MissMinew : Maybe if I skip Dinner

Characters. Baekhyun and Minseok

Status. Completed

Description. Baekhyun finds another constant in his life, something stable that shouldn't have provided the comfort it does. Because when the facade cracks and he falls, he falls harder than he had ever thought he would.

Minseok finds a will power hidden within himself that shouldn't have seen the light of the day. Because when the solution becomes counting numbers and a weak body, he realizes that the control he had, has overtaken him completely and left him with nothing.

Meanwhile, Chanyeol loses his smile and Jongdae finds himself blinded by love.
 

STORY LINK

Story title. 5/5
The title is a really, really great choice, if you ask me. It's not a very common title; it's unique and really gets the reader thinking.


Description, foreword & tags. 7/10
Your tags are perfect, though I think it deserves a trigger warning tag because of how much angst there is. The thoughts that go on in Xiumin and Baekhyun's minds are triggering (I feel), especially to people who have felt the same.

Your description is average. It hints at the plot a bit too vaguely. The first two lines are good, but the 'meanwhile..' bit felt like an awkward end.

I love your foreword layout! The gifs and images are haunting and fit the story's feel very well. Again, the foreword is pure angst, and I really think you should put up a trigger warning.


Appearance: graphics. 5/5, layout. 5/5
Your poster is gorgeous and so is your layout, especially the foreword and all the gifs. End of story.


Characterisation. 9/10
Xiumin's character really hit me hard. The way his mind processes things, his descent into becoming obsessed with perfection.. it's all very realistic and doesn't seem two-dimensional at all. Baekhyun, in the beginning, took a backseat when compared to Xiumin, but in the middle, after his hospitalization, his character started developing in ways I never thought he would. The last two chapters weirded me out.

It scares me how easy it was to believe that Xiumin and Baekhyun suffered so much, and then bam, Baekhyun is dead? When he was getting better? It freaked me out.

I like the way you left the ending open. Xiumin's character wasn't fully recovered yet, and like you said, he probably never will be, and in a weird way, I like it, because it's a realistic ending. There's no happy ending in eating disorders, and you respected that.

Chen and Chanyeol were amazing as side-characters, with their support and their worry and concern. I wish I could have read more about Chanyeol's reaction at Baekhyun's death, and I wish the ending had been a bit more detailed, but nevertheless, I enjoyed it.


Plot. 19/20
The plot just.

I don't even know, it's just so filled with self-hatred and loathing and not eating that it made me feel bad. While reading it, I actually wondered if you were okay because surely a person who wrote about eating disorders so well has gone through it themselves. Your plot is painfully realistic, because we've all seen how much pressure kpop idols suffer to be perfect and thin. Xiumin and Baekhyun brought the story to life, in my view. Their thoughts and mind processes were very realistic.

Your plot is actually so realistic that it actually made me wonder if EXO had been through something similar in the past.

Like I mentioned before, Xiumin's character dominated the first half, then Baekhyun dominated in the second half.


Consistency/flow. 7/10
The first ten chapters were just pure angst, to the point where it got tiring and repetitive. They don't eat, the members are worried. They lose weight, members are worried. They don't eat, members are worried....

Baekhyun's hospitalization is a sudden shock, and the slowness of the previous chapters only makes it hit harder. Then comes Xiumin's hospitalization, and the hit is just too hard, I feel. Maybe you should have spread it out?

But this is all just my thoughts. Your consistency is impressive as well. The fall into eating disorders and then their slow and painful recovery is consistent and doesn't seem fake in any way. The beginning is repetitive, but the ending is fast and open, and I don't know what to say about that because I've never read anything like this story before.


Grammar, spelling & punctuation. 15/15
Minimal to no grammar mistakes and no typos as far as I could notice.


Structure. 5/5
You used paragraphs well and it was easy to read.


Readers' response. 5/5
You have 903 subs, 47 upvotes and 179 comments. Pretty impressive stats; but your story definitely deserves the popularity.


Overall enjoyment. 8/10
Gah I loved it. The -2 points was because it was not something I would usually read because eating disorders are not my thing to read or watch, but your story was fun in a masochistic way. I don't really know how helpful this review will be haha, but I really did enjoy reading your story. keep it up!
 

total grade : 90/100

Notes