ISSUE ⑤⑧
Blitz Magazine
WARNING:
1) YUNHO AND YOOCHUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE
2) A BIT OF VIOLENCE AND SADISM
3) IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTING METHODS
NOTICE:
THIS CHAPTER IS FAIRLY LENGTHY, SO PLEASE DO OVERLOOK ANY MISTAKES I FAILED TO DETECT. THANKS.
It was past 3am in the morning and Jaejoong was on the rooftop of Blitz with a cup of already cold coffee in his left hand.
Although he looked absolutely nonchalant about losing his fabulous wedding ring (Kimchi sneakily slipped it on his finger the day after they registered their marriage and said it was only right that they got each other rings), his heart was in utter turmoil. The last time he felt so low was when he was suffering from depression during his teenage years.
‘Thought I would find you here,’ Jaejoong perked up a little when he heard his elder brother’s voice from behind him.
‘Yunnie…’ Jaejoong turned to face the elder before sighing, ‘I feel like .’
Yunho simply hummed in response before taking the coffee cup and replacing it with a piping hot one in the younger’s hands.
Jaejoong smiled gratefully and took a sip from it, only to sigh once more.
‘I’m sure I got you the right brew,’ Yunho frowned.
‘You always do,’ Jaejoong gave his Yunnie an adorable pout and the elder shuddered while looking away instantly, ‘I was just sighing because of the ring.’
‘Ahh,’ Yunho gave the beauty a knowing smile, ‘I know where it is.’
Jaejoong’s face immediately brightened up, ‘WHERE IS IT!?’
‘Since you said you lost it before lunchtime that day, I had to backtrack and look into your schedule to analyse possible places as to where you could have misplaced your ring,’ Yunho drawled, ‘You started the day off in the office and if you had misplaced it there, I’m sure Louise would have found it by the end of that very same day as it has always been her habit to tidy up whenever her direct boss leaves the office.’
Jaejoong shivered, ‘And always finds stuff to write emails to me about.’
‘Let’s leave that for discussion another time,’ Jaejoong gave Yunho an annoyed look, ‘Or not.’
Jaejoong smiled triumphantly.
Yunho continued in his usual drawl, ‘After working hard for a couple of hours, your hands got itchy so you decided to go shopping.’
Jaejoong gave Yunho a sheepish grin.
‘I called the credit card company and got them to send me the list of shops you made purchases in and hence, I went down to all shops in that area asking for-’
‘YUNNIE, YOU ARE ING FABULOUS!’ Jaejoong jumped on Yunho and clung onto the elder like a koala, ‘SO DID YOU FIND MY RING?’
‘Yes,’ Yunho nodded, ‘Could you kindly get off me so I can hand it over to you?’
‘Sure,’ Jaejoong was now jumping up and down like a sugar rushed kiddo.
Yunho reached into his pant’s pocket and fished out the ring.
‘YES! YES! I’LL MARRY YOU! HURRY THE UP AND PUT IT ON FOR ME NOW!’ Jaejoong held his left hand out.
Yunho gave an exasperated sigh and slipped the ring onto Jaejoong’s finger.
‘Oh. My. Gawd.’ A voice came from behind them and the brothers turned.
It was Sumire.
‘.’ She mouthed the word before running away from the scene.
‘Your Jaejoong is having an affair with my Daddy!’ Sumire cried in your arms.
You rocked the 11 year old in your arms while having a confused look on your face, ‘Are you sure?’
‘Jaejoong agreed to marry Daddy…No wonder Daddy doesn’t have any interest in anyone, Jaejoong took his heart a long time ago.’ Sumire sobbed, ‘And I’ll never have a Mommy.’
‘Shh,’ you cooed, ‘I’m sure it’s all a misunderstanding.’
She just wailed even harder.
‘Sumire, what are you doing here in Blitz?’ The spine-chilling voice of Yunho’s filled the entire department and everyone in the Wardrobe fell silent.
‘Don’t change the subject…’ the kiddo sniffed.
‘Sumire, Yunnie found the wedding ring I lost,’ Jaejoong explained, ‘and I was just playing around with your Daddy like I always do. It was just horrible timing on your part.’
Sumire pouted, ‘Ohh…’
‘And now,’ Yunho took his time to walk towards Sumire menacingly, ‘The main topic at hand is the 11 year old called Sumire.’
Sumire gulped in apprehension and hugged you tightly. The poor kid was so scared, you could feel her entire being trembling.
‘What is so difficult in understanding the word ‘no’?’ Yunho demanded.
‘I just wanted to see them.’ Sumire answered in a tiny voice.
‘Don’t you always see them on the television? I even allow you to go watch them live at music shows with your friends despite knowing that there’s crazy fans in the crowd with you.’ Yunho frowned hard.
