I barely got some sleep, my mind was flooded with memories of what happened and my mind couldn’t stop replaying the scene of me pulling Sehun out the water. And then there was the question what if I didn’t go to the pool and decided to eat with Wendy lunch in the canteen. It would have been a disaster and Oh Sehun would be dead now. He wouldn’t exist anymore, my bully would be gone. I would be free of his terror, but the question is….how would I feel? Would I actually be happy? Of course not, how could I be when someone I used to know, even though we weren’t friends, died? I would probably be a little bit sad even if Park Sooyoung died, because even though I don’t like her, I can’t wish something like that for her to happen. I’m not that kind of person, and this is where Oh Sehun is always wrong. I would never wish for someone to die, because that’s just horrific. I’m a good person and instead of turning into someone like my bullies, I prefer to stay with my head on my shoulders and become someone better and stronger.

I don’t know why I expected something different the next morning I walked inside school. Because let’s be real, Sehun did say he didn’t want the whole school finding out so I really don’t know why I expected something to happen. I quietly walked to my locker, feeling the stares I got were judging. It felt like on my forehead was a sign saying that Song Chae-Yeong saved Oh Sehun and stayed with him until he felt better. But the truth is, people were staring because I’m Song Chae-Yeong, not because they know what happened. If they knew, the whole school would be buzzing instead of looking dead.

Opening my locker, I placed inside my backpack and took out my sketchbook. It was our first class and as much as I don’t like it because I’m not talented in drawing, I don’t have a choice but to attend it since it raises my grades as well. Shutting my locker closed with a sigh, I turned around, ready to head for class. However, before I could even walk away, Sehun’s gaze on me stopped me. He was just looking at me, face blank and I was half expecting him to mock me for the way I look or just push me against my locker and be his old self. But he didn’t actually do anything, just stared. The feels of his arms suddenly flashed in my mind, a shiver running down my spine. No, that’s wrong, why would I remember such thing? Clearing my throat, I walked away before any other memories from yesterday could come back. I decided what happened yesterday is in the past and I won’t ever think about them. It’s his choice what he does, I won’t try to stop or help him next time...hoping there will be no next time.

Long break approached quickly once again, and I found myself in front of my locker, sorting out the papers I had due next week. I have one literature project for next week and I need to hand in some papers for Maths that will help me with my midterm grades.

Taking my lunchbox from my locker, I closed it and wanted to head for the pool. But there was a fear inside me I would find Oh Sehun there once again and I really don’t wish to see him. Plus, the place that once gave me reassurance now turned into a place I somewhat feared to go to. Sighing, I turned around realizing I had to eat in the canteen, but I came face to face with a happy Wendy.

“Chae!” She exclaimed, raising her palm “Give me a high five!”

“Why?” I asked confused, but still gave her a high five, our palms creating a loud sound.

“Just because!” Wendy chuckled, winking at me “I wanted to lift your mood”

“Oh” I stared at her confused, not entirely understanding her behavior.

“Okay, so--are you coming to the canteen?” She asked with a smile and when I nodded she chuckled, joining our arms.

“Cool, Jackson told me you’d come and eat with us one day” Wendy spoke in her usually cheerful tone.

“Jaebum will be there too?” I asked, raising my eyebrows at Wendy.

“Oh, you met Jaebum!” She exclaimed, sounding amused as I nodded at her.

“He was with Jackson a few times” I explained, pushing the doors open for Wendy and I.

“He’s a really nice guy” Wendy said with a smile “I have to get food, but you go find Jackson”

“Okay” I nodded, walking away from Wendy, looking around the big canteen. Every table was occupied by now and I was hardly able to make out everyone’s face in this big chaos. However, Jackson was hard to miss when he was standing on the chair, explaining something animatedly to his table. With a quiet sigh, I walked towards their table, clutching my lunch box tighter when I saw there were actually more people at the table. I felt anxious as I stopped beside their table, not helping the snickers coming from the next table. It was the soccer team but Byun Baekhyun was sitting with them so the nicknames and loud pig noises were unavoidable.

