Sims says: Okay, and so AFF hasn't given me back my Issue 47 yet, so to the peeps who haven't read it yet, I'm really sorry that you'll have to wait till this site returns my kidnapped baby to me. I did a lot of amendments on Issue 47 using this site and didn't save it on my lappie, so I can't just copy and paste from my stash for your reading pleasure. I will inform you as soon as I can get my paws back on it. It'll most probably be found in Chapter 50 or 51 as I'll overwrite the crap I wrote in those places.

Another thing, I know I announced in the previous rant that I would be starting a new fic and the thing is, I scraped it off because I felt it won't live up to Blitz's hype. 

Speaking of which, I have been attempting to improve Yunho's quality of life but it seems like a futile effort. It will probably take a million chapters before I can crack open that heart of his. 

Hence, Blitz will have a PART TWO after I'm done with the Kimchi-Jaejoong arc. 

Yes, that would be my next fic. Sorry for being so uncreative, *hides behind my Pokemon plushies. 

This was your first time assisting Jaejoong with a photoshoot directed by himself.

It hadn’t even started yet but you already hated it.

You were carrying a giant bag with so much contents, you felt like mother nursing a newborn baby with diapers, milk powder, bottles and all the other necessary .

You had dug though the bag earlier and found tons of accessories (Jaejoong: You’ll never know when you need it to add some magic to an outfit), sun block (self explanatory), whitening cream (self explanatory), designer shades (self explanatory), umbrella (self explanatory), make up (Jaejoong insisted that it was in case the make up artist’s stash was insufficient… yeah right), collagen water (Jaejoong: To keep my face supple.) and a foreign looking bottle of pinkish substance (Jaejoong: In case any of the models faint on me. I always tell them to skip meals the day before shoots.).

Unfortunately, your shoulders weren’t the only part of your body that was aching. Your arms were hurting as you were holding an opened up laptop in your hands while Jaejoong and the photographer looked at it while doing last minute discussions for the past 15 minutes.

‘Remember, I need the sun behind the clouds,’ Jaejoong reminded the photographer.

He nodded and walked off.

‘Why don’t you just have the shoot tomorrow, the forecast says it would rain.’ You suggested.

‘You can’t visualize like I do,’ Jaejoong shook his head in pity and you sulked, ‘Come along now, I need to check on the clothes.’

You followed Jaejoong behind with heavy steps.

‘No good,’ Jaejoong made a sound of disapproval during his inspection, ‘Give me my sewing kit.’

‘There’s no sewing kit in the bag,’ you told Jaejoong.

‘It’s in the special compartment.’

‘Oh really?’ you began digging, ‘Wow, you’re right.’

Jaejoong rolled his eyes and snatched it from you, took out a pair of scissors and told the model to hold still as he began snipping the dress.

‘JAEJOONG! WE NEED TO RETURN THAT DRESS!’ You screamed in horror.

‘Relax, Kimchi, I always do manipulations to the clothes, the designers are used to it,’ Jaejoong gave you a quick smirk before continuing to ‘ruin’ the garment.

You had to look away.

‘Needle and black thread.’

You passed it to him hurriedly.

‘Done.’ Jaejoong threw everything to the box in your hands, ‘Photo-guy, we can begin now.’

The photographer gave Jaejoong a thumb’s up and ushered the models to the designated photoshoot area.

You sat on a make shift chair with the heavy bag on your lap and watched for the next 5 hours on how Jaejoong demanded the models to pull of weird looking poses, debating with himself, smack one of the make up guys on the face (Do you need to do damage control?), stole the camera from Lee for a while and told him to step aside because he was being totally incompetent and screamed at the skies for not cooperating with the photoshoot. 

‘You’re a lunatic,’ you passed Jaejoong his bottle of special water at the end of the shoot.

‘Whatever. Anyway, it’s going to turn out… 7/10,’ Jaejoong rolled his eyes.

‘Why? Aren’t you being too harsh on yourself?’ You patted Jaejoong’s back.

Jaejoong sighed, ‘The models were all so stone faced that the expressions all came out ing fake.’

You laughed.

‘We’re leaving,’ Jaejoong draped his arm around your shoulder and led you both towards his car.

‘We don’t need to clear up?’ You asked because that was what you had always done.

‘We’re too high and mighty for such a chore, leave it to the slaves.’ Jaejoong smirked.

‘Gawd, I could get used to this,’ you laughed.

