The doctor told me that I needed a few days rest before returning to work so I was mostly working at home on my laptop and eating food that was brought over in containers by Sunny. I don’t know why but every time I opened a container of food, I would hope it tasted as good as the food Jessica gave me. I don’t know why I kept thinking about her (and the food) but my mind was always drifting away from my work and to that girl I met in the hospital.

Now that I was well enough to return to work, I was secretly hoping to pass her on the streets or something like that but the first two days back at work, I never came across her. There was no reason for me to be disappointed for not seeing a girl I only knew for a brief amount of time, but why was I feeling this way?

“Taeyeon is Sunny taking you home today?”

I looked up to see my coworker standing over my desk, “Oh no she has her job today. I was going to take a taxi back.”

“How about I take you? I pass your place when I go home and it is easier since we work together?”

I smiled at the thoughtful ness of my dongsaeng, “I would like that Seohyun.”

With her face brightening up at my answer, I suspected she might have feelings for me, but I wasn’t planning on leading her on. I just could use another friend other than Sunny and I wasn’t really in a position to not accept favors when given. “I will be done in an hour or two. That won’t be too long of a wait?”

“No unnie that is fine. I have work to do also.”

“Oh such a hard worker.”

I could see her blush a bit before putting on a shy smile, “I ah should get back to my desk.”

After waving the girl off, I popped in two pills before resuming the work I had to get done for the day, but with so much work piled up, I didn’t realize two hours passed already, “Unnie have you finished?”

I looked up again and Seohyun was waiting. I couldn’t have the girl wait any longer now that it was 7pm so I decided to take the rest of my work home, “Sure. Let me just pack up.”

The girl saw me struggling with the heavy files so she decided to help me put the necessary documents into my bag before helping me up and onto my crutches. “Thank you.”

“Here, let me take your bag too.”

“Oh no, I can handle it just fine.” The girl didn’t listen to me and took my bag while we made our way to the elevator, “Seohyun thanks for doing this.”

“It is no problem. I am sure you would do the same for any friend too.” This girl really was caring. I hope she finds someone good to date in the future.

The two of us made our way out of the building but my heart and crutches stopped when a familiar girl passed in front of me, “Jessica?”

Seohyun stopped when she heard me say the name of another, “Taeyeon...so we meet again? And umm?”

Jessica was looking at Seohyun as if she was a potential threat, “This is Seohyun. She works with me and was just helping me go home.”

Seohyun and Jessica smiled and shook hands while I stood watching, “It was nice seeing you Taeyeon. I hope you get home safely.”

I could see Jessica wanted to leave but I chose to be brave enough to not let her slip away again, “Jessica!” The girl turned around and met my gaze, “Could I possibly have your number? I mean I was wondering how Krystal was doing but I couldn’t contact you or see if you wanted coffee or umm...”

Jessica was giggling at my nervousness, “Yes Kim Taeyeon you may have my number.”

With the approval of Jessica I looked over to Seohyun right away who had my bag, “Umm Seohyun...my phone is in my bag.”

Seohyun broke from her daze and looked at the bag she was holding before taking it to me, “Sorry unnie.”

Since my phone was in the outer pocket, I easily took it out and collected Jessica’s number, “Thanks. So umm did you want coffee some time?”

That beautiful smile gave me the answer before she could even say those words, “I would love that.”

---------------------------

I didn’t know how long it would take for me to hobble over to this café so I ended up arriving much earlier than the time Jessica told me to come, but that didn’t bother me much. I got a good seat near the back that allowed me to prop up my bad leg so I wasn’t in any kind of discomfort while I sipped my latte. “Taeyeon.”

I looked up from the papers I was reading, “Oh you are here.”

Jessica took a seat next to me, “You already ordered?”

I looked down at the latte, “I ah came much earlier. I didn’t know what you like so order what you like. I can wait.”

Jessica called the waiter over and got the same as me...I took a mental note of that. “So how are you Taeyeon? Your leg...does it hurt?”

I laughed, “Of course it does, but that is why I take pain killers.” I could see Jessica’s face turning red for asking a stupid question, “By the way is Krystal doing well?”

