After I told Wendy about my situation with Sehun we decided to speak about happier things. Like, obviously, what would our graduation dresses color be. I’m seriously fine with anything but Wendy is very meticulous and even the color of her dress matters a lot. We agreed to go shopping on Thursday after the exams, since the ball would be in the afternoon. Wendy is already excited but I’m really not. It’s not that I don’t have a date, I just don’t know what to expect. Last years I didn’t attend since I had no friends and I was scared that if I go Sehun and his friends would target me there as well. Thinking of Sehun, I grew curious who he’d go with. Did he already have a date? I mean, with his looks he obviously has a date. And here I am, dateless, not that I mind it’s just...I’d like to feel important and pretty for at least a night. But that, I won’t worry about, if I’m going with friends everything will be alright.

The hallways were quite empty since I was early, I made my way towards my locker quietly, reading the message my dad left for me. As I was in front of Kyungsoo’s locker, I heard hushed voices. I rose my head only to be surprised to find Sehun and Mrs. Kim. Mrs. Km didn’t look too happy and Sehun was glaring at her.

“What do you mean, Sehun?” Mrs. Kim asked, hands on her hips.

“I said, I’m not going” Sehun shrugged, still glaring at Mrs. Kim.

“Son, I’m doing this only for you and Junmyeon...you think I’d bother so much if you and Junmyeon weren’t involved in this?” Mrs. Kim’s voice rose a little bit and I stayed quiet, biting my lower lip. I should probably turn around and leave them alone but I was curious.

“But I’m not going to the ball with Hana, I have no idea how you even thought about something like that” Sehun rolled his eyes, palms turned into fists.

“Your father wanted me--”

“Exactly! I’m done doing what he wants me to do!” Sehun shouted, eyes narrowed “I hate him and Hana and this life! Why can’t something go my way for once?”

“Sehun, I’m sorry, okay?” Mrs. Kim placed a hand on his shoulder “I know if Mirae was here she’d--”

“Stop talking about my mother!” Sehun pushed Mrs. Kim back roughly and my eyes widened “You are not her and you will never be! No one will be! She was the only one who cared for me and if she was still here she wouldn’t force me like you do! Quit acting, Mrs. Kim. I’m done with everything, I’m tired”

As Sehun turned around to storm off, our eyes met and I looked down. He looked so bad, bangs under his eyes, lips trembling. He was about to cry and my heart just broke a little bit because I couldn’t do anything to help him. I can’t let my feelings win again, I’m stronger than that. Loud footsteps stormed away and a loud sigh followed them, Mrs. Kim was looking at me now, looking tired as well.

“I’m so-sorry--I didn’t mean to eave-eavesdrop” I stuttered, cheeks red. Even though Mrs. Kim seemed really hurt by Sehun’s earlier words, she smiled at me warmly.

“No, darling” She ran a hand through her hair “This wasn’t the right place to have that conversation, you were just passing by. Oh, didn’t you say your locker is across from Sehun’s?”

“That’s right” I nodded and finally walked up to my locker, opening it quietly.

“Chae-Yeong…” Mrs. Kim trailed off as I turned to look at her “What happened to Sehun? He won’t speak to me and he’s ignoring Junmyeon”

Suddenly I felt bad, it’s my fault he’s like that. I made him be like this by refusing him and saying the ugly truth, that ended up hurting both of us.

“I don’t know, we don’t speak anymore” I muttered, looking at the ground.

“He’s been ignoring you too?” Mrs. Kim sighed, eyebrows furrowed “I’m afraid this is the breaking point for him. He never really got over Mirae’s death and now his father is being too stern...I’m running out of ideas”

Mrs. Kim chuckled as I looked up at her, seeing her hopeless and sad for the first time.

“I was hoping that maybe you could pull him out of this dark hole, I guess not” She muttered quietly “He did bad things to you, didn’t he?”

“That’s--in the past” I muttered, biting my lower lip. If even Mrs. Kim knew.

“Thank you” She smiled widely at me, eyes filling with tears “For being there even after he was mean to you. You really were the light in his darkness and I know that he changed because you were there, Sehun will be an amazing man all thanks to you. He was suffering of severe depression after his mom died but lately, his diagnosis got better and better. I didn’t understand how and why so suddenly, but now I know. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you are both not fine...give him time”

I tried to take in all the information but my head only started to hurt. I had one question I wanted to desperately ask, who is Hana? But why can’t I ask it? Because it feels wrong to be jealous after my decision of staying away.

“I need my justice, what’s done is done. If Sehun needs to suffer like I did, he will” I told Mrs. Kim firmly and she nodded, her smile disappearing a little.

“Of course, but now--” She clapped her hands together, like nothing happened “I have so much to do for the ball!”

“Are you organizing it alone?” I asked, grateful that she changed the subject. It felt like these days I spoke and thought about Sehun more than before when we were still friends.

“Yes, but I do have help” Mrs. Kim pouted “Although, I wish it was easier”

“I imagine it must be hard” I muttered and Mrs. Kim nodded, taking her purse from the ground.

“Well, now I must go or I’ll be late for an appointment” She walked closer and patted my head with a grin “Have a nice day, darling”

I smiled and bowed, then watched her walk away. Why am I finding more about Sehun now that I finally decided to get him out of my life? How is this helping me in forgetting him?

School came to an end earlier and if I was dateless this morning, I was leaving school while having a date. Like Wendy said, Jackson asked me to be his date for the ball and I gladly accepted. He said he didn’t find a serious and understanding girl in this school that he could like, so he prefers to go with me, a real friend and support. I smiled at his words and thanked him happily but when I turned around I was met with Kyungsoo pouting. He said he wanted me to go with him and now he had to go with Wendy. I told him he’s not really supposed to go with Wendy, but he insisted she was close