‘Yunnie, why don’t you watch over her while we have the photoshoot later?’ Jaejoong suggested.
‘No.’
‘Why?’ Jaejoong pouted.
‘What is so difficult in understanding the word ‘no’?’ Yunho repeated himself.
‘And you’re being difficult.’ Jaejoong tapped his foot impatiently, ‘Sumire just wants to watch her idols, it’s not like she’s going to suddenly attack and them.’
Yunho sulked, ‘I’m worried for her safety.’
‘Huh!?’ Jaejoong, Sumire and you cried out in unison.
‘Has it got to do with that bad feeling you’ve been having this past week?’
Yunho nodded with immense worry written all over his face despite it being devoid of all emotion (how is that even possible?).
‘And what has it got to do with the photoshoot?’ Jaejoong got worried, ‘Someone’s going to ruin it?’
‘Something along those lines…but only deadlier…well, at least that’s what I suspect.’
‘How deadly?’ Jaejoong gaped.
‘It concerns lives.’
‘It’s for your own good. Your sacrifice will be rewarded later on,’ Yunho forcefully shoved Sumire into your car and you immediately drove off.
‘You’re kicked out too…’ Sumire looked up at you.
‘Jaejoong didn’t want anything bad to happen to me and our baby…if anything were to happen later on, that is…’ your voice trailed off as you began to worry for everyone working at the photoshoot.
‘Daddy’s special s-senses are never w-wrong.’ Sumire’s voice quivered.
‘And that’s the most worrying part.’ You did your best to concentrate on the road.
Yunho and Jaejoong were now in the lift heading up to Yoochun’s department.
‘Someone erased 2 minutes and 45 seconds off the security feeds 2 days ago.’ Yunho spoke in a deadly tone.
‘Why?’
‘The only thing I can come up with is that…’ Yunho shot the younger a dead serious look, ‘Jaejoong, you left the office with Latecomer, rendering your entire department on the 20th floor empty for about an hour.’
‘So?’ Jaejoong questioned.
‘And I’m sure you know very well that any document transfer within Blitz’s computer system to an external party requires an authentication right?’
Jaejoong nodded quickly.
‘At 3.40, you left the office with Kimchi. From 3.46 to about 3.49, the entire security camera system was tampered with and footage at that duration was erased. At 3.47, your password was used to authenticate a document transfer. I’m sure you understand what I’m trying to get at by now right?’ Yunho looked at Jaejoong.
‘Oh my Cashmere,’ Jaejoong face palmed, ‘I’m becoming a bimbo.’
Yunho simply gave his brother a blank look.
‘I did suspect something fishy when the dry cleaning lady called about collecting the sent garments way ahead of the initial stipulated date but I didn’t pursue the matter…’ Jaejoong hide his face in his hands, ‘Yunnie, I’m sorry.’
‘Jaejoong…’ Yunho shook his head, ‘It’s not your fault.’
‘IT IS!’ Jaejoong wailed.
The lift’s door opened and Yunho had to push a severely depressed and guilt stricken Jaejoong out of it and into Yoochun’s office.
‘Oh, hello you both! Why are-’ Yoochun was cut off when Yunho gave him the ‘shut-up-right-this-instant’ look.
‘Yoochun, if anyone innocent dies today, it’s entirely your fault.’ Yunho stated coldly and the Creative Director could only nod weakly.
‘Why?’ Jaejoong questioned.
‘He was the…’
‘Moron.’ Jaejoong helped Yunho out.
‘Right, he was the-’
‘Moron.’
‘Who hired those sasaeng part-timers.’
‘What’s that?’ Jaejoong raised a brow.
‘Obsessively insane…’
‘ed up es.’ Jaejoong aided Yunho once more.
‘Exactly.’
‘I’m supposed to shoot girls?’ Yoochun finally joined in.
‘Hopefully not, but if they’re armed somehow, and the probability is almost 99.99% since they’re insane…’
‘ed up es.’ Jaejoong contributed.
‘Then our side has to be prepared too.’ Yunho gave a crooked smile.
‘Yoochunnie, you only have one gun?’ Jaejoong looked at his buddy.
‘I think one is more than enough. And even if I let you have one, you would be shooting down ugly people instead of the enemies at hand.’
‘Can’t I at least hold it?’ Jaejoong was pestering Yoochun in Yunho’s car as the 3 made their way down to the photoshoot site.
‘Jaejoong, can you please get your-’
‘Fabulous .’
‘Back on the seat?’ Yunho gave an exasperated sigh.
