Double update, read chapter 41 if you haven't yet.  

After I had stopped crying, Yoonsan had gone to get the doctor and after a few tests, the doctor said that the episode that I just had, was my memories fully coming back. He gave us the okay to go and we left after I changed back into my previous outfit. It was 12 midnight meaning I had been passed out for a whole day and had missed my birthday.

“Don’t worry, jagi. We can always do something later. Let’s just get home so you can rest.” I merely nodded my head, allowing Yoonsan to guide me out of the hospital. I didn’t have the energy to speak at the moment.

When we got home, Yoonsan instantly took me upstairs to our room. I moved like a robot after that, going about my nightly routine before climbing into bed. I clung to Yoonsan like a koala. He would normally push me away if I did that but I think he knew that I needed some form of physical assurance that I wasn’t alone. What I had seen had scared me, but I needed answers.

The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual. Yoonsan was still asleep so I had to maneuver my way carefully out of his grip so that he wouldn’t wake up. Once I did so, I grabbed a change of clothes from my side of the closet and went into the restroom to get dressed. If I remember correctly from yesterday and if everything was true, today would be the anniversary of Hyeonsu’s death. I bit down on my lip to keep from crying and possibly waking Yoonsan. Once I was dressed and ready, I hurried down the stairs and to the garage. I grabbed the keys from the car that Yoonsan bought me when I got my driver’s license a month ago. I’ve hardly used it, I had things I needed to do and I didn’t feel comfortable with anyone else being with me.

It took me a few moments to calm down once behind the wheel but when I felt better, I started the car and as soon as I was out of the driveway and on the street, I headed straight for my parents’ house. When I got to my parents’ house, I didn’t see my father’s car, but my mother was home. One out of both parents would have to do.

“Young master Eunjung, what are doing here?” The gardener was coming from around back with a pair of shears.

“I need to see my mother. She is here, right?” The gardener seemed hesitant.

“She is but-“ I hurried past the gardener and into the house. Now that I had my ‘memories’ back, everything was starting to make sense. My birthday always felt somber and someone would always come and take me away for my birthday and the day after and I wouldn’t return until after those two days. I always wondered about it, but never questioned it out loud.

“Mother? Mother, where are you?” I tore through the house, trying to find her.

I finally found my mother upstairs in a bedroom. I remembered that the door to this bedroom was always closed but I never questioned it. I just assumed it was a storage closet for the cleaning supplies for the maids. No, it was a bedroom. A girl’s bedroom to be exact and it was making everything more real.

“What do you want?” My mother didn’t even look at me, staying seated on the bed.

“Did oppa and I have a sister?” I cut straight to the point, twisting the extravagant wedding ring on my ring finger out of nervousness.

“Answer my question, mother.” I demanded when she stayed silent.

My mother scoffed, finally looking at me. “So now that you have your memories back, you think you can talk to me anyway you want?” She stood up and out of instinct, I took a step back. She laughed when I did that.

“Just like I thought, weak. You always were weak though, hiding behind Hyeonsu. I don’t know why she even bothered to protect you since it got her killed.”

“No, I didn’t kill her. It wasn’t my fault.” I stayed up late last night, thinking about this and if Hyeonsu was anything like I remembered, she wouldn’t want me blaming myself.

“No, it was your fault. I didn’t even want you but Hyeonsu was so happy when she heard that I was pregnant and if I gave you away, we would be shunned. I never wanted you. You were a mistake and you ruined everything for me.” Her words alone felt like a slap to the face.

“Yes, you and Moonkyu had a sister. Her and Moonkyu were the only children I was supposed to have but you came along and messed everything up. If I could, I would’ve treated you like one of the staff but Hyeonsu threatened to tell and everyone already knew about your useless existence.”

“Hyeonsu wouldn’t want me blaming myself or you blaming me.” I tried to keep my tone strong and steady but what she said, hurt me, real deep.

“How would you know if you forgot about her for practically 10 years? What kind of sister are you, forgetting the sister that took care of you? She risked her life for you and you just forget that she existed.” My mother sneered.

