Author's POV:

 

 

The personality stares in depth to the tampon she had been given by the girl. Awhile later a clear smug appeared on her face. She’s not feeling funny with the thing she held in her hand, but rather feeling odd. Her observation feels like infinity. The two and a half inch white plug is not that thick in diameter if she wants to put it inside her . However, she wonders how it would make them feel to insert that kind of thing inside a for hours. Can that thing absorb blood really well? How long will it last for each usage? Two hours? Three hours? Is it for heavy flow? Did she require to change it frequently? She has a lot of unanswered thoughts that she can’t figure out on her own. How can she say the Kid Leader has no experience when she, herself has no knowledge of this thing? She tried to comfort herself by arguing mentally that at least she knows about their menstrual cycle and she knows how to use a pad.

 

"I wonder about something..." She broke the ice after a moment of silence, trying to make a conversation with the skinny girl who wore a plain shirt that tucked in nicely on her skinny jeans. It looks simple, yet very attractive for her kind of view. Would it be her long black and a little wavy hair that gives her a bonus to look extra appealing? Or is it because she has a beautiful features that make her look simply gorgeous? "How does it feel inserting it inside a , darling? Is it like having a finger stuck inside?"

 

Jessica tried to clear upon receiving the alter’s doubt. She was least expected to hear something like that coming from the alter's mouth. Her face felt so hot again. She was too shy to stay in this kind of conversation, especially when the alter keeps her eyes glued on her. A visible smug on the alter's face managed to call more unwanted anxiety to herself right now. She doesn't know why that look feels so intimidating when they just purely normal. Not that she had never seen that smug on Taengoo's face before.

 

"I don’t know."

 

Here come the trouble. Hiding the knowledge that Jessica suddenly felt hard to share so openly.

 

"You don’t know?"

 

"Well, maybe you will feel discomfort if you are using it for the first time." Jessica gave her point after receiving a fast response from the alter.

 

It felt like she was a kid and she has been interrogated by her mother for trying to put an end to the topic she doesn't have any interest to discuss or to have a talk anymore. Maybe giving the personality the tampon was really a bad idea. She should propose using a pad instead of using a tampon if she doesn't want to drag this conversation longer. Not that the convenience shop is located far from their rented apartment. They have a few markets within walking distance where they can give a visit for a little while. Furthermore, she needs to buy their food supply as well. And not that this personality is a little kid for her to be worried if she ever tried to escape from her.

 

"Can you describe more about what kind of discomfort feeling that I will experience if I use them?" The personality blurted out her curiosity again.

 

"Umm..." Jessica lost the word that she wants to say in her head.

 

The personality makes Jessica feel like she was a dummy without any reason. If not, why she needs to organize her sentence carefully right now? It felt so crazy. What’s so hard explaining to the personality about a tampon?

 

"Will it eventually makes the user getting highly aroused for having it inside a for too long? Because to me they look just like an index finger. I can't imagine having a thing like a finger penetrates inside of my and stayed there for hours. Is that what you were trying to say when you say discomfort? Or perhaps, will it make the user feel uneasy to move here and there? I mean, if you are moving too much will that thing moving too? Like maybe it went in and out of your ?" The alter expressed her other thoughts about the item more.

 

"No!!" Jessica strongly denied.

 

Her voice was kind of loud this time. Her hands suddenly become so moist. Highly aroused? With a tampon? Oh, gosh! The alter has no idea how she wants to break the tampon into two pieces so badly after hearing her arguments. What the hell has she been thinking with a tampon? She never had any experience of getting for using it before. Is the personality trying to make fun of her choice? Or is it just her alone who overthinking about the words the alter voiced out? She tried to calm herself, telling herself that she was handling the personality that she has no idea. It might be just the alter's curiosity. She can't be mad at her. Reminding herself like that works better to change her mood to be neutral again.

 

"Your strong objection make it sounds like a yes, darling. Yes or no, darling?"

 

This time, the alter gave Jessica a smirk that almost making Jessica switched to be in her HellSica mood if she doesn't remind herself constantly that she was handling a mentally ill person, not that little devil, although their face is just the same. Jessica really felt the connection or resemblance between this personality and that little devil too by hearing her 'yes and no' judgements. If she throws a fit, the alter might get scared with her, since she is not Taengoo who can handle her childish outburst. So, she inhales deeply, taking a moment of her time till she felt completely calm again.

 

"I think, we can just forget about using this." Jessica said in almost a whispering tone before she took the tampon from the alter's hand with a cheeky smile.

 

That is still her, not her HellSica yet. Because she tries to master her calming persona brilliantly by giving her smile. She hopes her action will end the alter's interrogation or curiosity right away. She remembered Mother Teresa's quote saying, ‘peace begins with a smile.’ If smiling is not enough, she will try to be cute by using a baby voice to charm and bother the alter like crazy. Can the personality handle her baby voice?