“Oh, Chae-Yeong!” Jackson exclaimed when he spotted me, stepping off his chair “I see you decided to join me”

“Yeah, I guess I got lonely by now” I chuckled embarrassed when the boys from the table were staring at me. Why are there so many boys? That means Wendy is the only girl in this circle and now me--which makes me feel uneasy. You know I don’t exactly like males.

“Come, sit down” Jackson patted the empty spot between him and Jaebum. Grateful that I didn’t have to sit beside a stranger, I quickly occupied my spot looking up at the boys who were staring at me curiously. The pig noises from the soccer table got louder and Jackson turned towards them harshly.

“ it up, yeah? You passed the zoo, should we bring you back there?” He hissed at them, the always happy and friendly Jackson gone. It amazed me how protective and serious Jackson could become, it’s like it wasn’t even him anymore. There were a few reactions from the table, but slowly the annoying sounds died down, leaving Byun Baekhyun glaring at me.

“These are my friends” Jackson said, back to his old self, turning towards me.

“Hey, I’m Chae-Yeong” I muttered, still feeling uncomfortable.

“I’m BamBam” The boy across me said with a big grin, forcing be to return a smaller one. He looked just so genuine, I don’t see why I should be rude towards him.

“I’m Yuta, nice to meet you” The boy with ashy brown hair introduced himself with a big smile, making me nod at him. Were Jackson’s friends all so smiley and friendly? That’s really interesting.

“Heechan” The boy with black hair said, eyes quite bored as he stared at me. Oh, he looks pretty normal, only one not smiling.

“Be nice” Jaebum muttered at the younger boy, making him shrug.

“Okay” A chirpy voice exclaimed from behind me “I wanted to sit beside Chae”

“How about you sit here?” Yuta, still smiling brightly, offered with a sweet tone.

“Are you Chae-Yeong?” Wendy asked with a huff, making Yuta shake his head.

“No, but there’s still enough room for you” He shrugged, going back to his lunch. Opening my lunch box, I quietly started eating watching Wendy walk and sit beside Yuta with a sigh. She smiled apologetically at me before starting to eat. It was fine, besides, Jaebum wasn’t making me uncomfortable so I had no problem sitting beside him...and I’m already used to Jackson. The table was silent as everyone was eating, but Heechan didn’t stop glaring at me and I couldn’t stop myself from glaring back, it was a defense mechanism...what was his problem either way?

“Why is she sitting with us when she has her own lunch?” He spoke up, voice cold.

“Is that even a logical reason?” BamBam asked with a roll of his eyes, ignoring the look he got from Heechan in return.

“I’m just saying...she even brought her own food, so why is she eating in the canteen--plus the whole Oh Sehun table has been staring at us since she sat down and I really don’t enjoy it, since people who usually hang out with bullied ones get in trouble and--”

“Enough” Jaebum’s voice was hard as his head snapped up at Heechan. I gulped down my food, quietly closing my box as my appetite was gone.

“Do you know Song Chae-Yeong personally? Why does it bother you if that table is staring? Let them, maybe they have nothing better to do” Jaebum snapped at Heechan who only scoffed “Don’t forget where you come from, Heechan. And don’t speak like that when you were once like that too”

“Well, sorry...I guess this is why I am the way I am...because I was once like her” Heechan scoffed, standing up and storming off. I stared after him surprised, glancing at Jaebum when he nudged my shoulder with his.

“Don’t worry, he’s a nice guy” He muttered, going back to his lunch.

“He was bullied in middle school” Yuta suddenly spoke up, his bright smile gone “I went to the same school as him and I know everything. Things got really far and he was hospitalized, close to dying. His bullies suffered a lot too because of that...but when Heechan woke up he wasn’t like he used to be. I guess some experiences just change people”

“That’s why we are here” Wendy muttered, looking at me “Friends only want what’s good for you, it’s okay to let people in” I nodded, clutching my lunch box and standing up.

“Thank you for letting me join you, but I will be going now” I bowed a little before walking away, heading for my locker to get my books for my last periods.

Fumbling with the lock, I cursed silently when I coul