Jessica’s POV:

 

 

Shortly after my statements, we have a power cut in the apartment that gave me a cold sweat and nausea feeling. It makes me holding Byuntae’s body firmly for the sudden darkness that I was forced to face. Having to recall some of the event when we were captured in the horrible place really brought me into a dizziness. The things that caused me to breakdown is not only because I have met one of Taeyeon’s personalities that I’ve known since I was a kid, but because I felt horrified to remember the actual thing that I ate at that unfortunate time. Sometimes, I just wish that I didn’t remember them at all.

 

I pushed Byuntae hardly without I mean it. There is something unpleasant is about to come out of my guts. I wasn’t wrong to the ill feeling I have. It took me less than a second before the thing that I ate only a few hours ago I throw up on the floor. They come in a cycle, weakening me and pushing me to kneel down on the floor until I feel there’s nothing more I have on my stomach.

 

I thought everything was okay when I can cook a dinner for them. And I thought, I really have forgotten the incident when I have my appetite back. But the truth is… I'm not. Having Taengoo and my kid in the same flight and at the same house as me is just a distraction for awhile. I realized, being together with Taengoo could bring some of the past traumatic memories that I wish I could erase them from my mind.

 

The thing that I ate in the past is still giving a big impact in my life since my discovery. It’s not her entire fault why I become sick and weak. Things happened because I cannot control my mind for not overthinking or be scared too much about the past. Being in the dark could always trigger me.

 

My body shudders as when the light flashing back as normal.

 

"OMO! Human Jessicat-ssi, are you alright?"

 

I didn’t get to reply Byuntae. I feel dizzy as a severe headache is approaching me. The smell of my puke really disgusts me. It adds up to my distress list. As I try to move, my vision becomes blurry and cause me to fall down.

 

 

*******

 

 

"Shhh~ why are you crying, baby girl? There’s nothing to be scared with aunty Krystal. Aunty Krystal is not a bad person. Aunty Krystal is your mother’s younger sister, you know. That's why aunty Krystal moved us to this comfortable room so your mother can have a privacy and to rest quietly."

 

"Hyomin isn’t scared with aunty Krystal. Hyomin just missed mama. Hyomin wants to see Hyomin’s mama. Mama said she will come back soon, but mama never comes back."

 

"Mama? Isn’t she is your mama?"

 

"She is not Hyomin’s mama. She is Hyomin’s jojes umma. Hyomin wants Hyomin’s beautiful mama…"

 

"You have two mothers??"

 

"Hyomin has three mothers... beautiful mama, pretty godmother, and jojes umma. But Hyomin wants to see beautiful mama now."

 

"If you say it like that, may aunty Krystal know what is your beautiful mama’s name? Because aunty Krystal can only help you if aunty Krystal knows her name."

 

"Hyomin’s beautiful mama is Song Taengoo. But pretty godmother always calls beautiful mama as Taeyeon. Hyomin wants to see mama so badly. Mama has been leaving Hyomin to stay here for too long to watch umma. Hyomin wants to see mama again… Can’t aunty Krystal helps Hyomin to find mama and helps Hyomin to watch umma? Hyomin doesn’t want to stay here without mama…"

 

"Shhh~ please don’t cry again, baby girl… Aunty Krystal promise to help you find your mama. Aunty Krystal has your mama’s cellphone number. Maybe we can give her a call."

 

"Promise? Aunty Krystal will call mama?"

 

"Yes, promise. Now, please stop crying. Aunty Krystal will call her."

 

The crying sound and the conversation that I constantly received really urging me to wake up. If I’m not mistaken, the voice that I heard trying to hush Hyomin was no one else other than my dearest sister Krystal. She even mentioned her name to make it so certain, I thought. How can Krystal find us? Thinking about Krystal really making me feel so fresh. My eyes becoming larger as I try to breathe to handle the shocking situation that I never believe I need to face at this time.

 

Oh, my Lord! Where am I? Am I still in my dream? If no, how can she find me?

 

I look into my surrounding and only to discover that I was in the hospital bed with inpatient uniform and I can say that I was in a fairly big room all for myself. My right arm was wrapped with the blood pressure monitor and my left hand was attached to the IV drip. My last memory brought me into a realization on how I can be resting in the hospital bed right now.

 

"Jessi??" Krystal’s voice diverted my attention back to her. I look at her before trying to move from the bed. A severe headache from my fast movement push me to lie down on my back again. "Gosh! Can you try not to move? You systolic blood pressure is still not normal until now, Jessi! Do I need to call you a doctor?"

 

I shook my head, trying to relax as much as I can. I don’t want to stay in my panic mode for knowing one of my family members already meeting with my kid. I need to think clearly. Or maybe... I need to start talking.

 

"How did you find me?" I utter with my closing eyes.