‘Sure.’ Jaejoong stopped clawing at Yoochun’s blazer wherein the gun was safely hidden and flopped gracefully back onto the passenger’s seat with a pout on his face.
‘So…do I go in like some Hollywood action star and whip out my gun and use my deep manly voice-’ Yoochun had a child-like grin on his face before he was cut in by the eldest of the trio.
‘Yoochun, it’s for precautionary measures. And you can only flaunt it when they flaunt theirs.’
‘That sounded so wronggggggg,’ Jaejoong giggled while rocking back and forth in his seat as he clapped his hands gleefully.
‘What’s up with everyone today?’ Yunho shook his head disappointedly.
The photoshoot site was packed and waiting for the director (Kim Fabulous Jaejoong) to appear.
‘I know I’m fabulous but you’re paid to do work so eyes off me now,’ Jaejoong spoke when he noticed everyone’s attention on his fabulously flawless being.
‘They’re staring because you’re late,’ Young Mi, who was the Editor-in-Chief’s stand in PA for the day, whispered to the beauty while holding a giant umbrella to protect his snow-white complexion.
‘Partly true, but my mouth just naturally runs off like that,’ Jaejoong waved her careless comment off.
‘I thought you would scream your head off at me for my insolence,’ she laughed weakly.
‘I will never again raise my voice at my future sister-in-law,’ Jaejoong gave her a sneaky grin and the Fashion Assistant started to blabber about how her boss wasn’t making any sense.
‘Jaejoong!’ Number 1 came running over, ‘All the Dong Bang Shin Ki members are dressed and ready for the first round of photoshoot.’
‘Fabulous,’ Jaejoong beckoned for Young Mi to follow him like a shadow (she had to shelter him anyway), ‘Oh, make sure you get out of this photoshoot alive.’
‘Huh?’ She gave her boss a puzzled look.
‘Yunnie think someone’s gonna kill someone else during this photoshoot, so make sure you’re not within firing range.’
‘W-What!?’ She gaped, ‘Are you serious?’
‘Do I look like a comedian to you?’ Jaejoong pouted.
‘Far from one, though anyone would look ridiculous in this polka dotted suit you have on,’ Young Mi bit back her laughter.
‘Heyyyyyyyyy,’ Jaejoong playfully nudged his Fashion Assistant, ‘Don’t about my clothes.’
‘Noted,’ Young Mi made a gesture about zipping up.
‘It’s great to see you making friends, Jaejoong, but please be vigilant of your surroundings and call me if you see any suspicious behavior.
ThanksstaysafeIloveyoubye.’ Yunho appeared behind them for a couple of seconds before gliding off somewhere else.
‘!’ Jaejoong clutched at his racing heart thanks to Ninja-Yunho, ‘He’ll seriously scare me to death one day.’
‘Are you sure they’re going to do something to my beloved Dong Bang Shin Ki?’ Yoochun’s eyes were almost teary and Yunho gaped inwardly at how intensely the Creative Director was eye- the 5 artistes that were supposedly able to set every girl’s ovaries on fire and send guys flapping away.
‘It’s either them or Super Junior.’ Yunho replied, ‘I don’t know which one those…’
‘es.’
‘Are targeting.’ Yunho finished.
Yoochun gave a sad sigh, ‘If they lay hands on my DBSK Gawds, I will make sure they get shot a couple of times each.’
‘Sounds like you came prepared for a major shootout.’
‘You know the game called Time Crisis?’ Yoochun looked up at Yunho.
‘I have to unfortunately remind you that I never had a childhood.’
‘Well anyway, I had always wanted to shout out ‘RELOAD!’ just like how the guy does in the game,’ Yoochun laughed.
‘Something tells me that you won’t go home until you’ve killed someone.’
Yoochun beamed and nodded a little too excitedly for Yunho’s liking.
‘I now wonder who I’m supposed to be looking out for; the scheming part-timers or my Creative Director, Park Yoochun.’
Jaejoong was scrutinizing all 5 Dong Bang boys men and despite having the IQ of a genius (that’s what he claimed), he just couldn’t understand why they were so called ‘Legends’ in Korea because all that he could see were pale looking boys with muscles that were just for show.
This so called Micky dude kept speaking in broken English but ironically had perfect American accent, and since Jaejoong was being more Jaejoong than usual (Definition: y or bipolar, and in the worst case scenario: both), he walked up to the said boy man to confirm what he had read off the internet, ‘You came from ia?’
‘Yeah,’ he answered proudly.
‘I think you meant to say ‘’, 'cause everyone comes out from there,’ Jaejoong smirked and Young Mi immediately did damage control by apologising on behalf of the shameless Editor-in-Chief.
The Fashion Assistant then pulled Jaejoong aside, ‘Could you please act professionally?’
