Characters. Baekhyun and OC (Hong Nari)
Status. Ongoing
Description. It was the same day, when Baekhyun lost his purpose to live and Hong Nari lost her memories. He thought their past would stay concealed forever but that one damned artwork ruined it all.
 

The title is very interesting - it’s a combination between the two characters and it represents your story very well. Although it’s short, but it does its job well! Well done!
 

Your description is quite short, only two sentences long, which is a good thing because you’re not dragging it out by giving away too much information, yet at the same time you’re giving enough to draw your readers in.

The use of a prologue is very effective too - you’ve given your readers a brief background story of the main characters, which means you don’t need to spend as long trying to tell that story within the actual chapters. From the short prologue, a lot is learnt about the characters and the story, well done!

Your tags seem good to me!
 

You didn’t submit a link to the poster, so you won’t be getting any scores on it, unfortunately. However, I’ll still make a few comments about it.

Your poster is extremely well made - kudos to your graphic designer! The colour scheme fits with the theme of your story well, and it gives an artistic feel that links to Baekhyun’s profession as a painter. You have a matching background image, therefore the overall appearance of your story looks consistent and clean, especially with the simple and clean layout of your chapters.
 

At the moment, not a lot of learnt about the characters, thought I did mention that a lot of known from reading the prologue, however the characters we’ve learnt about in the prologue are not the same as who they are currently. They went through something very traumatic in life, therefore they were bound to change, Baekhyun in particular.

Byun Baekhyun, a painter who lost his girlfriend in a traffic accident, is someone who pretends to be okay when he’s not. I like the way you portrayed him in this story, since you’ve written about his depressed feelings quite well. However, at the same time, I can’t seem to understand him that well. For instance, when he received the box of fan letters and picked out the one Nari wrote for him, I can’t tell if he was happy about it or not. He described her as a very loyal fan, but at the same time he didn’t seem too happy about her spamming his e-mails. Perhaps I’m reading too much into this, but maybe there are so inconsistencies you need to look out for.

As for Hong Nari, there really isn’t a lot I can talk about, since there aren’t many scenes with her in it. However, from what I’ve read so far, she seems to be the happy-go-lucky type of girl, who acts awfully a lot on instincts and doesn’t think much about the consequences. She obviously doesn’t have any recollection of her memories, so she sees Baekhyun as an idol instead of someone important in her life. But, again, there’s no a lot I can say about this character since the scenes containing this character are limited.

Overall, I think you’ve done quite a nice job in creating your characters. Each of them seems to have their own concept and personality, and it doesn’t look like you’ve mixed them up at the moment. I hope this continues as you progress further into the story!
 

Your plot is not bad. There’s a nice foundation that you can build up on, and by the looks of it now, you’re doing a nice job. Although I wouldn’t say the idea is the most original and unique, there are certain things that make your story different, such as the main character being a painter (which I’ve never read about before).

Since you’re only three chapters into the story, there’s not a lot I can say regarding the progression of the plot (i.e. the beginning, middle, and end), but I can see you’re slowly making your way to the middle/ of your story.

One thing I would say about the plot is how dramatic it can become. At the moment, the amount of drama seems okay, but with the arranged marriage due to happen, I feel like that’s a little too much for the story. I would personally prefer it if the arranged marriage wasn’t mentioned at all, since it’s a lot to take in, especially with Hong Nari coming back and all. However in all honesty, the judgement for that will have to wait until your story is completed.
 

The speed of your story is going very well. You’re three chapters in but you have a nice amount of information flowing in. I hope you do keep this pace because this is a nice speed to take everything in without getting too confused.
 

Your overall grammar, spelling and punctuation are good, but there are a few awkward sentences here and there that don’t really make sense, but they’re not a problem at all since your readers can always make good estimates of what they’re supposed to mean.

What I want to point out to you is the use of quotation marks when the dialogue is too long to fit into one paragraph. In chapter two, when Jongin tells Baekhyun about Nari’s past, you split up his words into separate paragraphs. However, when you did that, you closed the paragraph with a close quotation mark. In this case, you should leave the quotation mark open because it’s the same person speaking in the next paragraph. I’m not very good at explaining this, but this website is very good at explaining the point I’ve just made (rule number 9 at the bottom of the page).

Other than that, there are nothing you need to worry about.
 

There’s a good ratio of narration and dialogue in your story. The ratio is simplistic as you haven’t over-described everything, and it makes your story easy to read and understand. However, I think adding more imagery and depth into your writing will benefit you, especially when it comes to writing about your characters’ emotions (Baekhyun in particular).
 

The structure of your story isn’t bad - you’ve started new paragraphs at the right places most of the time, and there aren’t any problems with huge paragraphs or anything like that. Just make sure you start a new paragraph when a new speaker talks!
 

You have a very nice amount of subscribers and upvotes, which is great. You have a nice number of quality comments too, but it’s a little disappointing to see that you’ve only replied to a handful of them. I personally are quite big believer in the communication between you as the author and your readers, therefore I would urge you to reply to your readers’ comments, even if it’s just a simple ‘thank you for reading’, because that shows you care about your readers.

One thought - you made your story limited to subscribers only, but what if readers that don’t have an account or don’t want to subscribe want to read your story? This is a thought that I usually put out to those who have their stories limited to subscribers only because in a way, you are limiting the number of people who can read your story. Of course, this is only a thought of mine and therefore will not affect your score.
 

This story was a nice, simple and easy read for me, which I really appreciate. The plot is something I quite like, but since I’m a huge fan of in-depth writing, I didn’t enjoy your story as much as I wanted to - but that doesn’t mean anything bad on your side! I think personally, I would have liked this story a lot more if there were more details and development in the characters and the plot. Nonetheless, I like how you have created your characters, especially Baekhyun because he seems to be the most interesting one out of them all. All the best of luck to you and your story!
 

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