ShinEllie : We meet again, kitty

Characters. Jonghyun, Kibum, Minho, Taemin

Status. Ongoing

Description. After amazing the other night, Key decided that he will stop thinking about that God-like man who took his ity.

He was sure that they will never meet again, even though he would like to meet Jonghyun once more.

So what will happen if they meet again? And in place he would have never expected?
 

STORY LINK

Story title. 5/5
I wouldn’t say it’s the most interesting title, but it definitely does the job of capturing a reader’s eye. Since I did not read I Deflowered You, I don’t get the tie as well as other readers may but I do see the connection seeing how they had a one-night stand and ending running into each other. As for the kitty part of it, at first I didn’t find it necessary. However, as I read through I did find how you referenced Kibum’s feline features on multiple occasions. As mentioned before, I see how it ties to the storyline and I think you did a good job with it.


Description, foreword & tags. 9/10
Your foreword is really nice. It’s short and to the point to giving the background information, which I found especially helpful for not reading the first book. At the same time it gives away nothing to the plot. Seriously props to you, it’s just the perfect amount of information. There is a slight problem that I should address. With the tags then your description, while in the description you are writing around the fact Kibum finds out Jonghyun is his teacher, in your tags you have teacherxstudent. One of those is unnecessary because of the other and I suggest keeping only one of them. Other than that, I think you used all the right tags and did a good job.


Appearance: graphics. 5/5, layout. 5/5
Those graphics are beautiful! Od gosh, that has to be one of my favorite covers that I’ve seen on AFF. It suits a fic nicely, especially with Kibum and Jonghyun’s situation, it’s going to be dark that times. Jonghyun is an older man, he’s an older straight man and he’s Kibum’s teacher. The colors go together nicely and it was very appealing when reading this.


Characterisation. 10/10
I like how all the characters have different and unique personalities. Sungho is definitely a favorite, he’s also my bias in 24k so I am biased to him. I also appreciate the consistencies throughout the story. How Key is often trying to display himself as this flashy and sort of dramatic dive but then around Jonghyun loses his whole cool. None of the characters are doing anything I wouldn’t expect them to do, though Taemin’s call to Minho did seem out of character at first, you do have to think about how he always has these dirty thoughts he’s hiding, I think it was a nice show having him sort of reveal that side.

This sort of reminds of a coming of age story. As this progresses I have noticed that all the characters are developing and growing up in their own ways. Taemin especially as he started as shy and timid and he’s growing so much more confident in himself. Kibum is still a diva but you do see him as an adult and like a worried wife at times.

Now, I really need to talk about Sungho because he is such a perfect character! I’m sure he’s got a flaw somewhere, but he’s so amazing! Also, I find it quite unique that he is understanding compared to how most second male leads (because he seriously reminds me of one) tend to react. The fact him and Kibum are still friends makes my life. ^^


Plot. 16/20
Essentially, the teacherxstudent and the ‘not a one-night stand’ ideas are both cliche. I’m glad these two are so much more smart about hiding than most stories I read are. There’s really only two flaws I found in the plot, the unoriginality, and the ‘twists’. Though, the couple has definitely had to go through their struggles and had their ups and downs, it just seemed resolved at bit too easily. Girl reports to them to the principal, Jonghyun is best friends with him. Minho tries to set Kibum up, the guy backs off when Key says no. Jonghyun quit because they were caught, he’s a doctor anyway.


Consistency/flow. 8/10
For the most part, the whole story is moving at a good progress. There are times when scenes just fly right past your head though. Especially the scenes that lead right into , they seemed to be rushed and go straight to the . I especially felt that at the beginning of the story when Kibum and Jonghyun were both mainly in it for that but even if it’s just lust, those scenes should be slowed downed.


Grammar, spelling & punctuation. 11/15
For English not being your first language, you do a very good job with it. I know it’s not always the easiest :). There are a couple spelling errors here and there in minor words and names. Also some of your sentences don’t always make the most sense, they’re too wordy and the sentence loses its meaning.


Structure. 5/5
HECK yeah, your story is very popular and you should be proud of yourself! I understand that it’s hard to respond to every comment there because there’s a lot, but you do make an effort and reply to people and that’s what I appreciate.

Upvotes: 64
Subs: 933
Views: 29534
Comment(s): 283


Readers' response. 4/5
There’s a mix of good use of paragraphs and no paragraphs throughout all the chapters. More than half of the sentences could be put into paragraphs, as long as dialogue is not put right next to other dialogue.


Overall enjoyment. 8/10
My personal taste at the moment has been away from and rated M stories. I do appreciate a good story though, it was very entertaining to read and oh dear I really, really, really love Sungoh!
 

total grade : 86/100

Notes