“Yep. Like she said, it was a routine check so nothing to be worried about.”

“She seems like a strong kid.”

“Both my sister and I had to be. We always looked out for each other when things got bad and learned to always be there for each other.”

“I wouldn’t know...I don’t have siblings.”

“It wasn’t always fun,” Jessica giggled, “Many times I wanted to kill her but we couldn’t physically hurt each other because then we have to go to the hospital.”

“Didn’t you say it was hemophilia? That is a dangerous disease.”

“Humm yea. The simple cuts are not the danger but if there is internal bleeding. The bleeding you can’t see until it is too late. That is why Krystal and I go for the monthly hospital visits. Other than getting her shots, Krystal was examined for things like that.”

This topic seemed super depressing, “Too bad you can’t just have a cast like me for a few months, and then be healed.”

Jessica sighed, “That is why Krystal is so strong. Living with a disease like that makes her not afraid of most things in life.”

“You are strong too.”

“Krystal and I have to be.”

Both Jessica and I started to sip our lattes in silent as the mood kind of turned sour, “So um perfume company? Does that mean it always smells nice in your work?”

Jessica snickered, “I don’t work in the factory silly. Just the office. We get free samples but we like to wear our own scent most times.”

I rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment, “Oh I see.”

“So Kim Taeyeon what do you want to do when that cast comes off?”

I looked down at the cast on my leg, “Burn those crutches?”

With that, the conversation we had at that café turned lighter and I was able to see Jessica’s smile almost the whole time we were there. One of the best memories I have to date of my time together with Jessica Jung. Not only then but days after would be just as memorable with her as we started to grow closer.

---------------------------

It had been two weeks since I first met Jessica Jung and you could say that we had grown closer with her now driving me home most days and having regular café meetings. “Taeyeon are you listening?”

I looked up at Sunny who happened to be talking to me, “Yea yea I got it.”

Sunny wasn’t convinced with my answers so she went to sit down next to me, “Taeyeon why do you keep looking at your phone? What is so special that you can’t pay attention to me telling you that you have  another hospital visit during the weekend?”

“Sunny I think I like someone...you know more than friends.”

“Jessica.”

I looked up in surprise, “How did you know?”

“That is her on your phone right?” I nodded my head in response, “No one takes a secret picture of someone they don’t have feelings for.”

I thought about it and that made some sense, “I don’t know what to do...”

“Confess?”

“I don’t think that is a good idea.” I said a little bummed that it might not be a good option to confess my feelings to Jessica. Especially not after what she told me when we first met in Krystal’s hospital room.

“You are strange Tae...if you like her this much, then just do it. Stop battling what is right or wrong when your heart says go after someone.”

I sighed in frustration, “I just am afraid of falling deeper for her if I confess and we date...and then...agh...it feels like God is playing with me right now.”

“Taeyeon you don’t even know what will happen in the future. Why work yourself up about something that isn’t certain. You can see Jessica is waiting for you too.”

“How do you know?”

Sunny pointed at Jessica who happened to enter my office, “Jessica?”

“Am I early?” Jessica looked down at her watch while I looked at the computer to see the time.

“Well your ride is here Tae so I will take my leave. See you later.”

I weakly waved Sunny goodbye while Jessica walked closer to my desk, “Why was Sunny at your office?”

“Her second job is close and she needed to give me a few things. I would have met her but she said not to strain myself and came over here.”

Jessica nodded in response while shifting her eyes over my desk, “I will just pack up and we can go.” It didn’t take long for me to pack up my belongings since today was a Friday and I didn’t have work on the weekends. There was no pressing deadline either so I was free to have a relaxing night and weekend ahead.

As usual, Jessica helped me get down to her car and put my things in before we headed off to my apartment. I was busy thinking about what Sunny told me so the car ride was rather silent and somehow we arrived quickly, “Taeyeon are you okay?”

I looked up and saw we were already at my apartment, “Jessica,” The girl looked into my eyes while I shifted around, “Do you like me?”

Curiosity filled her face, “Of course.”

“I like you too.” I said blushing. I am not sure if she got what kind of like I was referring to but mmm...

