ISSUE ㊿
Blitz Magazine
SIMS SAYS: I guess AFF rates my chapters M because of the coarse language. But I don't give a damn, I'll still allow my beloved cast to curse like they always do.
50 FABULOUS(?) CHAPTERS PEOPLE!
FUNNY THING IS THAT BLITZ WAS ONLY PLANNED TO HAVE 10 ISSUES... HA.
Nightshift.
You never knew Blitz worked somewhat like a convenience store.
Now you did, and you hated it because the only people who had to toil though the night were high-ranking Blitz employees, other than the team of permanent night shift workers from the mailing room.
And you weren’t getting paid extra for working at this ungawdly hour.
kkkk.
You were supposed to register your marriage this morning but when you woke up to an email this morning at 6am sent by the ever so efficient Louise about this nightshift, you and Jaejoong decided to postpone the whole thing again.
Jaejoong then added, ‘You know what? I just recalled having to settle some stuff before I can get married with a peace of mind. Want to come along?’
‘I’ll go if you plan it and execute it singlehandedly, just like how it’s done with your photoshoots.’ You yawned tiredly.
Jaejoong nodded, ‘Of course.’
And now we go back to where we left off.
Jaejoong was putting on his night cream in the personal washroom conveniently built in his stylish office so you had about 15 minutes of free time.
Smiling to yourself, you took this opportunity to walk around and slack off a little.
A couple of high-ranking Lifestyle and Fashion Department heads were in their offices doing projection plans. You popped by Yoochun’s office to say hi and chatted with him for a while over his recent splurge: A vintage car imported from England.
You went to the finance department to see if Yunho was around.
‘Thought you worked 9 to 5?’ You asked as you approached the ex-Editor-in-Chief.
‘Someone has to oversee the nightshift workers and unfortunately, it’s not Jaejoong,’ Yunho gave you a tired look.
‘Everyday?’ You asked.
‘I’m sure you know how my spot checks work.’ Yunho replied.
You laughed and nodded.
‘I’ll be here till…’ Yunho looked at the time reflected on his computer screen, ‘About 1. Would you like some supper?’
‘Really?’ You beamed.
Food never fails to cheer you up.
‘I always cook for Yoochun and I before I finish my night inspections,’ Yunho stated, ‘So I take it that you’ll be joining us?’
‘OF COURSE! HOW CAN THAT BE A QUESTION!?’ You practically screamed in excitement.
Yunho gave a light chuckle, ‘I bet you haven’t checked out the kitchen yet.’
‘There’s a kitchen in this building?’ You gaped.
‘We have a giant one for photoshoots,’ Yunho replied, ‘But it’s hardly used, so why waste it right?’
‘Right.’ You nodded in agreement.
‘I’ll see you at later on the 35th floor then.’
‘Sure.’ You waved and left the department.
‘Where were you?’ Jaejoong eyed you suspiciously when you entered his office.
‘Flirting with your employees,’ you joked.
Jaejoong laughed haughtily, ‘Like you’re going to find anyone better than me.’
You chuckled and sat across Jaejoong to begin brainstorming for storyboard ideas.
‘You know life’s full of right?’ You bubbled.
Jaejoong took a quick glance at you like as if he was willing you to continue this senseless banter.
So you did.
‘What if life wanted to screw us up one day and makes us all go back in time?’ You asked.
‘Have you been watching too much of Dr. Jin?’ Jaejoong sulked, ‘Yoochun told me to check it out months ago after he did his drama reviews.’
‘It’s ing awesome, you should really watch it,’ you beamed.
Jaejoong rolled his eyes and got back to sketching random stuff on the pile of a3 papers before him.
‘Entertain meeeeeeee,’ you whined.
Jaejoong whipped out his phone, pressed a few buttons and presented you with an episode of the Hello Kitty cartoon.
‘How old are you?’ You pretended to scrutinize his face.
‘EXCUSE ME!?’ Jaejoong looked up at you with wide eyes, ‘DO I ING LOOK OLD TO YOU!?’
You frowned and looked at your watch, ‘I didn’t mean it that way… Shift ends in 7 hours.’
‘Counting down only makes time go slower.’ Jaejoong sighed, ‘Get back to work.’
You sighed as well and stared blankly at your screen.
‘I’m brain dead.’ You closed your laptop, ‘I can’t think of any storyboard ideas.’
‘Let me motivate you,’ Jaejoong said.
‘How?’ You looked at him.
‘You’ll keep working until I approve of your idea. Motivated now?’ Jaejoong smiled sweetly at you.
‘I’m this close to knocking all your teeth out,’ you snarled and got back to work.
From: F&[email protected]
Dear Mr. Kim,
The Finance and Marketing team are pondering on whether to charge your ‘unlawful’ expenditures to miscellaneous or to write it off as a bad debt.
Do advice as soon as you can as the deadline for our auditing is this Sunday.
Sincerely,
F&M Team.
To: F&[email protected]
From: [email protected]
F&M Team,
I am now addressing each and every one of you as the owner of the Blitz Empire and not as your fellow department staff member.
I have already established that Mr. Kim Jaejoong’s expenses will be charged as grooming allowance, just as how it had always been since he first joined Blitz Magazine.
You all are a fantastic team of hard working staff members so I will simply leave you all with a warning: Do not incur Mr. Kim Jaejoong’s wrath.
