Born March 9^th 1989 my parents gave me the name Tae-Yeon. Kim Taeyeon. As a baby I don’t remember much but I didn’t live up to my name as it meant “calm”. I was rather a mischievous child who liked to go on adventures with her older brother. Somewhat hyper and energetic, my parent didn’t handle me well but it was okay as our family lived a quiet life in the countryside. Running around and playing in the empty fields that surrounded our home was a typical day for the Kim siblings. That was until we fast forward into me entering school.

Our family made a huge change by moving closer to the city at age 10. Wanting my brother to go to high school in the city to get into a better university, our family packed up and moved. My father opened a small shop and my mother worked for my father. No more open fields and fresh air, I could no longer live the carefree life that I once had. The school system also constrained my amount of free time to play around. Life was different.

Fast forward to my first kiss. I was a freshman in high school when it happened unexpectedly. I never had a person, other than some idols, who made me flutter with excitement and joy. You could say that for 13 years, I never had anyone who caught my attention. However, I was the object of attention for a certain boy a few grades above me named Junsu. He took me to the side of the school building and confessed his ‘love’ for me and ended the confession with a kiss. So simple that my first kiss was just like that, but like many boys after him, I would reply with a simple, ‘no.’

High school was not special and I got a nickname as a loner and a reputation for rejecting all confessions. I can’t lie to the fact that these rumors bothered me. Yet they were not untrue. What was wrong with rejecting someone I had no interest in and being alone because she has a fear of rejection herself? What did it matter anyway as all we did in school was study and prepare for university...

That was until I met my first really good friend. Fast forwarding to my senior year of high school, Sunny transferred into my school and her energy sought me out and broke into my little shell to become my friend. We were best of friends. That last little bit of my high school life was the greatest. Experiencing a real friendship once in my life was something I would regret that I didn’t do earlier. Talking in class, outings to the mall and ice cream, sleepovers, and sharing secrets...it was all so wonderful that is until university.

After graduation, Sunny decided to go to a university out of the city while I stayed and went to a very prestigious university. Being a ‘loner’ allowed me to focus on studies and my grades tended to be on the higher end for that reason. Getting into such a good university was not the reward I thought I would get for being socially isolated but I am sure this was not a bad thing.

University life went by in a flash until life itself stood still for a second. I was in the library preparing for 3 exams that week because every professor seemed to plot this evil plan of making every exam that specific week. Well it seemed that way at least. So I was sitting at my table looking at my notes but after about an hour I was bored and decided to stretch. It was enough time for me to look up from my books to see the first person that ever made my heart beat erratically. It was a girl. She was not much taller than me with beautifully strawberry blonde hair. She could be a model with her looks, but she was definitely a student making that idea nonexistent. So the unusual instant I found a gorgeous and smart girl that made my heart beat fast and time nonexistent… that event finally happened in my life.

Thoughts immediately swarmed my head. Initially, I thought of how to approach her, then thoughts of what it would be like if we were actually together, but then the painful thoughts came. How could a girl like that be single? Impossible! No way! Stop dreaming Kim Taeyeon!

“Do you mind if I join you?”

I stopped staring into space to focus on the person in front of me. I was speechless. The girl I was fantasizing about was holding onto her books tightly and asking politely if she could use the other side of my table. I quickly scanned the room to see why she would be at my table specifically. I saw several other tables had a spot so why mine?

“Umm… if it is occupied, I won’t be offended. There are others…”

“No!” I shook my head, “I mean, no one is here but me.” I quickly organized my papers to give her some more room, “please.”

I looked up at her hopefully as if she would run away once she figured out I was a weirdo, but she didn’t run. She sat opposite of me to study. Of course my focus was shattered. I couldn’t see what was on the pages in front of me anymore and I took many glances at her as if she were going to disappear any second, but she was always there when I looked up. Yet my chance to observe her was shattered when I received a text saying I was late to my next class. Clumsily I rushed to put my papers in my bag and almost tripped to make my escape. Embarrassed, I looked at her to see if she might have saw my blunder… she did as her brown eyes bore into me and she had a slight smile as if she was trying to contain a loud burst of laughter. I wanted to tell her to let it out, but I was unable to say any words before I left. After that, time went fast again.

One could say I was a master of routine. I was comfortable being stuck in a rut of a weekly schedule that never changed. Classes, eating and sleeping were my activities and I was okay with that. I had a few friends that would break me out of my usual day but not much. Focusing on just the basics made time go by fast and before I knew it, the semester was coming to an end, but that was when the most usual thing happened. I saw her again, or more like she saw me.

“Did you know that you eat here at exactly 11:45am, in this exact seat every Monday, Thursday and Friday?” I looked up at her in amazement and wondered if she was stalking me or something, “I mean… those are the days I come here to eat from 11:30-12 before my next class.” Okay… not exactly a stalkerish thing but one thing was clear, she notices me, “oh! You might not remember me from the library?”

I shook my head, “I remember.” Seriously who doesn’t remember an angel that fell from heaven?

She smiled brightly at me, “My name is Jessica.”

I went to shake her hand, “Taeyeon.”

She looked around a bit before turning her attention on me, “Do you not have friends to sit with?” I shook my head no, “do you mind if I join you on the days I have lunch here? I liked being table buddies from before.” A friendship had to start somewhere and with Jessica and I, we became table buddies.

