Schizophrenia.

That's what it was called.

The mental disorder Minho has to live with for his whole life.

He was never going to get better.

I sat in one of the benches at the park, it was still sunny out but the sun was setting. I closed my tired eyes and went back to the times which Minho's symptoms probably showed.

He had hallucinations of hearing voices and seeing things.

Thinking back to the time Minho has tried to reached out for help, I hated myself for not seeing the signs, I hated myself for not looking into it. He was suffering for so so long, and no one knew about it.

"Oppa mianhe" I whispered out slowly. I wished I could take his pain away, I wished I could help him, I wished that he will get better and to be happy.

I sure wished for a lot of the impossibles.

As I continued to sit under the evening sky, I thought back to the day I met Minho. My first impression of him was that he sure did not look his age, as I was supposed to get a younger brother. I let out a small smile as I remembered clearly that I was totally wrong when in fact he was my oppa.

I remembered the incident of me nearly killed him due to my silly self mistakening him as an intruder, and thank goodness the killing never happened. I also remembered being too nosy and discovering about Yu Ree, which Minho warned me about but I totally ignored, leading to the incident with Gikwang which nearly killed me. I remembered how supportive and caringMinho was and that I wouldn't have gotten over that if it wasn't for his help.

My hands reached for the necklace that hung around my neck and my memories took me back to the moment I first saw the jewelry. He bought me the necklace to say how sorry he was due to his behaviour.

Was that one of the early symptoms? Causing him to be so emotionally unstable?

He was already hurting back then, he must've been so confused and scared, and I didn't even know about it.

I snapped out of my painful thoughts and realized I was crying. "Idiot" I let out as I began to wipe my tears with the back of my hand. Why was I crying? All I could do was cry and I hated it, crying was not going to change anything nor help Minho in anyway. In the next few seconds my phone vibrated in my pocket and it was my mother. She had been calling me at least once per day due to her paranoia and worry for me despite that I tell her everyday I was fine and doing okay.

I took in a deep breath and tried to calm my emotions before hitting the answer button.

I was expecting my mother to ask me how my day was, or about what I was up to at this moment. But I found it odd that she was asking where I was at, and it got more strange when she sounded almost panicky.

"Omma, I am just at the park, the one not far from our house. What is the mat-" I answer her but I was beginning to feel as if something was really wrong. Why did my mother sound so nervous? Was something really wrong?

The next second, what she told me through the phone almost made my body froze in place. My mind couldn't conprehend it, I couldn't understand what she was saying, because she has told me that Minho has been in a car accident.

What my mother said on the phone next went through deaf ears because I couldn't get my mind around this. How was Minho in a car accident when he was supposed to be in the psychiatric hospital, receiving treatment from doctors, and being looked after.

"Omma, I don't understand this. Why is Minho hurt? Wasn't he in the hospital? Why is he here?" My mother had me in her arms while I continued to sob away. She couldn't give me an answer, because I knew she was just as confused as me.

Minho was surgery and I didn't know how long it was going to take but I knew that it was serious. Because no one was telling us anything.

Dae Jung had been absent ever since I arrived into the hospital. My mother has told me that Dae Jung was away to give blood as backup. He was giving blood, giving blood to Minho. Which mean't there was massive bleeding from Minho if he required this much blood.

As I sat there and waited, I couldn't keep that sickening thought away from my mind. With each second passing that thought was becoming more real. What if Minho doesn't pull through?

No. He has to pull through because he did not deserve this. He has suffered almost all his life, he didn't deserve this. He deserved to be happy.

And at that moment, after that thought, the doors opened and a doctor with a nurse made their way towards us. 

"Minho's condition is stable for the moment but due to his extensive bleeding he will be moved over to the ICU. The areas which he were bleeding intensively in we've managed to stop. However-"

There it was, the thing which I dreaded the most.

"We found slight internal bleeding to his head, we stopped most of it, but with the given time he was brought to the hospital it is hard to say how large the damage will be. We are going to undertake a Magnetic Resonance Imaging of his head soon and we should get the results early morning tomorrow."

My mother nods and thanks the doctor whom began to walk back to where he came. The nurse stayed behind and gestured for us to sit down again. "When can we see him?" I asked.

"After the MRI, Minho will be moved to the ICU and from on there you can visit him" The nurse answered.

"Hara, I think it's best now for you to go home. You havn't eaten and you have school tomorrow" I hear my mother say, but there was no way I was going to leave, not until I see Minho.

Thankfully my mother did not persist on that any longer and instead, she went to buy me some food as I remained seated.

I let out a sigh. I was doing that a lot lately. What was happening to everyone around me? First Gikwang, then Key, Yoseob, and now Minho. It seems that everyone's got their own problems and here I am, I am problematic free and it hurt to know that I was once apart of their lives and I couldn't reduce any of their problems or help in any way.

The wait to visit Minho took longer than we expected, this was because the doctors were conducting more scans on Minho's head. Dae Jung has asked them about the chances of Minho having brain damage however the doctors has told him that the chances of it was low.

It wasn't until around 11:00 P.M that we were give