Author's note:

[Warning]: Please read / treat this story as fictional. Leave this fiction alone if you find it disturbing.

 

 

 

 

Author’s POV:

 

 

Nearly an hour of driving, Taeyeon finally reached at the destination where her car GPS brought her. Her gifted Porsche Boxster that she received from Tiffany was parked just nicely on the side of the road which was very closed to Jessica’s vehicle. The name of the restaurant was correct as what she received a text from Jessica. So, this is the place that she has been dare by Jessica to visit, she thought. Arriving nearby the restaurant that she had once and last visited with her whole family for more than two decades ago is like nothing too strange to her.

 

She knew something attractive about the restaurant when she first made a look on it. It caught her eyes so much to admire the exterior design. It looks classic in its finest. She had seen a restaurant like this in France. Where she had her honeymoon with Tiffany that her grandfather gifted it to them. The accessibility and location of the restaurant is what makes it easier to be spotted by anyone. It was reachable thru public transportation and located in the heart of Apgujeong road. With the mix touch of modern and classic for the interior, it really makes it become unique on its own. Clearly why the place can become famous. The place looks like it has been maintained really well by the owner too.

 

Out of all the places, Jessica picked the one that related to her in the past. It was really a good happy memory. The last a few days that she spent happily with all the people she loved in her life. It can't sadden her right now to remember about the good old days. That was the missing pieces of her life. She has no memory of this. And she doesn't aware of the place. Maybe she would loved to visit this place again and again if the place did not serve the thing that she scared or if she could recall back her past.

 

Truthfully, she didn't expect she will be visiting a place like this. If not because of Jessica, she will not even dare to look at the steakhouse restaurant. The restaurant has no wrong to her. The thing that stops her from visiting a place like this is clearly no other than her fear to change into something that will cause her too much trouble.

 

She still remembers what her adoptive mother told her. Human brain is so powerful. She will fight her anxiety easily if she believes the thing that she scared is nothing. Nothing will harm her by seeing animal meat. She agreed with her adoptive mother. She knew how powerful a human brain is because she reads a lot and knows a lot. It can change anything that they believe if she wants. Sadly to say, she is still not mastering it well.

 

When she had been captivated by the inhuman kidnappers, she received a continuous traumatic event that she failed to remember. At least, to Taengoo. Her ordeal at that time almost made her die from eating disorder once Taengoo discovered the story of her life when she was at the age of seventeen. That was during the ten year anniversary of that cruel incident that change her life in all degrees. She felt sicken to know about it. Not enough taken a beaten on behalf of Yoona and Sooyoung while they have been kept in the same room together, she also had been ordered to eat the fresh flesh that the kidnapper says as her dog when they threaten about the three chaebol kids that have been taken earlier than her will be killed in front of her if she refused to have a meal like that. It wasn’t her dog flesh that she ate. That was her mother and her siblings that the media say. That was part of her traumatic past that she doesn't want to read or to know, but she already know.

 

She had gone thru a regular therapy since then because she has been fighting from trying not to self-harm herself or to change again. So far, she had been doing good to fight her demon by receiving a regular therapy and also by being a counsellor that keeps her life busy these past a few years. Her doctor is no other than her adoptive mother who took a PhD in psychology after they moved together to the States by following Tiffany’s family. Her adoptive mother learnt a lot from her previous psychologist in the States for the sake to help Taeyeon fighting the thing that tried to live comfortably in herself. Especially, once HyeKyo discovered Taeyeon has a special gift and she was a Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) patient after the kidnapping case that killed her husband and her friend’s husband was over.

 

Taeyeon had developed three different personalities as a protection mechanism for herself. It happens as her brains try to act stronger from blocking her traumatic incident in details so she could continue living her life. These three personalities are the past weak kid who lost an ambition to live, the charismatic and energetic person that tries to represent her present life, and the upside down world ert punisher that try to represent her future life. HyeKyo only had seen these three different personalities so far and thought it was safe to let Taengoo appeared than the other two. Since Taeyeon’s past psychologist was dead in a fire of her hospital building, all the records of her were gone too. HyeKyo had to reorganize a proper record of Taeyeon’s DID progress on her own based on her past conversation with Taeyeon’s doctor that she remembered.

 

Only selected people in her life knew about her deepest secret. Till today, Taengoo still go to therapy for this because she was very well aware about her DID and the dangerous two in herself. One is a psycho killer and the other one wants to kill her. Her life is so beauty...

 

The last therapy that she went was the day before she had a dinner at Jessica's house. Her effort in seeking a professional help, especially when it comes from a trustable person is what she needs always. She believes in talk therapy. Because she was doing the same thing to help others. It's just not easy for her to help her own self when it comes to her personal life experience that need to be monitored by someone. Who would believe a counsellor like her is a DID patient? It might be scary to some people, but there's nothing to worry about her DID as long as her client is following the T&C she stated on the website that have been founded by Yoona.