Life was never fast with Jessica around. She slowed my swirling days of inactivity with laughter and emotional battlement. I was falling form her deeply and that made me use self-constraint to stop myself from jumping her. I could imagine us being more intimate but I tried not to hang onto a fake reality when I was sure she and I could not move past the friend line.

Well… that was the thought for that year. When the next year started, I found our friendship progressing fast. She was either at my place or I was at her place. If we thought about our living situations a bit better the year before, we could have been roommates but neither of us had that idea at the time. Also, I never would have thought of November 4 to be a day I would never forget.

I feel like everything important happens at night time when people are in situations to be alone. Jessica and I planned a Disney movie marathon with popcorn and a tub of ice cream to celebrate the end of midterms. After the first two movies we both agreed this movie idea should be a new tradition for every big testing event. Then it was by the fourth movie that we ran out of ice cream and considered going to the store to buy more. I offered to roll Jessica to the store since she was so stuffed but she just pushed me away and whined saying she wasn’t chubby.

Eventually, the movie was forgotten as she went to tackle me with her pillow to shut me up. At the end of the fight, the movie was long over and she laid next to me exhausted. I looked at her and she looked at me.

“Tae… why does love come so easily in the movies?”

“Because it is just a movie.”

Jessica sighed and looked at the ceiling, “I think it is because the characters have a set ending in mind thanks to the script writers. If the ending was unknown, they wouldn’t be so courageous to boldly follow their love like that.”

I nodded because she was usually very perceptive, “is the ending that scary to never actually be brave?”

“I think when love is involved, the ending is frightening.”

“But it wouldn’t be if we knew the ending….” I felt like I was just repeating her words as I thought about my lack of courage to confess my love to her, “what if I wanted to write my own ending?”

Jessica looked me in the eyes, “how can you just write your own ending?”

I swallowed hard as I completely turned my body towards her making us unbelievably close, “there is a brief moment where your ideal ending can come true.”

She still was looking into my eyes, “when?”

“The moment when the earth stands still and you control the brief second, the other person is unaware of what is happening.”

“Shock?”

I smiled and nodded, ”yes. Shock.”

Then for about five seconds I was in shock as her lips collided with mine. She was going to back away and ruin her fantasy, but she didn’t know that I wanted to keep living mine so I went to hold her close and let her lips stayed glued. An ending like the movies only come true if both parties wrote the same one… in this case, our endings matched perfectly.

That night we kissed and held each other close as if we feared separation would mean that moment would break or one of us would wake from our dream. Yet this was not one of us dreaming. We both were in the other’s embrace exposing our emotions through our touch and simple words. It was then on November 4, we became a couple.

From that moment on, we were inseparable. A few close friends knew we were an item but it wouldn’t be until our senior year of college that we decided together that we would tell our parents. I am sure most would think it is a bad idea to keep a 3 year relationship a secret from your parents but we were not sure how the conservative and much less homoual generation would take our news. We were in agreement to tell them only when we were sure this relationship was more than a short lived experience.

“I can tell you are nervous.”

I shifted the weight in my legs as I waited outside the house, “Jessica...what if the say—“

“No...Taeyeon that won’t happen. They love you...us...things will turn out okay.”

“But if they don’t?”

“If they don’t, then we still have each other right?” I smiled at the confidence Jessica was giving off. She was always so sure about things, even though her slightly sweaty palms told me that she was just as nervous as me.

Knowing I needed to be strong for her too, I raised up our intertwined hands and kissed hers gently, “We will be together always.”

I said that not knowing things would become stained. Jessica’s father strongly disapproved of our relationship while my parents were also disapproving yet they chose to turn a blind eye for my happiness. It wasn’t easy for Jessica though. She used to be very close to her father and he chose to shut her out completely with the news of our relationship. I always blamed myself for their broken relationship although Jessica said it was hers too. We chose love...love isn’t always easy.

What hurt her the most was that her father didn’t even show up to our wedding. It was her sister who ushered her down the aisle towards me. What was supposed to be a magical time for the both of us, left her in tears in the end. I wondered if I really made the right decision. Would my love be enough to heal her? There would be many days like that in the first year of our marriage, but Jessica would never let me think that way for long as she kissed away all my fears.

In the third year of our marriage, we thought of kids. Did we want to start a family? Knowing my parents wanted grandchildren, Jessica decided to get pregnant. I was surprised that she chose to hold the baby because it was my parents that were pressuring us.

Having two children would be the best decision we made together. Not wanting to miss out on being a grandfather, Jessica’s father made up with his daughter for the sake of his grandchildren. Jessica was brighter than ever since then. We had one happy family. Jessica and I had so much love to give to each other and our children that they group up to be great people.

Amazingly, I looked at our children all grown up and ready to have family of their own...when did they grow from our precious baby into adults? When did Jessica and I get wrinkles on our faces?

As I look back, I can see that time moved so quickly. When I was captivated in my happiness with you, that was when I saw the days move faster, although we only wanted time to stand still in those moments. Yet we are not one to control time and I am afraid our time is winding down together, but I am sure that when we meet in the heavens above, we can forever be together...forever. I love you Jessica Jung and you will always be in my heart...past...present...and future, that is where you remain. Never forget that we had already wrote the same ending to our story...together.

~END~

Author's Note

Can you belive I started writing this in July of last year?? As you can tell your author is really behind on writing. I am doing my best! Although I must say I am very busy right now. I will continue to try and make sure The Resistance has regular updates but other stories might have very long waits until things cool down for me by March.

Thanks for the support! *Goes to listen to Rain*