>> In Perpetuity
Heart, Mind & Seoul Reviews Archive
BY boneofmysword
STATUS. Ongoing
DESCRIPTION.
What would you do if someone offered you a chance to go back to the past?
After he met Seunghyun, Seungri thought the only way to save Jiyong is to redo everything. Little did he know that what he did might end up dragging him into the world of speculation.
But did Jiyong really need to be saved in the way Seungri always thought of?
I always like mysterious titles even though I don't understand them all the time. I also looked up your title, which originated from Latin, that always gives the choice of words and the title itself that little extra uniqueness. It makes your title also very interesting and captivating, which results in triggering the curiosity of many readers. When coming to understand the title now, I wouldn't change it, it fits the story perfectly.
Description, foreword & tags. 8/10.
DESCRIPTION
The description gives us a great introduction to the story. Normally, I'm not very fond of trailers, due to the fact that it gives too much away. I know the trailer makers do their best to produce something wonderful and in most cases they succeed. It does suit your story perfectly. I love the song that’s used in the trailer, because it describes what happening in your story. I wouldn’t add anything else.
FOREWORD
Your foreword has been used as prologue to your story, which is a good and clever way to start. The credits are also added in your foreword. Although there’s a lot going on in the foreword, you managed to keep a very clean and clear overview of everything. Well done!
TAGS
The tags used are perfectly fitted and will normally pop up a lot in the search engine when readers are looking for a good story with their favorite Kpop band.
Appearance: graphics. 4/5, display. 5/5
GRAPHICS
Your poster sets the perfect mood for the story. It's almost angelic like. I do like the color scheme used for it. It's very light but at the same time very bold and mysterious. Kudos to your graphic designer, they did a great job in grasping the essence of the story.
DISPLAY
You have a very clean look, which is so much appreciated. I like the layout that has been used for the chapters. You have put a lot of effort in maintaining a neat look and to avoid all excess.
Characterisation. 7/10
To be honest, I think you spend so much time in creating the perfect setting and mood for your story, that the characterization was minimized. I don’t want to offend you by this, it’s just that I didn’t pay that much attention to the characterization as I was completely drawn into the story. So, I think as we are only 4 chapters far, you still have room left to improve the characterization.
For now, you already did a great job to give the basics for the characterization. Keep up the good work and you will get there!
Plot. 17/20
Your plot is interesting but maybe not so unique, as there are other time travelling stories going around on AFF as well. It's up to the authornims to make something great out of it. Some succeed in that, other fail. You're one who succeeded. This is not something that humanly possible in the real world, but it would be amazing if it did exist. We are slowly getting there, as we are literally going back and forward in time. The plot will be well executed and will be very clean and clear. Keep going!
Consistency/flow. 8/10
As you already indicated that this is about time travelling, the flow and consistency is always very crucial and not easy to maintain. For most of the authornims the difficulty lies in staying on the straight path ahead. Which isn't always easy, because you can get lost so easily and caught up in your story that it will become choppy and very unsteady. For your story, you find a little trick to inform the readers when you were going back in time by simple adding on top of your chapter if you were in past or the present. Still, I do my best to follow the storyline if the author goes back and forward and most of the times I get lost myself. Sometimes I did have the feeling that it went quicker and at other times in the story much slower, but that's typical for time travelling stories, I guess. But you did a fine job on drawing the line between the past and present. Well done!
Grammar, spelling & punctuation. 15/15
Even though we know that English isn't your first language, you could easily fool us. The intonation, words, and writing skills that are used in this story are high standard. I couldn't find less to no mistakes in your story, which I absolutely love! This makes your story much easier to follow and so much more pleasant to read! Can't say a bad word about this section.
Structure. 5/5
Paragraphs are essential in a story and luckily you are using them. For this kind of stories, this is of great importance!
Readers' response. 3/5
These are your stats
124 subs
9 upvotes
29 comments
When checking the publicity date of your story, I'm amazed that you managed to get this stats already. Your story is still in its early stages, so don't worry about your stats too much for now. I'm pretty confident that they will go up soon and slowly. We need to give it time to be recognized and read by a large crowd. I do think your story has a lot of potential because in this case you have some advantages: it's well written, almost no mistakes and a fluent storyline without a choppy flow. Keep up the good work and you will get there.
Overall enjoyment. 7/10
This is a very clever story and a beautiful one as well. This story could be easily used for a Korean Drama or even a movie! I’m blown away by your writing skills. It’s not actually my cup of tea, all the supernatural stuff. But after reading the first chapters, I will consider to continue reading your story. So don’t be demotivated by me and keep on enjoying writing your story! This has so much potential!
Date completed. 11/04/2016
Reviewer. Steph (StephLovesKCulture)
Comments. Keep up the good work! Great story! Thanks for requesting at HMS!
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