 

The therapy session she did with her adoptive mother was always off the record. No one should know about this since she was a crj captain and of course no one wants to hire a DID patients to fly any airplane if it was made public. As a crj captain, she should hold a big responsibility for the safety of her crews and passengers, not to let them die with her disorder.

 

So far, she had been living and blended well with her second personality. The last that she became a ert punisher was recorded four years ago. Sunny found her while she’s on an act at that time. The doctor had given her a sedative before she killed more bad people with her telekinetic gift. Following to her change, she had been locked in the cell of Yuri's house for a week when she shows a sign the weak kid has taken over herself by a simple drawing of cartoons and the Jeonjuan dialect that they noticed coming from herself. One thing that they can't let Taeyeon does is to take her life. The four of them were correlated to Taeyeon's life after they got electrocuted together with her in the past. Taeyeon is not the only person who has a special gift that day. All the four of them have their own uniqueness too. The thing that Hyoyeon said like a curse. While she had been kept in Yuri’s house, her adoptive mother managed to call her second personality to come out again. That day, HyeKyo once again failed to convince Taeyeon to let go of her past.

 

Essentially, the thing that scared Seohyun is not the act of cannibalism that she was forced to do. Seohyun was scared to know she had killed bad people in her own way without a proper justice. And Taengoo’s friends and mother have been hiding her DID from public too well. Tiffany had no choice than to lie to Taeyeon by saying Seohyun was scared about the thing she ate in the past. Because she believed, Taeyeon will be locked in a psychiatric hospital if she wanted to continue dating and living together with Seo. That’s the decision that made Tiffany agreed to take Seohyun’s memory and erasing everything that she knows about them and Taeyeon. Foolishly she admits, she won’t let Taeyeon go to any mental hospital and live like that. She will not do that for someone who saved her life when she was a kid. Taeyeon will not become like this if not because of her. Taeyeon lost her whole family in a tragic way because the kidnapper was targeting to take her in the first place. If she didn’t follow Taeyeon’s bus that day, maybe their fate will be changed right now.

 

Her eyes scanned the entrance and the inside thoroughly. The glass door of the steakhouse restaurant allows her to check any customer from the place where she parked her car. Seeing her wrist watch that shows five minutes to nine in the evening makes her wonder why the place was so quiet. It should still be packed since its still consider as peak hour. But why she only sees one customer in there?

 

She takes a closer look to this customer by narrowing her eyes just a little bit. From bottom to the top. White loafers, faded denim, and yellow checkered long sleeves. The woman was sitting facing the entrance while playing with her phone in her right hand with a style. Her heart thumps for this lone woman. A smile played on her face upon discovered who she was. It kills her nervousness for a bit. This is the woman that she wants for the rest of her life. The question is, will Jessica wants her if she knows about her secret?

 

All of the sudden, the things that Sunny told her at the hospital, she heard it again right now like it tries to give her a courage or a motivation to fight with the demon that try to restrain her from seeing Jessica at the restaurant.

 

" with being single till you get divorced, and with being single just because you have DID, Taeyeonie! Tiffany was ing with your head too much! So what if you have DID? You still a person and you live healthily as of now. And so what if you and Tiffany are married right now?? Not that you two are in a real relationship. It's just a paper. I'm not saying that you should go and around right now, I'm telling you that you should stop being sorry for what you did to Seo and try to make it right this time. I disagree if you want to make her forget you like what you did to Seo by involving Tiffany like last time. If you said Jessica and you both like each other, then why don't you just give yourself a chance to love someone again? Who knows if she will be the one that you really want and can accept you in whatever circumstances? I don't want you to regret like this. You better take action and don't waste your time if she's still alive. You know that life is too short. We will never know when we will die. Not all of us will grow old and die with dementia. We may die tomorrow or in a few hours later. No one will know exactly our death time. You should know your field of work also can get you kill anytime. Mayday once because plane malfunction. Mayday twice because unforeseen weather condition. Mayday thrice because you bring politician, businessmen, famous people on your flight. The risk to die is higher even if you said security was tight when you have VVIP on your flight. So, what I want to say... if you love someone just be honest with your feeling. If the person rejects you, at least you already gave your best. Love is like a war, Taeyeonie. Nothing comes easy as you want. Take your best weapon, go fight and win it!!"

 

Sunny was like an expert love consultant that night to brainwash her when actually her childhood best friend never even once has dated before. Well, Sunny has confessed that she loved her when they were a teenager, but she broke Sunny's heart by wanting them to stay friend forever as she already felt Sunny was truly like her own blood sister. Gladly, it didn't break their friendship and Sunny was only taking a week to recover from her broken heart. They can’t easily break the special bond they have, she thought. Sunny has always been there for her. All of her friends were aware about what happen between her and Tiffany, actually. Sooyoung even gladly offered to help her paying the five million to free herself. However, she doesn’t take any of their offer as she wanted to settle her own problem with Tiffany. She knew Tiffany would not let her go or sign the divorce paper if she ever finds out that she got a help from any of her friends to pay her debt.

