It's been 6 years since I started this fanfic. I was 11.

It was the most cringeworthy thing I've ever done, looking back at it now. But it holds so many good memories behind it.

One year ago, I saw my favorite idols in person. It was the best day of my life, and the little 11-year-old inside of me was screaming in happiness.

Now she's in tears, wondering what went wrong.

Kim Jonghyun, you were my first bias of my first ever kpop group. You brought into my life laughter, emotions, music, and so many more things. I am eternally grateful for you. 

I am so sorry you had to suffer. I am so sorry people failed you. I am so sorry it was too late, but I'm glad that you are not hurting anymore. This was your choice, and as always I stand behind you on it. It doesn't mean I'm not sad-- I've been sobbing listening to your songs on loop ever since I woke up and saw the news. But I support you. I have always supported you, and I will always support you.

In a way, it's an ugly thing. Music was what you loved doing; it was your life. To think it was the thing that ate you up, that destroyed you from the inside out... it's awful.

In a way, it's also a beautiful thing. You died doing what you loved.

I just wish you could see the world now-- how much people miss you, how talented you were, how loved you are. Your mark on the world will never be forgotten. I will never stop listening to your music, watching your videos, remembering how you influenced my life for the better. 

You are truly an angel. I love you. 

And one last thing... you did well. You did very well.

Go be happy now.

Love,

Kyra (aka dino-nerd525, my first username inspired by you)