So here is my chapter for "Spectrum". My character is Nam Moo Shin, 19.

SPECTRUM - member NAM MOO SHIN

Shin had spent the last couple of months non-stop with his fellow trainees and felt relieved when they got a day off to go home. Shin has not been home for quite a long time now, just like the other boys. His family lived in Seoul just like some of the others', so the drive home did not take long. Even though it seemed so easy to visit them, the schedules and the extra practicing hours had kept him busy. Usually there was no one at home anyway, because his mom was kind of a workaholic and his brother was busy like an idol with training and school.

When Shin arrived and stood in front of the appartment building, his hands in his jeans' pockets, he already missed the other boys. He wondered how they were doing and if they were okay. ~ If the shy Ha Joon was letting himself go at home. He really wished to see one day what was behind his distant appearance, because he really seemed like a boy with upright values. ~ If Chris was happy to see his baby brother again and if he got enough to eat. He had an ridiculously big appetite even though he was so skinny. Such a lucky bas-. ~ Oh, and if Minki's parents were still against their son's dream of becoming a singer. Money does not buy you happiness, and Shin knew that Minki would be happy if his parents were not only "accepting" the road he chose, but also support him. ~ Younghun was probably doing fine. His hyung was strong. Shin was happy to have him around. Despite the rigorous competition, what a big strength to him was same-aged Jhun. He was able to tell him openly about most of his troubles. He might be a good friend and in meeting him, Shin thought he changed, too. The same-aged trainees became the two dependable eldest of the final group of the ten trainees. ~ And then Minseok and Sora. Those two were hilarious. Exhausting but hilarious really. Just like Shin's dongsaeng. What would it be like to not have them around all day? Or at all? ... Quiet. Shin's younger brother was not as loud as they were. And he did not mean that much trouble as well. ~ Also he wondered who would wake up Minhyun and Woo Jung now that they were at home. Jhun was not there to "Yah! Wake up!" them so they would not sleep in. ~ 
But mostly he thought of his magnae, who was even younger than his own dongsaeng. He really wondered how he was doing at home. Without his hyung. Shin had to smile. Jay was a good kid.

Shin opened the door to his family's apartment. No one was there as usual. He put his bag on the floor and walked into the living room. The room was the biggest of the whole appartment. And there it was. His father's piano. Shin remembered the time he was not capable of playing it, because it hurt him too much to think about his father. But this has been a while now. Shin came closer and the plain surface. He sat down and slowly began to hit the piano keys. Then suddenly he started to play a song that his father, the former music professort taught him when he was little. He remebered it well. He knew it by heart. He could feel his father's aura surrounding him, playing this song. He closed his eyes and remembered how his father took his small hands in his own and guided them. Shin got goosebumps just by those memories. When he finally played the last note, he opend his eyes that were a little watery, not sure if it was because of the sad melody or the memories of him. Shin turned his head to the side as he noticed someone's presence.

"I'm sorry, hyung. I didn't want to interrupt you that's why I stayed quiet." Shin stood up and walked over to the person and embraced him.

"Minho-ah. It's so good to see you, dongsaeng." He hugged him even tighter when he felt Minho putting his arms around him. When he released the younger again, he looked at him closely. "Have you grown again or are you wearing insoles?"

His brother smiled and asked, "Wasn't it the song dad used to play when he was remembering his friend? It's pretty sad, don't you think? Are you sad about something, hyung?"

Shin shoke his head. "No." The answer did not really satisfy Minho, but he did not get a chance to ask further questions, because his hyung already started to speak again. "How was training? I hope you've improved."

Minho looked down to the floor and answered, "I'm still the youngest. They are all stronger and faster than me, because their legs are longer than mine. But I'm getting better though. I've even bested a senior last week."

Shin gave his dongsaeng a high five.

"Match tomorrow?", he asked.

"No, I have the whole day to spend with you, hyung. And our guest." Minho smiled, his eyes narrowed to slits.

"Guest?", Shin asked suspiciously. "What do you mean~"

Right at that moment, the door bell rang. 

"Oh, speaking of the devil...."

When Minho hurried to open the appartment door, Shin was surprised to find out the guest's identity.

"Lee Howon. You didn't tell me you would come over." He hugged his best friend, happy to see him again and told him to come in. "Minho, you know about that? Did you two plot this secretly? Why did you keep it from me?", Shin asked his brother who had a broad smile on his face.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I did."

Hoya interposed, "He called me and told me you were coming home for today and asked me to come around. How could I say no to our little munchkin?"

He rubbed Minho's head, who tried to free himself from the elders grip. Shin turned to the the male who was older but slightly shorter than him, but just as muscular.

