He couldn't sleep that night. Knowing that the test results would be out, and the truth about the father of his child would be out...nothing would allow him to sleep. He bowed his head, the thoughts of Yunho...and the worry he felt about his own child. He was scared to know of the results. Right now he wanted and was forced to believe that Yunho was the child's father. What if it wasn't true?

He felt tears fall as he thought about living the rest of his life, knowing that his child was someone else's. Knowing that Yunho could never be the father.

He stood up, deciding he couldn't already assume that Yunho wasn't the father. He would have to deal with the news whenever it came. He rubbed his stomach, knowing his child must be hungry already. He smiled for a change, knowing that there was someone who depended on him. There was someone who needed him just as much as he needed the child.

He had rented out an apartment for a week, thankfully to have his own privacy while he waited for test results. He had a lot to think about and a lot of decisions to make. He liked cooking for himself too, keeping himself busy with cleaning and working. It was a way to keep his mind off of all the painful memories. Even with music blasting and the smell of home cooked food could distract him for a few minutes.

He was sure he was going insane. He couldn't sleep, he didn't want to eat. He'd rather stop everything when he knew that there was nothing he could. There was no way to protect the man he loved or the baby he now carried. There was no way to find them. If Jaejoong wanted to be lost, he knew how to be. If he wanted to hide, then he could do it.

He glanced across the room at the manager who had helped Jaejoong before. It took a few minutes, but the manager finally met his eyes. He stood up from the couch he was sitting in.

"I can't stand this anymore. You have to know where he is. Just tell me." Yunho's voice was rough with torture and anger. The manager sighed, bowing his head.

"I've told you already, Yunho. I have no idea where he is."

"STOP LYING!"

He erupted, after holding it in for far too long. He couldn't withstand all this time, knowing that their were others who were suffering. He was still young, and he knew he should have never made those promises if he couldn't keep them. He knew what he had done to the both of them, and yet Jaejoong was the one suffering the most.

"Yunho!" Changmin stood in between him and the manager, holding him back. "You're tired and frustrated. Don't make this harder."

Yunho pushed Changmin away, but sat down again. He needed to calm himself. He knew he was making crazy accusations, but he had no other choice. He had no other options.

"I...I miss him too, hyung." Junsu sobbed, sitting beside him and placing his face against his toned arms.

Shaking was definitely not a good sign. He couldn't do it. He couldn't open it. He couldn't reveal the secrets kept within the envelope. He was scared. Although he knew he would never harm the baby inside him, he never wanted to hurt anyone that he loved. If this baby wasn't Yunho's...wouldn't that hurt him. Wouldn't that make him angry?

He shook his head, walking blindly into a cafe which was just down the street from the hospital. He sat in a chair, ignoring everyone around him as he made sure the mask was securely around his face. He stared at the pale colored envelope the envelope had given him.

"Ah! It's Yunho. He is so masculine now!"

"He's so handsome!"

He was distracted, hearing customers of the cafe say this and that about Yunho. He glanced towards two younger women who had their attention focused on a TV. Jaejoong watched, taking only a second to realize that Dong Bang Shin Ki was performing. He had been so proud of them during their concert, he had been disappointed when he hadn't gotten to see all of it.

He had only been focused on Yunho that day, but now that he could see all of them, it seemed strange. It seemed like all of them had changed. The dark circles, and the tiredness. It seemed clear as day. Yunho had changed the most though. He didn't smile. His eyes didn't shine. It was like a nightmare. Jaejoong shook his head. He never wanted to see them exhausted or see them like this. He wondered if everyone could only see their masculine side, instead of the tiredness...or maybe he just knew them too well.

He quickly left the cafe, not wanting to be recognized. He walked in random directions, not realizing where he was going until he stood in front of the old apartment. The one he shared alone with Yunho. He touched the door, remembering as if it was yesterday. He quickly backed away, bowing when two people passed him. They gave him strange looks, forcing him to leave quickly.

He held the envelope close to him, moving onto the next place. He couldn't resist going to the apartment that he had shared with all of them. Those days that he had loved, and yet had been so brutal too. He smiled, approaching the entrance.

"Excuse me, but you can't go in there. Are you here to meet someone?" The security guard blocked his way. He forgot that there was a 24/7 security guard that stayed at the entrance.

He bowed, hoping he wasn't too recognizable once again. No one seemed to notice him though.

"Dong Bang Shin Ki...do they still live here?"

The man gave him a strange look.

"I can't give out that information. Please leave."

He nodded, leaving once again just as he had come. The next place for him to visit was the studio. He stayed far from the entrance, only looking at the tall building. He couldn't risk getting so close. At a distance, he observed the building, but it seemed very quite except for a few fans who stayed outside to hopefully catch a glimpse of a star or two.

He left there as well, deciding that it was time for him to go home. It was time for him to reveal the truth. There was one more place that he had to pass by though. He stared in the restaurant. Halmoni was no where in sight, but the restaurant seemed busy. He smiled, remembering the halmoni who had helped him so much. If only there was something he could do. If there was a way to thank her for her kindness.

"Jaejoong? Kim Jaejoong?"

He turned, surprised to hear his own name. No one had recognized him this far.

As soon as he turned, he could feel something hit him which forced him to the ground. He could feel the burn of the scrapes on his hands, but he made sure the manila envelope stayed firmly under his hand.

"Who do you think you are? To come here, after avoiding him for so long? Don't you know how he has suffered."

Jaejoong looked up, wincing at the pain in his hands. He gasped, realizing who had greeted him in such a cold manner.

"Mrs. Jung." He bowed his head, not daring to open his eyes up again to her.

"How could you! He used so much effort to love and to protect you, but you can just leave?"

There was desperation in her voice. He shook his head. He hadn't meant to hurt anyone by leaving, it had been his only choice.

"Jaejoong? Oh, Jaejoong-ah, where have you been?"

He looked up again, as soon as he felt arms around him. He recognized the halmoni instantly. Tears stained his cheeks, remembering her kindness once again.

"Are you ok? Your hands are bleeding. Stand up, hurry and come in!"

Halmoni helped him up, but he made sure to grab the folder before he did. He didn't make it one step inside when he bent over.

"Halmoni..."

"Jaejoongie, no...what's wrong?"

He let out a painful sigh, shaking his head.

"Joongie!"