‘I don’t understand what’s up with all this hype about those…boys!’ Jaejoong pointed at the direction of the 5 guys who had scandalised expressions on their faces thanks to the beauty’s rather tactless comment earlier, ‘They don’t have the Blitz kind of look! I can’t believe I allowed the Fashion Team to con me by saying they’re Gawds and .’
‘What is the Blitz look?’
Jaejoong pointed at himself.
Young Mi face palmed, ‘That would be impossible to achieve.’
‘That goes without saying,’ Jaejoong rolled his eyes before turning around to yell out, ‘KIM JUNSU!’
The ex-Fashion Assistant turned Stylist came running for his life and appeared before the Editor-in-Chief within a minute, ‘Yes, Jaejoong?’
‘I cannot have those boys almost on operating tables looking the way they are now for Blitz will ing get sued for producing and publishing ography… Speaking of which, I should check out some when I get home… *ahem- Since they look like faggots, we’ll change the photoshoot concept.’
‘LIKE NOW?’ Junsu panicked.
‘Yeah,’ Jaejoong imitated Micky before making gagging sounds, ‘You know how the ancient Gawds look like right?’
Junsu nodded hesitantly.
‘Dump their heads into red dye, curl their hair and wrap them up in cloth, we’re going with the Mythology concept instead.’
‘Gawd, this is even better than the hospital concept,’ Yoochun salivated as he watched the Dong Bang boys lie in a majestic room on countless regal looking carpets and cloth spilled from bales of silk while squishing fluffy pillows and sipping on red wine (it’s actually grape juice stolen from Kimchi’s stash of fruit juices in the fridge of the Wardrobe’s pantry. Shh, just don’t tell her that.).
‘And cheaper too.’ Yunho chuckled, ‘But most of all, I’m sure we threw those-’
‘es,’ Yoochun supplied.
‘Off track.’
Yoochun hummed in agreement.
‘I actually withheld some information from Jaejoong and you.’ Yunho lowered his voice.
Yoochun gulped, ‘You’re scaring me.’
Just then, Yunho’s phone buzzed and he immediately whipped it out from his pocket to read the text.
From: Jaejoong
Yunnie, the photographer’s damned laptop broke down and I’m on my way up to fetch mine. Just make sure no one ing slacks while Perfection is away.
Yunho’s heart stopped.
‘Yoochun, I think it’s time I told you the stuff I purposely left out. But let’s do that while we rush to the Wardrobe,’ Yunho started to sprint off, leaving a stunned Yoochun standing there like a moron for a couple of seconds before waking up to reality and running after the elder.
‘WHAT WAS IT YOU KEPT FROM US?’ Yoochun yelled.
‘The part-timers were either after Jaejoong or one of the 2 bands,’ Yunho stated.
‘WHAT!? WHY DIDN’T YOU AT LEAST TELL ME!?’ Yoochun picked up his pace and jumped on Yunho’s back, sending them both tumbling onto the ground.
‘I have no time to wrestle with you, I have a brother to save.’ Yunho quickly got up and pressed for the lift.
‘How did you come up with that hypothesis?’ Yoochun demanded.
‘Simple,’ the lift’s doors opened and the both of them got in at the speed of light, ‘They stole Jaejoong’s schedule, so it led to 2 motives, one: They wanted to track down their idols, and since Jaejoong’s the head of the Fashion Department, he would have access to all information regarding the photoshoot. Or two: They must either love or hate Jaejoong very much and for a very long time to have found out about his password and stole this week’s schedule of his.’
‘But how come you decided to abandon the stars and run to the ‘aid’ of Jaejoong?’ Yoochun asked.
‘To be honest, this is a 50-50 chance I’m taking, but since I suspect that someone must have tampered with the photographer’s laptop, it doesn’t hurt to at least make sure Jaejoong’s safe right?’
‘True.’
The lift doors opened, Yoochun shoved Yunho aside to rush into the Wardrobe.
‘Jaejoong?’ Yoochun called out as he slowly approached the Editor-in-Chief’s office.
‘I’m in here,’ the beauty gave the Creative Director a weird look, ‘What are you doing here? Oh, Yunnie’s here too.’
‘Erm…just wanted to bask in your perfection,’ Yoochun gave a greasy smile.
‘Awww, how sweet.’ Jaejoong rolled his eyes, ‘Too bad I’m immune already.’
‘We’ll be leaving now,’ Yoochun dragged Yunho out of the department and as soon as they stepped out, ‘OH MY GAWD, YUNHO IS WRONG FOR THE FIRST TIME! HAHAHA!’
Yunho furrowed his brows.
‘What now? Another tingling feeling?’ Yoochun taunted.