"Where are you headed, hyung? You look like you'd go on a camping trip or something." Shin pointed at the backpack on Hoya's soulders.

"Actually, we are going on a trip, chingu." Hoya winked at Minho who left the room to return with two backpacks as well, one of them obviously for Shin. "We'll go hiking." 

~

"Seventy-two. By flying in a V-formation." Hoya and Shin looked at the younger not understanding, before the latter began to explain. "A flock of geese adds 72 % more flying range than if each bird flew alone." The three of them continued to climb the mountain. "Something about uplift."

Hoya had to laugh about how excited Minho was about their trip. They had not been together, the three of them, for quite some time and it felt like going back in the day. Since Shin was a trainee, he did not come home a lot and Hoya was one busy idol. Even if they had days off, Shin would practice and stay at the dorm, so would Hoya. Even though Shin missed his brother and his mom, he was still a trainee and the decision who would be in the band was close. So he could not allow himself to become rash to think that his talents and experiences where enough to get him through this "survival game".

Minho, even though he was out of breath due to the fast pace, managed to go on talking, "Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing."

Hoya frowned wonderingly while he touched his ear to check its size. Shin shook his head, amused at his brother's chatty mood.

"202", Minho said soberly.

"The number of useless facts in your little head?", Shin said jokingly, almost unable to cope with the endless number of facts his brother had recited for the last hour.

"Miles from Seoul to Busan." Minho stopped walking and the two elder could see that he had put on a serious look. His voice was sober. "Do you hate me, hyung?"

"Because of the move?", Shin asked worriedly. "No, I don't. Minho, I don't hate you. Why should I? No, how could I?", Shin came up to him and patted his back carefully.

"I am the reason we had to leave Busan. If I had not gotten the scholarship, we would not have left home and you... you might have stayed home. Not become a trainee and stayed at home instead. With me and mom." Minho was sad about what he had said, but it was just how he felt. Shin put his arms around his younger brother and hugged him tenderly. That was when Minho could not hold back any longer and started to cry in his hyung's arms. Minho was only 15 years old. He was so strong and fragile at the same time. Shin's heart sunk to see his brother like this. When times were rough, Minho was the one who made his life livable. He knew he should have been the one to take care of the younger, but quite the reverse was true. Minho was the one who held the family together and who gave Shin all this energy and trust in himself.

The usually cool Hoya now watched them with tearful eyes. When Shin and him were 16 years old, Shin moved to Seoul with his mother and Minho to support Minho's badminton career. He was sad to let his best friend, whom he had knows since childhood go. But Hoya believed that it was to Shin's favor. His old home reminded Shin too much of what had happened. Two years after the accident, Shin was still bipolar and his mood got him in to much trouble. It was the best for him to start again. And Seoul had more possibilities to promote his musical talents as well. So moving there was probably the best.

Shin released Minho, his arms now resting on the latter's shoulders. "Hey, you better make it to Olympic Games." Shin tried to cheer him.

"Make it? I'll win." Success. Minho snuffled and smiled again. "Okay, let's go then. Hurry up, old men. Or we won't make it till dusk." Minho started to run up the mountain.

"Be careful, Nam Minho." Hoya cat-called at him before the two elder followed.

After something over an hour they reached the top of Cheonggye mountain. The scenery looking down from the top was nice. Cheonggye mountain was probably the most hiked mountain in all of South Korea. The reason for this had got to be the location and the easiness of reaching the top. It was also a relaxing stroll up the mountain and the weather was quite fine, too, so they enjoyed the trip.

On top of the mountain, they decided to eat their snacks, Minho and Hoya had packed for the trip. "Mmppfff, ann whuat do you think? Will you claim youa plash in the band soon?", Minho tried to speak with his mouth full.

Hoya looked at Shin with curious eyes, chewing with his mouth agape.

"I dunno. My chances are not that bad, I guess."

Hoya frowned. "Not that bad? Why so humble, man? Should I go and tell them Lee Howon recommends to pick Nam Moo Shin as a member. Moo Shin, charismatic co-writer for Infinite H songs, athletic B-boy, cool rapper, keen heartthrob and melancholy composer and TOP Media trainee since two-oh-ten." Hoya's wording made Shin chuckle. It was his way of supporting him morally. "No, seriously, you should believe in yourself more. You are one of the final 10 trainees. That's awesome. You are even good enough to become a member. You just gotta go on and give your best and even more. Don't you ever give up. At least, I believe in you."

"ME TOOOO!" Minho yelled and raised his fist. "Shin-hyung hwaiting!" He saluted.

"Shin-hyung hwaiting!", Hoya joined in with the same exciting and cute tone as Minho. Shin smiled at them and nodded. He felt satisfied for the first time in awhile. He really hoped he would reach his goal.

