a/n: this was requested ages ago im so sorry exid021612 - if you read this anyway sjsjs hopefully you do since it's your request and i hope you enjoy it as well as the rest of you :)

Sometimes, Chaeyoung really loved Lisa.

How could she not? Lisa was there for her, always caring and patient- sometimes she was childish and immature, but when it came down to it, Lisa was probably her best friend. She loved Jisoo and Jennie, but Chaeyoung always felt the closest to Lisa. And she hoped Lisa felt the same way.

Except, she didn't. And deep down, Chaeyoung knew that.

~~

"If you were a guy, who in the group would you date?" Chaeyoung read out, giggling at the end of the question. Everyone thought for a moment, the others gesturing for Lisa to go first.

"I'd date myself." Lisa said cheekily, giggling evily afterwards. Chaeyoung rolled her eyes, smile on her face. "No, actually I think I'd date..." She trailed off, looking at each member carefully. Her eyes came to Chaeyoung, the dark haired girl holding her breath in anticipation. But then Lisa's eyes were ripped away, stolen by a certain girl right beside Chaeyoung.

"Jennie unnie!" Lisa said, smirk on her face.

"Tell us why." Jisoo said.

"She's y." Lisa replied without hesitation.

Chaeyoung tried not to let the pain show on her face. She tried to keep her tears inside, opting instead to 'ooh' and 'ahh' like the rest of the members and crew at Lisa's answer. But her ears felt clogged, heart felt too heavy in her chest. She barely heard Jisoo saying she'd date her- a small compliment that lifted her spirits just slightly in that moment. When it finally got to her turn, she felt the pain her chest once again.

She should really be given an Oscar for her performance, though. Considering how much her heart broke, she still managed to keep a happy face on. She looked at each memeber separately, heart fluttering a little at how desperate Lisa seemed to be at being picked. It made the corner of her lips turn up.

But she couldn't say it. She couldn't say who she really wanted to date- the lump in coming back. She swallowed it down as she faintly heard Jennie saying something about being a good cook. She quickly latched onto that.

"Heol, that's enough. I think I'll date Jennie." Chaeyoung said, giggling. Chaeyoung vaguely heard Lisa shouting "no" at her, but she didn't want to listen. She hoped Lisa felt the sting that she did.

Chaeyoung barely looked at her the rest of the broadcast.

~~

"You're so cute, unnie!" Lisa said, cooing at Jennie's cute gestures to the camera. Chaeyoung glanced at them from across the table, then stared down at her food. She was supposed to feel happy- supposed to feel proud of being a year old as a group. So why did she feel like disappearing and never coming back?

A shriek caused her to shoot her eyes up, seeing the aftermath of Lisa kissing Jennie's cheek. Her stomach churned, sadness and jealousy swirling inside of her as she looked on, Lisa giggling and Jennie pretending to be annoyed with her. Chaeyoung just looked back down at her food, ignoring the blatant displays of affection in front of her.

When they got back to the dorm, Chaeyoung went straight to her room. She didn't mention why she was suddenly so down- Lisa constantly asking her what was wrong was getting on her nerves. She didn't want to speak to anyone, let alone her.

But it seemed the Gods were against her, because once she settled onto her bed to scroll through her phone to distract herself, Lisa barged into her room.

"Chaeyoungie, why are you sad? It's our one year!" Lisa said, sitting down on the bed with a pout on her face. Chaeyoung barely paid her any attention, only shrugging as response. Lisa's pout turned into a deep frown, the girl tapping on Chaeyoung's leg. "Yah, what's up? You can talk to me, you know."

And there it was. Lisa being the patient and kind person she was. Chaeyoung knew she was concerned- and she hated that it warmed her heart to the point where she just wanted to break down in her arms. But she couldn't.

"I'm fine." Chaeyoung said, glancing up at her. Lisa didn't seem convinced, eyebrows furrowing as she stared back at Chaeyoung.

"You don't seem fine." Lisa replied. Chaeyoung sighed deeply through her nose, looking down at her phone again.

"Just go, Lisa. I'm tired." Chaeyoung said firmly, jaw clenching. Lisa didn't look like she wanted to leave, but she slowly got off the bed. She stared at Chaeyoung for a few seconds, the dark haired girl not meeting her eyes. Lisa sighed