“It wasn’t my fault.” I whispered, feeling the lump in my throat grow.

“It was your fault. It was always your fault.” My mother poked my harshly with every word until the very end when she slapped me instead.

“My daughter was taken from me and I was left with a disobedient child. The one I didn’t even want to begin with.” I looked over at my mother, keeping a hand to the cheek that she slapped and I nearly gasped when I saw the tears b in her own eyes.

“Why did it have to be her and not you instead? Why did she love you so much? She wasn’t even your mother.”

“She was more of a mother to me then you’ll ever be.” And with that, I was running out of the house and back to my car. I took a while to compose myself before starting the car and driving away.

I ended up at Moonkyu oppa’s apartment complex. I only came here once with Yoonsan when Moonkyu oppa first moved into it a few months ago. I haven’t visited since but I was surprised that I remembered what floor he had lived on and the apartment number but I guess I was on robot mode because my body was just moving without me having to think about it.

“Oppa, I, I need to talk to you. Please, can I come in?” I knocked on his door and waited a good minute but I hadn’t even heard anything.

“Oppa, please, I need to talk to-“ I had my hand on the handle, only to find that the door was unlocked. I opened it slowly, finding that it was pretty dark inside. I didn’t even take off my shoes and just walked straight into the apartment. I found Moonkyu oppa sitting at the mini bar that he had in his apartment. Mulitple bottles were left open on the counter and Moonkyu oppa had a glass in front of him. He also had a shoe box next to his glass and some papers were scattered around the counter or him.

“Oppa…” I gently called out, wiping the few tears that have escaped my eyes.

“Noona was my first best friend. We did everything together up until you were old enough to walk without any help and then it was the three of us together.” His voice wasn’t slurred but from how many bottles were empty, it was obvious that he had been drinking. I could smell the alcohol on him as well.

“I was jealous at first and hated you because noona called you precious and I was just darling but I finally saw how mom and dad would treat you and then I realized that you needed to be noona’s affection more than me.” I felt my heart clench at how sad Moonkyu oppa sounded.

“Oppa, was it my fault? Was everything my fault?” He drank what was in his glass in one shot, putting the glass down a bit harshly.

“She was a mom to me too, our mom was never the motherly type. But, you were the only one that would give noona carnations that you made in school for mothers’ day.” Moonkyu oppe pulled out a paper carnation from he shoebox. I bent down and picked up all the papers that were on the floor, realizing that they were drawings. Drawings that I had done and given to Hyeonsu.

“It was hard for me to be kind to you because you needed noona’s love more. That’s what she always told me, that you needed more attention but then promise me that she loved me as well. If she did love me, why did she have to die saving you? If you loved noona, why did you run into the street after she told you not to?” Moonkyu oppa finally looked at me and I could see the dried tear streaks on his face and how bloodshot his eyes were.

“I, I’m sorry.” I looked down, my tears landing on one of the drawings.

“Do you know how hard it was for me to even look at you after that day? Noona made me promise to be a good oppa for you, but I wanted to be selfish. It’s getting harder to be selfish now though but I don’t even know if I’ve even fully forgiven you. I don’t know if I ever can forgive you.” I looked up at him just as I heard his door slam open.

Author’s Point of View

Junhyuk was walking back to his car in the airport parking lot. He had dropped off Rani at the airport and went in as far as he was allowed before he had to turn back. He was glad that she came to see him but wished she left later. Today was a difficult day for him. As he reached his car, his phone started to ring.

“Hyung, have you seen Eunjung?” Junhyuk didn’t even get to say ‘hello’ when Yoonsan started to speak.

“No. Why? Is everything okay, San?” Junhyuk got into his car, his phone connecting to the Bluetooth when he his car.

“I don’t know. I woke up and Eunjung wasn’t here. The maids hadn’t seen her or Sooyoung noona and her car is missing. I don’t know where she’s gone and she isn’t picking up her phone or answering any of my texts.” Junhyuk could hear the worry in Yoonsan’s voice, he felt bad for his dongsaeng.

