Top’s POV

Sica-ah, I miss you so much…

Why did you distance yourself from me? I know you need time to think about me and Jiyong, but this is totally killing me..

I feel something is not right. I feel you will choose Jiyong.

Do you love him? Girls always prefer G-Dragon compared to me..Am I losing to Jiyong again?..

I don’t mind lose everything to Jiyong, but not you. I can’t lose you.. I really can’t..

I don’t think I can survive if I lose you, Sica…You are my everything.

My feeling for you is too strong and deep.. I love you so much…

But, if you love Jiyong, I will accept it even though it will kills me..

I just want your happiness. If Jiyong is your happiness, I will let you be with him..

I only care for your happiness..

But, I really hope that you love me too, like I love you…

Please, Sica-ah, my Princess...

i love you, i really do...

GD’s POV

Sica, I love you so much..

I thought I will never experience love again but I’m wronged.

I fall in love again, with you…

I once closed my heart to any girl but you make me opens up my heart again..

You are the lights in my dark love’s life.. You shine me with your pure heart and love..

You are really special for me, Sica…More special than her..

Because of you, I’m back as the old Kwon Jiyong..

I feel love, again.. I longs for you, Sica.. For your love…

I pray hard that you love me too.. I cannot lose you, not again..

I already lost my love once, I don’t want that to happen again..

If it happened, I don’t think I can survive…

Please love me too, Sica-ah…………….

i love you so much...

Jessica’s POV

I miss you so much, Tabbie oppa…

I do love you, so much….

But, I don’t think I can tell you that..I don’t think we can be together…

It’s because I couldn’t hurt Jiyong oppa.. I just can’t….

And I couldn’t hurt you too, oppa…

Ottoke? Ottoke? What should I do now?

Oppa, if I choose Jiyong oppa, will you forgive me?

I don’t want you to hate me…

I really want to be with you but I’m stuck between you and Jiyong oppa.

I care about Jiyong oppa a lot, that’s why I can’t hurt him..

Jiyong oppa has been through a lot..

I’m afraid if I hurt him and he’s heartbroken again, he will shattered into pieces..

I don’t want to brush off a piece of love that is still exist in his heart…

I don’t want to crush him, completely crush him…

Top oppa, will you forgive me if I do that?

But, I don’t think I can do that either because I couldn’t hurt you..

I love you so much and hurting you is the last thing that I intend to do..

What should I do, oppa-ah?

Why love is so complicated?

Why Jiyong oppa falls in love with me?

Why me?

Why? Why? Why?

At SNSD’s dorm

‘Jess,’ Tiffany said softly to the depressed Jessica.

‘Erm?’

‘You are thinking about them?’ Tiffany asked kindly.

Jessica just nodded while hugging her pillow.

‘What are you going to do?’ Tiffany asked.

‘Fany-ah, will Top oppa forgive me if i…’

‘If you choose to be with Jiyong oppa because you couldn’t hurt him?’ Tiffany finished Jessica’s lines.

‘I.. I just..’

‘You want to sacrifice your love for Jiyong oppa?’ Tiffany asked.

‘Fany, you know his past,’ Jessica told.

‘I know but it’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself for something obviously is not your fault,’ Tiffany told her sternly.

‘But he told me that I’m the reason he changed,’ Jessica said quietly.

‘So what? Because of that you want to sacrifice your love, your happiness?’ Tiffany asked.

‘…..’

‘You couldn’t hurt Jiyong oppa but you could and want to hurt Top oppa?’ Tiffany asked again.

‘No! Hurting Top oppa is the last thing that I intend to do,’ she told.

‘But, you are acting like that. Have you ever thought about Top oppa feeling if you choose Jiyong oppa?’

‘I know he will be sad and heartbroken but he is a strong guy. I’m sure that he can survive whereas Jiyong oppa, I don’t know if he can,’ Jessica said sadly.

‘It’s because Youngbae oppa told you that,’ Tiffany told.

‘Fany-ah…’

‘Sica, I’m not blaming Youngbae oppa but I think he is selfish. Jiyong oppa is his best friend, that’s why he wants you to choose Jiyong oppa. He is unfair to Top oppa. Besides, how did you know that Top oppa will survive if he lost you?’ Tiffay asked.

Jessica couldn’t say anything and just gazing down on her bed.

‘Have you ever thought about Top oppa?’ Tiffany asked.

‘I did, all the times. You don’t know how much I love him, Fany-ah. I really2 love him, so much. But this situation is killing me. I couldn’t hurt any of them because I feel responsible for everything happened now,’ Jessica said with teary eyes.

‘Jess, I know this is hard. But, you need to think wisely. Please don’t try to be a selfless girl and sacrifice your own love, please don’t,’ Tiffany told her.

‘How can I do that? I just can’t pretend like Jiyong oppa doesn’t exist, I need to consider his feeling too,’ Jessica said, finally tears are rolling down her cheeks.

‘I know, Jessie,’ Tiffany said while hugging and shushing her.

‘What should I do? I really want to be with Top oppa, I do,’ Jessica sobbed in Tiffany’s arms.

‘Then, you must be a little selfish and don’t blame yourself for everything happened to Jiyong oppa. Don’t feel that you are responsible for everything about him,’ Tiffany coaxed her.

‘But…’

‘shusshh, it’s okay, Jessie. Don’t push yourself too hard. Take a rest, thinks deeply and listen to your heart. Trust me, you will get the answer,’ Tiffany is still coaxing her.

‘Listen to my heart?’ she asked while sobbing.

‘Yeah, listen to your heart,’ Tiffany said.

‘My heart only said one thing, Top oppa,’ she sobbed again.

‘Then, that’s the answer for you,’ Tiffany told softly.

‘But, I tend to listen to my mind too, my mind tell me to consider about Jiyong oppa too,’ she said quietly.

Tiffany sighed while still hugging her best friend.

‘Just take a rest. You are tired,’ Tiffany told.

Jessica just nodded and broke their hugs.

She lies down on her bed and looks at Tiffany.

‘Thanks Fany-ah, for always be there for me,’ she told.

‘We are bff, right? Of course I will always with you,’ Tiffany said kindly with her eye-smiles.

Jessica closed her eyes to get some sleep and rest. Tiffany walks out of the room, to let her sleep and rest.

sorry for late n short updates again..

it's just i'm busy and tired nowadays..

my uncle just lost one of his twins baby girls..poor him..it's so sad...

especially seeing my auntie..she always dozing off and gloomy..

their twins were born premature, they are just 7 months old..

my auntie gave birth my operation, so she is still in hospital right now..'

n the baby, she is still in incubator, she is sooooo small...

and because of that, i need to babysit their 2 years old son, my cousin..

i don't mind babysitting him coz he is my baby boy n the cutest kid in the world..

but, i'm indeed tired..huhu

thanks for ur comments..

please keep on rooting for me..

i will try to update soon despite my busy life n my tiredness...huhu

thanks so much!.love ya!