Author’s POV:

 

 

Jessica could hardly put Zero down on the toilet seat when the personality suddenly felt a lot of heavier in the last a few seconds he was in her arms. Maybe because she was carrying him for more than her time limit. Her muscle must have been strained too much. She would like to know how many calories she had burned to carry him just now. The tension was real. She could feel her sweat trickle down, wetting her face and body. It felt so hot like she had just done one round of sprints in the football field. She exhaled exhaustedly once she completed her task to place him down, taking a tissue located on top of the dressing table near to the white ceramic sink to wipe and clean her sweaty face.

 

Never in her life had she carried any heavy object. The dumbbell workout that she had ever done with her personal trainer before was only up to 5kg. Taengoo was the first human she ever had in her arms in that manner. Officially, Taengoo just broke her personal life record. Her arms looked so red right now. It left a temporary mark. Not that she cares that much about it, actually. She thought it was normal to have them. It will be gone pretty soon. More importantly, her job was well done. She felt satisfied and proud of herself to accomplish half of her mission. Right now, she needs to worry the other half of her mission.

 

She grabbed another tissue to wipe Zero's cold sweat. Doing it carefully with tender, love, and care. She trusted that animal personality also have feeling and need TLC from her. After all, Zero is still Taengoo. She should treat them fairly. She sighed when the word fairly registered in her head. It seems like she treats Taengoo's alter more gentle than Taengoo in term of language. She is such a bias. Only because she thought they are a special person who needs a guidance and a little tolerance from her.

 

Zero could be obedient and he could be naughty depending on his mood. Right now, he was sitting like a human already. He’s not trying to squat like an animal. Maybe it's really a good sign when she doesn't need to guide him. The only problem she might face is, how to take off his or how to instruct him? Perhaps, she will tell him verbally to see his reaction.

 

Jessica realized that Zero was avoiding to look at her face ever since a while ago. Her trial to clean his face with the tissue didn't trouble her that much too. It seems like the personality just let her do whatever she wants with him. She heard he was humming all the way to the toilet after the last she commented about his hand and he was still humming until now. Is he upset? But that can't be... he was smiling like a ert when she recalled about it again. Why was he humming like that? It's like he's meditating the 'OM' mantra.

 

Zero knows Yoga?

 

In her observation, Zero looks very calm with his sitting posture. He sat straight with his hands are on his lap and his legs are closing together. The ‘good boy’ vibe was notably had in him, she thought. He was so mannerly. Weird, when she thought maybe he is not the Zero that she knows already. Not even his head tilts sideways or his eyes blink rapidly like what Zero always did since the first she knew about him. It felt so different to see him acting so normal or so behave like that. Her curiosity brought her to question why Zero was sitting without showing any discomfort. He didn't even complain a thing or ask anything as well. He was so quiet outside, but not inside. The Yoga mantra she could hear them continuously.

 

"Zero..." She threw the tissues in her hand in the nearby trash to pay attention and see Zero’s reaction. She got a hunch like the animal personality in front of her is not in there already. This person might be another personality. Why she didn't notice the change? "Is everything alright?" She asked the personality to check her suspicion.

 

"Dae... Zero is okay."

 

This time it was her time to stay quiet. Zero was avoiding to make any eye-contact and was speaking with her without a slur or repetition. Isn't that strange? As to what she knows, Zero never speaks like that. Should she ask him again to double check her doubt?

 

"Why are you so quiet?"

 

"Zero doesn’t know what to say to noona." She muttered slowly with her eyes looking nowhere other than the floor.

 

Jessica could confirm positively that she is not Zero from the way the personality replied to her at this state. The person talked fluently without a slur and not also with a puff, bark, growl, or howl following after his speech. Who is this personality in front of her who tries to pretend like Zero? From the way the personality talked, she seems like the person that she knows. She is not an expert about a D.I.D, but she trusts her instinct that saying this personality is not Zero, not DJ Taengoo, and not also Kim TaeHyuk. If she is not them, then who was she? Kim Byuntae? A new personality? Or...

 

"You said you want to pee." She tried to build another conversation, getting a bit impatient to know about this person.

 

All that Jessica knows, Kim Byuntae will never let her touch her physically. Her sensual touched at the restaurant last night has raised a big issue to Byuntae when she drew a clear line in between them. She asked her to have a good gap from her body and asked her not to simply touch her anywhere again without her approval. This person won't let her wipe her sweat just know if she is Byuntae. Is she really a new personality or maybe the person that she had on her mind?

 

"Oh..." The person scratched her non-itchy head. Now only the feeling of urgency to pee came to her sense again. Her bladder feels full. feels so dry. Her vision gets cloudy. Her air feels shallow. It took her a few seconds to calm herself again with the right breathing technique. "Zero will pee shortly." She told the other person calmly. "Can noona please wait outside and closed the door?"

