Devil's Cry

 

 

 

I was squealing on my bed in my best frustration way when I heard the deafening sound of guitar coming from the reading zone where Taengoo always hang out for the past five days was being strummed again. The reading zone or also known as the most holy and quiet place that my father created for me and Krystal has now become the most disturbing and noisy place inside the house. Apparently, when I got the chance to rewind and fast forward the CCTVs around the house I found out Taengoo will only go to her own room when she wanted to take a shower or to change her clothes.

 

For that reason, I know that I couldn't be wrong. The music I heard was certainly coming from the camping zone to that little devil who occupied it since the day she came into this house.

 

The guitar that she brought together with her is not an acoustic guitar like I thought, but it's an electric guitar! The medium luggage that she brought together with her was not filled with all her clothes, but the amplifier that I believe took half of her luggage space. She played them every morning to disturb my sleep if I was being late from waking up my bed to follow her daily schedule. Not once, but repeatedly until I came out of the room to see her face!

 

I don’t care if it’s a normal lively music that could please my eardrums, but it’s a rock or metal music that gives me a bad mood! That’s the same song that I heard when I called her cellphone during our first day of meeting in the lobby of this building. Her choice of song is really bad! Seem like she tried to serenade every demon from the dark world every time when she played the song.

 

She is black metal!

She is the real freemasons!

She is a psycho!

She is super crazy!

She is not what you think she is!

She is the real little devil that you will regret to know!

 

I hate herrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

 

That’s what I wanted to write on her review if only I could cancel the course! Sadly, I just knew yesterday that I have to pay one million dollars as a compensation if I discontinued the course with her before the actual end date as per the T&C agreement that I agreed blindly. Even if I have two billions dollars’ worth of assets, I will not invest my one million to her! Who does she think she is? She is not worth that amount of money for the service she provided! She made me crazy by having her around! She is like a drug that I don’t want to get closer, but I get it, somehow! I paid her a lot! Really a lot! I want to cry when I remember the amount of money I spent for the service she offered while I wasn’t in my right mind. I think getting a manwhore is more cheaper than her price! I was such a fool to be trapped with her like this! I should have not taken the course!

 

I’m stressed!!

 

For the past four days I have been thru an intense program following Taengoo's tight schedule. Every morning I will have a simple Yoga class for an hour with her. During that period, she will teach me the right breathing technique to calm myself from any form of trouble I may face right now or in the future. Then, we will have a breakfast for half an hour before we continue for another two hours of therapy that mostly focus to my relationship problem and suicidal thinking that she called as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). She will give me an hour of lunch on my own before we proceed to go out doing the social works at the place she signed up for me and her. At night, she will spend another two hours of therapy with me and another Yoga session before she allows me to rest.

 

I've been super tired like hell every night! I think, I passed out most of the time before I could think of anything. I don't know if this is the right therapy that everyone was boasting about on the website that I found her. If you asked me why, I don't have the perfect word to describe it other than these a few days experienced was so feel like I have been in an orientation week during my university years, especially when I have to do the various scopes of social work! The most frustrating one was when I don't know how I could end up agreeing to clean cow dung with her yesterday. Can you imagine that?

 

I was so mad at her. She was so strict in her best soft-spoken and calm expression during all the program I attended. With all honesty, I don't want to follow whatever she said, but weirdly, I did once she looked straight into my eyes. Besides her cuddle, I think her eyes have the huge power to control me. I should have not looked at them! I will not become like this if only I was aware that she could control me very easily just by looking straight at the center of her orbs.

 

Taengoo has Heterochromia.

 

She told me there’s nothing special or wrong with her different eye color. But to me they seem so special! If that’s not true, then how can she control me!? I got to know the sky blue lens that she used before was only to cover her Heterochromia from public eye. Her real eye color is blue iris on the right and green iris on the left with the same golden-brown inner ring for both eyes. It's very intense when I look them very closely. What’s more if she makes a simple gaze or eye contact throughout the time while we speak! I know one day her eyes could be the reason of my death. I think I don’t have to commit suicide anymore because just by looking at her eyes could make me feel knock out, each time!

 

It’s all started from that night!

 

The night when she enveloped me in her soothing embrace that I don’t want to remember till now. Blame to my suicidal thought who caused me a great amount of regret right now. It's so foolish of me when I wanted to harm myself because of some silly bad dream and thunderstorms that I can’t stand. If only I have a better self-control in me, I think she will not have the chance to control or to make me fall into her evil trap.

 

I regret that!

 

 

 

 

I delayed opening my bedroom door after I heard Taengoo’s soft voice that still checking me if I was alright inside, but I finally did as I can’t stand listening to my own sob that begin to choke my source of oxygen. My nose was clogging so badly for the cry and fear that seem bothered me so much. I was in panic mode and thought this would be my final day if I don’t get a help from someone. As far as I want to take it alone, I know I cannot anymore. I have reached my limit.

 

Taengoo’s voice was reminding me again and again that she was here to help me. I should not keep this destructive behaviour alone with me. After all, that’s the reason why I took the cuddle buddy course with her. I want her to help me! Yes, I really need her. Therefore, I told myself that I should not be embarrassed to be seen broken like this in front of my counselor. She probably has encountered a lot of patients like me before. She is a professional and I should just come clean about my feeling with her. I think, it will work better that way rather than if I keep them all to myself.

