D day.

Taeyeon took the best formal outfit she could find in the wardrobe. She texted Ms. Hwang last night asking for an opinion on what to wear today. She had never faced a lawsuit before. She’d prefer something informal but she didn’t want to give a wrong impression on their first meeting.

She didn’t have any preparation. She didn’t think about what to say and what not to say. Her head hurt just to think about anything. The stress had started eating her from the inside. The uncomfortable feeling gradually turned into bad mood. There were nights she couldn’t sleep due to… she didn’t know. She just couldn’t sleep. She had tried to close her eyes, turn on some soft music, and make her room dim but none of that worked. She lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling till the dawn came.

Taeyeon glanced at her reflection in the mirror and thought what happened to you? The face that was staring back at her was a mess. Her eyes were shooting blood. There was no tint of happiness on that ugly visual.

Damn you, Demon.

Slowly, her eyes averted to the cabinet near the sink. Inside, there were pills. Happy pills as her psychiatrist called them because it was able to help her to get better. Those pills boosted her mood away from depression.

Tempting.

But I don’t need those drugs. I’m better. I’m a soldier. Soldier needs no drugs.

It had been a while since she was off the drugs. She made herself busy so she got not time to think or feel. She’d make her body extremely tired so she could sleep at night. The nightmare rarely appeared – if it did, she’d take a walk or hit the gym to forget it. However lately, the bad dream occurred more frequently.

Tempting. Maybe just this once.

You’re not weak. You don’t need it. You’re doing fine. You are exactly in your element.

 Her phone rang. Ms. Hwang is calling. The time has come.

After two drops of eye drops, three times blinking, her eyes were clear again.

Let’s put the casual mask on.

A few hours and it’d be over. She could deal with her demon later.

-----

“It will be okay.”

Taeyeon nodded with a perfect grin plastered on her face as usual. As if nothing could touch her. As if this had nothing on her. As if she was not under a massive cyclone of stress and trouble.

“Let me do the talk, alright?”

“I’m glad I don’t have to that, honestly.” She cracked a dry laugh. “I’m with words.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Tiffany smiled encouragingly. “If you can do it by yourself then you wouldn’t need me.” She joked lightly as they entered the building.

“There’s a lot I can do but talk? No. Not really.”

“I’ve figured it out.” Tiffany smirked smugly. “The first time we met. I already know it.”

“How?”

Tiffany didn’t get the chance to answer since they already arrived at the front office of the law firm. “Later.” She lightly touched Taeyeon’s arm, making the latter flustered.

“Good morning. How can I help you?” The polite man greeted the two of them.

“Uh, yeah. Morning. I’m Tiffany Hwang. We have an appointment with Ms. Kang Soohee.”

“Let me check with her secretary. Please wait a sec.”

“Nervous?” Tiffany turned to Taeyeon. She saw how tense Taeyeon was from the corner of her eyes.

“No–”

“You can go to the fifth floor. She’s been waiting for you.” The staff informed then the two excused themselves.

Today is the day of truth. Whether she’d hold a scalpel again, whether she’d ever walk into the hospital, and whether she could fulfill her promise to serve the humanity till the end of her life. It felt like judgmental day. It felt like doing a long winding process with no certain end. The longer she thought, the more she believed that she’d lose the case in the court.

So then, she needed to win now.

... or did she?

-----

Practice.

Practice medicine. Practice the endless cases. Practice to lose sleep. Practice to hold the scalpel. Practice to not tremble. Practice to not