Date: January 28, 2009

Li an’s P.O.V.

“Hey…” I said trying to get Yifan’s attention. This giant is ignoring me!

“Yi fan! Why are you ignoring me??” I pouted.

I’ve been trying to talk to him for hours now but the guy kept on ignoring me. We’re now in our hotel suite. We went here directly after my little ‘show’ on the beach hours ago.

What is this ‘show’ I’m talking about? It’s nothing really. I want to cure at least one of his fears so I pretended I’m dead thinking he’ll jump after me. And guess what? He jumped. That giant jumped after me!

Flashback~

He then took me in his arms then swam towards the shore. I still pretended I was unconscious. He shook my shoulders and yelled ‘Wake up dammit!’ a lot of times, panic clearly heard on his voice.

I opened my eyes and he sighed in relief. “See? There’s nothing to be scared of.” I told him trying to lessen his fear of heights. I laughed trying to lighten up the mood but stopped once I look at his face. He looked at me with a frown clearly visible.

“You-You tricked me?” He said. I can almost hear the hurt and betrayal in his voice. I suddenly felt guilty.

“I-I was just trying to help cure your fear of heights…” I explained. I did not dare to look up at his face because it was so furious.

“Yifan it-it hurts…” I winced because he’s hold to my shoulder suddenly got tighter and tighter.

“You-“ He was about to yell at me but decided against it and with a scoff he left me and walked away. I immediately stood up from the ground then ran towards him.

“Yi fan wait-“ I grabbed his arm but he yanked it away from me with too much force that I ended up sitting on the ground again. My poor .

I looked up to him and saw for a millisecond the worry and guilt in his eyes. But as I told you it only lasted for a millisecond, it was quickly replaced by a scowl.

“Leave me alone.” He spat then walked away.

I didn’t bother to follow him again because I was too shocked… and hurt. I’m shocked because even though that guy is rude and a jerk he never hurt me physically before. I know that he didn’t intend to hurt me but I can’t help but feel sad. I looked at the scratch my left wrist got and it’s starting to bleed.

“Here.” Our tour guide handed me a hand. He helped me stand up.

“Thanks.” I said meekly.

“I know I should not be nosy but I think you went too far ma’am.” He told me. I looked up to him and he was staring right at me.

“He was really scared. If you think he doesn’t care then think again. It’s best if you’ll say sorry ma’am.” He said then proceeded to walk ahead.

I was rooted to where I’m standing for a few minutes. He’s right. I went too far. I buried my face in my hands.

“I’m so stupid!!!!” I yelled then went to follow the guys.

End of flashback~

But I didn’t think he’ll be that angry, heck I didn’t even think he’ll jump after me!

Why? Why did he jump? Does he… does he really care? Does he really care about me? I shook my head to clear those thoughts away. I can’t think that he’s starting to care.

I CAN’T AFFORD TO DO THAT.

I can’t let myself think we’re getting closer. I don’t want us to get closer. It will make things more complicated than it is. Because if I began to think he’s changing, I’ll begin to change too. I was never fond of change.

“Yi fan…” I tried to get his attention by tugging on his sleeves but the guy didn’t even bulge. We’re sitting beside each other on a couch and this guy kept his gaze towards the television completely ignoring my presence.

After half an hour of me clinging to him, I guess he was fed up because he turned the television off and looked at me with his penetrating gaze making my insides squirm. I guess it’s because of fear.

I let go of his sleeves then cleared my throat. His gaze is not helping at all! “I-I’m sorry.” I managed to squeak.

“Why are you sorry?” He asked.

“I’m sorry for tricking you.” I said looking down.

“I-I just wanted to help you get over your f-fear of heights.” I explained. Why am I stuttering??

He sighed then leaned his back with his eyes closed on the couch.

“That was unnecessary.” He said.

“I know.” And I hate it.

“You…” He started.

“You don’t know how scared I was. I thought… I thought you were dead.” He said in a low voice close to whisper making me think if he really wanted to let me hear it.

“I’m sorry.” That’s all I can manage. I’m starting to feel something on my chest once I heard his confession.

He then opened his eyes and looked at me. Making my insides squirm again, but this time I doubt if it’s because of fear. I looked towards my hands on my lap because I can’t bring myself to look at him. I was surprised when he leaned his head on my shoulder, closing his eyes again.

“Don’t ever do that again Lian.” He said. His voice was not demanding and authoritative. Instead it was like how my dad tries to scold me but ended up hugging me because he was worried. Even though he didn’t hug me like how my dad would I can tell that their tone was the same. The only difference is that Yi fan’s tone was sweeter, much sweeter.

I was speechless. My head can’t seem to think of something else besides of him being this close to me. Instead of pushing him away like I was supposed to do, I remained seated, letting him lean his head on me. My heart beats so crazy and loud right now. I don’t need to see myself on a mirror to know that I’m blushing furiously with this contact.

See? This is the change I’m talking about. I’m beginning to feel these things inside me I should not feel. It all started ever since he declared that he’ll replace luhan in our shop. Who knew that little declaration could make my heart sway that much?

Tsk, I’m so weak.

I was debating inside my head if I should push him off me before the walls I built to protect me crumble and my feelings will take a turn to something that will definitely be a problem in the future, when I felt my shoulder getting heavy.

I looked at him and realized that he’s already sleeping. I unconsciously fixed his hair that was blocking his face. This guy really is handsome. There I said it. Actually I always thought of him as good looking ever since I laid eyes at him but then he opened his mouth, all those praises inside my head vanished. Looking at him made me think that maybe, just maybe, change isn’t that bad.

After all, the deed is already done. I have changed. I will no longer look at him with the same eyes after I realize he’s not that much of a jerk after all. Yi fan always wears this poker face with him. He’s always the cool one, the composed guy, the I-don’t-care-about-anyone-else-but-me guy. But today, he showed me that he’s not that perfect as he looks. He has shown me that he’s also imperfect like everyone else in this planet. And believe it or not his imperfections make me fall for him more.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head on his. I surrender. Denying these feelings inside is tiring. I would just go with the flow and let fate takes its course.

I just hope he’s there to catch me when I fall.

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I'm going to pick up the story line a little faster ;)

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