Hey-yeom!

For those who don't like angst, just bear with me for a few more chapters. PLEASEEEEEE:D Be patient! Haha~ Enjoy this chappie.! The song "I Told You I Wanna Die" by Huh Gak was recommended by efestione, and the lyrics somehow totally fit my plans for this chapter!!!! Efestione, this is for you<3 PLEASEEEEE read the author's note at the back. Ppyong<3

Read, Comment and Subscribe~

*Myungsoo POV*

It’s been three days. Three days since I started watching over Yeol. Three days of watching him cry himself to sleep. Three days of suffering, hearing his agonized wails echo throughout the whole house. He had decided not to move in with Hoya and Dongwoo, because he insisted that he was fine, not wanting to trouble them. And also he knew that if he stayed with them, he would just be reminded about all memories with me. Hey, there’s a reason why Dongwoo and I are best friends. We’re both cheesy bastards. They hesitated at first, but Sungyeol kept insisting that he was fine, so they complied.

Honestly, I was worried for him. In front of the others he would act like he’s alright, forcing smiles which the guys would obviously be too caught up in their own world to notice the insincerity, but when he’s alone, or so he thinks, he’ll break down.

I was sitting next to him on the couch, just watching him as he spaced out, staring at the carpet, flashing bitter smiles every now and then. He was sweating furiously too. I furrowed my eyebrow, wondering what was the cause of his incessant sweating. Then I realized that he was wearing a long sleeved shirt. Was he out of his mind? Sure, it’s winter, but his heater was turned up so high that even I could feel the heat. 

These few days, I had decided to give Yeollie more privacy. And by giving him more privacy, I mean not following him to the toilet and into the shower. Heh. It’s a nice sight though.

He suddenly jolted up from the couch, making me fall back in surprise, and shuffled his way to the toilet in his bunny slippers that I had bought for him while we were in Myungdong on a date. Aigoo, this kid. He goes to the toilet like, five times every two hours. And yet I don’t see him drink much water. Weirdo. Ahh… that’s why I love him. He’s just such a choding. He can be so weird and random sometimes. Like when we’re discussing homework and he’ll suddenly talk about the cleanliness of public toilets, or when we’re gossiping like girls about stuff and he’ll start talking about a lost kitten he found, or-

Wait a minute. Why was he taking so long? It’s been at least 5 minutes already and I haven’t heard a single sound come from the toilet. Worried, I took a deep breath and went into the toilet. Even though I know I’ve pledged to give him some privacy but hey, I’m just a concerned boyfriend, y’know?

I gasped, staring at the sight before me, tears filling my eyes.

He was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, his eyes closed. And then, I saw it. I saw the harsh, angry red scars on your arm. He was cutting himself. The frequent and long trips to the bathroom. I should have known something was wrong. But now I know. And I wish I was the one bleeding instead of him. He’s too precious to hurt. But he’s hurting, and it’s all my fault.

My fault that I had left him alone, to face this harsh, cruel world yourself. Technically I’m younger than him, but his choding like personality compared to my serious personality, I’m more mature. I was supposed to guide him through life, and grow old with him. But I guess that’s impossible…

And like the fool I am, the weak and useless fool I am, I just stood there, crying and screaming for him to stop, knowing that he’ll never hear me. I watched, sobbing as he took the tip of the penknife and pressed it against the surface of his wrist, dragging it along his milky smooth skin, digging it in deeper and deeper.

The deeper he dug, the more I screamed for him to stop. The more I hurt. I could actually feel his pain. I screamed as I watched the penknife dig into his skin once again, scarring the once flawless skin, leaving irreversible red lines. I crumpled to the floor, my heart aching too much for me to handle. I clutched my chest, my head throbbing. I screamed and doubled over on the floor, wishing for him to stop. Just looking at him like this, his pale lips lifted slightly into a weak smile as he dragged the blade along his wrist, his lips slightly parted, his eyes rolled to the back of his head in pleasure. A tear crashed onto the floor. I remember when his expression was like that. But it was under much different circumstances.

Knowing there was nothing I could do about it, a lightbulb lit in my head and transported off, out of the toilet, leaving my love in his position.

I returned after awhile, watching over him, weeping at his self-harm. “Baby, please don’t do this, it’s not gonna help. Please. Live better. You don’t deserve to hurt this way.” I sobbed, muttering incoherent pleas for him to stop, despite him not being able to hear me.

Just then, the door slammed open.

Annyeong! Pleaseeeee support my previous oneshots here! And comment too! I really love comments:D

A Bitter Day - http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/57407/a-bitter-day-angst-b2st-hyunseung-junhyung-junseung-romance-junhara

I Shouldn't Have Said It (Continuation of A Bitter Day) - http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/62756

Fiction - http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/57577

On Rainy Days - http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/57600

Our Story - http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/61637

Like A Movie - http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/68128

THANKS!!!