Break up...

about 5 years ago:

It was on a snowy evening. Kai and me were fighting once again.

"Jongin-ah please stop now!" I yelled, running into the kitchen to continue some work. He followed me.
"Please listen to me" he said  
"No I won't. You always say the same stuff"
"I don't trust you and Chanyeol" he yelled.
I turned around, he was standing next to the fridge.
"What should happen?"
"100 things!"
"Aha, please tell me one thing"

"He could kiss you"
"But if I don't want to?!"
"Oh yes don't lie, I know you want that!" he yelled.
"No I don't want that!" I yelled back.
"tss" he crossed his arms.

"Everybody can see how you look at Chanyeol"
"Oh how do I look?" I asked.
"You're seducing him on stage!"
"I do what?!" I yelled
"Of course I can see that!"
"You're so...ahhhhh"

I ran back into the living room, tried to avoid him. I didn't wanted to see him anymore this evening, but then...

"I break up"
I turned around on the sofa and looked at him.
"You..do what?" I asked again, acted like I misunderstood his sentance.
"You heard me, I break up"
I stood up and walked some steps up to him. My eyes fully widen.

"That's a joke, right?
He shook his head. He looked serious.
"You can't do that Jongin, no you can't do that to me!" I said, short before to cry.
"I can't live like that anymore" he said.
"But..but I can't live without you..." I said and started to cry. I expected him to hug me, kiss my forehead and say that he can't live without me as well...

"And I can't live with Chanyeol on your side."
"But Jongin...the sub-stages will be over soon...you have to be patient"
"I can't..."
He turned around, about to leave. I ran after him, dragged on his wrist.

"Don't leave..please!" I yelled
He was silent. 
On the doorframe he stopped, turned around and looked into my crying face.

"It's over" he said and walked the stairs down.
I watched him leaving, leaving me alone in our own apartment. 

Some days later.

No matter how bad I felt in that time, I had to perform. And everybody could see how many mistakes I suddenly made, how many times I forgot my lyrics and how many times fans saw my crying backstage or on the way to random music shows. Chanyeol worried a lot about me, he was willing to stop performing and take a break, of course he knew of the situation, he was one of the first I told of the break-up.
We went on a hiatus, SM explained because of an injury. Of course SM didn't knew of it back then. SM thought I'm homesick or something like that, or just really tired and stressed with everything.

Luhan, Tao, Chanyeol, D.O, Baekhyun and Suho tried to cheer me up, but somehow failed in that. Luhan sang songs, which made me cry even more. Tao tried it with funny stories and drama evenings, but dramas reminded me of me and Kai's relationships and I cried again. Chanyeol went shopping with me , but that remined me of all the dates I had with Kai in the malls. Baekhyun and Suho tried it with dance practices and other excercise. At first it helped but then dancing...Kai's passion....

Lastly D.O. He thaught me in cooking and that somehow...really helped me a lot. We had much fun and the other members had something to eat.
To this time we all had a different dorm system. I used to live with Kai in an own little apartment, but after he dumped me, I moved back into the old dorm. At first I was alone, until the others decided to move back as well. Living all together is much more fun.

The room system was new and not really all members moved back. Kris, Xiumin, Chen, Lay and Tao mainly lived in china's capital Beijing. Luhan moved together with his girlfriend, the vocal teacher, if you guys remember that. Kai used to live alone in the apartment.
Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Suho, D.O and Sehun were the ones who moved back to me.

Everybody now had their own rooms. The dorm was suddenly bigger...or felt bigger.

After living for another 1 1/2 year together, we 6 became even closer than before. Until that one evening...it changed everything.

I was alone in the kitchen and prepared the dinner for us. The boys were sitting in the living room.

"Do you need help?" D.O said as he entered the kitchen
"No, thanks" I said and smiled.
He walked up to me and somehow back hugged me? Is it called like that? Let me explain it. He was behind me, took my arm and helped me to cut the carrot.

"You have to cut it like that. It's easier" he whispered. I blushed
"T-thank you"
"You're welcome.." he whispered again as he slowly let off me. 

~Back to today~

The last check-up. Fix the dress, breath in and breath out. 
"Everything will be alright.." I whisper as I'm standing in front of the big mirror, holding my flowers in my hands. My look goes down to my belly.
"Today we have to tell it to him..." I whisper once again "Do you think he will be happy?"
No answer. What to expect?

"Yes he will be" suddenly somebody says. I turn around in shock.
"Kai?"
"Oh sorry I didn't wanted to scare you" he says
"No no it's alright"
"You look amazing, he will be happy for sure" he says and walks up to me. I turn back to the mirror and Kai places one hand on my shoulder. He slightly squeezes it.

"Don't worry, everything will be alright. Between with who you talked?"
"Kai" I start "I'm pregnant"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Do-doong it's been a while I know, but I was ill so my brain was like: blur....
Also school and important exams and stuff and ahhhhh...I even went to the opera last thursday...and fell asleep...awkward..

Anyways here's the update, I'm awaiting TONS OF COMMENTS NOW! So hush hush...COMMENT!

PS: The groom....