‘When are we getting married?’ Jaejoong asked over dinner.

‘You sound like a girl,’ you chuckled while you loaded your plate with a third helping of rice.

‘Can we like, just register it?’ Jaejoong leaned his head on your shoulder and looked up to you with his huge doe eyes and seriously irresistible pout.

You nodded like a dummy.

‘YAY! CAN’T WAIT TO MAKE BABIES WITH YOU!’ Jaejoong jumped out of his seat, grabbed your face and kissed you senseless before rushing out of the kitchen.

‘Hey! You haven't finished your dinner yet! ’ You called out while your blush was still evident on your face.

‘Getting witnesses now,’ you could distinctively hear his voice as he shouted from his bedroom.

You hid your face embarrassedly in your hands.

Alcohol and you were never friends.

The feeling was mutual even though the other party was just a form of liquid: You hated it and it hated you.

When you were younger, you asked your parents about that foreign looking bottle from which they occasionally drank from during dinner and you knew it wasn’t water because water just didn’t make their cheeks flush red like that, unless they were choking on it.

They laughed and handed you a cap with a tiny bit of soju in it.

‘Go on,’ you dad said, ‘Knock yourself out.’

And it really did knock you out… for 3 whole days.

Your parents banned you from alcohol for life.

But you were celebrating your last day of ‘singledom’ before marriage ties you down (but it’s most probably Jaejoong because you heard him muttering gleefully in his sleep about tying you up and asking you to beg for his c…*shudders).

And what’s better than to celebrate it by binging on alcohol right?

You started the night by telling your parents that you were going to register your marriage the day after.

But what actually shocked them was that you were now in a pub.

After a ridiculous 15 minutes lecture about the fact that you had no affinity with alcohol and getting Jaejoong on the phone to be your ‘guarantor’ that you were going to be home safe even though you said you weren’t going to drink a single drop of that harmful substance, you parents finally left you to ‘celebrate’ and wished you all the best for the future.

It didn’t help when Yoochun was slightly tipsy half an hour into the whole thing and began spilling stuff about how boring singledom was and why he hasn’t met his own Kimchi yet, making Jaejoong laugh till he fell of his seat and Yunho made a sound of disapproval as he helped Jaejoong back up on his feet.

Yoochun was totally wasted by the first hour as he stumbled his way onto the stage, threw the pianist off the chair and took his place.

‘This song is for my best buddy Jae and his girl… It’s called ‘You’re my Miracle’… I mean… You’re Jae’s Miracle… okay, whatever… I’ll just start now.’ Yoochun mumbled into the microphone.

You laughed at his dorkiness.

Despite being in a drunken stupor, Yoochun managed to play the piano so passionately and skillfully.

You leaned your head on Jaejoong’s shoulder and closed your eyes. You felt Jaejoong snake his arm around your waist and rocked your bodies to the tempo of Yoochun’s number.

When the beautiful rendition ended, the whole place erupted with applause.

Yoochun totally spoiled the moment by getting up shakily, taking a few steps before falling onto the ground to cry over the stress of worklife. 

Yunho did damage control by going forward to retrieve Yoochun.

With snort and saliva all over his face, Yunho decided to send Yoochun home.

Jaejoong waved them off and now it was only you and your husband to be.

‘You sure you don’t want this?’ Jaejoong lifted up a shot glass filled with that dreaded liquid for emphasis.

‘No thanks.’ You shook your head and continued eating the mixed nuts on the table.

‘Just one?’ Jaejoong pouted.

You closed your eyes to take in deep breaths.

Do not give in, do not give in, do not…

‘Let’s play the ‘Have you ever’ game,’ Jaejoong suggested.

‘I’m not falling for that trap,’ you rolled your eyes.

Jaejoong pouted cutely at you.

That was so ing underhanded. 

‘Fine.’ You decided to enjoy the rest of the evening by making Jaejoong lose that his own suggested game.

‘You start first,’ Jaejoong said.

‘Thanks for giving me an advantage,’ you smiled sweetly at Jaejoong who rolled his eyes at you, ‘Have you ever…’

You heard that (in)famous Mirotic song in the background and smirked.

‘Danced for a crowd?’ You finished your question.

Jaejoong put down the glass of martini he was sipping and stood up abruptly.

You watched his y hungrily as he sashayed his way towards the girls dancing on the bar top and gaped when he climbed and joined them.

