Does anyone have a problem with that? If you do, you can resolve it now," he said, pointing at the broom. There was another silence, then he nodded and handed me the empty glass. "Have one more glass of water, then get yourself cleaned up and ready for the day," he said, then he dismissed everyone.

I had been worried that my voice wouldn't quite be up to standards for vocal practice that morning because of my crying, but luckily, it hadn't changed at all, as far as I could tell.

And to be honest, as much as I was in pain for much of the morning, I was almost glad that the beating had happened; the cold harshness I was met with before and during breakfast had melted away, and everyone treated me the same way that they had before I had made that press conference mistake. At the same time that I didn't know what the hyungs might be saying behind my back - I certainly learned that it could be dramatically different last night when Sungmin and Donghae talked about me when they thought I was sleeping - they at least had accepted that the milk had spilled already.

I still felt guilty though, and had lunch with Jonghyun in the cafeteria that day instead of with Ryeowook and Yesung. When I returned to the practice room after lunch, Ryeowook and Yesung were there already. I stepped inside and had just started warming up when Yesung looked at me.

"Hey, Kyuhyun, Jungsu hyung wants to see you in the basement," said Yesung.

I was taken by surprise and looked up at Yesung. The surprise quickly turned into worry as I understood what he said. "Now?"

"Yeah, he said he was only in the office for a few minutes between his schedules," said Yesung, clearing his throat to begin practice.

I sighed. Hadn't he punished me enough already?

"Okay, hyung. Excuse me for a few minutes," I said, then I hesitantly walked out of the practice room and made my way to the basement.

I looked through the window of the only practice room in the basement, and saw that Leeteuk was sitting on a table alone. I sighed and swore under my breath at the situation, then after a few seconds, opened the door carefully. Leeteuk turned his head towards the door, and I bowed from my waist.

"Hi," I said. I stepped inside the practice room slowly and lowered my head without looking at him.

There was a long silence, then Leeteuk finally spoke. "Are you okay?"

It wasn't the question I was expecting, but I nodded and replied with a short "Yes."

"I hope you learned a lesson today."

I nodded without saying anything. There was another silence. I was expecting another lecture, but -

"Hey," said Leeteuk softly, then to my amazement, he took me warmly by my shoulders. "I'm sorry for not understanding you. I know you did it because you thought it was appropriate at the time, and you probably had good reason to, right? I'm so sorry for doing what I did even after you realized what your mistake was."

I was astounded and was struck speechless for a few minutes while Leeteuk looked at me with what seemed like sincere apology.

"You did nothing wrong, sunbaenim. I'm so sorry," I said, hanging my head. "I made the wrong decision, and - and I'm - I'm just - so sorry."

Leeteuk smiled and nodded. "Okay," he said, then to my surprise, he held out the paper cup he had set down on the table. "It's just green tea from the cafeteria, but I hope it helps," he said. I took it in both of my hands without really understanding what was happening, and as I stood there in confusion, Leeteuk gave a final pat on my arm and left the practice room.

After what had happened sank in, I made my way upstairs to the practice room that Yesung and Ryeowook were in before with the tea that Leeteuk had given me still in my hands.

"How'd it go?" asked Yesung, glancing at me.

"He - he gave me tea," I said, still flustered. I expected the two to be surprised, but Ryeowook just nodded.

"So we got the part divisions for the three songs," said Ryeowook, then he handed me a few pieces of paper stapled together with the lyrics on it. I took it, but stared at Ryeowook.

"Aren't you surprised?" I asked. Ryeowook frowned a little and shook his head.

"He always does that after yelling at anyone," said Ryeowook. "He bought me cookies the last time he yelled at me. The time before, he bought me ice cream."

"Really? He's never done this for me before," I said, confused.

Ryeowook shrugged. "I don't know," he said, then he smiled. "He's such a good hyung," he said, and after a drink of water, he continued warming up his voice.

We were in the middle of vocal coaching by the director that evening when the manager hyung came into the practice room to listen in. When we looked up, he smiled.

"Don't mind me. I just wanted to see what was happening."

