[Yunho’s P.O.V]

I just freeze at my spot looking at Tiffany back getting further away from me. I want to catch her, I want to run to her, hug her and tell her that I love her but I can’t move my feet at all. I just look Tiffany walk away from me. I stood there for only God knows for how long. I can feel that someone is besides me, maybe it’s Changmin as it was him who was with us when all of it happens.

“If you keep on standing like that for the rest of the day, you won’t be able to go to your class tomorrow.” That’s not Changmin. I guess he was shocked to see my reaction and decided to call for the oldest one to help me.

“For three years, I couldn’t be near Mi Young, scared that I’ll hurt her even more. When she’s by my side, I couldn’t remember her and treated her badly and when I finally remember who Tiffany Hwang Mi Young is, I lost her once again.” I said and I can feel the tears fall down my cheeks as I once again lose Tiffany. Jaejoong didn’t say anything, maybe because he doesn’t know what to say but he just stays besides me.

 “People say that if we love someone, let them go and if they come back they’re truly ours. What if they come back and they left again? Am I supposed to just let her go once again and wait for her to come back?” I ask. I never really care about those love quotes Hyuna always said to me, but I can’t seem to forget this quote. I let Tiffany go, she came back but I lost her again. Again, Jaejoong stays quiet.

After Jaejoong make sure that I’m fine by myself, he went down to entertain our guest. For the rest of the day, I stay upstairs, didn’t even bother to go down to entertain the guest. We have four more owners, they can do it. Why didn’t I chase after Tiffany just now?

I don’t want Tiffany to move on. I sound selfish right now but I just can’t. We keep on losing on each other every time we have the chance to be together. I remember the day I got into the accident, I was on my way to meet Tiffany to tell her that I don’t mind getting married to her because I know there’s something in my heart for her that is beyond friendship and beyond siblings, but I don’t know if it’s love or not. If I don’t love her, why would I have pictures of her everywhere in my house? I rushed to meet her and ended up in an accident and lost my memory.

I don’t know why fate decides to play games on us but I can’t bear losing her anymore. A day without seeing Tiffany makes me feel all gloomy, I can’t bear with that, and that’s why I have all of her pictures on my room. At least, every single thing I do, I can still see her. Why was I stupid to tell her to cancel the marriage?

“You know, if you really love her and don’t want her to leave you, you can still chase her and tell her about your feelings.” I look ahead seeing Yoochun walking towards me with a glass of wine. I was going to do that but I don’t know why I didn’t.

“Yeah, I wonder why didn’t I do that?” I said pretending to laugh at my own silliness.

“Well sometimes we all agree that Yunho is a bit stupid.” He said, I think he’s joking. Or was he being serious? Whatever it is, I laughed a bit at his question.

“She’s living with Changmin right now. If you want to find her, you’ll find her there.” Yoochun said to me. I didn’t know that she’s living with Changmin right now. I absolutely know nothing of her after the accident. Why didn’t she live with her old housemates, Jessica and Sunny? What happen?

“Why didn’t you find her earlier? I mean, after the photoshoot, you remembered everything and you have about 4 to 5 days, why didn’t you come back to Korea and tell her everything?” Yoochun asks me.

“I was confused. I was confused if it was really my old memories or I was forcing myself to remember the things that never happened.” I told him. I had a really hard time at that time. Yoochun remain silent, I guess he don’t have anything to say since he never lost his memory before. I then leave him alone upstairs and drive back to my home. There’s nothing at the party anyway, I better go and rest my head and my brain at home.

I then remembered back what Yoochun said to me, about Tiffany being at Changmin’s house. I can’t reach Tiffany at all because her handphone is off, if I go to Changmin’s house, how am I to make her open the door? Changmin won’t give any of us his password anyways. I really want to go to Tiffany and explain everything again. I want to tell her that I won’t regret marrying her because I love her.

After two minutes lying on the bed after changing my clothes, I run to my car and drove to Changmin’s house. I don’t really want to care about the ‘ifs’ I said before and just do what I think is the best. The best thing in my mind right now is stopping Tiffany from walking away from me. When I reached Changmin’s house, I knock on the door but there’s no answer at all. The lights are off as well, knowing Tiffany, she won’t let the lights off when she’s staying alone by herself. I keep on knocking on the door but no one is answering it, so I just sit down in front of the door and wait for either Changmin to come home or Tiffany to open the door.

When I lost my memory, there’s something good I gain from it. I was able to understand my own feelings more and I was able to really understand Tiffany’s feeling. I was able to know that she rarely says what she meant to say because she hates burdening people and she hates troubling people. She also hates everyone around her pampering her when she told them she wants to be independent. She always tells everyone that ‘she’s fine’ even when people around her know that she’s not and they have to pretend as if they believe her, and she usually knows that they are pretending. He was able to understand Tiffany just by looking into her eyes, when before this, it was really hard of him to understand her feelings.

Tiffany had never liked the feeling of being pampered too much, she always feels that we all pampering her makes her always relying on them for help. She thinks that she won’t survive this world if it’s not for us, but she is a very strong person. The most hurtful thing someone can feel was betrayal and heart breaks. She went through both of it fine and is even stronger than most people.

I keep on lying in front of the door when Yoochun texts me that Changmin won’t be coming home because he’s drunk and refuse to go home. I put my phone into my pocket back and just close my eyes, maybe Tiffany is asleep or maybe she’s outside. I will wait for her here.