“Do you have any idea where she could be?” Junhyuk asked as he pulled out of the parking space.

“No, hyung. But, she’s been acting weird since she woke up yesterday. The doctor says she fully got her memories back but she hasn’t explained anything to me so I don’t know. Hyung, please, you’ve known her longer than I have, do you know what might have happened?” Junhyuk sighed.

“I think I know where she could be. Don’t worry, San. I’ll find her.” And with that, Junhyuk hung up and drove straight to Moonkyu’s apartment complex. If his gut feeling was right, he would find Eunjung there.

When he pulled up to the apartment, he didn’t worry about parking correctly and just got out of his car, hurrying to get to Moonkyu’s apartment. When he got there, he found the door was unlocked so he let himself in. When he fully got into the apartment, he found Eunjung staring at Moonkyu who was obviously drunk.

“Eunjung, let’s leave Timo, yeah. He needs some time to himself.” He noticed how unresponsive Eunjung was and wondered what Moonkyu said. He promised himself to come back after he dropped Eunjung off back home with Yoonsan.

Junhyuk guided Eunjung out of the apartment and down to his car. Eunjung was eerily quiet the whole time and Junhyuk took notice of the papers she was holding. He didn’t expect her to talk as he started the car, pulling away from the parking lot as another car just pulled in. Talk about perfect timing.

“Oppa…was it really my fault?” Junhyuk wanted to jump at Eunjung’s voice. It sounded so weak but it was unexpected.

“No, why would you think that?” Junhyuk glanced over at her before looking back at the road. Eunjung didn’t answer his question though and went back to being silent.

“What was Hyeonsu to you?” Junhyuk smiled a sad smile at this question.

“She was my best friend. We were in the same class and got along real well. When I first met you, you were still a toddler and Timo was a year younger than me but because of Hyeonsu, I got not only a little sister, but a brother.” Junhyuk stopped when he heard Eunjung’s shuddery breath but continued to talk when Eunjung mumbled for him to keep going.

“She, she made me promise to take care of you just a few days before the incident. It’s almost like she knew something was going to happen. She wanted me to be there for you and Timo. I tried hard to keep the promise but almost broke it the day of the accident but when I saw you lying on the hospital bed, looking so confused, it’s almost like I felt Hyeonsu push me towards you. She always cared so much about you and Timo, but at that moment, Timo was crying with your mom but you had no one.” Junhyuk swallowed the lump in his throat when he heard Eunjung’s choked sob.

“I had nightmares for weeks about your scream and how the nurses having to sedate you. When you woke up, you didn’t remember the accident or Hyeonsu. Your mother almost told you at that moment but she had to be restrained by the doctor because it would’ve done a lot of damage if she did. I did my best to watch out for you and Timo but sometimes I felt like I was failing. Hyeonsu wouldn’t want you blaming yourself though, Eunjung. You were her precious Eunjungie and if she were alive now, she’d want to see you smile.” Junhyuk knew Eunjung was trying her hardest to stop crying.

“She was my first love, and I’d do anything to honour my last promise for her. If she could, she would risk her alive again for both you and Timo.” And with that, Eunjung broke down, sobbing. Junhyuk made it back to her’s and Yoonsan’s house and moved to hug her but before he got the chance, Eunjung was out the car and hurrying into the house. He followed after her and watched as she rushed past Yoonsan and up the stairs, ignoring his calls. He heard a door slam shut and he flinched at the noise.

“Hyung, what did you do?!” Yoonsan was instantly in front of Junhyuk.

“I confirmed everything.” Junhyuk wanted to explain everything to Yoonsan but when they heard the wails coming from the master bedroom, Yoonsan was gone and up the stairs, trying to get into the bedroom so he could comfort Eunjung. Junhyuk saw himself out, holding in the tears until he got into his car where he freely cried, mourning the loss of his first love and Eunjung.

A/N Damn...welp...that happened...yeeeeaaaah...love you all!