I have bounced the sending of the team’s rather tactless email to our Editor in Chief so as to secure both your jobs and lives.
Regards,
Jung Yunho.
From: [email protected]
Jaejoong,
The Finance and Marketing Team have raised the budget for our photoshoot for next month’s issue and hence, we have tweaked the storyboards you have already approved to make it more dramatic.
Can we show them to you tomorrow morning?
Best Regards,
Styling Team.
From: [email protected]
Styling Team of Morons,
Issue One: Budget
F&M team raised the ing budget and they didn’t tell the fabulous me and instead only informed you underlings? YOU ALL AND THEIR TEAM TOO.
How much did they raise it by? AM I ONLY WORTH YOUR VAGUENESS?
YOU AGAIN.
Issue Two: Storyboard
Since when did I approve of the scraps of trash you morons presented 3 days ago and totally wasted enough time for me to go though a fabulous hair treatment at a salon you morons can NEVER afford or even step into.
Issue Three: Adding dramatic flair to crappy Storyboard
NO.
ING.
WAY.
I’m not even going to bother signing off this email- hell, I don’t even know why I’m replying you here when I can always go up to your department and kill each and everyone of you.
From: [email protected]
Dear Jaejoong,
I trust that you are doing fine so far on your first official night shift for Blitz Magazine.
During your dinner break earlier at 7pm to 9.30pm, I came into your office to tidy things up so as to make it a more conducive and effective place for work.
Things to take note of:
1) All breaks are only an hour long, regardless of ranking in Blitz.
2) There were a number of prohibited items in your office that are on the company’s banned list, most of which were ual in nature. For your reference, I have placed the Rules and Regulations handbook in your top tray, you can read it up in Chapter 29, page 133.
3) Your prohibited items have also sparked my concern of ual harassment in Blitz’s work environment. Other staff members might walk in on your activities and that would also count as a form of ual harassment, known as Visual Harassment. For further reading on this topic, it is on Chapter 35, page 182.
With Regards,
Louise Lee.
From: [email protected]
Louise,
ARE YOU MY MOTHER? WHY ARE YOU LECTURING ME? I AM YOUR BOSS FOR CASHMERE’S SAKE!
When secretaries or PAs tidy their bosses’ desks, they only scrape the surface (aka desktop), so how come you’re so ing efficient that you have to inspect every single nook and cranny of my office?
I am a healthy man and I have needs.
Do not, I say, DO NOT diagnose me as a Maniac. And even if I am one, don’t ever tell me.
Jaejoong.
From: [email protected]
Dear Jaejoong,
I did not purposely do a thorough search of your office, I was simply cleaning up your work area. Work areas constitute to work desk (entire fixture) and wall shelves, as they hold your work documents and failure to find what you need would lead to unnecessary time wastage and frustration.
Your illegal articles were found in those areas. I did not go looking for them, they were blatantly staring back at me while I organised the two places.
I can actually sue you on the company’s behalf for ual harassment for bringing those prohibited items to work. Mr. Jung can serve as my eyewitness. I also think you haven’t noticed that this email has been Cc-ed to him from the start.
With Regards,
Louise Lee.
From: [email protected]
Louise,
I will only admit to one thing: I didn’t know Yunnie was Cc-ed to this all along.
Jaejoong.
‘Welcome to the Jung Yunho cooking show,’ Yoochun turned his head to look at you and Jaejoong when he heard the studio door open.
You laughed while entering the huge room and sat beside Yoochun.
‘Yunho will be making baked rice. Any objections?’ He looked at you both.
‘I want pizza.’ Jaejoong pouted.
Everyone’s eyes were now on Yunho.
‘100 bucks that Yunho will give in.’ Yoochun whispered in your ear.
‘200 bucks that Yunho will give in only if Jaejoong keeps pushing it.’ You grinned.
‘We don’t have the ingredients for it,’ Yunho finally answered after a long pause.
‘Well, then go get it.’ Jaejoong folded his arms across his chest and stared hard at his elder brother.
‘It’s past 1am now.’ Yunho replied.
‘But I want pizza.’
‘We can call to get it delivered.’
‘No, I want one made by you.’
‘I’ve never made one before.’
‘Then make it now.’
Yoochun handed you the money.
‘I thought you were joking.’ You chuckled.
‘Oh, really?’ Yoochun took back the $200.
You laughed.
‘Yunnie, you’re being rebellious.’ Jaejoong raised his voice a little.
You shifted your chair away from your fiancé slightly.
‘And you’re being…’
Jaejoong raised an eyebrow at Yunho, like as if challenging him to finish his sentence.
‘100 bucks that Yunho is going to say: You’re being a spoilt brat.’ Yoochun muttered.
‘A million dollars that Yunho will STFU and make Jaejoong his Gawddamn pizza.’
Yoochun laughed.
‘I. Want. Pizza.’ Jaejoong said firmly.
Yunho then made his way to the studio door.
‘Wait, he’s walking out? We both lose?’ You gaped.
‘I love you Yunnie.’ Jaejoong waved goodbye to his elder brother.
‘I know.’ Yunho shut the door behind him.
2 fabulous readers did some stuff in their spare time for me so I wanna share them with you guys.
TO ADD ON TO MY ART GALLERY, HERE'S A SNEAK PEAK INTO MY INTERNSHIP LIFE...
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