Just then Jessica leaned in and kissed me. Her soft lips went to nibble on my own while her perfume flooded my senses to make my eyes close and savor the feeling of floating on air. It wasn’t a long kiss so Jessica backed away like she was surprised of her own actions, “I like you.”

I was a little out of breath for my heart was beating a mile a minute, “Yea...”

Jessica reached for my hand and held it, “Did you umm want to be my...girlfriend?”

I probably looked like an idiot with the grin on my face but this is how my girlfriend Jessica Jung and I started dating....second happiest time of my life. No words could describe how happy I was so I leaned back in and kissed her with all the emotions I had for the girl. She was mine and in that kiss, I could tell I would be her last love.

--------------------------

Wearing a hospital gown again wasn’t what I expected to be wearing 2 months after leaving the hospital the first time, but here I was wearing it once again. The doctor said I was an exception. The x-rays showed that a bolt they put in my leg shifted and they should surgically intervene. Although it shouldn’t add more than a month of having this new cast on my leg, it still meant that I was to be in this hospital again for a few more days.

“Taeyeon stop fidgeting, it isn’t like this is life-threatening.”

I squeezed Jessica’s hand a bit as she looked at me, “Will you be here when I wake up?”

“I am not sure. I will try babe.”

I looked into Jessica’s eyes and noted that although she had a pale complexion today, she was still very beautiful. Yes I fell deep for this girl already. How could I not when she would always come and take me home and go on dates during our time off? And now she was still by my side in the hospital when she also was wearing the same gown as me. She should be in her room resting.

“Ms. Kim it is time.”

I looked at Jessica worried, “You will be here right.”

Jessica just smiled while rubbing the back of my hand, “You will wake up soon and see me so don’t worry.” The love of my life stood up and gave me a peck on the lips, “Be strong Kim Taeyeon.”

Of course the girl was right. I fell asleep and woke up very groggy that I didn’t even register that I was in the hospital fresh out of surgery until I felt the throbbing pain in my leg again. Weakly, I reached over to the call button although it looked to be so far away, but another hand beat me to it, “Do you need the nurse?”

I nodded weakly while the girl my hair, “I pushed the button okay? What is it you need?”

“Hurts...”

The nurse came in fast, “Has Ms. Kim woke?”

The girl got up and explained that I was in pain which quickly went away when a cool liquid entered my veins, “How is your sister doing Ms. Jung?”

“She is well again. Just resting upstairs.”

“That is good. You sisters are always here but I didn’t expect you to be with Ms. Kim.”

“That is because Ms. Kim is very special to my sister...” That was the last I heard from Krystal until I went back into a deep sleep.

I must have slept for several hours before my eyes opened again, “Awake?”

This time I was happy to hear the sweet voice of my girlfriend, “Humm...”

“The doctor came and told me when you woke, that you should try to eat something. I have some pudding for you. Can you eat some?”

Slowly I started to get up and felt a light kiss on my crown, “You are so obedient when heavily medicated.”

I let out a soft laugh as I saw Jessica holding the spoon near my mouth which I opened to let the sweet treat enter my mouth. Normally eating was difficult after going under but when I looked into Jessica’s eyes, my body felt calm. I felt I could do anything with her around. “Can you be a little less cheesy when I am around?”

I didn’t have much strength to laugh when I heard Krystal’s comment, “You can always leave. The door is that way.”

Krystal just rolled her eyes at her sister who was still in the wheelchair and hooked up to an IV. Even in her condition, she was still next to me...I could see now what we had might have been more than love.

---------------------------

Out of the hospital and into a new cast for nearly 3 weeks now. Jessica and I were enjoying the end of summer whist having a picnic. The girl went to feed me some of the pasta salad, “Do you like? My mom taught me how to make all these.”

The food was good...maybe not nearly as well as her mother’s but I could see that Jessica tried really hard to make me a meal before I went back to the hospital to get the cast off. “I will be busy with physical therapy soon.”

Jessica hummed, “I know.”

“Are you still going to drop me off?”

“Depends when I have time. You can call Krystal too.”

“But your sister is busy studying.”

“Yes but she really likes spending time with you.”

“Why does she enjoy someone that has been immobilized in a cast?”

“She says you are funny.”