‘Jaejoong was acting strange.’ Yunho whispered.
‘No, he was being egoistic as usual.’ Yoochun countered.
Yunho rushed back into Jaejoong’s office and his heart stopped.
Jaejoong was gone.
‘HOW DID HE DISAPPEAR!? ARE THE GIRLS REINCARNATIONS OF HOUDINI?’ Yoochun’s eyes were almost popping out of his sockets as he paced the beauty’s office.
Yunho, in the meantime, was still devoid of all emotions as he searched for the new floor plan of Jaejoong’s recently renovated department.
‘I knew it, there had to be a secret escape route.’ Yunho smirked as he shoved his iPad in Yoochun’s face, ‘There’s a stairway leading to the Fashion Department. Let’s go.’
‘Yunho, how high is your IQ?’ Yoochun asked while he watched Yunho open the wardrobe at the far end of the office, revealing a door behind the many exotic coats hanging within.
‘I never got it checked, but I know it’s substantial enough to finish a Sudoku puzzle of the highest difficulty within 20 seconds,’ Yunho replied, ‘Come on, let’s go.’
‘Did you just go one whole big round to tell me that you have sky rocketing IQ?’
‘Yoochun, I was trying to boast in a subtle way.’
Yunho and Yoochun had finally reached the end of the dark stairway after making their way down 5 levels.
‘And now that I know they’re after Jaejoong,’ Yunho spoke in an almost inaudible voice, ‘The probability tree splits again.’
‘Stop talking in a foreign language,’ Yoochun whisper screamed, ‘I just want to hear the word ‘shoot’, or ‘gun’, or ‘kill themmmmmmm’ or-’
‘Okay,’ Yunho sighed, ‘Why don’t you open the door like how cops do in shows and with the gun in your hand-’
Yoochun flew past the elder, kicked the door open and Yunho gasped inwardly when a gun suddenly appeared in the Creative Director’s hands while he yelled out ‘FREEZE! NOBODY MOVES OR I’LL BLOW YOUR HEADS OFF!’
But there was no one.
‘That’s okay,’ Yoochun chuckled, ‘At least I fulfilled one dream of mine, and that’s to yell in the workplace.’
Yunho desperately wanted to strangle the life out of the moron before him.
(Meanwhile, in an apartment in the heart of the city…)
‘Your Daddy will kill you because you have snort all over his beloved Bambi,’ you commented while stuffing your face with ice cream.
‘I don’t ca-care,’ Sumire sniffed, ‘I will make this s-stuffed toy so dirty that Daddy will never t-touch it ag-again.’
‘You hate this toy?’
‘He hugs this to sleep every night instead of me.’ She pouted.
You just laughed, ‘That’s because…nevermind.’
‘WHAT!? TELL MEEEEEEEEEE!’ She started to bounce on the sofa.
‘Well…Jaejoong gave it to him.’
‘WHATTTTTTTTTT!?’ Sumire started to punch the poor plushie, ‘DIE YOU EVIL THING, DIEEEEEEEE!’
‘Sumire, it’s not even alive.’
‘It’s existence irks me,’ Sumire started to poke at it’s eyes, ‘How dare you steal all the attention of Daddy away from me?’
‘Why don’t you buy a new Bambi for Yunho? Will you feel better that way?’ You suggested.
‘Let’s go shopping now.’
You began to cry.
‘Why are you crying now?’ The 11 year old came over to pat your back.
‘You s-sounded like J-Jaejoong,’ you wailed.
(And now back to the dorks: Yunnie and Chunnie)
‘Why am I so silly?’ Yunho chuckled to himself as he navigated though files within files on his iPad.
‘Excuse me, but if you’re silly, then I’m born brainless.’ Yoochun frowned.
‘Whatever.’
‘OH MY GAWD, you did not just have a chick flick moment, did you?’ Yoochun gasped, ‘Cause you totally did it with that y accent.’
‘I did not.’
‘Did too.’
‘I’m not going to fight with you.’
‘You’re no fun,’ Yoochun huffed.
‘Those part-timers are good, they shut down the security cameras since an hour ago.’ Yunho smirked.
‘Why are you making it sound like a good thing?’ Yoochun looked at Yunho with wide eyes, ‘That’s a disaster! Now, we don’t know where in hell they kidnapped Jaejoong to!’
‘Don’t worry, with my brains and your gun, we’re invincible.’
‘You. Did. Not. Just. Say. That. Did. You…’ Yoochun was stunned, ‘And why is it that the only good thing about me is the fact that I’m carrying a gun?’
‘You really want the answer?’
‘No thanks, I don’t want to fall into depression and commit suicide.’
