SELENOPHILIA : Fading

Characters. Park Jiyeon and Kim Taehyung

Status. Completed

Description.
What it’s like to be cheated on by someone you love more than anything?
At first, you don't want to believe what you're hearing.
Your world, as you knew it, crumbles.
Your ego gets hurt, and you begin to question yourself.
You do your best to figure out a way to keep going.
 

STORY LINK

Story title. 5/5
One word titles are most likely to captivate the essence of the story and triggers the attention of the readers. This simple word has so much meaning to it. When reading the story, you made the right choice by picking "Fading" as your title. It does suit the storyline very well, as the main character is literally fading away in the memory of how it is was, it's not possible yet for her to move on as she is too much stuck in the past.


Description, foreword & tags. 8/10
DESCRIPTION
Although, we only have a few sentences, it does display the feel of the story. I think when experiencing this personally, you can relate to this very well. The information given is relevant to the story as you convey the thoughts and feelings of the main character. Well done!

FOREWORD
You just used your foreword to inform us about the upcoming events in your personally and you also apologise to your readers for it. It's more like an author note than a real foreword.

TAGS
The tags used for this are very suitable for the story. Normally your story should pop up a lot in the search engine when looking for example for a story that features BTS in it. As BTS is very popular and you are using it as one of your tags, that should be going well. The other tags are very well chosen. No need to add or delete any of the tags. Good job!


Appearance: graphics. —/5, layout. 5/5
GRAPHICS
Rather than using a poster, you opt to choose two gifs of the main characters in which they are displaying getting hurt and being sad. It's not a bad idea. But I can't seem to grasp the idea behind the choice of Taehyung's gif. I didn't get the feeling that he was very upset and hurt. But I can be wrong. I do like the choice of not being mainstream. It does convey the essence of your story.

DISPLAY
The layout of your story makes it easier for the reader to comprehend the story and follow it accordingly. The choice of the fond and the size are very convenient. I do particularly like the text dividers that represent the heartbeat of the main character. It's also the "symbol" that you see on a heart monitor in the hospital. Again very suitable to the story.


Characterisation. 12/15
This story has only 2 characters and one side character.

JIYEON
She used to be this very bubbly and enthusiastic girl with a bright personality. She's also very oblivious to the changes around her, more like she doesn't want to admit it. She met this knight in shining who means the world to her. Until everything changes. That incident causes a noticeable change in the character of Jiyeon. It's starts very slowly but then comes to a boiling point where everything collapses. I won't spoil anything more. Just read the story.

TAEHYUNG
As the story is almost completely told from the pov of Jiyeon, we don't get that much insight into the character of Taehyung. The characteristics we can collect from Jiyeon are that they don't have that much in common only their love for the Harry Potter craziness. Furthermore, we know that once in their past together he used to love and care about her lot. But that changed after the incident.

From then on, they became very distant to each other and wouldn't see each other for several days or very briefly. This makes it that much difficult for Jiyeon to ignore what's happening. Now, she has to admit what's going on for a while already.

It's never easy when writing a one-shot to have a complete image of the characters. As it is a one shot, you only have that much space to create a full story. But you did a good job!


Plot. 17/20
Interesting is one word that I would use to describe this story. It's a very realistic plot, as this happens all the time in the real world. That's also one of the reasons why so many can relate to your story. Cliché is another world that I would use to connect with your story. All the clichés that are bound to happen when you are cheated on, are used in the story. I won't spoil anything for the other readers, but still your story is worth reading! Even though, for authors is not easy to write a story and certainly not a cliché one, you did your best in conveying every single word in the way you wanted!


Consistency/flow. 8/10
Your story goes back and forward, which makes it a bit confusing sometimes. So first it's going slow and it goes faster near the end.


Grammar, spelling & punctuation. 15/15
I was informed that English isn’t your first language, but damn.. You can write! I didn't find any major mistakes. You did an amazing job for this part!


Writing style. 5/5
I love your writing style! You used such sophisticated words and language that it was a pleasure to read your story. It was a pleasure for our eyes. The way you conveyed your ideas into words is rather impressive. They are not many dialogues, it's more the pov of Jiyeon and how she experienced everything.


Structure. 5/5
Paragraphs are essential in a story and you are using them! This makes it more convenient for us readers to enjoy your story.


Readers' response. 3/5
These are your stats
1 upvotes
66 subs
15 comments

Your story is rather new, but has already received so much love from the ones who read your story thus far. You have a great supporting base. I agree with everything they are writing about your story and couldn't say it better. Futurewise, I think your story has a lot of potential and will turn out great. It's a good start! Keep up the good work!


Overall enjoyment.
This was quite an interesting story, although it is a cliché subject you did your best to make it your own. The thing with the story is that we actually don't really know what really happened. We do get a sneak peek of what was going on, but the raw details were left out. We experienced the story from Jiyeon's point of view, which made it special as we noticed that she got hurt severely. I did like the story a lot and was very honoured to be the one reviewing it. I would say keep up the good work! Love the writing style!
 

total grade : 83/95

Notes