 

Jessica got snapped too quickly. She felt afraid with her own thought. What the hell is wrong with her? She will never go to that extent! She hates when she recalls her sister always used that voice on her whenever Krystal wants to get something from her. Krystal was doing that the last time when she answered her phone call. Thus, she will never use a baby voice for that reason alone. What if the personality will label her as annoying?

 

"We can go to the convenience store to buy pads together. There is one market closer to this building if you don't mind to go out with me for a while." Jessica explained more in an attempt to win her bargain.

 

"Hmm... I second your idea, darling!" The alter firmly announced with a returning smile, trying to copy the pretty smile that Jessica has on her face.

 

It felt like a chain reaction to see Jessica’s wonderful smile. A smile for a smile, she thought. Honestly, she prefers using a pad after seeing the tampon. Her first impression about seeing a tampon physically wasn’t that bad, actually. The only problem she had, she doesn’t think she wants to insert that kind of thing inside her anymore. She had a change of mind because of the other personalities might receive an unwanted shock or dislike her choice if they ever come out to replace her. She needs to consider their imperfection for her action. For that reason, choosing something not odd is her choice for now.

 

On the other hand, her positive reply really brought a joy into Jessica's life. Jessica was smiling so genuinely at her. A feeling of a good relief. The real big one. Thankfully, the personality agrees to her suggestion, Jessica thought. Her burden felt like have been lifting up from her shoulder that instant. No more need to deal with any future anxiety attack, like how should she helps the alter for using a tampon. The alter's secret thoughts make Jessica aware the real reason behind all the questions she received from the alter too. She can’t agree more. Using a tampon is not a good thing in Taengoo’s current situation. The alter is so thoughtful, she thought. Just how old is she? She really eager to know.

 

"Please give me a minute to change my clothes to something more like me."

 

"I'm sorry…" Jessica stopped the alter from leaving by walking a little closer to her. She was only one foot away from the alter right now. Taengoo’s addicting scent is not that strong compared to a few hours ago. It can’t make her feel high or anything. Would it be because the Kid Leader already wore a different outfit? Now she wonders what kind of dress that this alter prefers to wear to represent her identity. "You haven’t told me your name yet. May I know your name and maybe your age?"

 

"I’m 42 years old. You may call me Ahjumma Taeng. And what shall I call you, darling?"

 

"Jessica. And I’m 28."

 

"Nice meeting you, kid!"

 

Jessica just watched the personality who already left to get into the bathroom inside of the room. She has no time to make arguments in her head on anything the alter says about her as a kid. Because she knew, looking for her daughter is the most important thing to do right now. She has to convince Hyomin about another roleplay that they are about to play. This time Taengoo will change a role as an ahjumma in her early forties and both of them are like a kid to Ahjumma Taeng.

 

The last thing that she doesn't want to happen is to make her kid got scared to Taengoo's alter. She can't handle if she has to see her daughter crying. So far, she had been doing great to prevent her daughter from crying or being suspicious with their roleplay. She prayed hard her daughter will accept Ahjumma Taeng just like how she accepts the Kid Leader.

 

If she tries to think deeply, every second of her time was spent with something today. It doesn't get wasted for overthinking some weird stuff, like dying anymore. Should she be thankful to Taengoo for making her time well-spent? Or should she be mad at Taengoo for following her and let her deal with something like this alone? She decided to be neutral for now. She still doesn’t know about Ahjumma Taeng other than her name and age.

 

 

 

 

Alternate personality profile:

Ahjumma Taeng – 42y/o woman, a nurse. She knows how to treat the injury that the Kid Leader initiated. Easily to entertain, soft-spoken, very well-known for her ahjumma laughter. She thought she was a comedic type of person. Jeonju Makgeolli (rice wine) was her favourite drink. Red wine was the substitute. Loving trot song and dancing. She enjoyed homemade food a lot. Noryangjin Fish Market and Jeonju Hanok Village are the two places she loved to visit. She loved Rose flower the most. The scent is just too refreshing. Not a strong alter to control the body longer. The longest time she ever controlled the body was when Taengoo visited Jeonju in her seventeen. She almost got married with an ahjusshi that has a face like actor Gang Dongwon in Jeondong Catholic Church during that time. The most memorable memory she has is a kiss she gave to Gang Dongwon's doppelganger before she passed out. The alcohol she consumed was the reason for her misbehaviour. Normally, she is very well-behaved.

Alternate factor to appear: Trigger from the young alters (She is a caretaker alter)

Dress code: Floral dresses, Hanbok

Weakness: Low alcohol tolerance

 

 

*******

 

 

Half an hour ago, Jessica had a scrumptious dinner with her adorable kid and Ahjumma Taeng. The dinner was prepared solely by Jessica. She made them Pesto Pasta with Avocadoes. A famous California-inspired pesto pasta recipe that she once cooked for Taengoo when she stayed with her. Her restriction of certain food made her choosing to prepare the vegetarian meal for them. Presently, she can't eat everything she wants without ending up to throw up. Consuming a lot of fruits and veggies are considered her normal meal these past a few months. Pasta is one of her choices. And she successfully