bluedynamite : Gaea Academy for Baets and Magical Creatures

Characters. all members of VIXX

Status. Ongoing

Description. On Wonshik's first day at Gaea Academy, he had accidentally set his favorite snapback on fire while talking to a rather attractive upperclassman. He then proceeded to—accidentally, mind you—set fire to the upperclassman's shirt.

One could say that Wonshik had gotten hot and bothered.

And that the upperclassman was literally smoking.
 

STORY LINK

Story title. 2/5
The title didn’t really catch my attention if I’m being totally honest with you. Although it vaguely implies that the story will have fantasy and supernatural elements to it, it doesn’t give the readers a sense of thrill or excitement for them to want to continue reading. It doesn’t really tell us anything about the plot or the characters, apart from the fact that this story will be about those in the academy.


Description, foreword & tags. 10/10
I really like your description! In comparison to your title, I feel that your description is more effective at drawing in your readers. The description is short, but it certainly got my attention. Not to mention that I started laughing as soon as I read the last two lines!

Your tags seem fine to me!


Appearance: graphics. 2/5, layout. 5/5
Your poster is well made, but unfortunately it doesn’t fit with the theme of the story. As your story contains magical powers, I feel like the poster should look more ethereal and magical, maybe with things that hint towards the characters’ powers as well. Right now, it seems like a poster for an ordinary school plot, which doesn’t really contribute much.

The overall layout and display of your story is very simple and clean. It makes your story easy to read without having too many distractions.


Characterisation. 10/15
At first, I thought you have picked Wonshik as your main character, but it seems like all six members of VIXX are the mains. It’s not necessary a bad thing, but there will be a lot work that you will need to do in order to make sure that all six of them get the same attention from you as the writer. At the moment, I think apart from Sanghyuk and Hongbin, the others have been written to some detail - make sure you give Sanghyuk and Hongbin the same amount of detail in the future too!

Wonshik is the character that leads us into the academy through his experience of attaining his power of fire. It’s interesting to see his journey from a normal world to the magical world that he never seem to know existed. He was confused and puzzled because of his powers, but thankfully, his family is very supportive of him (most likely because his mother has a power too) and with that, he is probably one of the most fortunate person among his group.

I won’t go into detail with the other members, because I feel like I can get the most out of Wonshik, while the others will take some more time. At the moment, I think you have developed the characters pretty well. You’ve created them in a whole different dimension, and that is certainly not an easy thing. I like the idea of the student profiles, since it tells your readers about your characters beforehand. But at the same time, I feel like it would be more effective if you allowed your readers to find those things out by reading your chapters - that way you readers will most likely feel more connected to them than reading their information from a small profile.

However, I think there is a lot of room for more development and depth in your characters, as they are quite ‘shallow’ (in the sense that not a lot is known about them in depth). I hope that with more chapters to come, more will be known and learnt about this group of six boys.


Plot. 10/20
Honestly speaking, your plot isn’t the most original and unique plot out there. People with magical powers is certainly not a rare idea in the world of fiction, and especially since VIXX has done a lot of different concepts, they are almost always linked to supernatural beings and whatnot. Not only you have magical powers, but you’re also writing about a magical school, and the experiences of someone gaining a power and then going to the school. I think the whole concept around your story isn’t very new or unique. However, that doesn’t mean your story is bad or anything like that. In fact, I think this gives you a good opportunity to try out different things that no one else has done before, especially since you’re writing about a world that doesn’t exist. This plot gives you a lot of freedom for imagination and creativity - so go wild with your ideas!

At the moment, there really isn’t a lot I can say about the plot, since there aren’t many chapters available for reading and analysing. But, I think you’ve made a really good start. You’ve introduced your characters one way or another, and you’re beginning to add more to the basic plot you’ve laid down. It seems that romantic feelings are beginning to surface, and it’s always interesting to see how authors progress throughout the story regarding romance. They way Wonshik is learning new things about his new friends is a good method of telling your readers about your characters, which I think is easy to relate to and to understand.

For now, I would say you should focus on adding more ‘layers’ to the story, but keeping the original plot you have created in mind so you don’t go off in too big of a tangent. I would suggest giving your characters more depth, as I have mentioned before.


Consistency/flow. 10/10
The flow of the story seems pretty good at the moment. The plot isn’t too rushed or too draggy.


Grammar, spelling & punctuation. 15/15
I see no major mistakes with your grammar, spelling and punctuation - well done!


Writing style. 4/5
The way you’re writing is very easy to understand and comprehend. You write a little bit of description/narration, and then you give the reader a little bit of conversation. I think the balance between the two, since you won’t get too bored of constantly reading descriptions nor will it get irritating with reading dialogues all the time.

However, what I would say in your case is that some terms of magical powers are hard to understand. I think you will benefit from making a glossary of some sort that will have the explanations to each power so your readers can familiarise themselves with it without having to look up what each power is in the middle of reading.


Structure. 5/5
You have used paragraphs perfectly, well done!


Readers' response. 5/5
Your statistics look very good in my eyes, with consideration of the length of time since you have published your story. I’m pleased to see that your readers are giving you quality comments (which are comments that aren’t the usual ‘please update’ ones), and what I’m more pleased about is that you are replying to all of your comments! Please keep up the communication between you and your readers, as that is the key to make your story a success!


Overall enjoyment.
It’s been a long, long time since I’ve last read a VIXX story. And I have to say, reading this story really made me feel relaxed and light. I liked reading about the different characters and their interesting powers and what they did to get into detention and whatnot. Although I’m a Neo shipper, I found the scene between Taekwoon and Jaehwan totally adorable! Do keep up your good work!
 

total grade : 78/100

Notes