The dream had become more and more intense.

It was maddening to think what absurd dreams could do to her. Sometimes the woman showed in complete form but also sometimes she was something that Taeyeon couldn’t figure out for sure. However without a doubt, Taeyeon knew she was always present.

Not only the dream had become more intense, it also had turned to be more graphic.

It didn’t take a genius to work out what they were doing. Almost every cell in her body recognized the woman’s touch. The moment the stranger’s fingertips connected with her skin, her senses awakened effortlessly. Her body didn’t – couldn’t reject her. As cliché as it sounded, they were like a complete the puzzle. When their limbs intertwined, Taeyeon realized that here was where she belonged. The endless restlessness finally came to an end. She was safe in the woman’s embrace.

Nevertheless, almost was not enough. There was cell that aware that this feeling was wrong. The wetness from the (how embarrassing) was very disturbing. When she jolted up from her sleep, the guilt ate her alive. Moreover when she saw Rachel’s peaceful face right next to her the first thing when she opened her eyes.

She ran under the cold shower to wash away this unwanted thick liquid. The water couldn’t manage to clear her mind. The woman’s body was still tingling on hers, giving unending goosebumps.

Madness.

She knew she’d go into madness if she didn’t get the answer soon. She was getting impatient. She had sent her correspondence to the transplant center two weeks ago, before she went to short getaway with Rachel. But till this day, still nothing. She had not heard anything. Did they forward it? Or the donor’s family refused to accept her letter?

She hated to feel powerless. She hated to commit a crime she didn’t intend to do. Rachel didn’t deserve this. Both of them didn’t deserve this.

A knock snapped her out from the daydream.

“Baby?”

“Y – yeah?”

“You’re okay in there?”

Rachel asked this question frequently. Every time she did, Taeyeon would dodge off, saying she was fine. It was not Rachel’s nature to be nosy but she couldn’t help to care. It was the point of building a relationship, she supposed.

“Yes! I – I’m just taking shower.” She shouted to overcome the noise of water hitting the floor.

“Want some help?”

A few months ago, Taeyeon would jump into this treat eagerly. Who wouldn’t? Rachel was the kind of woman people would die for. Taeyeon was not only talking about physical aspect. It was everything about Rachel. Unfortunately, today was not the same as a few months ago. She didn’t want to make love to her girlfriend while thinking about somebody else.

“I can make it better.”

Taeyeon quickly turned off the water and wrapped her body in a towel, pretending she didn’t hear Rachel’s last statement. She opened the door while flashing her girlfriend the best smile she could manage.

“It’s yours if you want to take a shower.” She said as innocent as she could.

Rachel was leaning on the wall across Taeyeon with her arms crossed on top of her chest, a subtle smirk was on her face. The baby blue bathrobe barely covered her body, easily revealing what she was wearing underneath it. In slow motion, she pushed herself off, taking her time as she drew closer towards Taeyeon.

Taeyeon gulped at the sight.

Smoothly, Rachel crept her hand from Taeyeon’s neck up to her wet hair and massaging her scalp gently. Her other hand was holding Taeyeon’s waist securely. The force was invisible. Taeyeon was not sure how she ended up cornered against the wall with Rachel’s mouth covering hers.

She could taste the worry, desperation, need and love.

Rachel’s touch was alien to her skin.

But she didn’t deserve this. Both of them didn’t deserve this.    

Closing her eyes, Tae