KangminBread : Clovers

Characters. Kangin, Sungmin, Kyuhyun, Heechul, Yesung, Si (OC)

Status. Completed

Description.
Long ago, when the first Clovers appeared, someone said:
If you find a One-leaf-clover, you will find Belief.
If you find a Two-leaf-clover, you will find Friendship.
If you find a Three-leaf-clover, you will find Love.
If you find a Four-leaf-clover, you will find Happiness.
He was a Clover, but his beliefs were shattered, he had no friends, no love, no happiness.
Looking at the blue caged birds, he felt as if he was a bird himself.
A bird in a gilded cage. A bird bereft of flight. A bird that cannot cry. A bird all by itself.
He was a Clover, but he wished he was not.
 

STORY LINK

Story title. 5/5
The title is very captivating and unique. It's a one word title, which in most of the cases attracts people's attention. One of the reasons, you don't' give away much and at the same time the title says it all. It suits the storyline perfectly and is straight to the point as the story goes about the clovers, but not in the way you would think it. It's very intriguing.


Description, foreword & tags. 7/10
DESCRIPTION
The description is a bit odd. But in a good way, it's very magical and that's all what the story is about. We already get a brief introduction to the story. It's a very spiritual feeling that continues throughout the story as well.

FOREWORD
The foreword has a lot of information to take in. But it's very essential to the story. If you are already lost in the foreword, you will be definitely gone when starting to read the story. I have read the foreword like 3 times to make sure I understood everything that I needed to continue the story. True, it's a huge chunk of text, but don't miss out on it. You will regret it, if you don't read it. The information given is very relevant and again very essential to the story.

TAGS
When looking at the tags, you only indicated the characters playing a part in your story. Which is not a bad idea, but maybe leave out some of the tags or introduce the genre from your story to it. That will also help to increase the search engine results.


Appearance: graphics. 3/5, layout. 5/5
GRAPHICS
The feelings we get when looking at your poster/graphics is a rather dark feeling even though it should be more mythical and magical. The poster on itself is not bad. But I think you could have done a lot better with the poster. It actually doesn't say that much about apart from the orange bird and the little note that's put beneath it. I think by improving your graphics, the feelings and atmosphere you are trying set will be more clear. But it was certainly a good attempt.

DISPLAY
The clean and simple lay out with the caged bird suits the story perfectly. Well done!


Characterisation. 6/10
They are so many characters in this story, that it wasn't so easy to keep track of them.

Throughout the story, i didn't notice much change in the characters. Although the story is about 6 chapters long, we do get distracted about everything revolving around the characters. It feels like there the author tried to include a lot in the story. But for me personally, my attention was drawn away from the characters and much more to everything that was happening around them.


Plot. 18/20
We were informed that this was inspired on the manga Clover but you made it your own by changing some things. It's an interesting story and rather unique. Again it's mythical and won't be happening in the real world. As reader, you get drawn in because you always want to know more and get more information. When the plot or overall background has been taking from a K-Drama or manga, it does come in handy to maybe have read or seen the original version, to relate to it better.


Consistency/flow. 6/10
With all the details the story went rather slow. We had to pay so much attention to everything. It was not always easy to follow the story.


Grammar, spelling & punctuation. 14/15
Your grammar and spelling is spot on! It was a delight to read a story with practically no mistake whatsoever. You did a great job on keeping the mistakes on the down low. The only little errors I encountered were some mistakes in the conjugation of the verbs. Well done!


Structure. 5/5
Paragraphs are essential in a story and you are certainly using them. Which gives the reader the exact amount of breathing room between the different paragraphs to take everything.


Readers' response. 3/5
These are your stats
11 upvotes
19 subs
1882 views
10 comments

Overall your stats aren't bad. But with a story like this, you would be expecting more subs. On the contrary, you have a lot of views, which means that when people are searching for a certain story, your story turned up quite a few times in search results. The comments you received are very supporting and positive, which also gave you the strenght to go on. Don't give up, you did great!


Overall enjoyment. 6/10
First of all, I like to be honest, I did my very best to give you an honest review. I did read your story completely, but.. it's not really my cup of tea. I did like it and it was very intriguing and interesting. I love your writing style and the variety of words you are using.
 

total grade : 78/100

Notes