 

I wiped my tears and cleaned my running nose from my face, getting back my robe to at least cover my revealing nightwear. I didn't care to tie or to bun my hair this time around. I just let it let loose on my shoulder. I inhaled deeply as a preparation to meet my counselor that still calling my name in her very soft voice. The way she was calling at me, making me aware that someone was here and care about my life. Deep inside me, I was so thankful for her concern call because I really need someone right beside me right now.

 

When the door opened, I stop whatever I wanted to say to her after I discovered she was only in her black sleeveless crop top and the same faded ripped denim shorts she wore before. Her fit abs muscle was on display and it took me so much time to avoid from not staring at them. In my eyes, her crop top looks more like a Bralette top. It makes her look hella good and very y. Honestly, she was too much for my sight right now, giving me a discomfort when I have to divert from seeing her body to her eyes. However, when I look into her eyes, I got a major goosebump automatically. I could feel the hairs on my forearms and on the back of my neck stand up all together. She has this exotic eye color on her. Blue iris on the right and green iris on the left with the same golden-brown inner ring for both eyes. I tried to look thoroughly if she was using a different contact lenses, but I can’t find any sign of lens in her eyes. They are undeniably original, very beautiful and so intense to see for so quite a long of time!

 

“I had Heterochromia since I was born. It’s not an eye disease. They just different from one another, nothing special or wrong to have them. I used contact lenses before because I don’t want to draw attention when I was at the hospital. I hope you don’t mind to see my imperfection.”

 

She explained calmly like she could read my mind why I become so quiet. Well, I never feel scared to see her different eye color because to me they look spectacular! She should not hide it from public eye. Not everyone in South Korea could have them. She should have known by having different eye color like her will make her become special and limited edition human, not imperfect like what she claimed.

 

“Are you alright, Jessica-ssi?”

 

Her question brought me back to my bad dream and fear that I have seemed forgotten after seeing her outstanding abs muscle and attractive eyes.

 

“I heard your loud scream and cried. What happen?”

 

She asked me in a cool way for another time, indirectly letting me know how she knew I was in distress before.

 

My tears already dried on my face and I could breathe like normal once again. I completely feel different like there’s nothing happen to me before. The bad dream that was harbouring in my head was now all gone. Same goes to my fear. How could that possibly happen? When I thought everything will be okay, I got shocked by the loud thunder that booming in the sky. It sounded very far, but it didn’t stop me from getting shocked like I will always do. I clutched onto her hand that she offered me after my loud dolphin scream that could possibly hurt her eardrums. Strangely, she didn’t flinch to my dolphin scream like other people who happened to hear it at the first time will normally do. I was embarrassed to be seen like that by her, but the feeling slowly fading away when I see her calm expression, not a sign like she was going to hate me for the piercing sound I make.

 

It felt so warm and nice to have a physical contact with her at that time. She offered me her injured hand when she looked at me getting another shock in my life for another loud thunder that we’ve heard together from the outside. I was scared once again, but I know I’m not alone. At least, if I die because of some electric shock, she was around to witness me dying.

 

“I have a bad dream and I dislike thunderstorm.” I tried to tell her the thing that she asked me previously, distracting myself from my fear by looking at the center of her golden-brown orbs. She didn’t move backward when I get one step closer to her. Her eyes only darting at me without giving me a sign that she was uncomfortable with my sudden closeness that almost violate her personal space. It’s so fascinating to see her eyes this up-close. They are just too captivating. It distinctly brought me closer to her like it has some magnetic force against me. The smell of her skin calms me some more. I really like her body odour a lot. It lingers in my mind, cleaning all the bad stuff I had for the past month. None of the aromatherapy in my spa could make me feel calm as Taengoo's body cologne. This is getting too weird for me to take, but I seemed not to care at the time being. All I know, I just want to get closer to her. “I have a fear of lightning and thunderstorm.” I told her more to complete my story when I was only a few centimeters away from her body.

 

This is me, drawing myself closer to her while I'm still in my right mind. I don't know what happen to me or how I become like this. I was awe-struck! And about to regret for the plan I had in my mind! No woman have enthralled me before. She did it tonight, bending my straight line 360 degrees in a short period of time. No one will believe this. I can't believe it myself. This plan I had in my head is getting too ridiculous to follow.

 

“Astraphobia?”

 

Her breath felt refreshed when she uttered the terms of my fear. I nodded once, appraising her mentally when she knew about that.

 

“For how long you been thru them? Have you tried to overcome your fear or maybe get a professional help to cure it?”

 

I swore she got this best calming persona in her when she acts calmly to my naughty eyes that begin to check while she was speaking with me. She got to understand, her eyes were too wonderful for me to handle that closely. I have to check her other human anatomy to keep my mind stay in check for a while!

 

“When I was seven, I have been suffering from getting an electric shock during thunderstorms in Japan. I didn’t go for any treatment because a year later we moved back to live in the States. I haven’t encountered an