On the ride back home, I was struck by the sudden thought that the world is inflatable - trees and grass and houses ready to collapse with the single prick of a pin.

My eyes were cloud with tears and before they fall, I felt an affection squeeze on my hand. I looked up and my lips involuntarily curved up. I felt that I was able to face anything when I saw his smile. I gave his hand a light squeeze too. 

Moments later, he pulled the brakes, letting the car came to a slow stop. I was homed. It felt so cold and distant though. Maybe it was due to the fact that I didn't come back for two consecutive days already. Or perhaps, there's just simply nothing to look forward in there now...

"Let's go in shall we?" His voice knocked me out of my own head. 

I nodded slowly and he took my hands into his as we made our way into the house, with Mum's friend's son, Kwon Jiyong behind us. 

These two days had been a nightmare for me. A long and dreary one. For the past two days, I had been lying on Mum's hospital bed, refusing to move an inch as I cried my hearts out. I tried taking in her scent, hoping that she had just been pushed away to go through some scans, instead of being pushed to the mortuary. She didn't return. And she wasn't going to either.

The Earth still rotates despite of my grievance. Being her only kin left, I was left the task to take on everything. To settle everything. I was so utterly exhausted and wrung out that it took every ounce of my concentration to focus on the practicalities. 

Thank god for Daesung. Without him, I wouldn't know how I could get through all these. I recalled that for the past two days, there were different people going in and out of the ward. Doctors, nurses, policemen, undertaker... They looked all the same to me because the moment they were out of sight, I had the same reaction. I wilt. If it wasn't for Daesung who had stepped in to help me handle and arrange some stuffs, I would have been pulling out my hair or most probably dead by now.

Oh, and Kwon Jiyong. For an acquaintance, I must say that he had done alot. In fact, he had done much more than even a good friend could have done. Due to us being in America for quite some time, he was a great help to us. He arranged many things for us, ensuring that everything was organised and that Mum would have a comfortable journey to heaven. Surprisingly, he seemed to know alot more things about Mum. He knows things about Mum that I was totally clueless about. Guess like his mum is really a good friend of Mum. However, I never got to see his mum. If they're good friend, she would drop by to take a last look at her right? Hmmm... Maybe, she too, was overwhelmed by grief.

******

Daesung and I headed to Mum's room while Jiyong-sshi stayed in the living room to pack the remaining things. Tomorrow would be Mum's funeral. Given that we had no kin left here, I decided to keep the funeral short and simple. I'm pretty sure that Mum would like everything to be in serenity on her last lap of journey.

We began to pack her room, putting her clothes and belongings into boxes and either keeping or donating them for good. I stopped every now and then, completely overwhelmed by a fresh and intense wave of grief. She's really leaving me...

As I was packing, I came across a photo album. It was a photo album that I had never seen before. It was dull-coloured and dust covered the entire cover, showing that it must be an old album. I never knew Mum would take photos. She avoided photo taking so much that I thought she actually feared taking photos. Out of curiousity, I opened it up slowly.

Mum could be beautiful, if she was parachuted into someone else's life. When she was in her twenties, she had long brown hair and the fine collarbones of a princess. I inherited her large doe eyes and sharp nose. I smiled as I continued flipping the pages. I didn't know she had such an exciting and colourful life when she was young. She must have been the most popular girl in her school.

Then, I saw a wedding photo. It was a photo of her and Dad. They were smiling affectionately at each other and with just one look, you could tell that they were deeply in love. It had been like fifteen years since I last saw Dad? I almost couldn't remember how he looks like already. He left the house when I was three. I didn't know where he have gone, just know that he's never going to play a part in my future anymore.

Even though Dad left, I suppose that he loved me. Seeing the photos of him kissing me and holding me like I'm his most precious jewel, made my heart feel a pang of warmth. Dad, where are you? Are you missing me too? Or, you had already forgotten that you have a daughter by the name of Im Yoona?

I closed the album with a thud as I caught sight of the subsequent photos. By then, the corner of Mum's mouth had turned down, like she had swallowed some bitter news. I just want to keep the wonderful and happy memories. Call that avoidance if you want.

I opened the album again, taking out a photo of Mum in her mid twenties, posing ily and smiling brightly for the camera. I would keep this by my side forever. I hesitated about whether should I take the wedding photo along or not, but decided on the latter after a while.

I put it back to the album back to its original place and was hit by something. There was still something under the bed. I stretched my hands in and took out the object. It was a book. Or to be exact, a diary.

What else had Mum kept from me? I always says that she failed as a Mum, but in fact, it was me. I was the one who failed as a daughter. I never knew and bothered about what she was thinking.

I stared at the diary for a long while. Its cover looked ancient and a faint scented musty smell touched my nostrils. The sides were stained yellow, indicating that this book had been forsaken for a long while.

I took a deep breath and opened the book. It was time to get to know Mum all over again...

13th January 1987.

Sunny day! The weather today is as perfect as my day. I headed to work with Yejin just like any other days and well, while we're laughing and joking around in the bus (as usual), I bumped onto someone! The papers that he was holding sprawled all over the place and some even flew out of the bus! I quickly bent down to pick up the remaining papers, feeling terribly sorry for him. He bent down too, gathering the papers together. The exciting part? Well, after finish picking up all the papers, when we looked up, we hit each other's head! Ahh. I'm always that clumsy... But oh well, at least I get to catch his eyes! Omo! He's so.... CUTE!! He wore a black rimmed glasses and had a pair of small smiling eyes. Heat immediately rushed up to my cheeks for no apparent reason. I recalled that I was supposed to be apologising. I apologised immediately and before I could do anything else further, Yejin had already dragged me away, alighting at the bust stop before our destination. But... when I turned behind, I caught a glimpse of him! He was shaking his head and smiling! Was he sneering at me? Or did he find me cute?! AHHHH!

Hyori.

14thJanuary 1987.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?! THAT GUY THAT I MET