Jiyong must have returned late into the night. I hadn’t heard him come in but he was sitting on the couch with a somber face, staring out at the window, watching the sunrise. Cautiously, I joined him on the couch, taking a seat beside him and watching the sunlight spread through the horizon.

He looked beaten, his face pale as a sheet with stubbles and large purple dark circles hanging off his tired eyes. Aftermath of our fight was still evident at the corner of his lips. His hair stood up in every direction and he was wearing the same clothes he had worn the previous night. He was absolutely still and silent. So silent that I was beginning to question if he even noticed me sitting beside him. Until he spoke.

"I'm sorry..." He let out an almost inaudible whisper, hands gripping his knees.

I was loss for words. I made no response but he continued nevertheless, his eyes glassy and distant.

"I... I thought I would be able to forget... As long as she is happy and healthy..." He trailed off, talking more to himself than to me.

I finally caught on, realizing whom he was talking about. Ever since that incident, he rarely spoke of Yoona and when he did, it was just in passing and never went into detail. To this day, I know nothing more than the fact that it had something to do with his dad and that it was an incredibly rough time for Jiyong himself.

"I thought maybe I would die from the pain. I wanted to die. It wouldn't hurt that much if I was dead. You know, like kill myself or something..." He spoke flatly, shrugging his shoulders.

His eyes were fixated on the sunrise, the thin strip of rising light almost blindingly bright. I turned away, but he kept staring. Him and Yoona were once madly in love. He would do anything just for her and when Yoona was in her brink of death, he had hit rock bottom and his traumatic breakup with her had sunk him even further. Even so, I never knew it was this bad. I never knew he wanted to die. He put on such a good poker face.

"Hell, I even tried to doing it... I remember sitting by the edge of the building with the ring in my hand... When I accidentally dropped it, I couldn't see it anymore and started panicking. I ran down and searched for it until I saw it lying at the roadside. If... If I hadn't dropped it, I wouldn't be alive," his raspy voice revealed the emotions choked within him as he removed the necklace around his neck. "I knew she would want me to continue living..." He gave a weak smile, clutching the ring in his palm.

My heart wrenched as I fought back the pain clawing from my insides, hurting for Jiyong. I wanted to wrap my arms around him or even, give him a pat on the shoulder to comfort him, but the look in his eyes kept me from doing so. There was something oddly frightening about his expression. His face was blank, as if behind the blank mask, was a monster waiting to be unleashed.