(Somewhere in Blitz building, with the girls and a y Jaejoong)
‘Can you not use duct tape on me? It’s a to take off,’ Jaejoong shuddered when a girl menacingly came with the black tape in her hands.
‘Sorry babe, but you’re just too noisy with all that constant yapping,’ the leader with blonde hair replied.
‘I promise to shut up,’ Jaejoong sacrificed his freedom of speech when he thought about peeling out the tape from his hair, ‘Oh Cashmere… I’m going to be bald…’
‘Not good enough,’ Blondie smirked.
‘I’ll make an appointment with my fabulous hairstylist and make sure you get the best blonde dye job in the world.’
‘WHAT!? ARE YOU SAYING MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE !?’ Blondie shrieked and grabbed Jaejoong by his collar.
‘Hey, hey, watch it, this is a new thousand dollar shirt I bought with my own money.’ Jaejoong sulked, ‘Yes, your hair is dry like hay because your unqualified hairdresser used a cheapo product.’
She let go of Jaejoong and massaged her head which was throbbing with both anger and embarrassment.
‘Fine, deal.’
(Back again to the dorky duo)
‘Let’s do it old school, we'll manually search though every floor.’ Yunho pressed the lobby button and the lift doors closed.
‘Why did you have to have a 38 floor building,’ Yoochun gave a tired sigh, ‘And what makes you think they are still in here?’
‘Because I have security cameras located outside the building and it’s under surveillance by an external party whom you know very well.’
‘Police?’
‘See? You do have a brain after all.’
‘Yunho, are you on drugs? You’re so un-Yunho-ish today!’
‘Meaning?’
‘Yunho is the epitome of seriousness and blandness.’
‘You just talked badly about your boss in front of your boss.’
‘ASKING FOR THE MEANING OF BEING YUNHO WAS A TRICK QUESTION!?’ Yoochun face palmed dramatically.
‘10 floors down and still no sign of our beloved Jaejoong.’ Yoochun frowned.
‘Let’s go to the 38th floor.’ Yunho suggested.
‘Why?’
‘Gut feeling.’
‘Why didn’t we just go there in the first place!?’ Yoochun shook Yunho violently.
‘I just felt something within me seconds ago.’
‘Don’t bother explaining, let’s just go.’
And within 2 minutes, the duo found themselves on the 37th floor as they planned to sneak up one floor using the stairs, hoping to ambush the kidnappers.
Yoochun was now peeping though the glass on the 38th floor’s staircase door and saw that one of the meeting room’s lights switched on.
‘Meeting Room 6’s currently in use.’
‘By?’ Yunho asked.
‘Who else?’ Yoochun rolled his eyes.
‘Just wanted to ask a stupid question for the first time in my life.’
Okay, so why did Jaejoong willingly agree to follow the girls though the Narnia-like Wardrobe thingy, get diva-napped and held hostage on the 38th floor?
Apparently, they ambushed him in the Wardrobe when he wanted to get his laptop and pointed shavers at him, threatening to shave off his fabulous hair if he didn’t cooperate with them. Poor Jaejoong pouted and resigned to his fate.
When the girls found out that Yoochun and Yunho were outside the Wardrobe, they told Jaejoong to act normally while all 7 of them hid under Jaejoong’s gigantic work desk (who knew it had more than 2 uses: 1) to do work on, 2) to have hot office on with Kimchi).
‘Can I finally run into the room and yell freeze?’ Yoochun gave Yunho his best impression of puppy-like eyes and Yunho shuddered.
‘Yes, you may.’
‘Thank you.’ Yoochun gave Yunho a quick hug.
‘On the count of 3, we ambush them.’ Yunho told the younger, ‘One-’
Apparently, Yoochun must have failed Math because he took off, decided against using the meeting room’s door and instead hurled himself into the glass panel, effectively smashing it into billions of pieces but the more surprising thing was that Yunho was sure he paid big bucks for glass which was supposedly tough to break. Either Yoochun was secretly superhuman or Yunho got conned by the contractors.
Yunho broke out into a smile when did a quick mental calculation (which was completed in a quarter of a second). Yesssssss, the glass was still under warranty. He would get it replaced and then sue the company after.
Yunho grinned when he realised he always had the last laugh, internally.
And he was going to keep that winning steak by attending to the other pressing matter at hand: The 7 scheming diva-napping part-timers.
(Rewinding back to when Yoochun crashed though the ‘almost unbreakable’ glass…)
As soon as the Creative Director smashed though the glass panel, he rolled on the ground to safely break his fall and immediately regretted it as the shards poked though his blazer.
He didn’t wince though because as soon as he got back up onto his feet, he pointed his handgun at the Blondie who was currently sitting beside Jaejoong while the diva painted her nails burgundy.