I smiled when I heard Jessica’s sister complementing me, “What about you? Do you think I am funny?”

Jessica raised her eyebrow before setting down the Tupperware and leaning it closer to me, “I like you in many more ways than Krystal does.” I thought I was going to get rewarded with a kiss but Jessica went to just peck my nose, “because I love you Kim Taeyeon.”

I didn’t want her to escape so I quickly reached up and put my hand around her neck so I could lean in and fully capture her lips, “I love you too.”

-----------------------

Still on crutches I managed to rush through the hospital in lightning speed to my destination. “Unnie!”

I was sweating from the amount of energy I spent trying to get to the ER, “What happened? Why did she come?”

“It isn’t a problem she just needs emergency treatment and more blood. Don’t worry too much unnie.”

“What happened though?” I tried masking the worry in my voice but I could see that I was starting to affect Krystal too.

“She just tripped on the stairs at work and cut her leg open. Jessica was the one that called the ambulance.”

I sighed in relief before sitting in one of the chairs, “I told her to stop wearing those high heels at work.”

Krystal laughed before joining me in the waiting room seats, “When does she ever listen unless heavily medicated?”

“She tells me the same thing.” Somehow a lighthearted conversation blossomed when Krystal and I were filled with worry and concern.

The doctor came out with Jessica in a wheelchair, “How is she?”

Jessica looked much paler than before so the doctor talked on her behalf, “We will keep her overnight for observation but nothing serious. She called before there was too much blood loss.”

I went over to Jessica and cupped her face, “You should be more careful and start wearing flats okay babe?” I could see the tears in Jessica’s eyes as she didn’t like making me worry. There was nothing else I could do but give her a kiss on the crown hoping that would calm her down.

--------------------------

Thankfully, it has been one year since I first experienced a scare concerning Jessica’s condition. Of course the two of us were strong together although my physical therapy finished and no longer had to rely on her to give me rides home or to the hospital. I was also getting used to the trips to the hospital when Krystal or Jessica had to go in for treatments.  Even a small paper cut would cause me to get alarmed at Jessica’s condition although she assured me that there is nothing to be concerned about.

“Awake?”

Jessica rolled over to face me in the bed, “Humm.” I her hair lightly, “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

Jessica adjusted herself so she could pull me closer, “My head hurts a bit.”

I continued to her hair which usually helped with her headaches, “Should we take you in? It could be related?”

Jessica shook her head before snuggling into my chest, “Everyone gets headaches. Work is stressful that is all.”

I held Jessica tighter in my embrace, “Should we take some time off together?”

“I don’t think you can with all the sick days you had when you hurt your leg.”

I sighed wanting to forget about my time in the cast although I can’t really hate that cast since it brought this girl into my arms, “Maybe I can beg for an extra day off? What do you think about a short 3 day vacation?”

I saw Jessica’s eyes open to look into mine, “I want that.”

Smiling I leaned in to kiss her lips, “Then we will go.”

-----------------------

A few weeks passed until Jessica and I could get that extra day off of work together. We had an extended weekend to go to Busan since Jessica liked the shopping and beaches while I wanted to visit the historical sights. We decided on the train over so Jessica was already fast asleep in my arms. During this visit, I decided to put my best effort into protecting her. Since the day I decided to tell her my feelings, I made a vow to not let her get hurt on my watch.

The girl in my arms shifted and rubbed her eyes, “Not there yet?”

I looked up at the next stop, “Maybe a few more and we will be. You can rest if you are still tired.”

Although Jessica resumed putting her head on my shoulder she stayed awake playing with my fingers the rest of the train ride. Our hotel was far from the train station so we took a taxi over since crowded public transportation could cause an accident. I must say it was nice to share three days with the girl that stole my heart, but I felt there was a looming burden to being in love...the same burden that made me question of whether I should fall deeply for this girl or not.

“We should go shopping!”

I smiled knowing that would be the first stop the girl wanted to go on, “Where?”

“Mall?”

I looked at the time and it was getting kind of late, “How about tomorrow since it is getting late and we haven’t had dinner yet?”

Jessica looked over at the clock too, “Where did you want to go then?”