"But you better work on your singing, hyung. Not that I mind you know. But you're not looking like Kim Him Chan to make up you're lacking in vocals. At least you got muscles to show off."

Shin raised his eyebrows. "What did you say? How are you talking to your hyung, huh?"

Shin ran after his brother playfully who ran away screaming for help and laughed while Shin was trying to catch him. Hoya was a little embarrassed by his friends running around like this and so he said sarcastically, "Be careful you two that you don't fall off. I don't want to pick your dead bodies up off the valley."

Shin Minho, "Mom would miss us."

"She'd miss me.", Minho demured.

Shin still chasing his brother. "Yeah, that's really funny."

"Mae-rong!!!", Minho stuck his tongue out and laughed and screamed - and Hoya was still embarrassed.

~

When they returned home, they droped their backpacks and let themselves fall on the couch. Tired and exhausted.

"We went hiking for four hours today and my already became firmer. I'm gonna go more often from now on", Hoya said while he stretched himself.

"Okay, when you have finished with talking about your , help me cleaning the shoes off. They got pretty muddy on our hike." Shin stood up with Hoya following him.

When they were done with cleaning the shoes, they went back into the living room just to find Minho sleeping on the couch. Shin walked over and put a blanket over his dongsaeng, carefully his head. He turned off the television and left the room with Hoya.

"Let's get some fresh air", Hoya pointed to the door with a little nod.

"Fresh air? Haven't we got enough today?", Shin joked. He understood and followed his friend outside.

"You know, earlier, I didn't ask because of Minho.... but... what.... hmmm...how much do the others know about you? ... Your past, the accident, ... your dad?", Hoya looked down to the ground, his hands in his pockets.

"There was this trip where everyone had to speak about his past and his family background. Andy-sunbaenim said we didn't truly know each other. So everyone told something he might not want to tell at all."

Hoya looked up again. "You too?"

"Everyone, Hoya. Everyone."

Both were quite for a couple of very long seconds until Hoya dared speaking again, "So. What did you tell?"

Shin took a deep breath. "That there was a point in my life I quit music. That I got into a fist fight during a soccer match. That I had to transfer school and moved to Seoul."

Hoya recognized that his friend had to bring oneself to say that. "That's...it?"

Shin frowned. "What do you mean with "that's it"? What would you have said if you were me?"

His voice raised and Hoya felt his friend's mood changing from down to upset.

"I don't know. But that made it sound like your a ... thug. And that you have a bad temper. That you are not the person you truly are. It would have been better to tell them about the whole thing." Hoya put his hand on Shin's shoulder to calm him.

"Oh, I see! What should I have told instead? Should I rather have told them the reason of the fight? That there was I time I was some "thug" just like you said? That the reason was my dead father? Or that I am to blame for my his death? That I was not able to stop him from drunk driving that night?" Shin felt like his heart would explode.

His father was not a bad person. The reason his father drove drunk that night was that he had lost his best friend and then started to drink because of the loss of his job, his soccer trainer position, and the depression. In front of his wife and his sons he always pretended to be calm and smiled. He always pretended to be strong in front of Shin. He did not know about the severity back then, because he was too young and never had to deal with death before. Today Shin knew his father must have been lonelier than anyone else, but he did not approach him. Now he knew. But it was too late.

"That I sat next to him in the car instead, afraid to dare stopping him? That I survived the car accident while he did not? Me the dammit coward? Is that what would have been the story to tell that moment? Huh? Tell me!" He armed Hoya's hand off his shoulder and pointed his finger at him admonishingly . "Don't think you'd know what is "better" for me. That whole story is none of their and none of your business."

Hoya felt hurt and started to almost yell at Shin now, "Goddammit, Shin. Why are you acting like an idiot? Maybe those guys would be able to help you. Stop blaming yourself for what happened already. Your father died  in an accident and it was not your fault, Shin. Start talking about it. If you won't, you will never be able to get over it, and if I try to help you, you should not act like you would not care because you do." Silence again. "Look, Shin. I am worried about you, you are still not over it. You could need someone to talk about it. If your in a band, you gotta help each other because there will be times where it's just you." Hoya's voice became softer. He could see Shin's invisible tears. He did not cry over his scarred heart with the painful wounds. "Isn't there one among them you could entrust to sometime? Someone you feel like you could open up to?" Shin thought about Hoya's question. He opened looked up at already starry sky. Closing his eyes after he watched a shooting star twinkling in the night time sky.

He sighed opening his eyes again. "I don't know."

He faced Hoya again no sign of their dispute left on his tired face, "Maybe. Maybe there is."