‘FREEZ- WHAT THE !?’ Yoochun gaped when he saw what Jaejoong was doing, ‘JAEJOONG, WHY ARE YOU PAINTING THE NAILS OF YOUR KIDNAPPER?’
‘Oh, hey, we got bored waiting for Yunnie,’ Jaejoong shrugged as he got back to his task.
‘Waiting for Yunho?’ Yoochun had an immensely confused look on his face.
‘I’m here,’ Yunho brushed past Yoochun.
‘Good.’ The Blondie gave Yunho a devious grin, ‘We will kill Jaejoong if you do not give us what we came here for.’
‘And you came here for?’ Yoochun questioned, gun still pointed at the leader.
‘You do know we have the upper hand right?’ Yunho smirked as he jerked a thumb at the weapon and Yoochun grinned.
‘Nope.’ The leader grinned, ‘If I die, so does Jaejoong, thanks to this contraption… Erm, Jaejoong, can you lift up your shirt?’
‘Sure, why not,’ Jaejoong followed the orders and revealed detonators strapped to his tiny waist.
‘So it effectively bombs this whole place and kills everyone as I presume it’s connected to some heart rate monitor somewhere on you.’
‘As expected, the Jung Yunho knows. Want to see it?’ The Blondie laughed like a maniac.
‘I am not the least bit interested in looking at the body of women...actually, bodies in general.’ Yunho replied flatly.
‘How unfortunate,’ she sighed, 'Anyway, listen up, Jung.’
‘I’ve been listening from the start.’ Yunho wanted so badly to roll his eyes.
‘Fine.’ She scowled, ‘My Dad worked for Blitz for 12 ing years of his life and he just made one mistake and you fired him. Because YOU, JUNG ING YUNHO, are such a big name in the publishing industry, my Dad couldn’t find a job anywhere else for years. He felt so helpless, he just decided to end his life with sleeping pills one night because he felt like a useless Father for being unable to provide his family with the kind of lifestyle we used to lead.’
‘Yes, he was a very impressive writer,’ Yunho drawled, ‘It was such a pity that the first ever mistake he made in Blitz would mark the end of his illustrious career. Apparently, you didn’t hear both sides of the story.
‘Yes, I’ll admit that it was a shame that I had to immediately dismiss such a valued employee of Blitz after hearing about what he had done. Blonde girl, the last position your father held before his dismissal was Features Editor. In Features, our journalists are given the freedom to write about anything except certain topics-‘
‘Like .’ Jaejoong grinned.
‘Thank you for your timely contribution, Jaejoong,’ Yunho gave his brother a quick look before continuing, ‘But he wrote an article that wasn’t very favorable as during that time, the world was in recession. I will not reveal the contents, but it was extremely irresponsible of him to think of it suitable for our readers at that point in time. It was disturbing and shed the wrong light on the Blitz, which would adversely affect our popularity and reputation we had built thus far. If it weren’t for my Father, the then Editor-in-Chief, who looked though the finalised mock copy of the magazine, it would have been disastrous.
‘My father wanted to let your Father off but I viewed it to be too lenient.’
‘And you made him jobless for life.’ Blondie seethed.
‘He left bitterly. And I believed wholeheartedly that he would have also sold Blitz out.’ Yunho stated matter-of-factly.
The Blondie seethed, ‘YOU ARE TOO MUCH!’
‘Your anger is blinding your ability to rationalise properly.’ Yunho spoke nonchalantly.
'I know you love Jaejoong more than anything else in the world, so if you want your beloved brother back, transfer full ownership of Blitz to me. I want to personally destroy it with my own hands before your eyes,' Blondie ordered.
During the exchange, Yunho was multitasking by conversing exclusively using eyes with Jaejoong.
‘I need to know the location of the heart rate monitor.’ Yunho looked at Jaejoong.
‘Okay, leave it to me. But just don’t tell Kimchi about this.’
‘Why?’
Everyone in the room gasped when Jaejoong reached out with both hands to grab the Blondie’s s.
‘Sorry, ually frustrated.’ Jaejoong gave a dry laugh.
The Blondie smacked Jaejoong right across the face and Yunho held back from actually grabbing the gun forcefully from Yoochun to shoot the moron dead.
‘Yunnie,’ Jaejoong called out and when Yunho made eye contact with him, the beauty grinned before placing a palm on the middle of his chest.
‘Yoochun, shoot Blondie squarely in the chest.’ Yunho whispered without moving his lips.
‘Best thing I’ve heard all day.’ Yoochun grinned.
‘You brag that you’ve never missed, but please don’t purposely miss this one and kill everyone in this building just because you want to shoot someone dead.’