I went to hold Jessica’s waist before looking into her eyes lovingly, “Why don’t we go to the pier. You can do some shopping there too.”

Jessica smiled as she put her arms around my neck, “Good thinking love.” We didn’t need words to know that both of us were dying to have that kiss. It was very heated and could turn into something more intense if not stopped, so one of our stomach’s growled making us stop.

I had Jessica’s hand in mine while we walked around the shore area. Most of the places to eat looked amazing but walking hand in hand distracted us from finding a place to actually sit and eat. “It is nice here.”

I looked at the sun that was setting while we stood on the pier, “Maybe we should move here in the future?”

Jessica leaned closer and hugged my arm, “A life together forever for you anywhere would be nice.”

I smiled thinking that was also a great idea.

---------------------------

“So what happened in Busan?”

Jessica and I were on the couch next to each other while Krystal sat cross-legged across from us, “It was good. Did you know Jessica brought an extra suitcase because she knew she would stop at every mall?”

Krystal started laughing, “I am sure unnie also made you a slave to carry her bags and then her luggage back right?”

I rubbed my sore arms, “I mean...it wasn’t that bad having to do that for her.”

Jessica smiled and kissed my cheek, “Taeyeon took me to some temples too so we could pray. I got you a charm too.” Jessica handed over the charm to Krystal who just thanked us for the gift. Of course that wasn’t the only gift given but to me and Jessica, that was the most important gift we could give her.

“Please don’t tell me the intimate details!!!”

Jessica was laughing and I was beat red from what Jessica was sharing, “But it was so funny! I didn’t know Taeyeon could fail so miserably at being romantic.”

Krystal was covering her ears while I wanted to dig myself in a whole, “You make it sound worse than what actually happened.”

“Well you two had a good time so I will take my leave. Taeyeon unnie please take care of her for me and maybe don’t try anything that strains yourself too much.”

I slumped back in the couch hoping I would disappear while Jessica just patted my cheek, “You are so over dramatic Kim Taeyeon.”

Eventually I got over myself and bid Krystal farewell with Jessica before the two of us returned to the couch. Jessica got up to go to the bathroom before joining me again while I was watching a TV show, “Can you turn it down a bit?”

Jessica already put her head on my lap so I could her hair again, “Headache?” I could feel her nodding on my lap, “Can we just go and make sure nothing is wrong this week? You slept a lot on our trip too.”

“Not sleep, I was cuddling with you and not have to leave without spending most of the days in your arms.”

That was one of the sweetest things I have ever heard from her but that still didn’t make me less concerned about these headaches she had, “Please. For me.” I waited for an answer but nothing came so I looked down at Jessica but my blood ran cold when I saw blood coming out of her nose. Immediately I called the ambulance and then called Krystal whilst tears ran down my face.

------------------------

Krystal looked over at Jessica before returning her gaze to me, “I just came for normal treatments. I have a bleeding disorder. Jessica and I come here maybe every month for a few days to get treatment. You could say this is our way of sisterly bonding since I go to university and Jessica works a full-time job. Kind of weird to bond in a hospital but being here for a few days lets us catch up plus driving after treatment is difficult.” I nodded trying to understand their situation, “But Jessica has it worse. She has more episodes of internal bleeding and has to be watched carefully. Although I am constantly worried Jessica will have an unexpected episode of internal bleeding, we have gotten this far together. We will be fine in the future too I believe.”

It was my first time meeting someone with such a severe disorder like that but it didn’t seem to affect Krystal’s esteem and it looked like the two sisters were used to the routine, “I see. But you are fine?”

“I am sorry Ms. Kim and Ms. Jung, but I have to tell you that the headaches she was having recently were due to swelling in her brain from a blood vessel leaking...then with her condition, the leak never repaired itself causing too much pressure with the blood accumulating.”

Krystal and I were holding each other not sure of what to take from this news, “What does that mean?”

“Well...with not enough blood in the brain...I am sorry to say that she is brain dead.”

That is when my life shattered. I went to the edge and dared to love someone that could make me fall into love and despair with a push in one direction. I fell both ways and discovered that daring to love was something people have to do to find out that love gives you so much more.

~END~