Author’s POV

“Do you want to go in and talk to her on your own first or do you want me to come with you?” Sehun asked Luhan as they walked up to the house about two hours later. Luhan opened the door to the house, which was locked, meaning Mirae had most likely not woken up yet.

“Uh... I’ll talk to her first,” he said.

Sehun nodded. “Just remember that if she looks uncomfortable or notice that she’s...” Sehun stopped talking as he saw Mirae coming out from the bedroom. She was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a dark blue hoodie with the hood up, covering her hair. Mirae lifted her head; she smiled upon recognising Sehun again.

“Hi Sehun,” she greeted kindly.

“Hi Mirae. How are you?” Sehun friendly asked.

“I’m good. How are you?” Mirae replied. Luhan noticed that her smile had brightened a little after Sehun’s question. It wasn’t that he blamed her, he only felt a little...jealous? Luhan frowned. I’m not jealous... he told himself.

“I’m good too. Uh... Luhan here has something he wants to tell you. Hold on,” Sehun said. He shoved his elbow in Luhan’s abdomen, not hard but enough for Luhan to temporarily lose his breath. “Are you in there?” Sehun whispered to him in Chinese.

“What are you talking about?” Luhan answered.

“Eh? The girl?” Sehun continued in Chinese and nodded discreetly towards Mirae. She saw his little nod though, so it wasn’t much of a secret gesture. Luhan swallowed. Now that he was going to talk to her, Luhan didn’t feel that confident anymore. What were really the odds that Mirae could forgive him despite of what he had done in the past? Sehun had forgiven him, but Sehun had known him since they were kids.

“Mirae... Can I speak with you? Alone...” Luhan asked. He could see that Mirae was unsure at first, but then she must have mustered courage because she nodded her head. Luhan walked up to her and opened the bedroom door so that they could walk in. Mirae sat down on the right side of the bed while Luhan sat on the left. Both of them were staring down into the floor with their hands on the edge of the bed. Luhan felt like his voice would crack if he talked, yet he knew nothing was going to change until he got out what had to come out. Thus, he opened his mouth, saying words he never thought he would need to ask anyone. “What do you think of me? I mean, what do you honestly think of me?”

“I don’t know,” Mirae quickly responded. Luhan prepared himself to speak again, but this time Mirae cut him off before he could start. “It’s like there are two sides of you. One shows care and the other is...”

“An idiot?” Luhan filled in, glancing up at her.

“...frightening,” Mirae corrected. Luhan’s head instantly fell down. He had known Mirae was able to pick that word out of all else. However, for Luhan, it felt like there wasn’t a worse word she could have picked out. He knew all too well that he used to control people with fear, but then Sehun had told him that fear stay the longest within a person, meaning Mirae might never allow him close to her even if she had forgiven him. “It’s like I don’t know where I’ve got you. One second you leave me alone and the next you’re yelling at me... Then you ask me not to cry. It’s really scary not knowing if I can relax or not.”

Luhan tugged on his bottom lip. This guilt... He tried to take a deep breath, though failed because he trembled too much. “I’m really, really sorry,” he whispered.

“Sorry won’t help.”

“I know,” Luhan quickly replied. “I know... I just don’t know what else to say. I can’t fully explain why I’ve been like this.”

“You did yesterday. You said I was the spit in your face from your father because you had to marry me instead of Li Jing. That’s what you said. If you’ve lied then I can tell you it won’t help you get out of the depth any more,” Mirae said.

“I didn’t lie. It truly felt like that. I won’t ever forget the day my father brought me into his office and told me: I’ve found you a proper girl! She’s of the same high status as our family, her family is in desperate need of money and she’s good in school and beautiful. What more can you ask for in a girl, right? You’ll get some Korean lessons right now so that you’ll be fluent when we move there. Now leave me, I’ve got work to do.” Luhan exhaled heavily. “I got so...”

“Scared?” Mirae filled in now. “What do you think I got when my father and mother asked me to come into the living room because they wanted to talk with me? I thought I’d done something wrong. Then they asked Jongin to leave as well, and I got terrified. He refused to leave me alone though. And then my father told me our company was going under and how he’d found the perfect solution and it was that he’d give m