‘Can you please keep quiet, I need to aim.’
‘Oka-.’
A deafening gunshot resounded and everyone was rendered temporarily deaf.
After 5 minutes of everyone staring at each other in silence…
‘WHY DIDN'T YOU USE A SILENCER!?’ Jaejoong jumped off his chair and started to -slap Yoochun.
‘Is she dead?’ Yunho knelt down beside the crumpled figure of the blonde girl on the floor.
‘I’m sure it damaged the monitor and I’m even more sure the shot punctured some part of her lung.’ Yoochun kept his gun in his back pocket.
‘You didn’t answer the question.’
‘How many seconds have past since I shot her?’ Yoochun looked at Yunho.
‘Long enough for her to pass on,’ Yunho gave a smirk, ‘Yoochun, clear up.’
‘You mean…’ Yoochun beamed.
‘Whatever it takes so 3 of our-
‘Pretty able asses,’ Jaejoong aided.
‘Won’t be passed death penalties in court.’ Yunho finished, ‘Come on Jaejoong, let’s go before we actually go deaf.’
As the brothers left Yoochun to his shooting spree, Jaejoong spoke, ‘Didn’t know you were so evil, Yunnie.’
‘Whoever messes with Blitz from now on will pay with their lives, I will tolerate no more of such childishness.’
The brothers arrived at Jaejoong’s house to 2 puffy-eyed monsters sitting before the gigantic television watching re-runs of an extremely old season of Desperate Housewives.
‘This programme isn’t suitable for Sumire,’ Yunho broke though the sobbing and the 11 year old came running into his arms and cried harder.
‘Is Super Junior okay?’ The kid asked.
Yunho's face was darker than black.
‘Yunnie’s jealousssssssss,’ Jaejoong sing-songed as he settled on the sofa beside his pregnant Kimchi before commencing to talk her out of crying and looking like as if the world had already ended.
‘Of course I worry about you more, Daddy.’ Sumire pouted.
‘Model answer.’ Yunho ruffled her hair affectionately, ‘I promise to somehow get you a backstage pass to see them sometime soon.’
‘THIS WAS THE REWARD YOU MENTIONED BEFORE SHOVING ME INTO A CAR LIKE TRASH INTO A BIN?’ Sumire beamed and hugged Yunho even tighter.
Yunho just grunted in response.
(Cliché, but 6 months later…)
‘ing phony Louis Vuitton bags, won’t that monster just shut the up!?’ Jaejoong violently kicked off the blankets and walked towards the crib a metre away from the bed you both shared and look down at the wailing baby boy, ‘YOU! SHUT UP! YOUR DADDY NEEDS HIS BEAUTY SLEEP!’
‘Jaejoong…’ you stirred from your sleep, ‘That isn’t the way to talk to our Jaejoon.’
Yeah, Jaejoong and you couldn’t think of anything so you just decided to call him something similar to your husband’s name since he looked like an exact photocopy of the beauty when your boy came out of you last month.
‘He sounds like he needs a diaper change.’ You commented after analyzing Jaejoon’s cries.
‘ faux fur,’ Jaejoong cursed, ‘I have to deal with at 3.46am in the morning. Best ing fate ever.’
You laughed and got back to sleep.
In the meantime, Jaejoong carelessly threw Jaejoon over his shoulders and dropped the baby onto the diaper-changing table.
‘Opps, forgot the mattress,’ Jaejoong lifted the baby up once more and he was crying even harder than ever because he had forcefully landed on his precious fragile head and cute bum on the unforgiving cold hard table thanks to his Daddy who was currently PMS-ing.
Jaejoong put on gloves and sprayed perfume all over the changing area so the smell of poop wouldn’t be as bad.
‘I’ll start you on a liquid diet so you won’t poop at all and that means no more to deal with…’ Jaejoong muttered.
‘I heard that,’ you frowned.
TO ALL READERS: THANK YOU FOR READING...DUH.
TO MY BELOVED SUBBIES: THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING AND JOURNEYING WITH BLITZ.
TO MY 12 UNSUBBIES: YOU DESERVE TO GET SCREAMED AT BY JAEJOONG, SCARED OUT OF YOUR WITS BY YUNNIE AND SHOT DEAD BY YOOCHUN.
P.S.: I WILL STILL WRITE SPECIAL MINI-SODES FOR BLITZ, SO DON'T BE SAD.
I NEED COMMENTS, INSULTS, CRITICISMS, GIBBERISH... JUST WRITE SOMETHING- EVEN IF IT ISN'T A RECOGNISED LANGUAGE OR CANNOT BE COMPREHENDED BY THE HUMAN BRAIN.
THANKS.
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