Smirking and pointing at you, Jaejoong started to sway his sinful hips to the beat and you realised that you already had a death grip on the side of the table to prevent you from fainting.

The second his hand grabbed the pole, you felt breathless, sweat running down your back in eager anticipation. The crowd went wild when Jaejoong got rid of his blazer, his well-toned body on display as his rather figure-hugging shirt stuck onto him like a second skin. He worked the stage like as if he was a professional stripper (maybe he was in his past life?), facing the crowd as he bent over, like as if openly offering his (beautiful) up to anyone who wanted it, which was practically everyone in the club. He then rubbed himself seductively against the pole, causing the room’s temperature rose tenfold, earning wild () cat calls from the crowd and you felt your throat go dry.

Desperately needing a drink for your unbearably dry throat, you grabbed onto the closest glass you could find with your hungry eyes never leaving Jaejoong’s tempting body.

Unfortunately for you, it was Jaejoong’s abandoned glass of Martini.

You weren’t entirely to blame because your mind wasn’t exactly functioning when Jaejoong began making ing movements like as if he was ing the air.

Emptying the glass, it took about a minute later to realise that the dryness in your throat turned into a burning sensation.

‘Kimchi?’ You heard a distant voice call your name.

You looked up and realised that you were now lying on the floor with the whole world spinning around you.

‘Hmm?’ You managed.

Jaejoong shook his head disappointedly and helped you up.

‘You show off,’ you slapped Jaejoong playfully on the arm.

‘I did work hard for this physique, so why hide it?’ Jaejoong chuckled. 

You nodded tiredly, ‘The place looks green.’

‘What do you mean?’ Jaejoong asked.

‘I…feel… weird.’ You started to slur.

Jaejoong slapped your face lightly, ‘Are you drunk?’

‘Don’t... know…’ you really didn’t know.

A split second later, you watched the surroundings fade to black…

You woke up to the harsh rays of sunlight beating down on you.

Using your hands to cover your face, you got up and rubbed your eyes tiredly.

You looked around and realised that you were in an empty white room with blinding light.

‘Is this the registry of marriage?’ You wondered.

You panicked when you noticed that there were no doors or windows.

‘This is one ed up nightmare,’ you stood up and kicked the walls.

You started to curse the existence of alcohol.

‘LET ME OUT! I’M SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED TODAY!’ You screamed and started to pinch yourself.

Just when you were about to let out more curses, you heard a loud dripping sound from within the room.

You looked up and at the corner of the place, you saw consistent drops of champagne coloured liquid dripping down from the ceiling.

‘I’M NOT GOING TO DROWN IN ALCOHOL! I WANT OUT! NOW!’ You screamed in horror and began banging your fists on wall.

‘It’s just a bath,’ you heard Jaejoong’s rich velvety voice from beside you.

Shocked, you looked to your right and saw your soon to be husband smiling warmly down at you.

You then realised that he had dumped you in a strawberry scented bubblebath.

‘Oh Gawd, I thought I was going to die,’ you panted.

‘Well, you sure look like you’re rotting to death,’ Jaejoong grabbed his Hello Kitty hand held mirror and held it in front of your face.

You stared wide-eyed at your ghostly white face, which was spotting horrifying red rashes, and some were actually peeling off, showing irksome pus. You looked at the rest of your body and saw that it was the same as well.

‘You’re allergic to alcohol?’ Jaejoong asked.

‘The last time I drank a tiny bit of soju, I was knocked out for days… so I was kinda only expecting to be knocked out this time too,’ you answered.

‘You slept the whole day yesterday.’ Jaejoong said disappointedly as he sat at the edge of the bathtub.

‘W-wait! W-what!?’ You spluttered. 

‘Today’s Monday.’ The night you drank that deadly glass of liquid was on Saturday.

‘We didn’t…’ you were afraid of incurring the wrath of Jaejoong.

‘We didn’t.’ Jaejoong sighed sadly.

‘Maybe… later?’ You asked timidly.

Jaejoong smiled and leaned downwards to kiss your forehead, ‘Sure.’

IS MY STORY GETTING BORING? PEOPLE KEEP UNSUBSCRIBING... HMM...

BUT I DON'T GIVE A ING AS LONG AS THERE'S AT LEAST ONE PERSON READING IT. HA.

JUST WANNA KNOW IF ANYONE SUBSCRIBES TO ME AS AN AUTHOR? 

THAT ASIDE, COMMENTS PLEASEEEEEEEEE???