 

"Tia unnie called to notify me about you."

 

Tia? Did she mean Tia Min Youngeun? Tia my classmate in primary and secondary school? One of the twins that I know? Isn't she lives in New York right now?

 

"She found you in the emergency room with the kid by chance. Her fiancé has been admitted from food poisoning, but he already has been discharged about half an hour ago. They have a short break to visit her family because she doesn’t have a Christmas leave. She sent regards and wish for your speedy recovery." Krystal continued, sharing with me the story on how she found me. "Just what happen to you, Jessi? The doctor said you passed out from having a low blood pressure and malnourished when someone sent you to the hospital. Your BMI is so dangerously low. Seriously, I have a lot of things to ask you… but, I want you to rest after seeing your condition. You really have no idea how worry and shock that I was an hour ago after seeing the changes of your physical. That might answer why you always find an excuse to avoid a facetime with me."

 

She might be angry with me right now, but I know she will understand my situation in the future if I share my story to her. So, I don’t want to answer her anything or to touch on the topic about how I become so skinny. Remembering the event will only make me want to vomit again. By the way, what does she mean by saying someone sent me to the hospital? Did Byuntae left me? Or did she split after knowing about me as Jessicat? Most of all, where is she right now?

 

"Is umma not feeling alright yet?"

 

Hyomin’s soft voice swiftly made my eyes open. I saw my kid still got her minion sleepwear on her body. There is a leftover tears on her face that make me feel guilty for passing out and leaving her to be alone. I try to take her from Krystal’s lap to clean her face, but I was so weak to even move anywhere again. I agree so much that I look so damn pathetic with my condition like this. How long since I passed out? Why I still not recover and have my energy back? I really want to know. I feel bad for leaving my small kid alone. And where is Byuntae again?

 

"Maybe umma will be fine if umma can get a hug from you. Can you rest on the bed with umma for a little while if you don’t mind?"

 

"Dae..."

 

She had no idea she just took the heavy burden on my chest by agreeing to my big request. I try not to cry when Krystal helps to place her to join me on the bed. Having her attached against my body really put me an ease for awhile. She is like a therapy that healing me. My anxiety for having my sister with us feeling almost gone. It's truly amazing how she could make me feel this way. I did what I intended to do earlier, wiping her leftover tears before giving her forehead a loving kiss.

 

Following shortly, I get a return kiss on my cheeks and lips from her. She stares at my face with a nervous smile before burying her face in the crook of my neck. Her lovely interaction made me feel so lucky. I closed my eyes soothingly, feeling blessed with my kid's presence in my arms. I almost want to smile when I feel her small hand does the tapping on my back body. I should do that to her. How can this kid be so lovely for trying to calm me? I don’t feel like I deserve her yet. For not knowing about her existence and missed the chance to raise her all by myself really hurt me.

 

I have no idea if Krystal knew she is my daughter. But I bet she does! Hyomin really resembles me when I was a kid. Everyone who knows the younger me will simply identify the identical we have. I wonder if Tia thought she is my daughter too. How should I share them my story? I just didn’t know where to begin other than admitting she was mine. Of course, I’m not going to deny that to anyone.

 

"Umma felt extremely sorry for leaving you to be alone. And umma also wants to say thank you so much for being so strong to take a big responsibility to stay and to look after umma." I expressed, knowing what happen, based on her conversation with my sister that I overheard. "You must be so sad to stay all alone without mama. That thought alone really makes umma feel guilty. Have you eaten anything?"

 

She tried to face me again to answer my question. Looking at the centre of her globes makes me feel relaxed. "Mama left Hyomin here to watch umma without giving Hyomin any food. Hyomin is not hungry anymore because aunty Tia has feed Hyomin chicken porridge and mashed potato while waiting umma to wake up. Hyomin is really so happy right now. Umma has finally awake. Umma, can we find mama now? Mama left with Jessicat because the doctor said she cannot bring a cat inside the hospital. But mama never comes back. It’s been so long since she left. Hyomin wants to see mama again."

 

"Mama was the person who sent umma here?" I asked a bit shocked. I thought it was the hotel staff. That's mean Byuntae didn't just disappear or left me? And Tia was so nice to feed my kid while I was out. Although I never expect her to call or to involve Krystal when I wasn't mentally prepared to share my story with her. I should give her a call to say my thank you later. Frankly, her choice to call my sister is hundred times better than calling my parents. "Did she say anything about her name? Or maybe asking you to call her the other name like when we played the roleplay?"

 

"Hyomin only remembers mama was waking Hyomin up from the bed because mama said umma is very sick and need to be sent to the hospital where sick people will get treated. Mama calls umma as human Jessicat-ssi again and again while we were in the car going to the hospital."

 

That's Byuntae. I heard she called me the same name before I passed out.

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