 

"Don't you want noona to assist you?"

 

The person nervously shook her head with her face blushed horribly for the offer. The word 'assist' terrified her. She wondered what kind of assistance would that be. "Zero can do it on my own, noona. Zero already gave too much trouble to noona for carrying me here. Zero feels ashamed to trouble noona even more. Can noona please leave Zero to pee alone? Zero will call noona if Zero needs anything."

 

Jessica doesn't need to be told twice. She left the person quietly upon discovering who she was. Her hunch is not wrong this time. She closed the toilet door and lean against it. Her face was burning when her palms meet with her cheeks.

 

Song Taengoo?

 

She got back to herself?

 

The two questions makes her heart thud vigorously. Jessica covered quickly when tears were threatening to fall from the corner of her eyes. She won't let herself make a noise if ever she cried. This feeling that she had this very moment, she can't describe them fully. She doesn't know if she felt happy more or she felt surprise more to know Taengoo was finally back to her sense again. She really wants to see her after she changed last night because she thought what happened to Taengoo was all her fault. She should have never invited her to visit the restaurant. Nothing like this will ever happen to Taengoo if she never played that stupid dare game or follow her anger. Getting emotional at a time like this is really a bad choice, but she can't really help herself. She felt responsible and bad for calling Taengoo's alter to appear one by one. If it's not her fault, maybe she will still cry from happiness. Why can't she be happy when Taengoo got back to herself again?

 

She heard a flush sound from the toilet in the mid of blaming herself mentally, so she quickly moved to her desk and wiped a few droplets of tears on her cheeks. She is not going to let Taengoo taking a glimpse of her crying face. What if she makes her worry by showing her emotion to the mentally ill person?

 

It's not a minute or two, but more than ten minutes Jessica waited her. It really bothers Jessica now. What if she changed again before she could talk with her and what if she doesn't want to see her because of the pressure from her alters? Only a minute that she could give her more. If she doesn't come out after that, she will try to knock and check on her. Like the person knew she had been given a timeline, she exactly came out of the private toilet room after a minute was over. Jessica doesn't feel surprised to see her walking like a normal human because obviously she is not Zero. She can't keep her eyes off of her when the person walks closer and closer to her working desk while trying to scan her office for a moment before she brings her attention all to her.

 

"Hi! Can I sit here?"

 

She greeted and asked gently, presenting her fresh and clean look to the other person who sat across from her. It felt like she was coming to a job interview to sit in front of the gorgeous ladyboss. The ladyboss's makeup was so plain and simple today, but she still looks fabulous and presentable as always. The little sparkle in her eyes and her tight facial muscle caught her off guard, anyway. She wondered if she had tried to suppress herself from not crying. Is she meant that much to her? It eats her soul silently to see her like this.

 

The question brought Jessica to remember the same lines from Taengoo at the restaurant last night. She nodded to give her approval to sit in the provided chair right there. This politeness that she experienced only make it clear to the person's identity. Slightly, it upsets her when she can't hear her thoughts at this distance. She crossed her arms against her chest, trying to read her expression when she can't hear her thought. Her gown looks organized, her face looks clean from any dirt, and her blonde hair is not that messy anymore. She claimed the look back as the owner of her body.

 

Charming as its finest!

 

"May I know your name?" She asked before it was too late to raise the question. Can't help to be worried if she changed again. She wanted to hear from the person's own mouth, even if she already knew who she was.

 

Jessica doesn't get the answer that she wants straightforwardly as the person that she believed as Taengoo seems like having a difficulty to announce her identity. It makes her want to stand up and sit beside her, but she decides to stay put. She is not going to move anywhere yet. She won't push Taengoo to announce it if she doesn't feel like she wants to tell her. She tried to put herself in her shoes, especially after she recalls the word 'ashamed' and 'trouble' that she mentioned in the toilet.

 

The might this, and the might that come to a light for Jessica. She had her own arguments in her head about all the 'might'. The thought of Taengoo might feel embarrassed or feel she had troubled her make her decide to understand her situation. Taengoo might be in a dilemma to announce who she was, she thought. Her hesitations to come out from the toilet might be because of it as well. For someone who has a D.I.D, she knew it might be tough to see other peoples' reaction about their imperfection. Taengoo might have a lot of negative thoughts about her point of view on her. Yes, she is a counsellor, but she is also a human. She could still experience the anxiety and pressure, although she might can minimize or control the feeling. Therefore, she understands if she can't reveal her identity. How she wished that Taengoo knows that she was fine, despite that she felt shocked about it at the beginning.