Yu Yan trudged up the stairs to the roof. She sighed as she remembered her conversation with An Qi. She felt bummed over the fact that she realised that she did care about Ding Xiao Yu but couldn't do anything about it but ignore her feelings. She groaned – that was just another thing that dampened her mood. She hadn't been in the best mood for the past week or so anyway and it seemed to be getting worse as the week went on. "Why do I feel so gloomy these days?" she muttered as she whipped out the tablets her father had made for her. She ran her thumb over the lid of the tube before popping the lid open. As she pushed open the door to the roof she picked up a tablet and began feeling it with her fingers.

"Could it be a side effect of my medicine?" she muttered, "I don't feel feverish and warm anymore... but I don't like the side effects... I get annoyed more easily, my feelings seem more sensitive and my heart feels really weird, it's a little unpleasant. I don’t like feeling like some sad and pathetic loser."
She held the tablet between her thumb and index finger, rubbing against it before crushing it into a fine powder. She sighed as she sat against a wall, "Despite the side effects, I should take them. At least I won't be ill anymore." As she reached for her tablets, a hand grabbed onto her own.

Xiao Yu took her hand and wrapped her fingers around a paper bag. He then sat down next to her.
"What are you doing?" Yu Yan hissed, facing him.
"Sorry I haven't been spending much time with you this week, I didn't know you were sick." Xiao Yu apologised softly, "Accept my bagel as an apology, okay?"
Yu Yan huffed and shoved the bagel into her bag, "Tch whatever. What makes you think that I need to spend my time with you? I told you, we aren't friends."

Xiao Yu sighed before showing a small smile, "You should hang out with us, An Qi is really nice," he said.

"I don't want to." Yu Yan snapped, "Go hang out with her and stop bothering me."

"Aren't you lonely?" Xiao Yu asked.
"Why would I be? I've been alone my whole life, I don't get lonely," Yu Yan replied, "And besides... Ya Se always ends up dragging me off somewhere and Wu Xiong invites me to eat with them so I'm not what you would call, 'lonely'," she explained as she faced away from him.
Xiao Yu's smile fell slowly, "Oh, that's right."

Jiang Yu Yan turned to Xiao Yu, "Why did you sound gloomy just now?"
"I guess I caught it from you," Xiao Yu answered her.
"I'm not gloomy, why would I be gloomy?" Yu Yan retorted before getting her forehead poked by Xiao Yu.
He chuckled, "Only you wouldn't see that big gloomy cloud hanging over your head."
Yu Yan touched the spot he had touched, "Oi, don't touch me!" she exclaimed with the corners of her lips twitching upwards.
"That's the Yu Yan I know," he declared at her outburst before gently poking her again.
Yu Yan slapped his finger away before putting her hand over his face and pushing him over. She laughed as a cry of surprise escaped Xiao Yu's lips.

Xiao Yu grabbed onto her shirt and pulled her down with him and the two hit the ground and rolled about on the floor. Yu Yan lay on the ground beside Xiao Yu with contentment.

"You're finally smiling, the cloud of gloom must be gone," Xiao Yu reported in his usual quiet voice and he waved his hand over her head as though he was shooing the clouds away.
Yu Yan rolled over to face Xiao Yu, "And you? Is your cloud of gloom still there?" she asked as she reached over to pat his head as if she was looking for something.
A faint blushed spread across Xiao Yu's cheeks at the closeness of their faces. As Yu Yan touched his head, he looked at her smiling face and felt something flutter in his heart. He looked at her doll-like glass eyes that gleamed in the sunlight but showed no sign of life. Although her eyes were lifeless, her laugh sounded genuine and made his heart unexpectedly skip a beat. As a result, he quickly shot up into a sitting position to ignore these weird feelings.

Yu Yan remained flat on the ground. At that moment in time, she felt as though Xiao Yu really did clear away the gloom in her heart and she felt at ease. The two then remained quiet and Xiao Yu looked down at her peaceful face. As the clouds in the dull blue sky moved away, revealing the sun, the sun's rays cast light upon her face, making her skin glow. Xiao Yu found himself gazing at her face with a smile, she’s actually really pretty when she's not scowling or yelling at someone, he thought as he chuckled.