We nodded and continued the vocal lesson. I thought dance at the level that we were performing at was hard because I wasn't a good dancer, but singing turned out to be equally as hard. At the same time that I was a confident singer, fine-tuning ballads to get them ready for recording and performing was just as painstaking. Line by line, word by word, we were given specific instructions on how to phrase each note. It wasn't just about reaching the notes and being in tune anymore. It was about making everything absolutely flawless; taking the right amount of breath at the right times, making sure that each note ended exactly as we wanted it to, making sure that the dynamics between the three of us were absolutely perfectly balanced. By the end of the coaching session of the track that would be promoted, 'The One I Love', my piece of paper with the lyrics on it was covered in writing as I made notes to myself on how to sing each line.

As we ran through the whole thing, the director nodded in approval. "I think we'll need to work on microphone techniques as well tomorrow, but I think the recording later on in the week should be no problem." said the vocal director. As we nodded in appreciation, he glanced at the manager hyung. "How much longer do they have tonight?"

The manager hyung shrugged. "As long as you need them."

The director glanced at the clock, then looked at us again. "Then let's quickly run through 'Smile' and see where it's at."

This song was possibly my favourite out of the three that we were given to record for the drama soundtrack. It was a soft jazz song, and at the same time that I didn't really understand the lyrics fully, I felt like I understood the song as a whole, just based on the tune alone. It relaxed me just to hum it. It didn't strain my range in either direction and I could sing it in total comfort and ease.

We ran through it with the track like the director wanted, then there was a long pause as the director contemplated. When he finally spoke, it was with care.

"For this song, let's have Kyuhyun try singing the whole thing. By himself."

I frowned in confusion as Ryeowook and Yesung's eyes widened.

"Wait, what? Why?" asked Yesung.

"The two of you are singing too hard. Kyuhyun's somewhat - uh - passive tone works better here," said the director.

"But - " started Yesung.

"Kyuhyun's voice is the perfect mix of smooth and warm for this song. You really do sing too hard for this song, Jongwoon." As Yesung bit his lip, the director turned to Ryeowook. "Your voice is a bit too focused for something like this. And Ryeowook, are you having trouble reaching the lower notes?"

"A little," admitted Ryeowook. "But couldn't we push the key up a semitone? Or we could rearrange the parts a bit."

The vocal director thought again, but then shook his head.

"I still think it would be worth giving the whole thing to Kyuhyun, just if I think about the quality of the final product," said the director. As I shifted my weight uncomfortably, I saw Ryeowook look at his feet and Yesung turn his head away in frustration, leaving me to feel as troubled as possible.

"As much as - as much as I'd love the opportunity, I'm just not sure if that's the best idea," I said carefully.

"Why not?" asked the director with a frown.

"Um - what with the circumstances," I said carefully, eyeing the manager hyung. "I made a mistake with the press yesterday, so - "

However, the manager hyung shrugged. "I see no problem with it as long as you do well with the recording," he said, then he looked at the director. "If you want to try it out, it's no problem with me."

I was shocked into silence, then I laughed a little. "Wait, I think I have a problem with it. Yesung sunbaenim should be - "

"Why? Are you unconfident with a solo song?" asked the director. I didn't say anything. How was I supposed to express to him that there were so many things wrong with a solo song right now? It wasn't that I was unconfident - I had secretly hoped for a solo song or even a solo album in the future, but now just didn't seem like the right time given my press conference mistake, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to compromise Yesung and Ryeowook's friendship. When I remained quiet, the director continued. "It's not even being promoted. You just have to do well in the recording studio, and that's all we need. You already sound reasonably good with it, so it's worth a try."

When I still hesitated, the manager hyung looked at me. "It's totally up to you. We talked about passion before, right?" I nodded. "If you feel passionate enough for this, you can do it. This won't affect the newspapers."

I closed my eyes and thought. Was I passionate enough? I wanted it - but was it because I was passionate, or just because I wanted it as part of the accolades that I would have achieved as a musician?

I thought for a few more seconds, then I realized what I was thinking about.

God, why did that even matter? The biggest thing wasn't what I wanted; everything had to be for -

I finally opened my eyes and said the words that took so much to say.

"I'll do what everyone thinks is the best for the team," I said. I almost regretted my words as soon as I said them; I might regret passing this up. In fact, I knew I would. Who knew when I'd be offered such an opportunity again?

But if there was anything I'd learned through that mess of a press conference, it was that I had to stop being selfish. I might not always get what I want, but for the sake of the team, certain things needed to be sacrificed. I looked up and nodded again, much more sure of myself this time.

"Whatever's best for the team."