 

Believing that she could endure the thing that she scared to see or smell in the restaurant is not an easy battle, actually. Even if she always prepared herself for unforeseen circumstance like this, it is still not easy to do, honestly. She tries to fight her mind, trying to picturized something pleasing after seeing Jessica. The sound of heavy metal music was blasting in her car as her first trial. An attempt to distract her mind like what she learnt. There is no room to entertain her melancholy too, she thought. She can’t let herself be triggered to anything. It might be unwise if she splits at this time.

 

She wanted to leave from the place when she wanted to puke a couple of times. She hated so much if she has to be dependent with medication that she has been prescribed to fight with her anxiety right now. Why can't she fights it alone? She closed her eyes and took her time to inhale and exhale slowly till she becomes calmer once again. There's no doubt, the thing that she helps people will always become useable to herself as well. Yoga always helps to ease her mind.

 

She says the thing that she scared more loudly in her mind. It's animal meat! She just needs to bear with it for a while. There's nothing to be scared of seeing an animal meat. Jessica will be with her. She has a faith in Jessica. Jessica will not try to hurt her because that's what a lover will do. She wanted to trust her human instinct. Even if Jessica was mad, she knew Jessica would not try to harm her. She wanted to believe it like that because she knew Jessica after spending almost two weeks with her before. Jessica is only cold on the outside, but she knew Jessica was a different person when it comes to her inner feeling. That's what makes her beautiful and wants to love her more. She heard Donghae’s confession about what happen with Jessica last time.

 

Jessica was gang by Donghae’s friends. Donghae took the responsibility because he was the one who puts a roffie drug in Jessica’s drinks. He admitted that he wanted to join his friend doing something nasty, but he changed his mind after he knew she was a . Jessica gained consciousness next to him was all his plan. He thought he could be responsible for his terrible action. Unfortunately, their relationship was not an easy journey as what he wanted. He said Jessica kept on reminding him about the past and her dead babies. Overall, Jessica was sweet and took care of him really well while they were engaged, but that's not enough for him. As a guy, he has a need. He was left frustrated each time when Jessica refused to have intimate moment with him by being scared of something from the past. Taengoo thought Jessica's action can't help Donghae if he wants to continue their relationship again. Not only because what Donghae did in the past, but also because Jessica's heart is completely not for him anymore. So, she helps Donghae to move on by manipulating his mind with positive words on that night.

 

She sprayed herself almost a half bottle of her special edition perfume to fight with the smell of the thing that she doesn't want to see. Not enough that, she used the facemask with a mixture of herb for anxiety disorder so she could act more calmer. Mentho-Lyptus sugar free candy was all ready in her pocket too. She had three in right now as she prepared herself to walk into the restaurant. Maybe she was lucky because Jessica is the only customer at the restaurant as what she could see. She would have died puking all over the place if the restaurant was full house, she thought.

 

The message she sent to Sunny about her meet up venue with Jessica hasn't been read yet. But at least she complied with their request to update one of them if she ever needed to go to a place like this. The same like when she updated them about the address of her clients when she happened to receive a case. Sunny has saved her twice last time by giving her a sedative in one of her client's houses before her other personality come out. No case of changing personalities was recorded at that time as Sunny was being fast in taking an action before she lost consciousness on her own. Maybe, she was lucky that day because the thing scared her was not really that close to her body to make her do a sudden split.

 

 

*******

 

 

"Are you perhaps Song Taengoo-ssi?"

 

A young lady that taller a few inches than her and about early twenty that she believed working in the restaurant asked when she arrived just right in front of the entrance. Her eyes caught the closed sign at the front door immediately.

 

"Dae, I'm Song Taengoo. Perhaps, is the restaurant already closed right now?" She inquired directly. A coffee shop within walking distance from the restaurant is still open and maybe she and Jessica could go there if the restaurant is really closed, she hoped. The nametag of the staff and her position was visible to her sight while she waits for the answer.

 

"We are closed for now, but you can come in."

 

"Wait a minute..." She stopped the restaurant manager right away before the young lady with the name of Seolhyun brought her further in. "What do you mean by saying closed, but I can come in?"

 

"Your friend has booked the entire place for the dinner you about to have with her. We closed the restaurant to meet with her special request."

 

Taengoo got stunned, but she tried to cover her expression quickly. Now she understood why the restaurant was emptied and only sees Jessica. She felt burdened to know about this. It might be too much for Jessica to reserve the entire place for them. Because the restaurant was famous and really grand, she believed it might be expensive to reserve the whole place. Somehow, she felt a little ease to know it. Her gut that saying Jessica will protect her was right. Jessica was acting just the same when she had a dinner at their house with her family. It makes her want to comfort Jessica right away upon knowing about this. She doesn’t know how she should pay Jessica back in the future for arranging this kind of dinner for them. This looks like a real date for them. She smiles. They are about to have a date.

 

"May I know if she already paid or not? If she's not, I wanted to settle the bill earlier for us. How much should I pay?"

 

"She did once she