"Little Fish, do you like staring at people?" Yu Yan queried, startling him. "You seem to do it alot."
"Uh, I was just thinking. I didn't realise I was staring at you," he stuttered, embarrassed.
"Thinking about...?" she replied before she exhaled a deep breath of air, "Forget it, I don't want to know. I don't care."
"Jiang Yu Yan," Xiao Yu began in a soft voice, "It's almost New Years, do you have a New Year's wish?"
Yu Yan crossed her arms behind her head and rested her head on her hands, "I don't care for such celebrations."
"Why not? It's a time for everyone to get together and celebrate the coming of a new year," Xiao Yu replied.
"So? What's so amazing about it? Time will still go on. Boring and repetitive days will still continue. Why do people want to celebrate the coming of a year that will be the same as the previous one?" she pondered.
"Because people look forward to their futures. No one knows what the future holds and it's exciting to wish and hope for a better year. It's also a chance to improve oneself and become a better person." Xiao Yu explained, "It's a fresh start for everyone and another chance to create unforgettable memories with their loved ones."

Yu Yan glanced over at him, "What if you don't have a future?"
"Everyone has a future. You just have to mould its foundations to make something out of it." Xiao Yu replied as he looked up at the sky.
"What about those suffering in the world? Those that are depressed? Those that have no happiness in their lives and have no control over what happens - what would a new year mean to them?" Yu Yan questioned, "I see nothing but darkness in my future so what am I supposed to look forward to?"
He then looked down at her, "For those that are suffering, wouldn't a new year show that they've made it to the end of another year? It would show that they're still alive and wouldn't it give them strength to carry on bravely into their future?" Xiao Yu asked.
"That's not convincing," Yu Yan admitted, "Everyone has different situations and lead different lives. You can’t generalise, and not everyone has the power to change their future or even care about a new year. I don't see it as anything special so you can't speak on behalf of everyone."
"You're right, I can't. But I can atleast help brighten your future, right?" Xiao Yu claimed in a gentle voice.

Yu Yan's eyes widened because of the tenderness in his voice and she fell silent, completely overwhelmed by his softness. My future is already decided. I don't have one because it doesn't belong to me. My sole purpose is to serve someone else, I won't live another year. she replied in her mind. "What if... and I'm saying what if... you won't live any longer than a year... what if your life belongs to someone else..." she hypothesised in a quiet voice that trailed off into a whisper and faded out into the wind.
Puzzled at her unusual question, Xiao Yu looked at her seriously, "Then you have to live your remaining life to the fullest."
"That's easier said than done..." Yu Yan sighed.
"Why would you ask such-" Xiao Yu was interrupted by his phone that rang in his pocket.

Yu Yan listened to his ringtone that was a beautiful piano melody until Xiao Yu answered the call and began speaking.

"Who was it?" she asked after Xiao Yu ended the call.
"It was An Qi," he said which made Yu Yan's smile fall. But she picked it up again.
"What did she say?" she asked, trying to ignore a faint tug on her heart.
"She invited me out to eat but I declined." Xiao Yu explained as he tucked his phone into his pocket.
"Why?" Yu Yan asked, surprised, "Don't you like her? I thought people would love to be with the people they love."

Xiao Yu smiled, "That's true, but I want to be with you right now."
"What?" Yu Yan laughed, "What if I don't want to be with you?"
"I feel like I haven't seen you all week," Xiao Yu replied.
"You should go," Yu Yan advised supportively, "I want to take a nap. Also, An Qi isn't staying here for long, she'll be gone soon. If you like her, shouldn't you try and spend as much time with her? Who knows if and when you'll see her again."

Xiao Yu looked at her, surprised that Jiang Yu Yan was saying such things that were very unlike her character. "I'm surprised you didn't say 'Do whatever, I don't care' or 'Hurry up and leave me alone, you're annoying'," he remarked, imitating her voice.
"Shut up!" she exclaimed as she hit his arm lightly. "Well, aren't you going to go?"
"Do you want me to go?" he asked.
"Why would I want you to stay?" she shot back.
Xiao Yu stood up to leave, "Do you want to join us?"
She shook her head in response, "Of course not. I don't want to be your third wheel."
"Oh well then I'll see you later," he replied as he walked away, "Bye bye."

As he walked away, Yu Yan sat up quickly. "Little Fish," she began, making him stop. He turned round to look at her. "I like your ringtone," she finished.
"Thanks," he beamed, "It's a song I made for An Qi."
Yu Yan felt the tug on her heart become stronger but she forced a small smile on her face, An Qi, An Qi, An Qi... "It's...a beautiful melody," she slowly admitted, "I could hear your feelings for her..." she trailed off awkwardly.

Xiao Yu smiled, glad that Yu Yan was able to use her heart to listen to his music rather than just her ears.